Benton circled the bar, and the room whirled. For a moment, Sophie wondered if holding her breath caused her to lose consciousness until she realized Benton spun her bar stool around. The flash she caught of his expression before he forced her knees apart and reclaimed her mouth was almost feral. The first kiss had nothing on the second. It was hungry and all-consuming. The edge of the bar bit into her back as Benton ate at her mouth. All she could do was hold on for the ride as he kneaded at her thighs while somehow urging her hips closer to his until she cradled his erection against the apex of her thighs. He rocked against her. The breath caught in her throat. Lights popped behind her eyes. Holy shit. She’d never been so close to orgasm while still in her clothes.
Her fingers found the curls at his nape because she couldn’t walk away from this moment without knowing how they felt. Benton moaned. Sophie’s stomach muscles clenched at the sound. His lips moved to her throat, lingering. She tried to suck oxygen into her lungs with little success. Every inch of her burned.
“Jesus.” Yes. She agreed, but couldn’t say as much. It was possible words were lost to Sophie forever. “I didn’t know.” She hadn’t either. If she’d known how he would make her feel, she would’ve run a long time ago. “I should walk you back.”
“Yeah.” If ever there was an award for pushing a single word past a swollen throat, Sophie won it hands down.
“Just give me a second.”
Sophie nodded, incapable of more as he pulled away. His amber eyes were softer than she’d ever seen them while highlighted by flushed cheeks. Tears pricked the backs of hers. It was physically painful watching him turn his back. The first deep breath she drew when he was gone caused her lungs to burn, proving how much oxygen she’d lost in his presence. Unfortunately, staying true to his word, Benton was back before she had time to recover and the first glimpse of his body encased in ripped jeans and a soft-looking T-shirt thinned the air once more. She’d never seen him in anything other than a suit and tie. Even relaxed, he never appeared at ease.
“You have to stop looking at me like that.”
“Sorry.” She wasn’t, but she did try to rearrange her features for his benefit. That is until he came within smelling distance. His cologne had her pressing her thighs together and praying for willpower. If she prayed for strength, she’d use it to wrestle him to the floor and have her way with him.
“Seriously, you have to stop looking at me like that.”
Sophie slipped from the stool. “We have to go.” Without waiting for his agreement, she slid past him and headed for the front door. Before she could get her jacket back on, Benton interceded, helping her. It might’ve been the act of a gentleman if he hadn’t swiped her hair to the side and pressed his lips to the back of her neck, but he did. Her knees almost gave out. Benton held her hand all the way back until they reached the door. They tried sneaking in through the back, but Jamie busted them the moment they stepped inside.
“A pile of laundry, huh?”
She peeked inside the kitchen. It was empty. “It was massive,” Sophie replied without missing a beat.
“Funny, since you have a maid, and you found something to change into,” Jamie added, ignoring Sophie and keeping his gaze locked on Benton.
“Where’s mom and dad?” Sophie asked, attempting to draw his focus her way. Jamie refused to glance away from Benton. It was setting her teeth on edge.
“Doing touristy crap.”
“You want me to disappear too so you can spend some time with Hawke?”
Finally, Jamie met her stare. “Of course not. Hawke rarely gets to see you. We’re about to watch a movie. Would the two of you like to join us?”
“I’m in,” Benton said, heading for the living without waiting for a second invitation. No doubt he was running away before Jamie had time to question him further. Sophie moved to follow. Jamie cut her off before she made it two steps.
“Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”
Sophie kept her expression carefully blank. “About?”
Jamie spent a minute eyeing her. Sophie could practically hear him begging her not to treat him like an idiot, but Jamie didn’t say it. Instead, he shook his head and sighed. “Don’t crush him, okay?” She wanted to laugh it off, but Jamie’s expression stopped her. “I’m being serious, Sophie. He’s Hawke’s best friend for a reason. As hardened as he appears and as much he’d like to pretend otherwise, he’s more like Hawke than anyone realizes. He gives until there’s nothing left of him. For people such as us, that’s addicting, but unless you mean it, he can’t take it, okay?”
