Let the Church Say Amen

by ReShonda Tate Billingsley

  Rachel slowly lifted her head. She looked defeated, but that quickly changed when she noticed Shante storming down the hall, wedding dress and all. Rachel decided to act fast. “I understand. Good-bye, Bobby.” She leaned in, wrapped her arms around him, and planted the deepest, most ferocious kiss she could on his lips.

  Bobby didn’t push her off and throw her to the ground like she feared. He kissed her back, albeit briefly, but he kissed her!

  Rachel knew he still felt something for her!

  Bobby clutched her arms and pushed her away.

  “Rachel—” he began.

  Too late. “I know you didn’t!” Shante shouted at her. She clawed out at Rachel but Rachel moved just in time. She mockingly laughed as Shante spouted out obscenities.

  “Remember, you’re in a church,” Rachel said as she jumped behind Travis, who had run out from the choir room. She wasn’t scared of Shante, but even she knew hell hath no fury like a woman scorned on her wedding day.

  “Shante!” Bobby shouted.

  “I saw it!” Shante said, crying. “You kissed that tramp on MY WEDDING DAY!” One of her bridesmaids was now behind her and trying to restrain her. A huge crowd had started to gather.

  “He sure did kiss me, sweetheart,” Rachel taunted. “That’s because his heart still belongs to me. It will always belong to me!”

  “You two-bit slut!” Shante screamed. She lunged at Rachel and caught some of her hair. She jerked so hard she sent Rachel flailing to the ground. Before anyone could move, Shante was on top of her pounding her face. “You try and mess up my day!”

  Rachel could only cover her face and try to ward off the blows. It took Bobby, Travis, and several bridesmaids to get Shante off Rachel.

  They were still trying to restrain her when Simon came running down the hall. “What in Sam Hill is going on down here?” Simon asked.

  “Ask your whorish daughter!” Shante screamed. “Ask her why she would come and try to ruin my wedding day!”

  Rachel struggled to get up off the floor. She felt her lip and left eye swelling. Even though she hadn’t touched Shante, the bride looked like she had been dragged through the mud. Her veil was knocked off, the beaded bodice was torn, and there was a rip in her train.

  “Rachel, what are you doing here?”

  Rachel didn’t answer her father. She just rolled her eyes at all the people looking at her with a mixture of pity and disgust.

  “Get into my office, young lady!” Simon ordered. When Rachel didn’t move, he bellowed, “Now!”

  Rachel huffed, threw one last smug look at Shante, then sauntered off, limping because one of the heels on her sandals had been broken. She heard her father trying to comfort Shante and tell her and Bobby to go talk. Rachel smiled as she walked right past her father’s office. She had no intention of waiting on him. Rachel headed out to her car, a look of satisfaction crossing her face. She didn’t care that everyone was probably talking about her like a dog. All that mattered was she had broken up Bobby and Shante’s wedding. Her mission had been accomplished.

  25

  RACHEL PRAYED that her father would be late in returning from church and that she would have to deal only with her mother. She had been sitting in her car outside their house for almost an hour now, waiting to pick up her kids. She knew her father would yell at her about the scene at Bobby’s wedding yesterday. That’s why she didn’t go to church this morning; she didn’t want to deal with him, and she didn’t want people looking at her like she was crazy. Both her mother and father had tried calling her all last evening, but she did not answer the phone. She was only at the house now because Jonathan had refused to drop off her children, saying he wasn’t getting in the middle of that mess.

  Rachel looked as her mother’s minivan turned the corner. She strained to see if her father was in the car. He wasn’t. Thank God for small miracles. Rachel jumped out of the car and met her mother just as she was pulling into the driveway.

  “Mama, please don’t start,” Rachel said as soon as she saw her mother’s chastising look.

  “I ain’t goin’ say a word. You’re the one that’s got to walk around with folks knowing how much of a fool you acted.”

  Loretta got out the car, pushed the front seat forward, and unstrapped Nia from the first car seat. She lifted the toddler onto her shoulder and motioned toward Jordan. “Get him and bring him on inside. Try not to wake him.”

