The Sect

by Lane, Courtney

  The moment I looked in the mirror, the images Reven forced me to view sliced through my thoughts, bringing me to tears. Jeff. Phoebe. Reese. All of them were dead because I failed them.

  Nadine met me just outside the hall after I had dressed. She nodded in approval at the way I decided to do my makeup.

  The change of the season made it feel like it might’ve been March, rather than late February. I had no way of looking at a calendar to know.

  She led me to the lobby of the theater where men and women who were part of the seminars communicated with one another on the lounges while dining on delicacies and drinks. I stood with the others in a line-up along the far wall.

  “Reven usually speaks to them individually for a private counsel,” Nadine explained. “If he grants them the privilege of what he calls a blessing or an act of contrition, they will walk over and observe us, but they are not normally allowed to pick us; that is what the others are for—the ones who live in the basement of the theater. No matter what, don’t look them in the eye; some of them become a little paranoid when you do.

  “Status is very important,” she continued. “Typically, the high rollers who reside in one the houses are allowed to pick us. If that happens, Noah or someone else will serve as an intermediary.

  “If you see one of the others—the ones who live in the basement—don’t speak to them. They serve one purpose only. Most of them are shuttled straight from the basement into one of two rooms beside the auditorium. There are about twenty-one of them, the last I heard. When Reven begins the service, they scurry into the Paradise or Eden—that’s what we call each of the rooms—and stay there until they are directed to do something.”

  “And what am I expected to do if I’m selected?” I asked dejectedly.

  She blinked at me, visibly put off by my question. “Whatever they want you to do, silly. If you’re ever selected, the last thing you should do is try to get their sympathy and ask them to help you escape. If Reven’s in a giving mood, he can forgive a lot, but if you embarrass him…” She leaned in my ear whispering, “When you tried to escape, did you smell the stench when the wind hits you just right?” She caught sight of Reven approaching us with a gray-haired stout woman and immediately plastered a smile on her face.

  I was left with my mouth agape, making assumptions as to what she meant, and hoping it couldn’t have been true.

  I recalled the smell I’d encountered when I tried to escape. The nature of the smell could’ve only have been described as similar to severely rotted animal meat.

  “I’m Mrs. Sherman,” the woman next to Reven introduced herself while wearing a warm smile, creating smile lines in her pale skin. “Your initiation yesterday was very moving. I’m sure you feel a monumental weight lifted from your burdens. I would be honored if you agreed to accompany me inside the Paradise room.”

  Nadine shoved me forward, ensuring I had very little recourse.

  Timidly, I took her arm and walked into the theater room at the end of the hall. As we walked down the dim corridor, the din of moans and screams filled my ears. When the grand room was revealed, the sights and sounds shocked my system.

  The area was gutted of the usual theater seating. The screen in front of the room displayed a very explicit adult film. The area was set up with harness swings mounted from the ceiling, metal examination tables, and round beds. Everywhere I turned, people were having sex or engaging in some sort of fetish. Whether it was two males and one woman or two females and one man, the scenes varied from rough sex, beatings, and masturbatory activities.

  The people Nadine warned me about were easy to pick out. The men and women who paid to come were usually older; some distinguished, some were not. Most of them weren’t in the same shapes of the participants, nor could they compare in appearance. While attractive in some shape or form, there was something in their eyes that scared me; they were completely vacant.

  Her dark brown eyes glittered as she touched my arm. “I only want your company, but I will never push you to do something you aren’t ready for.” She looked up at the main stairs. “That space is usually empty and most don’t bother to check up there. Why don’t you take some time to collect yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Reven a thing. I’ll assure him that you were the perfect companion.”

  I kept my eyes to the ground as I tried to walk a path along the red carpet situated in the middle of the dark bamboo flooring. During my effort to escape, one scene in particular caught my eye. Several men were watching two women together on a round velvet bed. Her legs were spread in a wide V as the other woman’s head moved wildly between them.

