Heart's Duo (Ugly Eternity #4)

by Charity Parkerson

  There was always work. He’d been neglecting some band business since his dad’s diagnosis. No time like the present, right? It happened without his permission. The phone was pressed to his ear and Joss’ voice was coming through the line before Maddox accepted it as reality.

  “Hello?” Even Joss’ greeting sounded skeptical of his call.

  “Hey, man. How’s it going?”

  “All right, and you?”

  Maddox ran his hand through his hair, wondering if this was a huge mistake. “I’m good. Here’s the thing. That guy you sent me to fill your spot isn’t working out.”

  There was a moment of silence before Joss cleared his throat. “All right. Um. I guess I could look for someone else.”

  “You could,” Maddox agreed. “But I was sort of hoping you’d consider coming back. I’m not sure anyone else can fill your shoes. It’s too much work trying to force someone into your slot.” The million and one ways this could blow up in his face raced through Maddox’s mind. It was too late. The offer was out there.

  “I don’t know,” Joss said, and for better or worse, Maddox dug his heels in.

  “I do. You’re part of Ugly Eternity. We started this thing together. If you don’t want it, I may let it go. We don’t sound the same. It doesn’t feel the same. Shit’s just off, and I don’t have time to fix it. We need you there. I need you.”

  “For real, I’m out of practice.”

  A smile exploded across Maddox’s face as he realized Joss would cave. “If you’re free tonight, I’ve got some time to kill for the first time in a long time. We could meet at the shop and I could whip you back into shape.” Another lengthy silence met his words. Maddox knew he was still there. He could feel him.

  “What about Addison?”

  “She’s staying the night with a friend, but it wouldn’t have mattered if she wasn’t.” He laughed as he added, “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve thrown some noise canceling headphones on her tiny head so we can jam.”

  A low rumble came through the line, making Maddox smile. “That’s true. Okay. What the hell. I have nothing else going on. Give me fifteen and I’ll meet you there.”

  *

  Joss set his phone aside and stared at the spot next to his office door. The framed business license hanging there had never held him so enthralled. He was there, working on the books that were fucked up beyond all hope since Jamie refused to cash any checks Joss sent him. Not to mention, his stubborn twin kept sneaking money into his account until Joss no longer knew what he had or what he didn’t.

  Maddox wanted him back in the band. The shock of hearing from Maddox had yet to wear off enough for Joss to decide if it was something he wanted as well. Unfortunately, personal preference had no foothold here. It was Maddox. Joss couldn’t say no. Instead, he’d asked for fifteen minutes. As if the compilation of eighteen hundred seconds would be enough for Joss to come to grips with he’d just done—willingly handed the reins of his heart back to his only obsession. Fucked. That’s what Joss was—totally and royally fucked. Not just temporarily screwed, but for the foreseeable future, fucked.

  Before Joss had embraced the longings of his heart, and before he’d walked away from Ugly Eternity, he hadn’t realized how much those endless performances and nights of practice had done their part to keep him held captive—trapped with a man who’d never feel the same. Pounding on the back door of the shop, jerked Joss from his worries. His gaze shot to the clock. Goddamn. His fifteen were up, and he’d barely moved. Fucked with a capital F.

  It was too late now. He let Maddox in. As the door swung wide, Joss held his breath. He’d seen the man thousands of times, but the last time changed something inside Joss. He was free to admit—if only to himself—the way Maddox’s eyes made him want to do something, anything to hold their focus.

  “Hey.” Yeah. It was lame. He didn’t care. Maddox stepped inside. A half-smile lingered on his lips as if he couldn’t quite decide how he’d come to be there. Well. That made two of them.

  “Hey,” Maddox said in return. A full-fledged smile transformed Maddox’s features, making Joss wonder if he too heard the ridiculousness in their reluctance.

  “I haven’t had any time to set anything up,” Joss confessed.

  “There’s no reason I can’t help.”

  Like that, they fell into step, working alongside each other the way they always had.

  “How’s your dad?” Joss didn’t look at Maddox a he asked the question. He didn’t want to open up a can of anything, but he needed Maddox to know he cared.

  “He’s good. They haven’t released him to go back to work yet, but he’s getting there.”