  “Actually, I thought I’d just take them on home,” Rachel said.

  “Nonsense,” Loretta snapped as she struggled to pull her purse up on one shoulder and keep Nia positioned on the other. “These babies ain’t had nothing to eat and I know you ain’t got nothing over there for them to eat.”

  Rachel really didn’t feel like arguing; she just wanted to get out of there. “I’ll swing through McDonald’s.”

  Loretta threw her a crazy look before walking up the sidewalk to the house. “McDonald’s. On Sunday?” She called out behind her. “Don’t be silly. Now come on.”

  Loretta stopped, turned around, and noticed Rachel hadn’t moved. “Get that boy out the car and come on inside. You can’t hide from your daddy forever.” Loretta shifted Nia, unlocked the door with the keys from her purse, and went inside.

  Rachel stood there debating her next move. She couldn’t just leave, but she didn’t want to see her father either. Simon’s car turning onto the street ended her dilemma. Rachel silently cursed, then quickly leaned over to get Jordan out of his car seat. She had just made it to the front door when her father pulled into the driveway.

  “I thought I told you to wait on me yesterday,” Simon said as he got out of the car.

  Rachel struggled to open the door with Jordan lying across her shoulder. “I need to get Jordan inside,” she said without looking back. Once inside, she quickly raced upstairs and laid her son across the bed in David’s old room, now a room for the kids.

  There was no more putting off the inevitable; Rachel slowly made her way back downstairs. Simon was waiting for her in the living room.

  “Sit down,” he commanded.

  Rachel let out a long sigh and did as she was told.

  Simon paced back and forth. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

  “I ain’t got nothing to say.” Rachel sat there defiantly.

  Simon shook his head. “How dare you come into the church, on that boy’s wedding day, and create a scene! Do you know how bad you made me look?”

  “Oh, yeah. We gotta make sure Reverend Jackson doesn’t look bad,” Rachel snidely remarked.

  “Girl, don’t think you’re too old for me to bust your head to the white meat,” Simon threatened. Rachel tried not to snicker. Growing up, her father had always threatened them with some crazy country saying. But he seldom carried through on his threats. The last time he whipped her was when she was six years old. As the baby, she usually got away with a lot. She assumed her parents were just tired after raising two boys.

  “Are you listening to me?” Simon bellowed.

  Rachel knew the sooner she agreed with her father, the sooner all this would be over with, so she just nodded, trying to soften her look of defiance.

  “I’m sorry, okay? I just love Bobby so much.”

  “Love?” Simon looked at his daughter like she had lost her mind. “You’re nineteen years old. What do you know about love?”

  “You fell in love with mama around my age.”

  “That was a different day and age. Besides, we were mature, which is more than I can say about you.”

  Rachel let out a grunt. “Well, I know I love Bobby. And he loves me.” She was getting agitated again. No matter how civilized and respectful she tried to be with her father, he always managed to make her mad.

  Simon laughed, a deep, maniacal laugh. “If he loves you so much, then why did he marry Shante?”

  Rachel stared at her father in disbelief. “They … still got married?”

  Now it was Simon who looked defiant. “They sure did.
He convinced her that you were crazy, not that it took a lot of doing. Your shenanigans delayed the wedding, but they didn’t stop it.”

  Rachel was speechless. Bobby was married. They had actually gotten married. Rachel felt tears forming. Her heart had never ached the way it did right now.

  Simon’s anger softened at the sight of his daughter’s tears.

  He sat down beside her on the sofa and awkwardly put his arms around her. “Rachel, it’s for the best.”

  Rachel couldn’t hold it in any longer. She buried her face in her hands and started sobbing.

  Simon sat for a few minutes, like he didn’t know whether to pull her into an embrace or not. He finally decided to hug her tightly. “Maybe this will finally get you to move on,” Simon said.

  Rachel pulled back and looked up at her father, though she could barely see, the tears were so heavy. “And you married them?”

  Simon pulled his arm away and stood up. “We’ve already had this discussion. I told you as pastor of Zion Hill, I can’t let my duties interfere with some obsession my daughter has.”

