A Reason To Live (Reason #3)

by CP Smith

  “If he’s so successful, then why did Maxine say he needed to settle with a female?”

  “Bears don’t settle with one mate. Are you sure you heard her correctly?”

  “Yeah, I am. And considering her revelation last night about trying to make Shane jealous, I think I know what she was talking about,” I chuckled.

  “Speaking of Cowboy,” she mumbled, putting the binoculars to her eyes again, “he’s in a stomping mood today. Here, take a look for yourself,” she said, handing me the glasses.

  She pointed to a large grizzly about one hundred yards away, so I put the glasses to my eyes. He was huge with a dark brown coat that glistened in the sun. He kept putting his nose in the air and sniffing, then he’d lumber his massive legs, stomping them, as Mia put it, into the ground as he walked.

  “He’s huge,” I whispered. “Are you sure we’re far enough away? He looks angry.”

  “He’s always angry,” she answered. “He has a love-hate relationship with me and my team.”

  “You have a team?” I asked, dropping the binoculars and turning toward her.

  “Frank and Lucy come up every three months from Seattle. We’ve been on the receiving end of Cowboy’s anger. Shane has too. He cornered us in a truck and Max had to rescue us.”

  I looked back at the Jeep and shivered. There was no way it would keep Cowboy out.

  “If he charged us today, what would we do?”

  Mia pointed up to a tree behind us. There was a wooden platform built around the trunk like a tree house, with a ladder leading up to it. There was a portal to climb through that I hoped closed once you were inside.

  “Bears climb trees, don’t they?”

  “Black bears do more than grizzlies, but grizzlies can climb them, yes. Max designed the lookout so a bear could climb to it, but not over it. Grizzlies weigh too much to be able to climb horizontally far enough to get over the side.”

  I looked back at the intimidating bear and mumbled, “I’d love to see the view from up top.”

  Mia smiled, and then jumped off the hood. “Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour.”

  When we reached the ladder, Mia looked up then back at me and stepped aside. “You first. I’m better, but not cured. If I fall, I’ll take you with me.”

  The climb was event-free, thankfully, and when Mia cleared the opening, she closed it with a sturdy metal door.

  “There,” she said, jumping up and down on the door. “No bear is getting through.”

  The view from high above was breathtaking. I could see the river and two mountain peaks. However, the silence and peace surrounding me were better than any view.

  “Purple mountains majesty,” I mumbled as I stared at the snow-covered peak.

  Mia leaned on the railing and scanned the view as well, drinking in a deep breath. “I was a city girl ‘til I came here. Now I can’t see myself any place else.”

  “I could wake up to this view every day and be happy,” I agreed.

  “Then stay. Shane or not, stay premanently in Trails End. The county seat is an hour away, and I’m sure even kids in the wilds of Alaska need an advocate. That asshole the other night proves it. As for love, there are other great men here in town. You wouldn’t be lonely long with your looks. Not to mention, I’d love to have you here. The Barbie Twins are good people, but a little high-strung for my taste on a daily basis. It would be nice to have a friend here.”

  “I don’t think I’ve met the Barbie Twins.”

  “Well, that settles what we’re doing tonight. Can you sing?”

  “Can I sing?” I replied, thinking about the question. “I won’t win American Idol, but I can carry a tune.”

  “Excellent. Nothing better than a few drinks and karaoke to take your mind off your troubles. And considering Shane is there most nights, you’ll have a chance to speak with him in a relaxed setting. No pressure, just a bunch of friends hanging out.”

  “Sounds fun.”

  “It is. And I think right about now you need some fun,” she stated, smiling as she looked over the side of the roost. “Looks like the bears are heading down the river to fish. It doesn’t look like Max’s logging is bothering them. We might as well head to town and grab some lunch.”

  “Sounds good to me. I forgot to eat dinner last night,” I answered as she headed for the trap door.

  Mia leaned over and tugged, but it didn’t open. She tried to turn the lock, but it wouldn’t budge. “Shit. It’s stuck. I can’t open it.”

  “What do you mean you can’t open it?”

