The Sect

by Lane, Courtney

  My jaw unhinged, staring at him in awe.

  “Are you wondering how I did that? I’m a magician…or maybe I’m just really talented with my tongue.” He closed his mouth again, making it disappear. “If you want it, come and get it.”

  I moved my arms to try to get away, but he was so strong, it only served to make my wrists burn from the pain of his harsh grip.

  He wrapped one massive hand around the back of my neck. I waved my arms around in protest, trying aimlessly to make him stop touching me. My fight did very little to discourage him as he sent me to my knees.

  Stomach down, he forced my upper half flat onto the bed. The more I writhed and struggled, the tighter his grip became. The pads of his fingers felt like acid against the delicate skin on my neck.

  His body neared me, towering over me, commanding me to be still. He spit and the key landed right beside my head. I stared at it with my palms clutching the mattress, unable to move. Knowing what he wanted, and that no matter what I said or didn’t say, he was going to take it from me, I gave up my fight. I choked back a sob, straining to keep quiet and avoid giving him any further encouragement.

  A throaty, short laugh resounded throughout the room. “Submit but don’t break so easily, princess. We just got started.” He crouched over my body, keeping a firm hand on the back of my neck. “The way you behave reflects on me, and I have very little patience for your bratty behavior. Do you understand what I expect of you, Keaton?”

  Silence served as my defiance because my body was too exhausted to continue the battle.

  The back of my dress was yanked up to my hips. I barely projected a “No” before a harsh and hard slap was heard when it hit the curve of my behind. It was brutal and forceful. The pain pervaded my body, forcing my mind to quiet.

  He leaned forward, his breath flittering around the fine hairs behind my ear. “Keaton,” he cooed. Grabbing my hair, he wrapped it around his fist and lifted it from the back of my neck. His soft, warm lips kissed the area between my shoulder blades.

  I clenched the fist, grabbing handfuls of the sheets, fighting against the warm tingling sensation between my thighs.

  His lips moved up, making me shudder when they reached the nape of my neck, kissing me there and allowing me to feel the tip of his tongue between his kiss. He exhaled sharply, increasing the tremors of my body. “I’m as talented with making a woman scream, cry, and beg for me while she’s squirming around in pain as I am with making her do those things through pleasure. I’ve got your number, princess. Fucking you, touching you—anything I do to your body that will make you come—will break you. We’ll keep that little secret between us. But…if you’d like to prevent me from testing out my theory, you should probably listen. Because if Reven wants me to hurt you to make you obedient, I’ll give into it. I’ll make sure every inch of your body is decorated in beautiful marks.

  “When you’re all tucked in bed, unable to fall asleep because you can’t close your eyes without thinking about me and getting wet, I’ll come into your room and make you fall on your fucking knees and beg me to fuck you. And when you get to that point, Keaton, I’ll make your pussy mine.” His hand cupped my ass and slid to my slit. I froze immediately as he discovered another secret. Ashamed and embarrassed, unfettered tears streamed down my cheeks. His lips brushed against the nape of my neck, kissing me there again.

  “Shh,” he whispered heatedly against my skin. Slipping one finger inside me, he allowed his teeth to sink into my flesh as he groaned. His fingers slowly entered and exited me, making me feel a foreign sensation. Something that made me clutch the sheets like my life depended on it and moan softly. My body felt like it was singing an impossible note.

  My wet sex made sloppy and noisy sounds as he rocked his fingers at a teasing pace inside me. Aroused and wanting more, my hips moved, rocking against the motion of his fingers. “You’re too easy, princess. You’re already dripping wet and ready to come for me.” After withdrawing his fingers, he pushed down on my spine; the bed to protested and bounced back, forcing me onto the floor when he released me.

  He retrieved the key from the bed and winked at me prior to making his way out of the bedroom.

  When the click of the door and the sound of the lock announced his departure, I finally exhaled.