  Rachel’s anger rose again. “Heaven forbid you would do something to jeopardize your pastoral duties!” Rachel shouted. “Who cares how much it hurt your daughter. All that matters is Zion Hill! Zion Hill! I hate that church!”

  All their commotion had Loretta running into the living room. “What is the problem?” she asked.

  Simon stood facing Rachel as he spoke. “Your daughter has lost her everloving mind. You best talk some sense into her before she’s crossed off the welcome mat at this house.”

  Rachel stood up. “So you goin’ ban me like you did David?

  Just kick me out of your life, too?” She gestured mockingly. “Oh, but you’ll still have your precious Jonathan! I bet you would’ve never married one of his ex-girlfriends!”

  The veins in Simon’s neck started bulging. “Loretta, you deal with this child because she goin’ make me lose my religion!” Simon grabbed his newspaper off the mantle and stormed down the hallway and out to the deck. Rachel watched as he settled down into a lawn chair, flipped the paper open, and started reading.

  “Rachel—” Loretta eased up behind her daughter.

  “Mama, how could he?” Rachel sobbed. “How could he do this to me?”

  Loretta took Rachel into her arms and squeezed her tightly. “Get it all out, baby,” she said soothingly as Rachel buried her head into Loretta’s shoulder. “I know it hurts but God heals all wounds.”

  “How could God do this to me? He knows how much I love Bobby.”

  Rachel had grown up in the church. Sure she cursed and had a little sex every now and then, but she still considered herself a Christian. So why did God treat her so unfairly? She couldn’t understand.

  Loretta continued rubbing Rachel’s back. “He also knows what’s best for us, even when we don’t. And the fact that Bobby married that girl means God has a greater plan for you.”

  Rachel lifted her head, wiped her eyes and sniffed. “Like someone better than Bobby?”

  Loretta brushed the loose strands of hair out of Rachel’s face. “Like someone better than Bobby.”

  Rachel wanted desperately to believe her mother’s words, but, right now, she didn’t think she’d ever find anyone she loved as much as Bobby.

  26

  JONATHAN FELT BETTER than he had in months. He was really enjoying his time with Angela, and if he could just get his mind off Tracy, everything would be fine. He thought about seeking professional help because he couldn’t for the life of him understand how he was in love with both a man and a woman. It was a thought that quickly passed because if he couldn’t come clean with his family, he sure wouldn’t be able to tell a complete stranger.

  The fact that he loved Angela proved he couldn’t be gay. And just labeling himself bisexual seemed too farfetched. But he didn’t know what else to call it. He kept telling himself that Tracy was an experiment. That’s not the way life was supposed to be.

  “You seem to be in another world.” Angela’s voice jolted Jonathan out of his thoughts.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “Isn’t this place beautiful?” she said. They were sitting on a blanket in the grass at Transco Towers, a waterfall-laden garden area near the Galleria shopping center. Several couples were strolling through the area. One young woman was having her bridal portraits taken near the waterfall. Right next to them, a boy was throwing a Frisbee to his dog.

  Angela leaned back and inhaled. “I love coming out here. It’s so peaceful. And I just love the smell of the water.”

  Jonathan looked at Angela strangely. She had been doing and saying weird things all week. Sure, the waterfall was pretty, but as for smelling good? “What’s going on, Angela?”

  Angela closed her eyes and began talking. “You know, when you left me I was devastated. I just knew you had gotten down there and fallen for some college coed.”

  Jonathan interrupted. “Angela, I told you—”

  “Just let me finish.” Angela kept her eyes closed, lying down with her hands behind her head. The mist from the waterfall lightly sprinkled her face. “I wanted some answers. I needed some answers. But they never came. So, I just prayed for peace of mind and finally that came. Then when I saw you that day at church, everything I thought I had buried came rushing back. Still, I never dreamed we’d get back together.”

  “Angela, where are you going with this?”

  “Jonathan, I’m pregnant.” The expression across her face was strained, but she never opened her eyes.