  “What do you think I mean?” Mia laughed then started patting her pockets. “I’ll call Jake and have him come and rescue us.”

  Her hands came up empty and she looked over the railing. “Dammit, I left my phone in the Jeep. Do you have yours?”

  I’d started searching my clothes the minute she looked for hers and came up empty as well. “In my backpack,” I groaned.

  “Did you send a text to Shane telling him where you were? If you did, he might come looking soon.”

  “No. I don’t want to play games. He knows I left because I needed space, so I’m not going to start lying now.”

  “Smart. But now we’re stuck.”

  I looked over the railing and figured it had to be a thirty-foot drop. Not getting out that way. When I turned around, I found Mia sitting on the floor.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I figure we have about three hours before Max comes looking. Might as well get comfortable.”

  “Are you sure he’ll come?”

  “As sure as the sun will light the sky for about twenty hours today. He checks in every few hours. When I don’t answer, he’ll assume the worst and come looking.”

  I dropped to the floor and stretched out my legs.

  “Just how much trouble have you caused?”

  Mia shrugged, then raised her hand and brought her thumb and forefinger almost together to indicate a tiny bit. Then her fingers slowly widened.

  “That much?”

  “I have a gift,” she grinned. “But Jenn, Max’s cousin Jack’s wife, has worse luck. She was attacked and almost killed by two men. Father and son, if you can believe it.”

  “Whoa.”

  “Exactly.”

  Mia was wrong. It didn’t take Max three hours to find us; it took him two. And when he arrived, Shane was in tow.

  We’d talked about everything under the sun and were lying on our backs searching the clouds for shapes when we heard an engine racing up the meadow. Before we could get to our feet to see who was there, doors slammed and two voices started shouting.

  “Mia?”

  “Sage?”

  “Up here,” Mia shouted then looked over the railing. “Hey, Mad Max. I thought it would take you longer to figure out I was in trouble.”

  “Jesus, woman,” Max growled. “I’m puttin’ a GPS on your ass.”

  I stood and looked over the railing, telling myself to act natural. No games, just be yourself. I looked at Max first and giggled. His hair looked like he’d been tugging on it. Poor man. After the stories I’d heard today, I understood him better.

  Then I looked at Shane and smiled. “Hey.”

  “You okay?” he asked with concern written on his face.

  “Not a scratch on either one of us. We came up here to look at the view and the trap door stuck. We left our phones in the Jeep so we couldn’t call for help.”

  “Probably rusted from the rain,” Max mumbled. “I’ll get the WD-40.”

  “Take your time, we’re not going anywhere,” Mia shouted.

  “Pain in my ass,” Max grumbled, stomping his way to the back of his truck. Mia turned and winked at me.

  “You totally piss him off on purpose,” I whispered, remembering what Maxine had said. Her smile widened.

  Max pulled the lubricant from the truck and tossed it to us. Mia sprayed the lock and low and behold, it opened. When she lifted the door, Shane shouted, “Mia first.”

/>   She snorted.

  “I guess everyone looks out for you and your disability,” I giggled.

  “I think it has more to do with me falling and taking you off the ladder than it does about my welfare.”

  I had to admit, I thought that as well, and my heart skipped a beat.

  Mia made her way down while I watched. Max stood at the bottom, his eyes wired as if he was ready for anything. Once at the bottom, he hauled her off the rungs of the ladder, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, giving him a deep kiss for his troubles.

  My smile fell as I watched how in love they were. I wanted that, desperately, and my vision clouded with emotion as I tried to look away. But Shane stepped into my view, holding out his hand before I could. There was something about the action—like he was reaching out for help—and I immediately turned and came down the ladder, his unspoken order directing me. When I’d climbed down far enough, I was surprised when he grabbed me by my waist. I allowed him to help me rather than arguing I could manage, and swore he whispered, “Good girl,” as he lowered me to the ground.

  He didn’t move away as I thought he would. His front was to my back, and I could feel the warmth emanating from his body. Images of the night before fought for attention as his chest rose and fell behind me. I could almost feel his hand at my throat, his breath on my skin, his hands holding me to him as he thrust inside me.