  Feeling dirty and disgusting, I ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Instead of the hot water, I forced my body to sit in the cool, pelting stream, soaking my dress and making it cling to my body. I stood there, punishing myself until the heat he’d left on my skin began to cool. I didn’t feel compelled to wash the places he touched me, I just wanted the feeling he invoked to go away.

  Returning to the bedroom, freezing and dripping wet in my dress, I stared at the food that was slightly disarrayed on the tray. Sweeping the tears from my cheeks, I stepped closer, spying something next to the plate of filet mignon and scalloped potatoes that was difficult to miss. Reaching down, I fingered the brightest and most beautiful pair of red and yellow rosebuds, bound together by their stems.

  I sat gently back on the bed with my gaze cast to the door as if Noah still stood there. I churned through my thoughts, trying to make sense of the reason for the flowers and how he was able to get them out of season.

  Either Noah was picking my pocket, or someone else took pity on me, wanting to make sure I maintained my determination.

  I took the bottle of water from the tray and walked over to the window. Propping it atop the windowsill, I placed the stem of the flowers inside.

  As I stared at the true piece of beauty, the hope began to return. I would escape no matter what portion of myself I had to sacrifice to reach that escape. They could do whatever they wanted to do with my body. My mind had detached itself from it a long time ago. They would never dissolve my spirit or devour my mind. Noah knew my secret and it was only a matter of time before he used it. If I was to escape, I had to do it correctly and make sure I would never be caught.

  THE PAST

  I’d spent weeks on the street and training myself not to speak, even when spoken to. I understood the scope of what Jeff tried to teach me when I had a near miss with a drunken lunatic who groped me. Jeff’s military training came in handy and while I wanted to stop him, I didn’t; I knew better. The look in his eyes was that of a predator, focused on his prey and nothing would stop him. His restraint made sure neither of us wound up in jail. Since that night, I followed everything Jeff told me to do. It was just as important to his survival as it was to mine.

  “Him.” From across the park bench, he pointed his chin to a man sitting alone with a sandwich and tablet in his lap.

  Sighing, I shifted my position to stand.

  Jeff waved his hand at me, telling me to wait.

  I fidgeted and rocked on my heels as if I had to urinate.

  “What’s wrong with you, mute?” He looked over at me, examining me as if he was trying to find something wrong. “Go behind the tree.”

  I shook my head, held my hands up in the air with a shrug, and pointed my gaze to the man.

  “Why him, huh? I guess I can tell ya.” He fingered the dirty toothpick in his mouth and threw his arm back behind the backrest. The gesture usually inundated my nose with his revolting scent. Eventually, I became accustomed to his smell. The reason pointed to the fact I probably smelled as bad as he did. Cleanliness was important to prevent infection, but not a necessity. We cleaned when we could in the public bathrooms of the Metro Station, fountains, or at water pumps.

  “His eyes,” Jeff finally spoke. “Thing about people around here, they have everything. Because they have everything, they can’t see us. They don’t want to see us. ‘Cause they can go home to their oversized houses and expensive cars, they can afford not to see us. Hell, and they wonder why their lives are so empty. Some people wonder why the rich can be so unhappy. I don’t. I know the secret. You see me here. You think I’m depressed? Hell no. This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my durn life.

  “I
know you don’t want to do this, mute. But see my buddy over there…” He pointed to the man under a tree. His hat was turned upside down as he held a sign: ‘Homeless Vet. Please help.’ “That man hasn’t made much of a dollar all week, but you know what? I go over there right now and tell him I’m hungry, he’ll give me his last fifty cents. That is happiness, mute, because that’s love.”

  He scowled at the sight of the wells of moisture threatening to trickle down my cheeks. “Don’t get all teary-eyed on me now. Not all of us are that way. But some of us know how to appreciate the little things. Like the sky we sleep under, or finding a few pennies someone threw away. People like you, your family, they don’t see the little things. They want the bigger things, because they can’t appreciate the big things they already have.” He gestured toward the mark. “That man over there isn’t going to miss a single penny of what you take. I bet he has a hundred, and that hundred-dollar bill is going to buy lunch for every person who is hungry in this park. Sometimes you gotta do bad to do good, kid. Now, go on. Get. I got your back, and cut that crying out. Nobody wants to see that mess. You’re supposed to be a boy. Boys don’t cry and carry on.”

