Disorder in the House [How the West Was Done 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Karen Mercury

  A renewed burst of owl hoots, much louder this time and increasing in urgency, sounded directly behind Shady’s writhing body. It would have been humorous the way Shady jolted stiff as though hit by a lightning bolt if he hadn’t fallen directly back onto the pointed tip of a mastodon rib. The one he hadn’t been able to stomp into dusty smidgens.

  Levi’s jaw hung loose when he saw Shady wriggling around, the tip of the rib protruding from his side, directly between two of his own ribs, presumably. That was astounding! Garrett certainly knew how to make some convincing owl sounds.

  “All right, Shady,” Levi said calmly. Squatting down next to the writhing agent, Levi was able to shackle both hands together at the small of his back before he sat down, too, to ponder how best to get the dinosaur rib out of Shady.

  “You know, you’re wrong, Shadrack,” Levi told his associate. “You’re stealing from the government when you’re selling these supplies and lining your own pocket.”

  “Get this damned thing out of me!” Shady howled.

  “I don’t think that would be helpful,” said Levi. “I think that dinosaur rib is the only thing holding your liver inside.” He thought. “If that medicine man hadn’t of run off, maybe his mumbo jumbo could help you, don’t you think?”

  At last, Shady fainted from the pain or loss of blood. Levi started wondering where Garrett had gone. Just as he thought this, Garrett himself appeared over the lip of the knoll but directly opposite where the owl hoots had emanated from. He hauled the hostile wakan man by the arm. The fellow was so reluctant to come, his feet dragged against the grass.

  Garrett’s mouth turned into an O when he saw the immobile Shady, seemingly a goner. “How the hell did you get that bone into him?”

  Levi said, “The issue here is more like how the hell did you make those owl sounds when you were way over on that side of this knoll?” Levi pointed to where the hoots had come from. “Were you ever over there?”

  Garrett frowned. “Not at all. Hey, I don’t think you should take that bone out of his back. He’s liable to bleed to death before we get him back to the fort.”

  “And wouldn’t that be a shame,” Levi agreed.

  “Well, I need to know where my wife’s ring is first, before he dies. You have another pair of bracelets for this fellow, don’t you? I don’t look forward to keeping him in line until we can get back to his camp.”

  Levi had another pair of bracelets he had meant for Moses Taggart, and as he walked to his horse to retrieve them, a bewildering and beautiful thing happened. An enormous snowy owl suddenly rose overhead, its blocky, fluffy body ruffling with the air current. Levi instinctively put up an arm to shield his head, especially after the encounter with the bald eagle the other night.

  But the owl merely landed near his horse, blinking at him with its gleaming yellow eyes, outlined like a fancy prairie flower’s. It shivered as though cold, looking from Levi to Garrett with some sort of expectations.

  Levi and Garrett looked at each other. Garrett said something to the wakan man, who answered back.

  “He says this owl has been possessed by the spirit of a white man.”

  The wakan man yammered some more, and Garrett interpreted, “A white man who wished for something bad to happen to Shady.”

  “Caleb?” Levi whispered, looking from Garrett to the owl.

  The owl blinked but did not turn into Caleb, so Levi put the bracelets on the medicine man, and they went to inspect Shady’s saddlebags. They were lucky to find the ring formerly belonging to Garrett’s wife, although Garrett could find nothing resembling the necklace a coworker of Liberty’s had claimed was stolen from her. That they might find when they found Moses.

  They set off toward Brave Buffalo’s village. It wasn’t an easy journey, for they had to lift the entire mastodon rib along with the unconscious Shady and drape him across the skirt over the horse’s back, trussed up like a dead deer.

  In Brave Buffalo’s camp, Garrett let them know their wakan man had been deceiving them, but as suspected, no one bought it. Levi was forced to release the medicine man, but when they saw Shady with the mastodon bone sticking through his ribs, they were quite prompt in agreeing to allow him to shackle Shady to a lodge pole until they could come back for him.

  “We should’ve asked them if they wanted to allow their medicine man to treat him.” Levi grinned as they rode away in the direction Caleb’s map had indicated they would find Paddy’s wife’s jewelry.

