A Reason To Live (Reason #3)

by CP Smith

  Peeling his eyes from Max, Shane looked at Mia. He watched her face soften when Max caught her attention and he instantly envied him. He’d spent the last year flirting with the woman for God only knows what reason. Max thought it was so he’d beat the shit out of him, but Shane didn’t have a clue about anything at this point. Maybe he wanted to piss Max off because he had what Shane wanted; a reason to live.

  Jake entered the bar as he and Max stood in a silent battle of wills and made his way toward them. When he was standing between Shane and Max, he turned his head and scanned the bar.

  “Is Sage here?” he asked.

  Max looked at Shane and watched his hand curl into a fist, so he carefully answered, “Nope.”

  “Damn,” Jake grumbled, then smirked and dug his own grave. “I was hoping I could convince her to take a ride up the Grizzly Pointe, then maybe up to the hot springs.”

  Shane’s stool hit the floor with a thud as he stood and faced Jake. Max stepped between the two men and prayed to God Shane reined in his temper.

  “Is there a problem?” Jake asked.

  “Yeah,” Shane jeered. “Stay the fuck away from Sage.”

  Jake jerked his head to the side and eyed Shane. “You got a claim on her?”

  “You need to leave,” Max ordered, laying a hand on Jake’s arm, trying to diffuse the situation.

  “Why?”

  “Stay. Away. From. Sage,” Shane growled, taking a step forward.

  Jake looked Shane over from head to toe, then rose a single cocky brow. “Or what, big guy?”

  Shane lunged and it was over.

  He drew back his fist, slammed it into the side of Jake’s temple, and he was out for the count before Max could stop him.

  Jake never saw the punch coming.

  The bar grew quiet when Jake hit the floor, all attention focused on Shane as he leaned over Jake and seethed, “Or else.”

  Max took hold of his arm and pulled him back, shoving him toward the bar.

  “Jesus, Shane. You just laid out a good friend.”

  Shane kept his eye trained on Jake, his jaw ticking as he ground his teeth, then he looked up and froze.

  “Are you ready to get your shit together yet?” Max thundered.

  Kneeling to check Jake, Max noted a welt had already begun to form. The power behind Shane’s punch was evident, and Max figured the rage swirling through his veins would burn him out eventually if something didn’t change. He glanced at Mia and saw a tear run down her cheek. Then he looked to his mother. Her face had paled, and her eyes were fraught with concern, reflecting sorrow he hadn’t seen in years.

  “I love you like a brother, Shane,” Max stated, his voice hoarse with anger and emotion. “So hear me when I say, figure it out and figure it out soon. You can’t live like this, and it hurts like hell to watch.”

  Shane didn’t respond to Max; his attention was directed over his shoulder toward the door. Max noted his eyes were glossy with booze and anger, and the hard line of his jaw said he was holding on by a thread. Turning his head, Max found what had captured Shane’s attention.

  Sage stood in the doorway.

  Dressed in a low-cut, green sweater that hugged her curves, her eyes were round in surprise as she stared back at Shane. She’d worn her mane of auburn hair down for the first time since Max had met her, and the effect, along with the tight sweater, would have brought any man not in love with his wife to his knees.

  He turned back to Shane to gauge his reaction and found him breathing fast, his hands curled around the edge of the bar, the knuckles white as he watched Sage. When she moved toward him, Shane jerked back as if he’d been struck. Reaching over the bar, he snagged his keys and bit out, “I’ve had enough torture for one day.”

  Max would have stopped him if his home weren’t a straight shot down the road from the bar. That and the fact Shane was more angry than drunk. So he let him go. There was no talking to him in that condition.

  Max watched as Shane moved past Sage without looking at her. Punching the door open with his fist, Shane disappeared into the night as Max watched with a heavy heart. He turned to Sage when the door slammed shut. He couldn’t help Shane. He hoped like hell she could.