Sophie dipped her chin, incapable of speaking. It was ridiculous to ask what he meant about people such as them. Broken people. Hawke made Jaime whole again. It was possible Sophie was beyond repair.
Chapter 5
On any other night, Benton would’ve forced his way between Jamie and Hawke on the couch. If for no other reason, he loved to impose himself upon them. It was fun. He always expected Jamie to shove him onto the floor, but the man tolerated his intrusion with the bare minimum of grace. Tonight, Benton found himself on the floor between Hawke’s knees. The irritating ass inside him couldn’t let Jamie get too cozy with Hawke, but he wanted to be with Sophie. Lust strummed through him, making him reckless. It was still a calculated risk. There were plenty of seats in the huge living room—places she could kick back and relax. Instead, she sat beside him on the floor. A triumphant roar ran through his mind every time she shifted and her thigh brushed his.
It was ridiculous. He was well beyond the point in his life where he should question doing mundane things—like wondering if she would hold his hand. Half way through the movie, Benton couldn’t remember the name of the film much less anything that happened. On the other hand, he knew exactly how many times Sophie crossed an uncrossed her ankles, searching for a more comfortable spot. He dug his phone from his pocket, intent on asking her to sneak away with him before he remembered her phone wouldn’t work here. He checked the time instead. When the face of his phone lit, Sophie glanced his way.
“Can I borrow that?” Benton handed it over. After a minute of trying to figure out how to work the device, a smile lit her face when she obviously figured it out. Turning it sideways, she sent out a quick text before handing it back. “You’ve missed a few messages.” Benton checked his phone at her claim. Sure enough, he’d missed one.
“One is hardly a few,” he muttered as he clicked on the icon. He bit back a smile. It seemed he’d messaged himself.
I’ve missed seeing your name appear on my phone more than I can ever say.
Benton typed a reply.
I’ve missed you more.
He flashed the phone at Sophie so she could see it. She cast a quick glance at it before looking away. The curve of her cheek said more than words about how his claim affected her.
“This movie is shit,” Hawke said, pulling everyone’s attention his way. “You want to go to bed?”
Incapable of not fucking with him, Benton tilted his head back and pasted on his biggest smile. “It’s like you can read my mind.”
Jamie smacked him on the back of the head. “Bad Benton. You know you’re not allowed on the bed.”
With a laugh, Hawke leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. “Goodnight, Benton. Don’t stay up too late. You’re not as young as you used to be.” He kissed Sophie on the cheek before climbing over them and heading for the door with Jamie hot on his heels.
“Goodnight guys,” Jamie called over his shoulder, leaving them alone.
Benton eyed the door, ensuring they would not reappear before speaking. “This movie really is shit.”
“How old are you, by the way? I’ve never thought to ask.”
“How old are you?” Benton shot back.
“That’s hilarious. You know when my birthday is, but not how old I am.” She was old enough. That was all he needed to know. Now that she broached the topic he felt old. “I’m twenty-nine, by the way,” she added,
turning old into ancient.
“I’m forty-two.”
“See. That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Before he had time to respond, she tugged him toward her and touched her lips to his. She didn’t deepen the kiss. It was sweet and achingly innocent. His cock reacted the same as if she’d boldly stroked him. His heart did something else. It yearned. Even when Sophie pulled away, her grip didn’t loosen on his shirt.
“Every day, I would think of something I wanted to tell you and then I’d remember you didn’t want to hear from me again.” His throat tightened at her admission. “It never stopped knocking the wind out of me. Every damn time.”