  A naked, well-shaped man stood off to the side with his erection sheathed and ready. He stepped behind the woman on her knees and plunged into her, making her audibly moan. They clawed and fucked each other like hungry animals. There was no other way to put it; it was unlike anything I’d seen before during my times of boredom in which I actually watched what was on the television here.

  As I observed them, the walls began to close in as an insatiable ache remained between my thighs. I quickly moved to the set of narrow stairs that led to another area.

  I found myself in a dim projector room that was expanded to make way for something clouded in shadows. The viewing glass was widened and expanded, permitting an unobstructed view of the activity down below. One corner was so darkly shadowed that I couldn’t make out what was there. Turning toward the window that revealed the scene down below, I shut my eyes, attempting to collect myself and erase whatever had come over me. No matter how hard I tried to shove purer thoughts inside my mind, my encounters with Noah were all I could think about.

  I should’ve despised him after all he’d put me through and done to me—or sat back and allowed to be done to me. My expectations might’ve been unreasonable for a man who was more foe than friend. A man who made it clear he would do anything to survive. A man like that would never sacrifice his comfort for anyone, much less for a woman he didn’t care about.

  My anger, hatred, and horrid memories weren’t enough to cure the shameful ache. I wanted an escape from the emotional pain. To forget about the photographs ingrained in my memory that ensured I achieved very little sleep last night.

  I wanted…pleasure to cloud my mind from the darkness of my reality. Pleasure I never thought I’d desire until Noah gave it to me.

  My hands wandered, sliding up the warmth of my thigh, fingering the slickness on the crux of my inner thigh.

  The rustle of clothing and the shift of a chair startled me out of my skin. A light flickered on from the desk lamp, illuminating Noah’s reflection in the glass.

  Feeling flushed, I swiveled around in my position. As I looked around, I became cognizant of the fact that I’d found my way to what could’ve been Noah or Reven’s office. The impassivity in his expression indicated nothing about what my punishment would be. To me, Noah’s greatest weapon against me was the way he made my body feel. Pleasure was the ultimate punishment.

  My body lightly quaked, making it difficult to remain standing much less regain a confident posture. “I’m sorry.” I cast my eyes down. “I got lost and I…”

  His eyes were pointed to my upper thigh area, easily seen with the way my hand remained there, lifting my skirt away from my hips. I removed my hand from my dress, allowing it to dangle in front of my lap.

  His eyes narrowed, staring at me with a look so cutting it was hard to breathe. His teeth sank into the corner of his smirk as he took in the vision of my damp fingers. “You’re not allowed to touch yourself unless you are told to. It’s like offering up prayers for the wicked when they don’t think they’re bad. Pointless.”

  My blinking slowed; the tonality of his words held sexual mischief that erected an unwanted reaction from the place between my thighs. I remembered a passage in The Doctrine stating that pleasure should always be shared; I didn’t agree. “How is it pointless if I can make myself—” Feeling increasingly uncomfortable by the way he looked a
t me, I switched to another subject. “Told to by whom?”

  His brow lifted as he continued to narrow his eyes at me.

  I quickly fixed my posture, wanting to be downstairs instead of the increasingly stifling room. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” I pressed my lips together because my words were barely audible. I had no idea what had come over me. I felt full of a need that was pinned inside my gut, creating a dark maelstrom of desire. I should’ve wanted to hit him. Shake him. Punish him for the repeated ways he manipulated me, hurt me, or sat back and watched my humiliation.

  “Why do you think you’re here, Keaton? A coincidence?” His smile turned deviant, skewed and seductive. Someday it would be the end of me, because at that very second, it made my body betray what my mind wanted.

  I looked over my shoulder, glancing through the glass over the crowd in search of the woman who sent me upstairs. “You told that woman to pick me so I would be here with you? How do you have that kind of power? Why would you do this? Why do you think I would want anything to do with you after what happened yesterday?” I fiddled with my fingers nervously. “All of the days, really.”