  Nodding, I sniffed back my tears and pulled my baseball cap further down on my head.

  He was right about everything. When my nimble fingers took the stranger’s wallet while he threw out his lunch, I found a few hundred dollars.

  Jeff was ecstatic over my find. After shelving two hundred of the money for a reason he wouldn’t disclose, he tasked me with going to the local fast food restaurant to buy lunch.

  Most of the employees turned their nose up at me. A single cashier agreed to service me. When I gave her the hundred-dollar bill, her eyes glinted with question. She quickly shrugged it away and promised she wouldn’t call the authorities on me.

  She said she understood, because she could barely pay her rent with two jobs.

  Jeff’s words of wisdom suddenly had a new meaning.

  I slipped her twenty dollars from the money I stole. I hoped Jeff would understand, as I understood what he meant earlier.

  I had to lose everything to gain something more valuable.

  I HAD counted three sunsets before pessimism threatened my determination. It was so easy to hope for when there was so little to look forward to. On my fourth night of fitful sleep, it was abruptly disrupted.

  A warm, soft hand went over my mouth. My first thought was to scream until I saw Jayme’s green eyes staring back at me. She pointed to her mouth and shook her head. She was dressed in white pants and a white parka with a fur-lined hood. She clasped my hand and helped me to sit on the edge of the bed. She placed a pair of sneakers—that were a size and a half too big—on my feet. I grabbed the parka she’d placed on the bed and slipped into it, zipping it up.

  She offered me her hand again. Her eyes pleading with me without presuming whether or not I’d take it. With a nod, I slipped my hand into hers.

  The dark of night gave us cover as we walked. The snow crunched underneath our feet as we rounded the palatial estate and headed for the stables. Our presence made the horses stir. I checked out the stalls, counting three black horses of the same breed. I peered out of the open barn door toward the dense forest packed with evergreen trees. The snow was an ethereal dark blue hue due to the full moon.

  “They are beautiful,” I croaked, having not used my voice in days.

  “It can be beautiful here,” she said wistfully. “Once you start going to the theater—or church as some call it—and get the hang of things, it will get better, Keaton. You just have to want it to. Things will be really tough for you here if you keep doing what you have been. Stop fighting. I’ve been there and it never works. There is no escaping this place, at least not alone. Believe me; I’ve tried. I didn’t appreciate all the gifts Reven gave me. I finally do. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. This place is paradise.”

  She had obviously been brainwashed into thinking this life was one that she should aspire to have. Being physically punished for disobeying a madman’s whims was far from paradise. I’d never stop fighting as long as I still had a firm hold on my mind. I would never give in because a mentally unstable individual twisted the meaning of a religious text. Reven created a culture of perversity inside his private little world.

  I needed more information before I could continue to fight, and standing before me was the key to it all. “Were you the one who sent me the roses?” Without waiting for her answer, I continued, “I’m surprised Noah let it slip by.”

  “Noah is responsible for the flowers,” she said with a grin. “He’s never liked anyone before you. But it’s not a good idea for either of you to act on it—if you both like each other. Our bodies aren’t meant for any man other than Reven—unless he wants to share. Anyway, it’s good to have Noah on your side. He’s the disciplinarian around here and he has a lot of power—sometimes it seems like he has just as much as Reven.” She covered her mouth, her eyes widening. “That was such a stupid slip up,” she muffled through her hand before dropping it. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that. It would anger Reven and I can’t stand it when he’s mad at me.”

  “I won’t tell anyone,” I told her carefully.

  “I’ve wondered about you. What they tore you away from.” A wry smile pressed across her lips as she shook her head. “Just know that you have a friend here.”