“Same,” he said, managing to push the one word past his tight throat. Even her eyes smiled. Sophie’s fingers moved from his shirt to his cheek. Her thumb stroked his bottom lip. Damn. He loved the shade of her eyes. They were gorgeous just like the rest of her. She stroked his lip again. He kissed her thumb. It had been a long time since he’d truly wanted anyone. With Sophie, it was more than physical. He wanted her time. Her thoughts. Everything. “I want you to kiss me again. Even though I don’t deserve it.” A line appeared between her eyes. Benton didn’t give her time to ask. “When I told you to stay away from me, it wasn’t you I was angry with—not entirely. It was me and you. I wanted to find something wrong with you because then, the rage I felt from the second I saw you in Joss’ arms wouldn’t mean I was jealous. It would merely be a byproduct of seeing you in the arms of the man who schemed to ruin your brother’s life. But I was jealous, Sophie. Sometime between our first texts and that night, I’d come to think of you as mine.”
Her rapid blinking made him wonder if she was fighting back tears. She cleared her throat. “When you walked away, I tossed back one more shot and told everyone I was done for the night. Seeing you again,” Sophie broke off, shaking her head. “I wanted to run after you and hear your voice. Nothing more. Just your voice.”
To anyone else, her statement might have been a letdown of sorts. For him, he felt the same. He hadn’t been lying. At some point he couldn’t define, she’d become his to Benton’s mind. Sometimes, he missed the sound of her voice to the point he thought he’d go insane. “Come back to my house.” He let the offer hang between them, allowing her to take it as she pleased. He simply wanted to hold her and pretend she was his for another day.
“Let’s go.”
Benton didn’t need to hear it twice.
*
The nervous fluttering in Sophie’s stomach was new. It went against her nature in every way possible. In her freshman year of college, she dated a pro-football player who’d possessed an unhealthy number of kinks. At the time, she hadn’t realized it wasn’t good for her. By the end, it hadn’t mattered one whit. She’d walked away with a new understanding of a darker side of life, and a few new tricks. For every insecurity she’d gained from Guy’s shitty treatment of her, Sophie had doubled her knowledge on how to reclaim her place in the world. She’d also vowed no one would ever bring her low again. For the most part, she’d kept that promise.
Benton was the first person since then to make her unsure of herself. It might’ve been his money, position or simply the way he looked at her, but the end result was the same. Her insides shook at the idea of going to bed with him. He’d probably slept with thousands of women who were willing to do—as he’d said—anything. As much confidence as she had in her abilities, she couldn’t compete with a porn star. Sophie was willing to bet good money, he’d met at least one porn star over the years. No, she didn’t know what put that thought in her head. It just popped in there the moment she set eyes on Benton’s massive bed. The poor defenseless wood and fluff didn’t scream porn, but her mind grabbed the idea and ran. Luckily, Benton tugged his shirt over his head and killed her brain.
“Do you intend to sleep in that?” Benton asked, motioning toward her jeans and T-shirt. He unbuttoned his jeans. She followed suit. It seemed they were sleeping together—literally. Her nerves calmed a hair. Benton kicked out of all but his boxer briefs. Sophie was dying. A dark line of hair ran from his navel, disappearing beneath his waistband. The bulge there spoke volumes, but he wanted to sleep. Okay. She could do this. She slid her pants off and pulled the magic trick where her bra came out of her sleeve. His musical laughter as he tugged the comforter down, exposing the tan sheets underneath went further toward calming her than anything thus far. Settling onto his side, Benton patted the empty space next to him. “I’m waiting.”
Sophie slid in next to him. It was heaven. “Holy shit. Did leprechauns weave this mattress with dreams and unicorn hair?” Benton laughed as he repositioned their bodies with her back against his chest. She snuggled closer, pressing her ass against his erection. The only scenario where this bed got better was the one where he was fucking her in it. It was freaking amazing. His fingers found their way beneath the waistband of her panties until his palm rested against her mound. She held her breath, anticipating. He didn’t budge. Sophie’s clit begged for attention, but she couldn’t move. There was no way Benton couldn’t feel her heart racing. Sophie was certain it would beat from her chest. Still, he made zero attempts to go farther. The tension in Sophie’s muscles made her wonder is she’d snap a tendon.