  Joss kept his gaze averted, hooking up his amp. It was half avoidance and half for sanity’s sake. “Good. That’s awesome.” The faded jeans with the holes in the knees that hugged Maddox’s every line were doing their best to snag Joss’ gaze. Joss fought temptation with ninja-like skill. Temptation was handing Joss his ass.

  “Jamie tells me your sales are through the roof, and you might need a bigger store soon.”

  That worked to pull Joss from the brink. His gaze shot to Maddox. “You talked to Jamie?”

  Maddox wasn’t looking at him. He nodded as he adjusted the height on his microphone stand. “They called me a few days before Christmas. I had to stop them from coming out to help me with dad.”

  “They?”

  “Jamie and Hawke,” Maddox clarified.

  A few days before Christmas? That was before Sophie’s confession. “You talked to Hawke?”

  Maddox finally met his gaze. There wasn’t an ounce of malice or hurt in his eyes. They were okay. “Yeah. It shocked me too, but honestly, I don’t guess it should have. It’s Hawke.” If Maddox had been describing anyone else in the world, it would’ve been a piss poor explanation, but Maddox was right. It was Hawke. He wished no one harm or thought of himself first. It was why he was so easily destroyed and why he belonged with Jamie. Hawke was selfless. Jamie was all Hawke, all the time, and nothing else. “Anyhow, Jamie’s called about once a week ever since, checking in.”

  “I’m glad you’ve worked things out.” He really was. Maybe there was a tiny speck of hope Joss hadn’t fucked things up for life. Maddox’s expression turned wicked.

  “You ready to do this?” He spoke into the microphone, nearly blowing Joss’ eardrums. With a shake of his head, Joss tried dispelling the ringing in his ears. “Maybe that’s a little loud,” Maddox added, with a laugh, but toning it down. “Might want to put those ear plugs in, my friend.” Maddox continued, refusing to say anything unless it filtered through the mic first. “You’re getting rusty.” As Joss crammed in his ear plugs, he realized he was smiling. The unfamiliar ache in his cheeks nearly brought him up short. Shaking it off, he strummed a few chords. “Tune that shit. It sounds awful.”

  Even Maddox’s bossy tone couldn’t pry the smile from his face. Joss did as he bade. Maddox belted out the first lyrics, forcing Joss to keep up. The music flowed through, soothing the final frayed nerve Joss possessed. He’d almost forgotten, or rather he’d tried to forget, the way Maddox’s voice weaved magic. It was intoxicating. Joss couldn’t stop staring. The only thing saving his ass was Maddox’s odd mood. It was like the man was incapable of settling down. Every other line, Maddox said something ridiculous in place of the song lyrics.

  “Stop looking at me.”

  Joss tried watching his hands instead, fighting back a grin. Barely ten seconds passed before Joss found himself staring at Maddox again. His blond hair was a mess, and the faded shirt he wore looked ready to give up the battle against the muscles of Maddox’s chest.

  “Seriously, I can’t sing with you looking at me.”

  A chuckle fell from Joss’ lips. If it sounded half as evil to Maddox as it felt to Joss, he couldn’t imagine what Maddox was thinking. “Dude, you’re a performer—on stage,” he added for good measure. “Everyone’s looking at you while you’re singing.” Maddox stopped trying to
push through the song. Cocking his head to one side, Maddox seemed to think it over.

  “You’re not. You’re always behind me. Maybe that’s the problem here.” Maddox grabbed the mic stand and repositioned it, turning his back to Joss. “Let’s try this.”

  Joss eyed the wide expanse of Maddox’s back. His ass was something out of a wet dream. “I’m cool with this.” Oh yeah. He heard himself. Pure lust dripped from every syllable. There was no calling it back. Maddox glanced over his shoulder with one eyebrow raised. Joss smiled unrepentantly. A dimple appeared in Maddox’s cheek, but he didn’t call Joss out. Turning away, Maddox started over. They made it through four songs before Joss’ body stopped aching—just his cock. Not his chest. That was one part of his anatomy that never quit dreaming. Stupid hope, springing eternal and shit. Did that turn out well for anyone? Maddox finally threw in the towel.

  “You’ve still got it. No worries. You’ll do great this weekend.”