  His body grew taut, and I wondered if he remembered as well. I wanted to lean back into his chest or turn and wrap my arms around his waist, but I couldn’t. He would balk if I made a move toward intimacy, so I stepped forward, plastered on my best smile, and turned.

  “Thanks for the help.”

  “I told you as long as you were in danger, I’d keep you safe.”

  That you did, Shane Sherman. And while you’re keeping me safe, I’m gonna return the favor and heal your heart!

  “Well, if you’re on bodyguard duty tonight, then you better bring your earplugs. Mia has somehow convinced me to sing with her and the Barbie Twins.”

  Shane muttered, “Babe,” and I caught laughter in his expression.

  “Oh, yeah. Ears should be bleeding and the bar cleared out by nine at the latest.”

  “Thanks for the heads up,” he answered, but the laughter he held in check finally seeped out in the form of a smirk.

  “Whoa. You do know how to smile,” I teased.

  His lips twitched for a moment then he surprised me by murmuring, “Minx.”

  Oh. My. God. Maxine is right.

  By proving I’m strong, that I wasn’t crushed by last night, he, in turn, relaxed.

  “Are we doing lunch or what?” Mia called out.

  I turned and looked at her, grinning. “Absolutely, I’m starving.”

  “Let’s go then. We’ll find Joanne and Suzy while we’re in town and we can stop by the courthouse and look into what it would take for you to consult here.”

  “Here?” Shane questioned.

  I looked back at him and smiled. “Yeah. Mia has convinced me that Trails End is a great place to live, so I’m looking into moving here permanently.” I winked, then turned and headed for Mia’s Jeep before he could reply.

  As I climbed in, I waved good-bye to a stunned Shane and Max. When Mia climbed in, she was giggling.

  “God, the look on his face was priceless,” she said as she started her Jeep.

  “I wasn’t sure if it was fear, anger, or indigestion,” I answered, laughing as she drove off. I looked back as we headed for town and saw Max slap Shane on the shoulder then head to his truck.

  “Indigestion. Definitely,” Mia replied. “He saw his future flash before his eyes. With you in town permanently and him not claiming you, that means he has to watch you date.”

  ***

  Shane stood near the river’s edge and let the sun bake his skin. An eagle called out and he looked up. He watched it circle the blue sky until it was out of sight. He’d always done his best thinking alone on the mountain and he hoped it wouldn’t fail him now. Picking up a rock, he tossed it across the flowing water and watched it bounce and sink.

  Just like that rock, he was sinking fast.

  He closed his eyes and saw Jake laid out on the floor the night before. He’d fucked up with Jake and then went on to make another colossal error in judgment with Sage.

  He shouldn’t have slept with her.

  He couldn’t get her out of his head before he’d laid his hands on her. Now the images of her body and that sweet mouth of hers wouldn’t let him be. The memory of her soft whimpers as he tasted the contours of her body ran in a loop, keeping him in a constant state of arousal. And to make matters worse, the way she responded to being controlled by him made him want her even more. She was naturally submissive, unlike Mia, who would have butted heads with him. Sage fought it at times, probably didn’t understand she had a deep-seated need to hand over control to the right man. Just as he had a deep-seated need to control his environment.

  Dropping to his knees, Shane sat then lay back on the damp earth until all he saw was the sky. Then he shut his eyes.

  Sage is moving to Trails End permanently.

  “Christ.” Shane sighed.

  He’d told himself he only had to hold out until the stalker was caught and she left. That once she was back home, he’d be able to move past her and the guilt he held on to like a drowning man. Now, she would be in his face daily, reminding him of what he couldn’t have.

  “And someone like Jake won’t wait for her boxes to be unpacked before they try and get in there.” His back molars slammed shut at the thought. He could feel his fist colliding with the jaw of any man who laid a callused hand on her.

  The only thing stoppin’ you from g’tting' in your truck and claiming that woman is your own stubborn need to be right.

