Found By You (The Spring Rose Bay Series Book 1)

by K. L. Jessop

  Megan: Morning you sexy beast…I mean Marcus. Please tell Amelia it’s rude to not answer my calls, I’m only her best friend!

  Me: She said sex is more important than your calls.

  I teased with my reply.

  Megan: Like fuck she did, I’m irresistible. Whatever your plans are for today change them. Everyone is hitting the beach for the boat race and that’s where you’ll be heading too.

  “Megan’s just text, everyone’s meeting up on the beach later. You feel up to it?”

  “Will there be cheeseburgers?” she yawns, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

  “There will.”

  “Then I’m up for it.”

  Me: Meet you there.

  ***

  “Now this is why I come home earlier than planned. Who wants paperwork when you can have sweaty tanned men in Speedos to ogle over?”

  “Mum, please, I may be a grown man but I’m still your son, hearing you say shit like that is creepy.”

  “I’m only saying aloud what the other ladies are thinking, isn’t that right girls?”

  Amelia says nothing just giggles; Megan however is looking over the top of her shades towards a rather toned man fixing his boat trailer as she bites down on the straw to her coke. “Megan, do you know him?”

  “No, but whatever he’s fixing, mine just broke.”

  I shake my head amused as the women that’s within my company cackle at her sassiness.

  Like every year since I were a young boy holiday weekend in Spring Rose was dedicated to yearly boat races, surfing competitions, BBQ’s and music blasting out across the bay. Regulars put their daily chores aside to hit the water and holiday makers drank in the atmosphere. The whole town was buzzing and looking forward to the day ahead. Even Andrew graced us with his presence.

  “How are my blue-eyed girls?” Lucas shouts making his way over to the group shirtless and causing every woman’s eyes on the beach including my mother’s to pop open. His physique was thick, tanned and had abs like a washboard. Tribal tattoos down his arms and shades that reflected the whole beach in the lenses. “Ginger Spice, how was the head this morning?” He asks, planting a kiss on her cheek followed by Megan’s.

  “A little sore but better once Marcus made me breakfast, and I’ve just had a cheeseburger. I’m officially hangover free.”

  “Good to hear. Did she have you making her Chocolate spread on toast, Marcus?”

  “She did yes, although it was more spread than toast.” I hand him a beer and sit down beside Amelia, helping her rub in her sun lotion on her leg.

  “Chocolate spread is awesome, even better with strawberries on top. I never tried it till I become friends with those two.” Amelia replies, nodding her head toward Lucas and Megan and starts rubbing the lotion on her other leg.

  “As kids, Megan and I use to fight over who licked the jar clean when at the end.”

  “I’ve not had chocolate spread in years,” Mum adds. “The things you could do with that as well as have it with food.”

  “Mum!”

  “What? I’m just stating a fact dear. You know one time me and your father were-”

  “Please, enough already.” The group broke into laughter at my mother’s dirty talk, and I needed her to stop as the intrusion of unforeseen images flashed in my mind.

  “Oh, Marcus, you’re so easy to wind up. Come on girls; let’s go find some hot guys that need their lotion rubbing in.” She gets up placing her oversized sun hat on her head as Megan strips out her dress to just her bikini, clocking Amelia watching Megan’s every move as she runs her eyes over her body. I know what she’s thinking, it doesn’t take a lot to realise she’s the only one on this beach that has her midsection covered. She wants to be free just like every other woman and the only time she doesn’t feel she has to hide is at a beach that I own and no other person steps foot on it.

  “I’ll see you in a bit.” She kisses me before they make their way down the beach, laughing at my mother who’s currently trying to gain every man’s attention in any way she can.

  “Dude, I wish my mother was like yours.” Lucas chuckles.

  “You won’t be saying that when she’s half way through the Brandy bottle.”

  “I’m surprised she’s not yet been arrested for indecent exposure.” Andrew replies pulling off his shirt and heading down to the water leaving Lucas and I with all the belongings.