  And there it was, the reminder of how this was now the rest of his life. “Sure thing.”

  An odd look passed over Maddox’s face at Joss’ less-than-thrilled tone. “Are you sure you’re cool with this?”

  There was no way he would let Maddox lose Ugly Eternity. “Of course.” It was only his heart that was breaking. Joss could live with that. He couldn’t live with knowing there was no music in Maddox’s life. Maddox didn’t look convinced, but thankfully, he let it go.

  “Let’s get this shit cleaned up. I’m sure you have other things you’d rather be doing while the night is still young.” No. Seriously. There was no place he’d rather be than with Maddox, but he was an idiot.

  “You go ahead. I can put all this away.”

  Maddox spent a moment eyeing Joss as if attempting to decipher his tone. Joss carefully kept his features blank. Nothing good could come of anything else. Maddox was speaking to him again. They were still friends. It was way more than he’d dared to hope for. “Are you sure?” he asked, obviously finding nothing wrong.

  “Yeah. Seriously. This is what I do all day. It’ll take me all of five minutes.”

  “Then it’ll take us two and a half together.”

  Joss sighed. “Maddox, go home. Please?”

  With a nod, Maddox headed for the door. “Text me if you get two and a half minutes in and your back gives out,” he called over his shoulder. He ducked out the back before Joss could find anything to throw at his head.

  *

  The thing about living with someone for years was, eventually there were no more secrets. At least, that’s what Maddox always thought. Joss was the exception to almost every rule. Years ago, they’d been the biggest secret either of them was keeping. Stolen touches, hot glances, and unforgettable nights became the sum total of exactly nothing. Their relationship hadn’t ended in a huge bang of fanfare. They’d simply moved on. It wasn’t hard. Fantasies that occur only in the dark often disappear in the light of day with barely a passing thought. Night time illusions weren’t meant to carry into the day.

  Until the moment Joss confessed his feelings, Maddox hadn’t suspected a thing. Now that he knew, it consumed him. A thousand times he should’ve noticed. They were as clear as day now. Maddox’s memories reminded him of a Rorschach. A million times he’d looked and seen a butterfly. Now, someone pointed out the bunny and he couldn’t see anything else. It was fanciful but apt. No one had ever been closer to Maddox than Joss. Maddox couldn’t stop wondering if he’d intentionally kept everyone an inch further away than the man he considered his best friend. Perhaps, it had always been more.

  Another thing about living with someone for years was, they didn’t bat an eye when their extra key wasn’t returned when someone moved out, as Maddox had done. That was how Maddox ended up, sitting in the dark, and waiting for Joss to get home. As he’d pulled away from the music store, Maddox pointed his car in the direction of home. Somehow, while he’d been puzzling over the lust in Joss’ eyes, his car took him to a different home—the one he’d shared with Joss.

  He’d like to think he’d sat out front, debating what to do. In truth, he’d gone straight in and sat down to wait. He’d also like to pretend he didn’t know why he was there, but ignorance, even when feigned, was ugly on everyone equally. The headlights of Joss’ truck filtered through the blinds, casting a glow across the carpet for a moment before disappearing again.

  Maddox intentionally parked out front. Joss always parked in back. Settling deeper in his seat, an evil grin pulled at Maddox’s lips as he tried calculating how long it would take Joss to figure out he was there. His wide frame filled the doorway. Maddox held his breath. Joss’ brown hair was longer than the last time Maddox buried his fingers in it. The idea made his palms itch. Joss toed off his shoes before tossing his keys on the table. They collided with Maddox’s. Joss froze. For a second out of time, Joss stared at the two sets of keys before lifting his chin to search the darkness. He flipped the switch beside him, lighting up the room. Their gazes collided and didn’t move.

  “You didn’t throw your back out.” Joss shook his head at Maddox’s observation, seeming almost rendered mute. “I could remedy that.”

  Joss looked skeptical. Maddox couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t like the ass fairy showed up every night. Joss’ hands moved to his hips before falling to his sides. He shifted from foot to foot. It couldn’t have been more obvious he didn’t know how to react. “So…this is what? Payback?” That pissed Maddox off a bit. “Am I going to wake up in the morning to find you gone and then the next time I see you it’ll be as if nothing happened?”

