Friction (The Frenzy Series Book 4)

by Casey L. Bond

  I approached him slowly. Part of me wanted his help, but the other part was testing him. Rain sluiced down too-long strands of his hair and poured in rivulets down his face and neck. His clothes were soaked and in a matter of moments, I was too. He didn’t bother looking up at me. He knew I was there.

  “I can’t heal your lovers’ spat.”

  “I’m not asking you to.”

  He sat back on his haunches as thunder shook the earth; violent and demanding. “What do you want?”

  “Do you know Delilah?”

  A slow smile spread across his lips. “Of course I do. Are you jealous? Is she toying with Tage?”

  White hot rage filtered through my veins. “Is she?”

  He chuckled and stood up. “Not that I’m aware of. Seems she’s more into your brother.”

  “Do you know her scent?”

  He looked up at the angry sky. “I... I can’t smell her. Could just be the storm, though.”

  “It could be, but the thing is, I never can pick up her scent when Ford isn’t around, and she disappears as soon as he leaves.”

  “Strange things are afoot.” He grinned. “I love the scent of a spring thunderstorm.”

  I looked all around me at the thrashing tree limbs in the forest beyond the wall, water falling down the stones of the wall itself, and the thunderous torrents running down the mountain. Rain fell sideways, pelting both of us until it stung, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was perfect. Gritty and angry and everything I was feeling on the inside.

  “If it’s bothering you, let’s see if we can find the little minx. I’ll go left.”

  I smiled. “I’ll go right. Meet me at the top?”

  “Beat you to the top!” he yelled, leaving me standing alone in the rain, watching his rapidly retreating back.

  Roman didn’t find her scent and neither did I. It was like she had vanished, but she had to be here somewhere. Anger and frustration leaked from Saul. I could feel it pouring from him. No doubt he was sitting in the forest watching everyone get comfortable in the Colony and city.

  Evening fell, leaving me wet and cold. Tage was still being stubborn. He was in his usual spot, which left only me and Roman, and we didn’t need a fire to cook things. I could eat raw meat, if there was any to be had, and Roman only needed blood. It was still storming and the rain would extinguish a fire faster than we could fight to keep it lit. Drying out wasn’t an option.

  “You’re shivering,” Roman said from his chair as I laid on the makeshift bed he’d lain so ill in when we first arrived.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You’re stubborn.” So was Tage.

  “Ford said he would start at dawn instead of mid-morning,” I continued, ignoring his statement. “That means he’ll arrive sooner and we can get home, and then hopefully Saul can find meat for the Colony.”

  “And for you – when is the last time you had anything other than Garreth’s blood the other day?”

  “It’s been awhile.” The earthen walls were closing in on me. The space seemed smaller and smaller with each passing breath.

  “Tage told me what happened.”

  I sat up. “He did?”

  Roman nodded. “Can’t blame him for being angry. Any guy would get pissed.”

  “I didn’t mean it the way he’s taking it.”

  “Does it matter whether you meant it a different way than he interpreted it? He’s angry and has a right to be. You don’t trust him.”

  “I don’t trust anyone.”

  “You trust Saul.”

  “I do not.” I didn’t. I might be okay with having him in my presence and was trying to be friends again, but I still didn’t trust him for the important things. I would never again trust him with my heart, and maybe that was why I didn’t trust Tage completely with it. It had been battered, bruised, torn out, and put back in. Everything was so new.

  Or maybe it was Mother’s words constantly resounding in my head as though she were haunting me. Who could ever bring themselves to love you, Porschia?

  Did I even know what love looked like? Felt like?

  At one time I thought Saul loved me and that I loved him back, even through all of the muddled mess of the rotation, Tage’s strong come-ons, and Roman’s confusion. I thought Saul was it for me. Or at least I convinced myself he was.

  Maybe it wasn’t Tage I didn’t trust.

  Maybe it was me.

  But how did I tell him that?

  “I can see steam pouring from your ears. You’re overthinking this.”

  “Maybe, but I think I just had an epiphany.”

  “Big words for such a small girl.”

  I groaned, wishing I knew a way to mend everything with Tage. Roman watched from his chair, his dark eyes taking in too much of everything around him. I preferred him human.

  Then he muttered the strangest thing. “Though she be but little, she is fierce.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Shakespeare.” Seeing the blank look on my face, he added, “Never mind.”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  He picked at his cuticles. “It is. But ferocity doesn’t always win the fight, Porschia.”

  My heart sank. Did he know?

  Porschia’s body was trembling, so she laid back down and folded herself into the fetal position. It was going to be a long night. I let out a sigh. The wind howled outside the door. The wood clattered violently against its metal lock, making Porschia jump a foot into the air. She sat up and we watched as it was torn open and stood straight out on its hinges, the rain pouring over it in small rivers.

  Gusts blew Porschia’s hair everywhere. She’d been wearing it down more since the incident at The Manor. She wasn’t cut out for this, for killing, but she damn sure was a survivor. I’d give her that.

  “How is it just standing open?”