  Six

  Operation Make Shane Jealous

  When the door slammed hard behind Shane, alarm streaked down my spine, and I looked at Maxine for guidance. How was I supposed to fight for him if he refused to be in my presence? Maxine looked off balance as she stared down at Jake, and my confidence we could help Shane began to weaken.

  Turning my head to where Jake lay on the floor, I watched him shake his head as he tried to stand. I’d arrived in time to hear Shane tell Jake to stay away from me, and then watched helplessly as he punched Jake. I didn’t know what transpired before I walked in, but the look on his face when he caught me standing in the door spoke of anger, maybe even rage, but certainly not longing for me.

  “I’m so sorry, Jake,” I said when he finally found his feet.

  A slow grin pulled across his mouth as he rubbed his jaw. “I knew when I signed on for Operation Make Shane Jealous, he might retaliate. It was worth it, though, just to see his face when I said I wanted to take you up to the hot springs . . . he wanted to murder me.”

  I blinked several times in confusion, then asked, “Operation what?”

  He turned his head toward Maxine, and her eyes rounded innocently.

  “Christ,” Max grumbled, looking back and forth between Jake and Maxine. “You’re playing one of your games, aren’t you?”

  My attention shot to Maxine and I scowled. “You said no games.”

  “And I meant it,” she defended, crossing her arms. “However, if someone else wants to get involved, that’s entirely different.”

  “But he punched Jake,” I pointed out the obvious, and she lowered her eyes. It was clear she didn’t expect that to happen.

  “He hasn’t punched Chester yet,” Jake put in. “If he lets loose on him, you know he’s hit rock bottom. They’ve been friends since childhood.”

  The bar grew silent and all eyes turned to Maxine. An electric current coiled tightly in the air right before Max erupted. “You pulled Chester into this shit?” Max roared. “Jesus, Maxine. You don’t push a man like Shane this way.”

  “He volunteered,” Maxine argued.

  “The hell he did,” Max shouted.

  Maxine rolled her eyes, exasperation written all over her face. “Fine.” She sighed. “He was coerced by Martha. But he saw the righteousness of the plan, Maximilian.”

  “It’s like talking to a brick wall,” Max grit out, rubbing his hand across his face. “You can’t force this shit and you know it. And playing his friends against him will only make it worse. You know Shane keeps a tight hold on his control and you’re pushing him to lose it. Have you lost your mind?”

  Mia stepped up and raised her hand to his face, righteous indignation playing across her features.

  “I’m sorry, but did you just say ‘you can’t force this shit’? Aren’t you the same man who ordered me to stay in Trails End when I told you I wanted to leave?”

  “This isn’t the same thing,” Max argued.

  “Why? Because you say so?” she asked sarcastically.

  “Babe,” was Max’s only reply as if that was all that needed to be said.

  Mia rolled her eyes and then turned to me. “Thor over there has selective memory. He insisted I stay. Said, While you’re here, we're gonna ride this until we fall off battered and bruised or hold on tight ‘cause it’s what we both want.”

  “You’re wearin’ my ring, aren’t you?” Max replied arrogantly, crossing his arms.

  “Yes, god of thunder, but you’re missing the point. I wanted you from the moment I saw you, but I still would have left. It took you intervening for me to pull my head out of my ass.”

  “Now hold on just a damn minute,” Maxine scoffed. “If my memory serves, and it usually does, you did leave. In fact, you both had sticks up
your asses until I intervened.”

  Max ignored his mother’s outburst. He’d grown quiet when Mia said she wanted him the moment she saw him, and his expression had turned smoldering.

  Mia didn’t miss it either. She raised her hand to block the view. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll have to add Hungry Max to the list.” I didn’t know what list she was talking about, but Max grinned and winked. “All I’m saying is,” Mia continued, “I didn’t know what was best for me until you forced me to open my eyes. And that’s all your mother was doing.”

  “Selective memory, both of you,” Maxine jumped in. “He wouldn’t have helped you see the light if I hadn’t stepped in and forced him to get on a plane and claim you. And you, you left with your panties in a wad without fighting for what you wanted.”