  * * * *

  Paddy’s cache turned out to be only a quarter mile from the encampment.

  “No wonder Paddy has it in for Shady and Moses,” Garrett commented as he dismounted. “They’ve been perpetrating their flimflam directly over where he stashed his wife’s goods.”

  They wandered around, looking for two triangular rocks angled together to make a pyramid at slightly higher than eye level. The grotto did have a mystical feel that brought gooseflesh to Garrett’s shoulders.

  Garrett said, “I’m wondering what we’re supposed to do with this jewelry once we find it. Who will we return it to, for instance?”

  Levi said, “No one ever said it was specifically jewelry. For all we know, it’s just a jar of his mother’s special jam recipe.”

  “Or another map leading us somewhere else.” Garrett sighed. “I’d really like to get back to town tonight. Oh, wait. What’s this?”

  The second Garrett saw the mossy, triangular rocks, he was struck with one of those odd feelings. The feeling that he had seen this exact thing not very long ago. It usually came in the form of a hunch that he may have dreamed this exact thing, but it was always very difficult to pinpoint the time when he had this dream. The feeling always evaporated as quickly as it came, leaving just an impression that he was repeating the identical actions he committed earlier in the dream. Repeating them over again, as it were.

  So when Levi’s hand moved to pull back a triangular rock, Garrett already knew what lay in the opening behind it. “It’s a bag,” he blurted out.

  “What?”

  “There’s a bag in there full of eagles’ quills.”

  Levi looked strangely at him but didn’t question his knowledge. And sure enough, when he removed the second triangular rock and allowed Garrett to stick his hand into the dark cave, Garrett came away holding a leather bag. Mossy and moldy but capable of protecting the eagles’ quills he knew he’d find in there.

  At least a hundred quills spilled over Garrett’s palms, and he instantly knew by their weight they contained gold dust. They had been stoppered with clods of packed dirt, and Garrett gave one to Levi to open up. Levi shook the bright dust into his hand and looked up meaningfully at his partner.

  Garrett said, “Last night. I had a vision. I saw a hand stuffing this bag into the rocks. It must’ve been Paddy’s hand.” He was almost as thrilled to know that he’d seen Paddy’s very hand as to realize that he held a fortune.

  “How long ago, though, did he cache this stuff here?” Levi asked.

  “There was a big gold fever up near South Pass last July. Paddy must’ve been alive as of then to have amassed this much gold.”

  “What else is in the bag?”

  A folded piece of moldy parchment turned out to be a gold claim. It verified Garrett’s suspicion that Paddy had been mining around South Pass, because the claim was ownership in a Carissa Lode. And the owner’s name was Patrick Worth.

  Levi’s eyes shone. “Old Paddy! He sure was an industrious fellow.”

  “Sioux attacked some miners around South Pass last summer, drove everyone away. I wonder if Paddy means for us to reopen his claim.”

  “We can find out by consulting the talking board when we get back. The Mormon Trail goes right through South Pass.”

  They replaced the triangular rocks and strolled back to their mounts like pigs in clover, just chattering away about the gold and old Paddy.

  “How much gold do you figure this is?” Garrett asked.

  “Can you tell by hefting
it how many pounds it is?”

  “Well, subtracting the weight of the bag—the quills don’t weigh anything worth recording—I’d say there are at least five pounds here.”

  “The going exchange rate is eighteen dollars an ounce,” said Levi. “Now, if we figure—ho, what’s this?”

  For Garrett had put his foot through a board. Levi instantly drew his pistol as though the board would bite them, but Garrett knew what it was.

  Squatting, he gently lifted the board from the clay into which it had been compacted. “A headstone.” And, as certainly as if he’d seen it also in a vision beforehand, he made out the hand-carved lettering. “Patrick Worth. Eighteen twenty-nine to death in eighteen sixty-seven. Last year,” he added needlessly.

  Levi was crouched down next to him, breathing onto Garrett’s neck. “Carpe diem,” he read reverently from the tombstone.

  Garrett recounted solemnly, “‘Pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.’”

  Simultaneously they both looked up at the sky.

  “Thank you, Paddy,” Garrett whispered.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Liberty absolutely flung her arms around Levi’s neck when he returned to Laramie.