  I eyed her hands as they dangled down her sides; they trembled severely and I couldn’t discern if it were from the cold or if she were nervous around me. “How long have you been here?”

  “I don’t count the days anymore,” she replied. “I’m waiting until…”

  “Until what?”

  “I’m not even sure.” Her face scrunched up in confusion. “Maybe I just want something from Reven. Exclusivity maybe. To feel truly as special as he always says I am when he takes me to his room at night.” She looked at her hands and stuffed them inside the pockets of her pants. “I love him so much. I want him to love me the way I love him.”

  I restrained myself from shaking my head or taking a step farther and shaking her shoulders to help her snap out of her state.

  As I gazed inside the last stable next to the door, the mare began to stir. Glancing back at Jayme, her eyes held a contradiction to everything Jeff had ever taught me. There wasn’t a hint of a sinister nature to the woman from what I could determine. Nor did she read as one who couldn’t appreciate the little things. She looked like I did the moment I decided to make the street my home, broken.

  Trust wasn’t something I could’ve easily given to someone who claimed this place wouldn’t be horrible if I just obeyed. Jayme had been indoctrinated. I couldn’t accept anything she had to say as a coherent truth.

  She lifted her hand, struggling with moving a stray hair—blowing against the wind—from my face. Sighing, she shoved her hands back into her pockets. “I can tell that you’re stubborn and you’re never going to give up. I don’t want things to get worse for you.” Her words were as genuine as the softness in her eyes.

  Regardless of the situation and the numbness I wanted to feel, the pull to her was strong. I wanted to help her and get her out of this place before she became hopeless. “Jayme, you don’t know me.”

  “So…I shouldn’t care?”

  I didn’t have an answer for her, so I looked down at my feet as I kicked at the frozen dirt. “I don’t know if I should trust you. You don’t know if you should trust me, either.”

  No longer restrained, her hand lifted to brush against my face. My first reaction was to step back, and when I did, my foot hit uneven ground. Grasping for my hands, she pulled me back on even ground before I tumbled down onto the dirt. “We have to make the best of where we are.” She stared at me, her eyes holding to a stark seriousness. “You have to be accepted into the Rebirth Sect. You just…have to.”

  My eyes quickly lifted to hers. There was so much emotion in her last sentence; I knew it held a hidden meaning. She meant somethi
ng beyond what Reven and Noah were directing me to do. Did she mean that she would help me once I was?

  A sinking feeling in my chest made me wonder if I was dreaming, because her words were very much like Jeff’s. I’m losing my mind. “Make the best of it?” I hissed, keeping my voice low. “You have to know what he—they did to me. I’m sure they did it to you, too.”

  “Reven believes in punishment for disobedience. He believes in rewarding good behavior. The rules apply to me, too, Keaton.” With a sadness taming her smile and her eyes glossed over, she continued. “The rules apply to everyone. The punishments are harsher for the rebels—the discards—the other word they call them that I don’t want to say.”

  “Rebels? Discards?” The disgust in my voice became palpable. How could she or anyone easily refer to people so carelessly as human trash? “Is that the official name?”

  “You were closed up in that room for a while. Did you find The Doctrine? Everyone finds The Doctrine and reads it when they are locked away the first time. You didn’t read The Doctrine completely, did you? No, that is not the official name. It’s just what I call them. They are…other people who live on the land. They live in the basement of the theater. You’ll only get three times in the Redemption Room. The discards only get one time to break the rules. If after the third time in that room you continue to be disobedient, you will be ostracized from Rebirth.”

  “Does that mean they will let me go?” I asked.

  Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook her head. “Please don’t disobey anymore, Keaton. You only have one more time to mess up. There are only a few times when you’ll be able to repent and erase your sins, but I don’t know if Reven will allow that with you. I can tell that you anger him. You anger him like no one else has. I don’t know why. He won’t continue to be patient with you.”