  Mia swung her head toward Max and narrowed her eyes.

  “Is this true?”

  “He’s a man, of course it’s true,” Maxine sighed.

  “We’ll talk about it later.” Max glowered at his mother.

  “You can bet your sweet lumberjack ass we’ll talk about it later,” Mia answered between her teeth.

  “Children,” Maxine shouted. Mia turned to her and crossed their arms.

  If I weren’t so worried about Shane, I would have popped some popcorn and settled in for the show. These three were hilarious.

  “Are you done?” Max looked at Mia, and she stuck out her tongue.

  “You’ll be puttin’ that to good use later,” Max gruffed.

  “Never a dull moment in the Hunter home,” Maxine sighed. ”But, as you can see, Maximilian,” she waved her arm toward Mia, “your mother isn’t so dumb after all. You can thank my interference for being with the love of your life.”

  Max stared blankly at Maxine for a moment then hung his head. He muttered, “Fuck,” then walked to her and kissed her forehead.

  “You’re a pain in my ass.”

  “You love me,” she chided.

  “Lord only knows why. Now stop interferin’ with Shane.”

  “Scouts honor,” Maxine answered, cupping her son’s cheeks. “Sage has his attention now; she can take it from here.”

  “He may never change his mind,” Max said, turning his attention toward me. “Shane’s stubborn to the core. When he gets an idea in his head, that’s it, unless you can convince him otherwise.”

  “I know, but I have to try. For his sake.”

  “So what’s your next move?”

  I turned and looked at the door, biting my lip as I decided how to proceed.

  “I’ve turned his world upside down since I arrived and accused him of something that wasn’t true. I think it’s time I made up for a few things.”

  ***

  Sitting on his porch with a bottle of Jack, Shane would have given anything for the sun to set. His mood was black and he needed the dark. He continued to drink, determined he would sleep that night without images of smoldering wreckage. Unfortunately, as the bottle emptied, it wasn’t a burnt-out wreckage he saw, but pale-green eyes instead.

  Tilting the bottle back, he drank deep and tried to focus on the burn, the way his mind clouded as his blood warmed.

  You could have breathed me in, even when it hurts to breathe, and I would have helped you heal.

  He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the memory, but it wouldn’t stop.

  That’s what I would have given to you if you’d been brave enough to try.

  “Brave enough to try?” He chuckled at the irony.

  Standing suddenly, he threw the bottle against a tree in his yard and watched as the amber liquid seeped into the soil. “Keeping you at arm’s length is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life!” he shouted.

  Fireworks from the carnival erupted in the distance, and Shane flinched. He curled his hands into fists as he tried to block out the sound and the memory it evocated. But Sloan’s face appeared before him no matter how hard he attempted to push it out. Her lifeless eyes, eyes shaped like Sage’s, stared back at him, their light gone from this world as she lay tangled inside the wreckage. They haunted him.

  Their similarity was one of the reasons he couldn’t look directly at Sage. Even though the shade of their eyes was different, she and her sister shared the same cat eye shape. He already had nightmares about Sloan’s lifeless eyes; he didn’t need them during the day.

  Turning for the door, determined to fall into bed and end this day, he stopped and turned when he heard a vehicle pulling into his drive. Rising to his full height when he saw who was driving, he planted his feet shoulder-width apart to steady himself, to prepare for the battle.

  Sage climbed out of her Jeep slowly, tugging at her sweater so her cleavage was less revealing, but it only brought unneeded attention to her ample breasts. She stepped hesitantly toward him, fiddling with her hair as she approached, and he wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

  “I didn’t come here to argue with you,” she explained when she reached the stairs. “There’s been enough arguing to last a lifetime.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “To say I’m sorry.”

  Sage climbed the steps, and he stood his ground, but the closer she came, the faster his heart raced.

  “I don’t want or need an apology from you,” Shane replied, fisting his hands to keep in control.

  “Well, you’re gonna get one whether you want one or not.”

  She was standing less than a foot from him, and he could smell her hair.