  It was no matter that he smelled of dust and grass and he had a corpse slung over his horse that seemed to have an enormous bone sticking out of its back. No matter that a hundred people were watching, including her father. She was going to throw her arms around her beloved and squeeze him until his eyes popped.

  Levi had telegraphed ahead from Sherman Summit about his triumphant return with Shady Barnhart and Moses Taggart. They had discovered Moses trying to trade a necklace of porcelain beads to a Sioux chief for a large hunk of land, and he’d been easily arrested. The Fort Sanders post commander, a Lieutenant Colonel Joseph Potter, was on hand to receive the prisoners, after Dr. Wallis figured out how to remove the dinosaur bone from Shady’s back.

  For now, it was simply divine to breathe in her beloved’s aroma as men who didn’t even know Levi crowded around to shake his hand.

  “Is that really a dinosaur bone?” Liberty at last asked, watching three men attempt to remove the body from the horse without jamming the bone any farther. Only a few men were shaking Garrett’s hand, fellow soldiers from the fort. She didn’t dare embrace him as avidly as she had just embraced Levi. There probably would have been a larger welcoming crowd if some of the townspeople had not been the beneficiaries of Shady’s trading schemes.

  “Believe it or not, it is. A mammoth bone.”

  A rather short, energetic fellow with an overlarge nose grabbed Levi by the arm. He held a pad and pencil. “I’m Henry Zuckerkorn, journalist for the Frontier Index.”

  Levi smiled widely. “Oh, a fellow journalist. What can I do for you?”

  “Well, if you could tell me, how did Shady come to have a dinosaur bone sticking through his ribs?”

  Henry Zuckerkorn. The name rang a bell with Liberty. Without forethought, she found herself asking, “Are you the fellow who enjoys spanking the prairie flowers?”

  “That’s right,” said Levi. “That’s amazing you recall that, Liberty. Yes, Zuckerkorn. That’s the name we heard. Spanking them while they’re dressed as schoolgirls, am I correct?”

  Zuckerkorn’s face blanched. “How did you…”

  Liberty shook Levi by the arm. “Dearest. This man wants to write an article about your heroic arrest of the crooked Indian agent. Why don’t you give him the story about the dinosaur bone?”

  But Zuckerkorn was already gone, darting like a fugitive into the crowd.

  After many dinner and fandango invitations, they were able to extricate themselves and head down Grand Avenue to the schoolhouse. While her men had been gone, Liberty had paid a couple of tracklayers to build more desks and chairs. A couple of bog hoppers who had been tracklayers painted her building a bright apple red. Her shipment of schoolbooks and slates had arrived, and she already had more than enough students to pack the classroom.

  She would have to set a date for her first class. She sadly knew it would be the end of an era—the happiest era of her life. It had been the ultimate gift, having the freedom to reenact scenes from The Pleasure of a Woman manuscript with her two men.

  She walked between both men as they rode. She tried to speak lightly and casually. “The school is almost ready to open.” The very air around them became heavier with the implications of this. She really didn’t need to say, “We’ll need to find a new place to meet.” That was already weighing on everyone’s minds.

  Liberty was surprised, however, to hear Garrett say, “I think we may have a solution for that.”

  “Wait till we get to the house,” Levi assured her.

  While Garrett criticized the workmanship of the new desks and Levi watered and unpacked the horses, Liberty opened a bottle of champagne she had smuggled from Vancouver House. Levi would like it, and she thought she’d have a glass as well. Having been a teetotaler, liquor affected her more strongly than most. She could get roostered after a few sips.

  So she tried it out first. Hmm. The bubbles effervesced in her nostrils and made her forehead feel airy, but she definitely wasn’t roostered. She should try some more.

  She nearly spat out a mouthful when Levi’s voice came unexpectedly close to her shoulder. “My dear,” he declared. “You’ve changed quite a bit in the short time we’ve been gone. Drinking? In the daytime?”

  “Very funny.” She slapped his shoulder lightly. Then she straightened his necktie. “I imagine you’ve changed quite a bit, though. Your first task as new Indian agent, and you’ve caught the culprit who was ruining your business. Stealing from the government.”