  “She sounds like my sister, only older. Has Megan gained a reputation here yet?”

  “You bet, she’s the dancing queen. She’s a great girl, her and Amelia are inseparable.”

  “Ugh, tell me about it.” He laughs, looking down to where the girls are kicking water at Andrew. “Look I just want to say that whatever you’re doing with Amelia, keep doing it. I’ve not seen her this happy in years. She’s been through some shit in her past, which I know you’re aware of. I can’t lie, I hated the thought of her with someone when Megan said you were seeing her, but she’s happy. But I’m warning you, Marcus, you fuck this up, I swear to god I will hunt you down and burn off your balls.”

  I knew I’d get some kind of warning from Lucas given the fact he and Amelia are so close, but in all honesty I was imagining being push against the wall by the scruff of my shirt and my balls squeezed in his hand. Even though there was a slight aggression behind his tone it was relatively friendly.

  “I had a similar threat from your sister, is there some kind of Simmons ritual?”

  He chuckles. “I taught my sister well. Anyone hurts either of them they won’t know what’s hit them. I’m like the Tasmanian devil when it comes to my girls.”

  I had the upmost respect for Lucas and everything he’s done for Amelia; I had no intention of hurting her. “You have my word. For both your girls.”

  “Good because I’d hate to kick your ass. Now what’s life like here, I’m planning on leaving L.A and heading back. Please tell me the surf is just as good in the winter.”

  “It’s better. And if you need a place to stay, I’m your guy.”

  ***

  The beach was swimming with people all day, kids ran around covered in sand as their ice creams dripped down their arms whilst the adults played beach sports and enjoyed the sun once the races and competitions had taken place. Hundreds of local men and women took to the water in their choice of sport and showed the gathered crowd actually why they should be in there. Drinking in the adrenaline from the roar that chanted and cheered.

  It was just after sunset and there were still people and holidaymakers on the beach. The music coming from Rock Waves Diner was blasting out across the sand and the lanterns placed around the groups set off a warm glow. Megan and Lucas had gone to get us all pizza whilst Mum sat deep in conversation with Andrew.

  “I’ve had fun today; everyone gets on so well, it’s refreshing.” Amelia says as I hold her close, dancing to the music.

  “It’s been great; surprisingly my mother hasn’t been too bad either.”

  “Your mother is amazing,” she chuckles, “I feel like I’ve known her for years and can tell her anything,”

  “She’s always had that effect on people, growing up as a kid all our friends use to go to her with their problems rather than their own mother.”

  “I can see why.”

  We fall in our comfortable silence as we dance, taking in the words to the song that made me think of the woman I’m holding. It represented love like a flower-a rose and the person being the seed that needed to learn how to grow and acknowledge that love can be painful and can leave you feeling hurt and vulnerable. But the breathtaking moments you might miss out on if you never take a chance, and encourages you to always remain optimistic.

  “This is nice, Marcus.”

  “Dancing or holding me?”

  “Both,” she sighs, running her arms high up my back. “I like it when you’re close to me.” If Amelia was a kind of woman that played a man and guilt tripped him into staying she was saying all the right words. But she wasn
’t like that, she only gave so much away and when she gave something it rolled off her tongue with ease and had no intention behind it. Or it could be because I was already making plans on staying, after talking to mum the other day and Amelia saying last night she didn’t want me to leave and the fact I love her, my mind was made up. London isn’t that far to commute and I do most of my work via computer anyway. It’s a done deal.

  “Thank you, baby.”

  “For what?” she questions, looking up at me with a smile.

  “For making this the best summer I’ve had in years.” Her eyes turn sad, the corner on her mouth ticks up to a smile but quickly disappears.

  “What will happen?” she whispers. “What will happen when you leave?”

  I tuck her hair behind her ear and cup her face looking deep into her eyes. Worry and confusion coating her beautiful blues with the uncertainty of what’s happening between us “I’m not going anywhere just yet baby.” I place my lips to hers, coaxing them open to meet the tip of her tongue whilst pulling her close to absorb everything she gave while the world spins but we’re stood timeless in our embrace.