  “What the fuck do you wash your hair with?”

  “Pardon?”

  He shook his head to clear it.

  “Nothin’. Just say what you have to say, and then leave.”

  “All right.” Sage nodded. She looked around for a moment, fidgeting with the bottom of her sweater, then she licked her lips and began. “I was . . . I was unfair today. I accused you of being a coward and that’s not true. Not by a long shot. The truth is, I’m the coward, and I transferred it to you. I spent too many years afraid for one reason or another and didn’t fight hard enough because I was scared. I should have known better than anyone how you felt, but I ignored it, ignored what I knew to be true for my own selfish reasons. You blame yourself for Emma Jane’s death just as I blame myself for not protecting her. I haven’t moved past how weak I was, so it’s wrong of me to expect you to change how you feel just because I want you to.”

  “You weren’t at fault for what that bastard did. That’s the difference between you and me,” Shane bit out, “I was.”

  Her face paled when she realized he knew about her past abuse, and the urge to hold her was as basic an instinct as breathing. He resisted at first, but when a tear trailed down her face and she tried to wipe it away, Shane grumbled, “Fuck,” and reached out, pulling her to him. “That bastard shouldn’t have laid a hand on you,” he rumbled low, his hand coming up to cup her face.

  “How did you know?”

  “Chester told me,” he answered, wiping the tears away with his thumb as they trailed down her face.

  “I should have been stronger. Should have tried harder to find help.”

  Shane couldn’t pry his attention from her lips. The memory of the kiss they shared earlier replayed in his mind, and he found his head dipping closer to hers.

  “You were a kid, baby. It wasn’t your fault,” he answered, lowering his mouth even further. When she licked her lips, inviting him to taste, he whispered, “I’m no good for you, Sage,” then he brushed his mouth across hers. “You need to leave before I hurt you. You deserve a man who can give you everything. Who will make you his whole world.”

  “What if I don’t want to leave? What if I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give?”

  Raising his head, he scanned her face, looking for the lie. All he saw was the truth. His need for her was eclipsing his control, and he answered without thinking, “I can only offer you tonight.”

  Sage raised her hands to his face, running her fingers whisper-soft
across his cheeks.

  Jesus.

  It would kill him to let her go, but he had no choice. She deserved a man who wasn’t broken.

  “I’m tired of being alone; tired of being afraid. If one night is all you can offer, then I’ll take it.”

  Need, hot and wild, surged violently, and his blood rushed from his head to his cock. Shane stopped breathing until his lungs demanded he take one. Taking three deep breaths to stop his urge to claim her, hoping they’d both step back from the edge of their desire if he didn’t react, he lost the battle when she leaned forward and nipped his bottom lip.

  Hissing, Shane spun Sage around and pinned her against his door, raising her hands above her head. He pressed his face against the side of hers, cheek-to-cheek, and inhaled, memorizing her scent.

  “I can’t get you out of my head. I’ve tried, but I want you so fuckin’ much I’m burnin’ with the need to claim you.”

  Blindly reaching for the doorknob, afraid to lose their connection, he turned it, kicking the door open as he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He made his way to his bedroom and put a knee to the bed, dropping Sage on her back. Reaching over his head, he pulled the shirt from his body, never taking his attention off her. She sat up as he dropped his shirt and reached out, running her hands down his chest to his stomach, leaning in to brush her mouth across his nipple, and his head fell back. She lowered her mouth, trailing kisses as she burned her way further down his body, and he hissed.

  He knew deep down, he should stop. That what they were doing would only make it harder for them both, but he was lost in the feeling of her lips.

  Stepping back from her mouth, he ordered, “Strip for me then spread your legs.” Then he opened a drawer and pulled out a condom.

  She responded instantly, and his need soared higher as he sheathed his aching cock.

  When her breasts were finally on display, his mouth went dry. He’d spent the last three nights wondering if they were as soft as they looked, so he reached and cupped her. She was everything he thought she’d be and more.

  “You’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispered, dropping his jeans.