  Levi sighed. “I know there are some in town who won’t be congratulating me. Citizens who benefited from Shady’s dealings. We can probably get the land back for the Indians, but obviously the supplies are long gone.” His soulful brown eyes shimmered with emotion. Abruptly, he fell to his knees before her. She assumed he intended to lift her skirts and bury his head under them, which was fine with her, but he only took her hand.

  He addressed her, those radiant eyes pleading. “Liberty Hudson, I have been in love with you since the second I first saw you on the train. I want nothing more than to treat you gently, and I will never take for granted the small measures of your love and friendship. I will always love you with my heart first and then my body.”

  He was quoting from the sensual manuscript, and Ivy was pleased he’d obviously read the entire thing. But this was some elaborate way of getting his head under her skirts.

  He went on, “I know I don’t have much to offer such a stunning, talented woman as you. But I’d be forever honored if you would accept my proposal of marriage.” He seemed to become a little embarrassed then, for he added with a quirky smile, “You are one hellcat of a vixen, Miss Hudson. I want to devote my entire life to making you happy.”

  Overwhelming emotion rushed through Liberty’s breast. She had to sit, her knees were so weak. She blindly reached behind her for a chair, and Garrett raced forward and placed one under her. What was that wet stuff on her face? Blue blazes. I’m crying!

  Garrett shoved something into Levi’s palm. Levi looked at it, at first with surprise. Then a smile of recognition spread over his stately face, and he offered the shiny thing to Liberty. She had to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand to see that it looked like a ring. A ring that Garrett handed to Levi?

  Now Garrett got down on one knee next to Levi and put his hand on Liberty’s knee. “What do you say, Liberty? Levi would like to put Sadie’s ring on your finger, because after meeting you, I can’t imagine ever loving another woman as much as I love you. Right, Levi?”

  “Right,” Levi said and slipped the silver ring on.

  “Oh, Garrett. I love you, too.” Liberty laughed through her snot. “But I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet,” she pointed out.

  “Oh.” Levi sobered up. “That’s right. You haven’t. Will you marry me
, Liberty?”

  “Yes.”

  Levi flung his arms around her and squeezed her so tightly she couldn’t breathe. But it was just as well, because her eyes were brimming with tears and her nose running down her lip. When Levi pressed his open mouth to hers in a lusty kiss, all she could think was, oh well. I suppose this is what married people do. Kiss snotty faces.

  She kissed Garrett then, too, and admired the sapphire ring. Levi shouted out the door for a nearby loafer to go get him another champagne bottle and one for himself while he was at it.

  Garrett cleared off the talking board, moving coffee cups and a box of chalk. He told Liberty, “Levi wanted to ask you that before we told you about our discovery. Remember the map Caleb drew us, showing us something Paddy wanted us to find?”

  “Of course. Did it turn out to be his wife’s jewelry?”

  Garrett allowed Levi to answer. “Not exactly. More like five pounds worth of gold dust and a claim to some mine in South Pass. So we need to ask Paddy what he wants us to do with it.”

  “Five pounds?” Liberty cried. “Remember? Caleb said he’d move on into the spirit realm once you found whatever it was he wanted you to find. Maybe he just wants you to keep it.”

  “Well,” said Garrett, seating himself opposite Liberty. “As much as I’ll miss old Patrick Worth—we found his gravestone, did we tell you? He died last year—I guess I’d prefer knowing he was happy on the other side.”

  “Unlike that poor greengrocer Zeke keeps harassing,” Liberty added.

  Levi rolled his eyes. “Poor Ernest. He’s doomed to float in no-man’s-land between the living and the dead as long as Zeke keeps giving him grief.”

  Garrett put his fingers on the planchette. “Let’s check in with Paddy, if he’s still there. Paddy, what do you want us to do with this gold?”

  Liberty tried to quiet her racing mind as she mentally called for Garrett’s spirit guide. Five pounds of gold would be the answer to their prayers, but they could certainly not go against a dead man’s wishes. And before Garrett even spoke, the rappings that sometimes came began to sound against all four walls. This time, they banged out a rhythmic pattern, as though playing along to a snappy number like “The Yellow Rose of Texas.”