  I rest my head to hers. She never questioned what I said but I knew there were questions on the tip of her tongue, her eyes told me as I focused on them. The air that charged between us had changed. It ran deeper-stronger. I felt it. I knew she felt it. No words were needed as her single touch alone roared through me. I’m lost in her, I can’t breathe without her. Her eyes are my light that shine deep into my soul.

  “I love you, Amelia.”

  Like ice creeping its way up a living being she froze, her desire filled eyes turned with fear like I’d said the worst thing in the world and I swear I could hear her heart pounding hard against her chest. Her silence was deafening and the longer it went on the more it crushed me. She steps back and goes to speak but no words leave her lips, her eyes sparkle against the light with tears, her neck begins to dust pink with her panic and I can see the walls I broke starting to work their way back up. I know she’s afraid, but I also know she can’t deny her feelings. I can’t love her as much as I do and know she doesn’t not feel the same. She has to feel the same.

  She retreats and I step forward, taking her arm to keep her from bolting. “Don’t run from me.”

  “Let me go, Marcus.” She pleads as a tear rolls down her cheek. “I can’t do this.”

  “Amelia, wait.”

  “Please let me go.”

  As soon as I release her she fled, sprinting across the beach and pushing her way through the crowd as I shout her to stop, but she never did. She just kept on running.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Amelia

  I had no choice but to run.

  I saw my eyes turn fearful in the reflection of his hazels as everything that’s happened between us flashed like a high speed train passing through the light of the underground. The final fragments of darkness released to sail away, letting only the vibrant glow back in that’s fought its way for freedom for so long. He reached me, chose me, revived me, and cherished me. Everything seems possible when I’m with him. He’s everything I never knew I needed. But love changes everything. What he said changes everything. His words have the power behind them that can either hurt me or heal, and it’s the unknown I fear the most.

  I’m afraid to love, most of all I’m afraid to be loved. I was loved once or so I believed and it was nothing more than a nightmare of sour lies and burning pain. That’s all I see love to be. All I’ve known it to be. A bubble of protection that grew stronger around me made me feel safe, yet the same bubble can be destroyed just as fast as it was built.

  I’m scared to love, but more afraid to walk away because I know Marcus is different, he’s proved this already. There’s no better feeling then when someone appreciates everything about you that someone else took for granted and he does that. Marcus does that and it scares me. The fear is choking me from the inside as it leaves my mind a web of unanswered questions and scars which are still healing. I can’t let my guard down and fall into that trap again.

  Only now I’m more confused than ever when I find myself outside his house. I had no intention of coming here, I was letting my feet carry me to my place as I sprinted barefoot along the pavement but I ended up here. My chest burns with the pressure that conceals my emotions, my head hurts with the uncertainty and my gut twists with regret for leaving him stood there after hearing his declaration. A declaration I wanted but needed not to hear.

  I slide my back down the door as my exhausted body greets the ground, cuddling my knees I bury my face and let the tears cascade from my eyes. Why did he have to say those words? Why am I here? What the fuck is happening to me? I don’t know who I am anymore but I like the person he’s making me become.

  My sixth sense told me he was close, the instant feeling of relief funnelled through my body like it always had when he was near, but when I looked up that soon was replaced with something else, something stronger. He stood at the end of his driveway watching over me like an Angel, holding my sandals by the hooks of his fingers. There is no denying my feelings for this man, when I see him I come alive. He’s brought me back to life. He’s strong, trusting, and beautiful. He’s even patient with my anxieties and shitty ways in life. But I terrified to speak the words he longs to hear.

  “I don’t know why I came here.” I sob.

  “You came here because it’s where you want to be, it’s where your heart knows it belongs.” He doesn’t come to me he just stays at the far end of the driveway and knelt down to my level as his voice was coated in serenity.

  “What if I don’t know where I belong? What if I don’t know anything anymore?”