  “I guess you’ll have to find out… or not.”

  “It’s a brilliant plan, actually. I wondered why it seemed all was forgiven. Kicking a man when he has nothing left is pretty damn good though. I have to give you that.”

  Maddox came to his feet, doing his best to keep his anger from showing in his tone. “Since you’re not interested, I guess I’ll go.” As he reached for his keys, Joss struck. His T-shirt tightened across his back as Joss clenched the front, towing him forward until they were nose to nose.

  “Fuck you, you bastard. I never said I wasn’t interested.” His dark blue eyes were almost crazed with lust. Maddox recognized the emotion shining in the other man’s eyes a split second before their mouths collided. He felt the same. It clogged his throat and sat heavy upon his chest. His skin crawled with need and no amount of sucking on Joss’ tongue assuaged his thirst. The night of the wedding reception, Maddox had been out of his head, but he remembered every detail. In truth, he’d never forgotten a single time they’d touched over the years, but he was no man’s secret. That wasn’t a life he cared to live. The cock beating behind his zipper, begging for Joss’ touch didn’t care if this was one time or forever. It didn’t keep score. Aching need was all it knew.

  As if Joss could read his mind and saw his impatience, he freed Maddox’s erection. A moan came from Maddox’s chest finding his throat before vibrating through their kiss. It mixed with the flavor of coffee and man, making Maddox’s stomach growl. When Joss’ fingers encircled his erection, time seemed to slow as electricity crawled over his skin. The building pressure tightened his skin. His dick leaked as Joss’ taste buds scraped his.

  *

  Until Maddox’s tongue touched his, he hadn’t understood. There was no way Joss could’ve prepared himself. It hurt—way more than anything ever. The pain outweighed the pleasure by tenfold. Joss wanted it, ached for it. Tomorrow would come soon enough, crippling him. Maddox would be gone. Tonight was all he would get. The heat of Maddox’s skin against his palms kept Joss grounded. The emptiness clawing away at his stomach eased as he ate at Maddox’s mouth. He was the only thing that made Joss feel full. Maddox was the only one—period. His heart slammed against his sternum and his stomach plummeted as Maddox hooked his ankle and took him to the floor. Before he hit, Maddox braced his fall, proving his strength as he covered Joss’ body with his.

  “Bedroom?” Joss suggested, incapa
ble of forming more than one word.

  “Later.” The promise in Maddox’s tone had Joss’ cock twitching. Joss tugged at Maddox’s shirt until he gave in, allowing Joss to pull it over his head. He tossed it aside. He hadn’t seen Maddox like this in a long time—shirtless with his jeans undone. Goddamn, it was arresting. His body had always been sexy. After years of gyming it—fuck. Joss was trying his damnedest to stroke every hardened line, completely convinced he could memorize them if he tried. There was a deep indention running the length of Maddox’s stomach. Joss wanted to lick it. His mouth watered in his desire.

  Maddox kept him pinned to the floor by straddling his hips. His face was tight with lust and something else. Joss was too turned on to decipher it. Maddox pushed Joss’ shirt up an inch, massaging each freshly exposed strip of flesh as he went. For a moment, Joss wondered if his mind would withstand the torture. He burned. By the time Maddox worked the material over Joss’ head, Joss was panting as if he’d ran a marathon.

  The pressure that had begun at his toes was already tightening his balls and making his dick leak. Joss craved and longed in a way he couldn’t recall ever experiencing. He was instantly thankful Maddox hadn’t chosen to challenge him tonight the way he’d done the night of the wedding reception. Joss didn’t know if he could lie with Maddox holding him like this. It was worth it. He was the worst sort of motherfucker because he couldn’t regret it. If he took back the things he’d done, there’d be nothing left of his heart.

  Everything Sophie had said was true. He loved Maddox. It made him conniving and ruthless. No matter how hard he’d wanted to let Maddox be happy with someone else, he couldn’t. While others might fear how far they’d go to hang on to the other half of themselves, Joss knew his limits. He had none. Incapable of stopping, Joss sat up and buried his nose in the crook of Maddox’s neck. With his arms wrapped around Maddox's waist, Joss drew the other man’s scent into his lungs.