Shattered Alpha

by Erin R Flynn

  Or really, he’s in charge of the whole Midwest, so it’s not the risk of coven before country. They’re really all mine after all, but since it seems like any I siren are mine forever or at least the bond can’t be broken without real repercussions, this just seems safer. Smarter.

  I can be smarter now and again. Granted, my execution lacked every other day, but oh well, that was life and I just had to keep getting back up and trying again.

  Though I’d be doing that from my new apartment… Which has a really nice fucking view of the city I love where all the people I love live. And I will keep getting up each morning because of them, because people need me to. It’s the job.

  The End

  Please Review!!

  I know it’s annoying, I hate doing it too. But it really, really helps the author with Amazon’s search algorithms and blah, blah, blah, you don’t care. I appreciate the kind and constructive reviews, I truly do. (Trolls not welcome, which means I just instigated every troll to troll me by saying that, *sigh*.)

  To say THANK YOU for taking the few minutes to review (and all the previous reviews), I’ve written an extra chapter that a lot of people have asked to see. I will absolutely write more extra side chapters and from the guys’ perspective like people have pleaded for to keep thanking you guys for the reviews. So please go review any and all of Sera’s books, and I hope you like the addition!

  Love,

  Erin

  Extra Chapter

  I was scared.

  I was scared a lot, no, more worried. I was always worried. I was scared when I opened my mouth and spoke. But I hadn’t that day. Mom and Dad were upset with me, and opening my mouth was always stupid when they were.

  This time was different. I was scared. I was terrified.

  I was being left behind.

  They woke me earlier than normal, telling me to hurry and get dressed, that we were doing something fun like the Cubs game a few days before. But it was lies. I saw it all when Mom shook me. She was careful not to touch my skin, as they figured out that was when I saw too much, but I moved and she did. It was enough.

  “We’ll be right back for you and go see lots of fish, Sera,” Dad lied as he stuck an envelope in my pocket. Even if I didn’t know it was a lie, I would have since he used my name. He never used my name.

  He called me names. Both my parents did, and I’d only realized recently that wasn’t normal, other kids didn’t go through that. I’d seen it when kindergarten had started. I’d seen parents hugging my classmates, loving them, giving kisses… None of which my parents did. They were careful not to touch me. They went so far as making me wear gloves to school, lying that I had a skin condition and had to protect my skin as much as possible.

  But summer had changed everything. Mom had learned something that upset them. It excited them too, but they were upset. Then they had taken me to the Cubs game.

  I think they’d meant to leave me there, but something had happened. Something had changed that plan. It made me sad because I’d had fun that day. I’d felt loved almost.

  For the first time ever.

  I didn’t fight what my parents said or the lie they told to leave me on the steps of a closed building while it was still dark outside. Their minds were made up, relieved they were free of me.

  What was the point of fighting?

  I’d been sitting there for hours before someone showed up. The man was shocked, and worry filled his kind eyes. Then he glanced around, as if remembering where we were wasn’t exactly safe. He approached slowly, kneeling on the step before me.

  “Are you lost?” he asked gently. I shook my head and handed over the envelope, knowing it was a letter to explain I’d been abandoned. Understanding filled his eyes before he even opened it. “Are you hurt? Do you need medical attention?”

  Again, I shook my head.

  “Can you talk?”

  After a moment I nodded.

  “Do you not want to?”

  I gave a slow nod. Opening my mouth got me in trouble. He was nice to me, and it was better not to talk then.

  “Okay, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I will have some questions, though, so I might need answers.” He extended his hand to me. “Come with me and I’ll keep you safe, okay?”

  I took his hand, and he was upset, so I got the images that got me in trouble. He was different, but not like me. He liked men. I didn’t understand why that would upset people, but what I saw told me it did. People had said he shouldn’t be alone with children because of it, and that was why he was upset to find me first.

  It was a silly concern because he would never hurt me or anyone. He was nice. I could see it. He loved puppies and even fed the “flying rats” my mom called birds. He liked plants and had a bunch at his apartment. He cut the flowers and brought them to his mom’s grave every chance he could. But he worried because he was black and liked men and he was alone with a little white girl.

  I blinked at him, unsure why his being black and me white mattered. Our neighbors were black and babysat me a lot. They were nicer to me than Mom and Dad. They wanted to take me from them; I saw it and liked them.

  I guessed I wouldn’t see them anymore.

  The nice man brought me to a large room with lots of chairs, windows all around us. He promised to come right back and did with a juice box and granola bar. I smiled at him when he gave it to me. Mom and Dad didn’t let me have fun stuff like that because they thought for a while the sugar made my disability worse.

  I ate while he read the letter in the envelope.

  “So you’re Seraphine Morris. Nice to meet you, Seraphine,” he said when he was done.

  I shook my head. Then before he said anything, I took off my backpack I’d filled with my favorite things, knowing I wouldn’t ever see them again if I didn’t. I found my coloring book and set it on the table, opening it and pushing it towards him.

  His eyes flashed shock when he saw the name inside. “Seraphine Thomas. Is that your real name?”

  I nodded.