  Jonathan stared at her in disbelief. They had only had sex that one time. Angela was consumed with guilt afterward, saying she had really built her relationship with God during their time apart and she was adamant about remaining celibate. That was just fine with him because after their rendezvous, he was more confused than ever. He had hoped since he once truly loved Angela that being with her sexually would help him get over Tracy. Of course, it wasn’t working.

  Jonathan wasn’t stupid, he knew it took only one time, but he never would’ve dreamed that’s what she wanted to talk to him about.

  They sat in silence for several minutes. “So?” Angela finally said.

  “So what?”

  “Do you hate me?”

  “Angela, I could never hate you. Besides, you didn’t get pregnant alone.” He looked off, taking in the scenery. A baby. How could he have been so careless? She’d told him she wasn’t on birth control. Of course, that was after they’d already slept together. She said she’d stopped taking it after they had broken up and because she had vowed to remain celibate, had never bothered to get back on the pill. Still, he never thought he would’ve gotten her pregnant.

  “You don’t have to be there. I can do this by myself,” Angela offered.

  Why is it women always said that? As if he’d be able to just forget his flesh and blood. “Angela, that’s absurd. I’m not just going to leave my child.”

  Jonathan turned toward Angela. She was now lying with her eyes wide open, staring at the sky. They were misting and her chest was heaving up and down. Jonathan took her hand and began stroking it. “Angela, we’ll get through this.” He had to make her believe that, because he sure didn’t.

  “So an abortion is out of the question?” Kevin was munching on Pringles in between gulps of his Rolling Rock.

  Jonathan had rushed right over to Kevin’s apartment after dropping Angela off at home. He had to talk to someone about the news. They were now stretched out on Kevin’s Italian leather sofa.

  “Yeah, I wouldn’t even suggest that. She’d go berserk and probably damn me to hell.”

  “You’re the religious one. Maybe this baby is a sign for you to get over ol’ girl,” Kevin said, with a mouthful of chips.

  “Who?”

  “The chick from Atlanta.” Kevin swallowed the last of his beer and continued talking. “So, you don’t think she did this on purpose, do you? I mean
you were her first love, and maybe this is just her way of trying to get you back.”

  That thought had crossed Jonathan’s mind, albeit briefly. Angela simply wasn’t that type of woman. “Naw, she didn’t even want to have sex. I practically had to beg her.”

  Kevin didn’t look swayed. Finally he shrugged. “You know, having a baby isn’t the worst thing that could happen. At least you know Angela ain’t crazy and you won’t have to deal with any baby mama drama like Rachel be dishing out.”

  Jonathan narrowed his eyes at Kevin. “Leave my sister alone.”

  “All I can say is I’m thankful you never let me get with her. Because if I had been unlucky enough to shoot some of this up in her fertile ass, I’d never be able to deal with her crazy behind. Man, I just think of some of the stuff she’s done, and it’s enough to get me to make sure I wrap it up with whoever I’m with.”

  Jonathan let Kevin ramble on. Even though he hated people bad-mouthing his sister, he didn’t let the ranting get to him because he knew Kevin loved Rachel like she was his own flesh and blood.

  “Anyway,” Kevin continued, “Angela is good people. If there was anyone I’d want as a baby’s mama, it would be her.”

  “That’s just it. I don’t want a baby’s mama.”

  “So what does that mean?” Kevin paused, his mouth droping open when he realized what Jonathan was saying. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of marrying Angela?”

  Jonathan sat up and started thumbing through the various sports magazines strewn out on Kevin’s coffee table. “I know that’s what she wants. She kept hinting at it all the way home, talking about how she never saw herself having a baby out of wedlock.”

  Kevin looked shocked. “Man, that’s deep. Are you ready for that?”

  “I don’t know. Angela is the type of woman men dream of marrying. If I wanted to get married, she’d be perfect.” Jonathan didn’t know if he should even be considering marriage. Especially, not with lingering feelings for Tracy.

  “But still, marriage? Everybody and their mama got babies these days. Nobody gets married anymore just because they knocked someone up.”