  “You’re wrong, Max. I don’t want to be right; I want to guard her heart. The only way to do that is to let her go.”

  The problem was, he wasn’t sure if he meant Sloan or Sage.

  The bushes behind him rustled and he sat up. Looking over his shoulder, he grinned when a three-hundred-pound cub lumbered into view.

  “I’m beginnin’ to think you have a homing device planted on me,” Shane sighed as Booboo lumbered toward him.

  The cub grunted as he sat down next to Shane then leaned in and ran his tongue across his face. A putrid smell wafted up and hit Shane directly in the nose.

  “What the hell have you been rolling in?”

  Shane stood quickly and backed up to escape the stink. Booboo rolled to his feet and barked out a call.

  “Get your fluffy ass in the water and wash the stench off,” Shane ordered, pointing at the river.

  When Booboo didn’t move, Shane sighed. “Perfect way to end my day. Bathin’ a fleabag.”

  Pulling off his boots and shirt, he waded out until the water was around his waist, grumbling, “Pain in my ass, that’s what you are,” as Booboo followed.

  He tried to get the bear to sit so he could attempt to wash him, but Booboo had a better idea. He raised his massive paw and batted at Shane until he fell sideways and disappeared under the water. Only then did the cub submerge himself in the ice-cold water.

  ***

  “He keeps looking at you,” Mia whispered in a sing-song voice.

  She was flipping through the pages of the songbook while I pretended not to stare at Shane. I wasn’t successful since he’d caught me twice.

  “That doesn’t mean anything,” I whispered back.

  “It does if he’s undressing you while doing it,” she sing-songed back.

  I started to sneak another peek at Shane, but Joanne and Suzy, better known as the Barbie Twins due to their large breasts, tight clothes, and big, bleach-blond hair, asked, “Who’s looking at her?”

  “No one,” I quickly answered.

  Mia had introduced me to both women that afternoon and she wasn’t kidding when she said they were exhausting. Suzy and Joanne had been super excited about singi
ng at the bar. So much so, they wanted to come up with matching outfits. Mia and I declined, of course. Big hair, boobs on display, and heels only a model could walk in was not my idea of fun.

  Not believing me for a second, Suzy and Joanne looked over their shoulders and caught Shane looking in our direction. When they turned back, they had an odd look on their faces.

  Joanne leaned in and locked eyes with me, mumbling, “Rumor has it you stayed all night at Shane’s house last night.”

  Mia coughed, Suzy howled in laughter, and I scowled.

  “Talk about barking up the wrong tree,” Suzy snorted.

  “Um, you’ve lost me?” I replied.

  “He’s gay, sugar. You’re wasting your time tryin’ to get him to switch teams.”

  Max walked up at that moment and looked around the table, asking, “Who’s gay?” as he leaned over and kissed his wife. It took one point five seconds for Mia and me to burst out laughing.

  “Shane is gay,” Suzy answered.

  Max froze as he rose from Mia’s lips. He looked dumbfounded. His mouth opened, closed, opened again, and then he turned and walked away.

  “Shane is gay?” Mia questioned. “Why on earth do you think he’s gay?”

  “Mia, that man hasn’t hit anything in this town since he got home. Of course he’s gay,” Suzy explained.

  I sobered quickly upon hearing that news. “He hasn’t? Not in the year since he returned home?”

  “Nope. Other than flirting with Mia as a distraction from the fact he’s gay, he shows no interest in women. But Suzy and I saw right through it.”

  I raised a brow to my friend, and she snorted. “He likes to flirt to piss Max off. Max said he did it hoping Max would beat the shit out of him. What I don’t get is why Shane would want Max to beat the shit out of him in the first place?’

  “Penance,” I sighed.

  “Penance? Lord, that man is stubborn,” she mumbled.

  “Yeah, but he’s making headway.”

  “Why does he need to do penance?” Suzy asked.

  “Not my story to tell,” I answered.

  Both women looked at me then back at Shane. “Is it like the monks do when they’ve committed a sin? You know, flogging themselves?” Joanne asked.