  “Your parents lied so they couldn’t get in trouble,” he muttered, studying me. “Do you know what’s going on?”

  I nodded again. I might not understand what would happen next, but I knew my parents had abandoned me, happy to be free of me.

  He glanced from me to the letter. “Do you know why?”

  I gave a slow nod. They didn’t hide how much my disability had upset them.

  “Is it why you’re not speaking? You can trust me, Seraphine. I won’t hurt you.”

  That was true. I knew that. But he wasn’t in charge. It wasn’t my teacher that was the problem when I told her things, it was the principal who had been. People had bosses, and they weren’t nice from what I knew.

  He worried his lower lip when I didn’t answer then suddenly tapped the coloring book. “Did you write this? Do you know how to write your name already?”

  I nodded. He left to get a notepad and pen, giving it to me before sitting back down. The first thing I did was write down his answers. Most wouldn’t expect that from a kindergartener, but the only time Mom and Dad were happy was when it seemed I was smart. I worked hard, and before school had even started, I had learned all my letters and could read at a second grade level.

  “Mom and Dad don’t want me. They hate me. They left me to be found. I trust you. You’re not the boss. I don’t know them.”

  Shock filled his eyes as he read it. “The letter says you’re five. Are you really?”

  I gave a slow nod. I would turn six on Christmas.

  I hated my birthday. My parents were always mad at me. Dad said I wasn’t a gift from Santa but Krampus. I had no idea who that was, but the way Dad had said it, he couldn’t have been a nice guy.

  “What else in this letter is fake, Seraphine?” he asked gently. He handed it over with the notepad.

  I read it quickly, a few of the words I didn’t know and I circled them before writing down several things that were false on the notepad.r />
  “‘Extenuating circumstances’ means something beyond their control,” he explained after looking over what I gave him. He looked at me with sadness again. “Are your parents sick? We’ve had kids left with us when a parent is dying of cancer and it’s not safe for the child in the house. That’s an extenuating circumstance.”

  I shook my head. No, they weren’t sick.

  He told me what the rest of the words or phrases I’d circled meant, and I was glad he did. He was nice. Patient. My teacher was too, but he was nicer. She got frustrated with me because I got bored easily in class. It distracted the other students because I colored on my own when I was done with assignments.

  His eyes flashed shock again. “How do you know all these numbers, Seraphine? Children don’t normally know their social security number.”

  “I saw them on school papers,” I wrote, then I wrote my school name, address, and teacher’s name to his shock.

  “Why are you alone with a child?” a woman demanded as she came storming into the room, startling both of us.

  “I found her sitting on the steps waiting for us to open,” he explained, jumping to his feet. “We’ve just been talking. I gave her a juice box and granola bar when I heard her stomach growl.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why were you close enough to her to hear that?” She glanced at the table. “What else have you been doing?”

  “My job.” He was angered by what she said. I could see that much.

  She moved around the table and grabbed my arm. “You’re not to be left alone with a child. I will take over from here.”

  “No!” I shouted, pulling away from her. They both froze, and I darted around the table to him. “She doesn’t like kids. She hates them. She hates you. She’s leaving notes on your car and tells people you’re bad. I don’t want to go with her.”

  “Why you little…” she hissed and took a step towards me.

  The nice man moved to block me. “That’s enough, Lopez. I could have your job for this. You may hate me, but you’re no one’s favorite, either, so don’t think I can’t start trouble too.”

  “You whiney faggot,” she grumbled and gave me a hateful look. “If he molests you, you did it to yourself, you little freak.” She stormed out just as quickly as she’d come in.

  He closed the door behind her and sat down in his chair again, taking my hands in his. “I’m Daniel. I forgot to say that with the shock of finding you. It’s nice to meet you, Seraphine.”

  “Sera. I like Sera better,” I muttered.

  “How did you do that, Sera? How did you know what Mrs. Lopez thinks of me or has done?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just do. People get upset, and I see things.” He gave me a disbelieving look, and I got upset, hurrying around the table to get my coloring book and pencils. I plopped down and started coloring.

  “I’m not mad, Sera.”

  “People say that, but they are. They lie. You’re upset. She’s upset because I know things. Mom and Dad left me because I see things.”

  “What else did you see about me? Help me believe,” he said after a few minutes of quiet.

  “You like men, and that upsets people. I don’t know why, but you think it does. You didn’t like being alone with a little white girl.” I stopped coloring and looked at him. “Do white people scare you?”

  “Some days,” he admitted, scrubbing his hand over his head. “There is no sane explanation of why you know that.”

  “Not talking is safer,” I repeated, having heard it drilled into my head over and over again by my parents. But I was stupid and still did it. I always did it. Acting like each person was different. That it wasn’t fair to treat people all the same and give them a chance. They always hurt me. I realized something else my parents had always told me. “Are you going to return me to Kmart?”

  “I’m sorry?” he asked, giving me a confused look.

  I shrugged again. “Mom said I was a Blue Light Special and that was why I’m defective. She always threatened to return me. When I saw they wanted to leave me, I was surprised we didn’t go there. They lied we’d see the fish. I’ve always wanted to see the fish, but we didn’t. We came here.” I shut my mouth and went back to coloring, always saying too much, especially when I was nervous. I never knew what to do when people were around.