  His strides were slow toward me, and with each step, my heart raced just a little faster. An irritating sizzle rifled up my spine and lingered at the base of my skull. He rushed forward and abruptly turned me back to face the window. Grabbing my hands, he pinned them above my head and against the glass. His leg wedged between my thighs, forcing my legs to part. The pads of his fingers slid up my dress, raking against the skin of my inner thigh. When he found the wet sex, I jerked.

  “You know better than to fight me, Keaton. I can read your body and your mind.” He abruptly slapped my thigh, making me jolt in reaction to the sting. His fingers slipped up higher, easily finding my clit. “I know what you want.” Slowly, the pads of his fingers circled my pulsating bundle of nerves. “I’m going to make it all go away. I’m going to make you feel better.”

  My breaths became pants as he continued to circle my clit with teasing motions. “P-please stop,” I sobbed quietly. I slipped forward, and the burn rifling up my spine transformed into a painful, acidic feeling.

  He did exactly as I requested, making me groan in protest and turn to face him. “What did I say, Keaton? From the point I took you down on the floor and erased your first time, I decided I’d never do this unless you wanted it. Now that you’re fucking with me, you’re going to have to beg for it.” With my hands in his, he turned me around, pinning my arms above my head and pressed them against the glass. “Watch them,” he whispered against the side of my neck. His cool breath sent shivers up my spine. “You need to see. You need to know that no one can make you ashamed of what you want but you. No one can take the pleasure out of sex unless you let them. Now…beg for what you want.” His lips grazed against the bare flesh of my shoulder, his hands kneaded at the material of my dress just above my pelvic bone.

  Beyond the heat of my breath, fogging up the glass, I looked down below at the sea of people thrust into various displays of pleasure. Something inside me wanted to relent, but I didn’t want to give in. Regardless of what I wanted, my lips parted and I began to beg; the winner of the war inside my mind was quickly declared.

  Slipping my dress up to my hips, he allowed his hand to crawl up my thigh. He slapped my clit, making me whimper and jerk. The stinging sensation increased the sensitivity of my clit. Because the moment he circled it with the pads of his fingers, I almost fell apart. Four fingers circled persistently, toying with my folds and my bundle of nerves. I shook with a wanton ache I tried to fight. Moisture stung my eyes as I tried to disobey in my own way.

  “Fuck it,” he groaned. “I’m not sharing you anymore. No one gets to be inside you but me. You are for me. Only for me.” He drew out the words, sinking his teeth into my shoulder. The erratic movements of his fingers erected sloshing sounds, emanating from my dripping wet core. “It’s so easy to seduce you. So very fucking easy.”

  I sobbed, stuck in his hold as my body continued to relent and I could barely hold on to my fight.

  “You’re soaking my fingers, princess.” He released my hands and pushed my body against the glass. “Keep your hands where I placed them.”

  The sensuous way he spoke to me threw me into overdrive. My body desired to please him. My mind wanted to rebel. I kept my hands above my head, trembling with every small sound of his zipper coming down. He came behind me, lifted my dress and pulled my hips toward him. My back arced and my arms slid down the glass with a squeaking sound. The head of his erection toyed with my slick sex. He grabbed it, rocking it back and forth at my slit before he flexed his hips and shoved his way inside. I gasped audibly; my body became tense in reaction to him filling me.

  He receded and slammed back into me, hard and fast. Withdrawing, he repeated the motion, driving into me over and over again, harder than he had any time before.

  I wanted and needed to be fucked like this. Possessively. Strongly.

  I shook full force into ecstasy as the feeling coursed through every nerve and every core. The heat rushed up my skin, singeing me with gratification. A loud whimper unleashed from deep inside my throat. For a moment, the remnants of pain and emotional turmoil quieted for something more consuming.

  The sounds of my wet core, his groin slapping against my behind, my whimpers, and his strained and quiet grunts filled the room. The sensation debilitated me. My eyes rolled back in my head. My body violently reacted to his pace and the friction of his cock inside me.