“I’d love to feel your walls giving way, making room to accept me.” Chill bumps rose on Sophie’s skin as Benton spoke against her hair. “The fantasy of your wet heat squeezing me and tugging me to oblivion has haunted me for months, but this is better.” Her shoulders relaxed at his claim even as she silently whimpered. There was no way in hell she was getting any sleep tonight. Her body screamed. It paled in comparison to the sound her heart made. The sigh it released threatened to burst her eardrums.
*****
Joss hated hospitals with an unhealthy passion. The smell of antiseptic and hopelessness sank into his pores the second he cleared the doors of New Orleans East. This was the real reason he’d left Brighton a week early. It didn’t feel right sharing Maddox’s business with anyone, but neither could he let the man do this alone. The second he caught sight of Maddox settled in the corner of the waiting room, his heart slowed. It hadn’t stopped racing since he’d learned Maddox’s dad had fallen ill at work. Maddox’s father had always been good to him. When he’d been a teenager with no real place to call home, Maddox’s dad had always made a place for him. Joss would never forget it.
Maddox turned his head at Joss’ approach. Oddly, he didn’t seem surprised to see him, but neither did he appear welcoming. He looked tired and so damn sexy. It was ridiculous how badly Joss wanted to touch him if only for a second. The man possessed the most amazing soft brown eyes Joss had ever seen. They’d always been his undoing.
“What are you doing here?” There wasn’t an ounce of emotion in Maddox’s voice. Joss tried not to take it to heart since he’d expected hatred. He slid into the empty chair next to Maddox, preparing for a cramped back and stiff knees. Hospitals never rushed anything.
“Your dad is sick. I’m your best friend. It’s my job to be here. Plus, it’s Christmas. Would you like me to go on?”
“We’re not friends. You’re absolved of all duties or guilt whatever this is.”
Maddox refused to look at him. It hurt. He couldn’t lie to himself. “Nope. It doesn’t work that way.”
“I’d get up and walk away all pissy like if I wasn’t almost eighty percent sure my body has permanently conformed to this god-awful chair. Why don’t you do me a real favor and storm off on my behalf?”
“I get you’re pissed at me.”
“Really?” Maddox snorted. “I don’t think you do.”
“Oh, I get it. I didn’t realize Hawke was under the impression we were living together until Sophie confessed to having told him as much over dinner. That tiny detail made a bad situation a whole lot worse, so yeah, I totally understand your anger.”
“Do you think that changes anything?” Maddox asked, not bothering to hide his bitterness. “Sophie merely fanned the flames of what you
began. The damage was already done. Her part doesn’t lessen yours. So you know, go the fuck away. I don’t need this shit right now.”
The hatred in Maddox’s voice caused something inside Joss to snap. Damn, he knew it was a bad time, but he couldn’t stop. Chances were good they had some time to kill and Maddox would probably never speak to him again. They would do this and Maddox would accept his friendship during his time of need whether he wanted it or not. It wouldn’t happen until they were one hundred percent honest with each other and themselves. “What about you, Maddox? You weren’t innocent. You could’ve blocked my number. Hell, you could’ve fired me from the band at any time. There was nothing keeping you from walking away from me, but you didn’t.”
As if Joss’ fury set him free, Maddox didn’t hesitate firing back. “You were my best friend. Goddamn, Joss. Since we were fifteen, it’s been us. You were there when my daughter was born. In the hospital, you were one of the first people to hold her. We’ve stayed up late together, walked the floors together when she was sick. There’s nothing we haven’t been though together. We’ve fought. Made love.” Maddox shook his head as if there were no words. Joss knew. There wasn’t. “At first, I couldn’t figure out why you were doing it, but I knew if there was something going on with you, I couldn’t turn my back. You were my best friend,” he repeated, drawing out every word and shoving the knife deeper in Joss’ heart. Maddox didn’t need to explain what that meant. It meant, even when it cost him everything, Maddox had stuck by his side. Now, it was Joss’ turn. He would fix what he could.
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