  Alone was better. Alone was safer.

  Except I was really all alone now. Not even where I could get cereal or have a bed or anything else I had at home. Tears landed on the pages, and I flinched, never crying no matter how bad things got. I was a kid, and I had parents that would handle the big stuff.

  Except I didn’t anymore. They’d left me, and I had no one. I had no idea what happened next.

  “You’re going to be okay, Sera,” Daniel whispered, moving around the table and rubbing my shoulder. I saw he was lying. He didn’t believe that for one second. He thought I was special, different.

  And that the system would eat me alive.

  I colored while he did adult things. I didn’t talk to anyone else in the office, sad in a way I hadn’t been before. No matter how mad my parents had gotten, no matter how much trouble I was ever in, I’d known what came next. I’d known what to do next.

  I had no clue now, and I was alone among too much scary. I stopped being a kid that day, no matter my age.

  I was placed in a group home, something adults told me was temporary. I didn’t care. I didn’t want a family ever again.

  I didn’t want to be hurt when they left me.

  Months went by, and one day a couple came by. They had blonde hair and blue eyes like mine, but we weren’t related… Except they wanted me to pretend we were. That much I understood. An “illegitimate daughter” was what they called me after they took me out of the home.

  “We understand this is confusing,” the man, Simon, said gently. “And I understand lying is bad, but it’s a white lie. A lie to help my father. He wants to meet his grandchild before he dies. Isn’t that something you want to help us with?”

  But he was lying. I could see it when he got frustrated. I didn’t get much from them like I could from some, but he was very angry a lot. This had nothing to do with his father and everything to do with money.

  “What happens after?” I asked, unsure of what to do. The group home wasn’t bad, but kids who got sent back were treated differently, as if broken. As if it was their fault this time. They were put into the system because of bad parents, but if they got sent back after going to what the people in charge declared a “good” home, it was because of a bad kid.

  “What is it you want?” he countered, giving me a curious look. I doubted he had many conversations with five, almost six-year-olds.

  “Better school,” I blurted; that was all I really wanted. “My tests are high, and so is my reading. They ignore me, and I want to learn more. I heard there are schools that will let kids skip grades, give extra classes. I want that.”

  “She might actually be your bastard child,” the woman drawled, rolling her eyes at me. “She’s willing to make deals fast.”

  “Shut it, Tammy. We wouldn’t be in this position if you would have a child already,” he snapped, ignoring the way his words hurt her. He studied me closely then nodded. “Okay, if that’s what you want, fine, I promise to get you in a better school.”

  It was my turn to study him. I shook my head. “You could put me in a better school and then send me back. Kids who get sent back are ignored as defective.”

  “We could just send you back anyways,” he threatened.

  No, he wouldn’t. “None of the other kids had blonde hair and blue eyes. If you take me right back, they won’t let you have another from another home.”

  “She’s right,” Tammy mumbled to him. “And smart. Let’s take the smart kid and just do it. Give her a room, buy her books—send her to boarding school even. What does it matter if it makes your father happy?”

  That last part was code for “get the money.” I was al
most six, not a complete moron.

  “Fine, you have yourself a deal, Seraphine,” he promised, extending his hand. “We’ll send you to the best school you get into on your own. I won’t buy your way in or pay for college, but if you’re as smart as you’re acting, that shouldn’t be a problem.”

  I took his hand, happy at the promise… Except he was lying. He was lying through his teeth. I dropped his hand, and I felt my eyes water. “You’re lying. You’re planning to send me to a bad kids school after you get what you want. I’m not a bad kid.”

  His eyes went bug wide. “How did you know that?”

  I flinched. I’d said too much.

  “It’s written all over your face,” Tammy sighed. “Seriously, Seraphine, I promise you can go to whatever school, as I get half the money should he ever divorce me.” She shot him a nasty look. “You could do worse for an illegitimate daughter than a five year old we’re having a real conversation with. They showed us her school stuff. She’s five years ahead. She shouldn’t even be in first grade already, but her parents lied and got her in early. Take the deal.”

  “Fine, yes, fine,” Simon agreed, and this time when I took his hand, it was for real. Honestly, he was a bit too interested in me because he didn’t think it had been written all over his face.

  I didn’t care as long as I got a school that didn’t bore me every day because kids still couldn’t spell their names even.

  They showed me my new home and where they would make my room. Tammy took me shopping for blue dresses that showed off how blonde my hair was and eyes that were the same color as theirs.

  “He demands we come for lunch,” Simon hissed at Tammy when I got up after sleeping over for one night. “He wants to see her right away.”

  “She’s not ready. Did you tell him that we just found her?” she argued. “How hard this all is on her?”

  “Yeah, he said bring her now or never because he’s not buying any of it. We can’t say no, and if she were really my daughter found, introducing her to my parents wouldn’t be that odd of a thing.”

  And with that, I was fretted over for about an hour before we left. They lectured me the whole way there, what to say, what to do.