  “You know more then you give yourself credit for, you just need to not think, over thinking can course you more confusion and negativity. You just need feel, Amelia. Tell me how you feel.”

  I wasn’t supposed to feel. I wasn’t supposed to trust. Fear and solitude was all I had. All I was used to. Now I’m suffocating with those feelings and the ones I have for Marcus. He said he would fix me, but in the reality of it he’s only breaking me more. My guard has fallen, my heart has been put back on the line and I need to gain back my control.

  I focus on my sandals in his hand, too frightened to look as him. “I don’t feel anything.”

  “You know that’s not true. You feel, Amelia, and that’s why you’re scared. When you smile you feel it. When I kiss you, you feel it.”

  “Don’t.” I murmur.

  “When you’re with me you feel it.” I wanted him to stop because everything he was saying was true, everything I do with him I’ve felt right from when he first took my hand in Rubies. The flutters in my heart when his lips are on mine, the imprints of his touch that last for days. I felt every goddamn thing that this man does to me and I feel sick because that last part of me that I was desperate to let go of and feel what I’ve craved all this time wouldn’t fucking let me. Love is for the lucky and the strong. I’m neither of those.

  “When I hold you, you feel it.”

  “Stop, Marcus.” My anger’s tight in my chest and bursting to come out the more he speaks. I want him, I didn’t want him. I love him; I hate him for making me love him.

  “When we make love, Amelia, you feel it.”

  “Stop saying that!” I stand as my rage now leaves my body in yelled sobs. “I’ve spent time with you. Let my guard down for you. Told my history to you. Everything I’ve done it’s been for you. What else do you want from me, Marcus?! I have nothing left to give you!”

  “Give me your heart!” He begs, pain now clouding his face as he takes a step forward. His eyes desperate to save me from the hell that’s choking me as my body falls heavy to fight the never ending battle between torture and love. “I want you to let me take care of you. Be with you. Love you. And I know you want the same.”

  “No.”

  “Yes, Amelia. You want it.”

  My eyes closed at the unwanted rawness th
ose words brought to my heart. Everything he said I believed and wanted more than anything but my heart and mind felt as though they were at war over the authenticity of what was really happening between us.

  I sniffed back the new tears that threaten and force my voice to be direct, spitting out the words that shredded my insides as I spoke them. “You don’t love me, Marcus, and I. Don’t. Feel. The. Same.”

  “We both know that that’s not true.” He looks away from me; the deep sigh he gave proved his patients was slipping. “Jesus Christ, Amelia, what are you so afraid of?”

  “EVERYTHING!” I yell, this time finally losing it. He’s now closer and despite my yelling he remains in control, which pissed me off more as I’m not use to that. The last time I yelled at a man I got a fist in my face so maybe my uncontrolled yelling was a test to see his reaction, see how far I needed to push him. Only his test on me of remaining composed never faltered, so I continued to yell.

  “I’m frightened of giving my heart that’s still learning to recover. I’m frightened because in my heart I know how I feel and know what I want, but that confuses me because I’ve never felt like this before. I’m frightened of reliving history, Marcus, because love is also rejection and betrayal. It’s having bottles and glasses thrown at you because in his eyes I dressed like a slut. It’s being beaten when you say the wrong things!” I step back as he moves closer, tears now free falling my cheeks and I make no attempt to wipe them in the hope that each demon I yell will run free like I’ve wanted them to for so long. “Love is being held down while he fucks his anger out of you. Ripped apart as your body is tortured. It’s when your heart and soul feels like a razor is making it bleed and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s what love is. That’s all I know, Marcus, and I don’t deserve the kind of love you want to give me.” I cry.

  In two strides I’m pushed against the door. His eyes look just as broken as my own anguish; the hurt that runs through his hazels is not from me it’s for me. He doesn’t just see my pain he feels it. Cupping my wet face his hands instantly soothe my soul and battered heart, his eyes soaking up every last fragment of my anxieties that I began losing control of when I ran from him. It’s not just his arms that protect me, it’s his whole being.