  A wet, sticky mess flooded between our sexes. His grip on my hips burned as he forced my hips to buck and meet his hard, hurried strokes. His teeth sank into my shoulder, hard enough to leave marks. He groaned as his cock flooded me with his cum. I sank against the dark glass with my panting breaths splayed across the reflective surface. I felt weakened, ravaged, and yet, still craved more.

  He released me so abruptly that I slipped against the window. Reaching my hands out, I braced myself against the glass. From down between my feet, I could see the result of our violent sex dripping onto the floor. Feeling the bombardment of abjection, I closed my eyes, wishing it all away.

  Withdrawing from me, he took several steps backward. Rounding the desk, with no words exchanged, he retrieved a tissue. After wiping down his glistening erection, he tucked himself back inside his pants, zipping up. He palmed his untamed hair back, smoothing everything back into place as his cold eyes settled on me. “Get back downstairs before someone gets suspicious,” he barked at me without a hint of kindness.

  My thighs clung together with the sticky, wet mess, making it difficult to walk.

  “And Keaton,” he called, making me pause at the door. “Wear less makeup tomorrow. You have a role. Play to it, not against it.”

  Turning the knob, I ambled out of his office. At the bottom of the stairs, my tears and sobs were released. I sank against the wall, hating my body and beginning to hate my mind for the way it opened up to him.

  “No. No. Not here.” Nadine grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into a darkened corner. In paranoia, she glanced up at the dark shaded glass, giving no hints as to what was located beyond the black reflective surface. But from the look on her face, I could tell she knew. “Pull yourself together. If Noah or Reven sees you like this, it will get worse.”

  “It can’t be any worse,” I sobbed. “I hate—”

  She covered her mouth and shook her head. “There are eyes everywhere. Remember that.” She glanced behind her and quickly blotted my face with her fingertips. “Pull yourself together and get back to the woman who picked you. Quickly.”

  I nodded, sucking in a sharp breath. I pushed my earlier encounter out of my head and held tighter to what little of my self-control that remained.

  Nadine gave me a smile and gently shoved me on my way.

  THE SUN heated my face, rousing me awake. For only second when I opened my eyes, I believed I was back at home in my room. When the haze lifted from my vision, I reali
zed I was face down and naked on the bed, still at Rebirth, and I was once again alone. My throat was sore, as was the area between my legs. As the visions flashed through my mind, bringing to memory what occurred last night, I hugged the pillow, burying my head into it as I tried to bury the memory shadowing over my need to feel guilty and disgusting. The memory wouldn’t fade. It became all I could see, feel, and recall; Noah’s hands on my skin, the way he took me, and the way he looked at me.

  After showering, I towel dried my hair. I stared at the armoire full of the same exact red dresses, feeling disenfranchised. My choices weren’t my own. My body wasn’t my own. My life belonged to someone else. What I ran from became something I longed for. My path away from the people who loved me led me here. In a way, I felt I had no one else to blame but myself for my predicament. My father would’ve sworn to hire the best security to protect me and ensure Gregory could never find me. Instead of trusting in them and myself, I abandoned them.

  “Hello?”

  I sucked in a sob and quickly slipped into the red dress I secretly wanted to burn.

  Jayme came into my room, greeting me with a smile. “Come on, I’ll walk with you downstairs.”

  She didn’t say much as we walked through the palatial estate. It appeared she had many things to say but held back because there wasn’t any semblance of privacy anywhere.

  As I followed her to the table, I tripped on something and fell flat on my face. When I looked up, Jayme laughed at me. “Oops, you should really watch where you are going.”

  “Would be easier if you hadn’t stuck your foot out and tripped her.” We both bristled at the voice that flooded the room. Her reasons definitely weren’t mine. He helped me to stand, quickly removing his hands from me when the table began to scrutinize us.