  “The wind? Or maybe it’s broken,” I stood and walked toward it, catching the most delectable aroma. It was earthy and rich; spices and maybe myrrh? I’d only smelled it once, but maybe it was enough to remember it. I stood still, trying to inhale as much of the scent as I could, to commit it to memory.

  “What’s wrong, Roman?”

  “Nothing at all. Do you smell that?”

  She sniffed the air and stood up, moving toward me. “What is that? It’s...amazing.”

  Suddenly the scent was gone. Faster than it had wafted in, it was gone. Porschia looked at me, her lip curled in disgust. I couldn’t see the irises of her eyes at all. The ashy green color was gone. Just black remained.

  She growled. “I should kill you right now.”

  “For what?” Fire licked its way through my veins, my heart supplying its oxygen, fueling the flames. “All I’ve ever done is help you!”

  “Did you help me when you used my mother as a test subject? When you followed me around like a sad fucking puppy all year? Was that helping me, Roman?”

  “We needed a cure, and I don’t have to defend my actions to you. You aren’t judge and jury over everyone, Porschia, but you sure as hell act like it. I’m beneath you because of what I did to your Mom, okay? I’m sorry! I’m fucking sorry. If I could go back in time and make another choice, I would. And at the manor, how you failed to keep my brother safe from those witches, I’m sure you’d erase that shit, too. I see how it eats at you. You say you’re fine, that you’ve made peace with the situation, with yourself and with Saul, but I say bullshit! You are hanging on by a very fine, very frayed thread. And if you don’t watch out, I’ll bite the fucker in half!”

  “I don’t think you can,” she teased, a half-crazed smile on her face. “You’re not stronger than me anymore. You aren’t stronger than anyone. You’re just a night-walker. And if nothing else, we’ve all learned that there are much worse things out there.” She pointed angrily toward the black storm raging outside the door, which still stood open.

  Where did this anger come from all of a sudden?

  I didn’t have a chance to think of anything else be
fore she plowed into me, her shoulder into my stomach. My head and back hit the wall just as a clap of thunder vibrated through the earth and sky. Porschia tried to sink her tiny fangs into my throat, but hell no. That wasn’t happening. I used everything in me to push her back, my biceps and shoulders straining from the effort. Everything in me was holding her away from me, but I was weaker than her. She was right.

  Thank God Tage wasn’t a complete asshole. He blurred into the room and pulled her off me. She kicked and thrashed against him, but he held tight until the storm in her calmed. It took over an hour of both of us trying to subdue her until she finally relaxed and fell asleep on Tage’s chest.

  I finally breathed out, the tension ebbing from my body. “What was that? One minute she was cold and resting, and the next she was insane.”

  Tage shook his head. “I felt the anger swell and I’ve never felt her get that angry before.”

  “She was going to kill me, and the crazy thing was, I was almost as angry as she was. I felt like throttling her.”

  “Over what?”

  I shook my head. All I knew was that she was laying there, the door flew open, and then Porschia attacked. Nothing about it made sense.

  “I have no idea.”

  Tage stroked Porschia’s hair gently and leaned back against the dirt wall. I collapsed into the only chair in the place.

  “I’m not saying this to piss you off,” I started, “but could she be overwhelmed with Saul’s emotions?”

  Tage’s lips thinned into a tight line. “Could be.”

  “It’s just weird, that’s all. We were fine! She was going to sleep, and then the storm kicked up and the door flew open. That’s when she attacked me, unprovoked and out of nowhere.”

  Tage shook his head. “I don’t know. Nothing makes sense anymore.”

  Ford guided the horse and wagon back into Mountainside’s gates for the final time. The people were ready. They had packed everything they could carry, and that included the last of the plants everyone had been digging up. I met him and offered a bucket of water to his horse, Boots, stroking his mane and cooing at him. He was a beautiful creature.

  Smiling brightly, Ford jumped down from the wagon. “Hey, Delilah. He needs to rest before we make the trip back.”

  “I’ll care for him,” I said sweetly.

  “I’d appreciate that. I know he would, too.” Ford cared for Boots so it was important for me to show that I shared the same sentiment. For now.

  I pushed my hair behind my ears, drawing attention to the beautiful face I’d created. “What is Blackwater like?”

  “Are you worried?” he asked sincerely.

  “Yes. It’s silly, I know. But it’s different, and I think everyone fears change once they’ve become comfortable.” He smiled with his eyes and lips. Brushing his fingers through his short, wheat-colored hair, he looked up at me.

  “There’s no shame in being worried. Blackwater has changed lately, too, but for the better. We’re governed by a council. The Colony itself is really a suburb of a larger city, one that once thrived. We survived because of a simple concrete flood wall that the Infected couldn’t climb over and a strong river they couldn’t cross. But with the cure, a lot of people are choosing to live in the city. The housing in Blackwater is full now, so the city is the only option for you.” He looked at me apologetically.

  “That’s fine. Any shelter is better than nothing, which is what I currently have. I can’t go home. It’s not safe.”

  “What about The Glen? Tell me about it.”

  “It was also made safe by a wall. You know, I really should get Boots something to eat.”

  “Yeah.” Ford shook his head. “Let me unharness him real fast.” He was young and worked fast to free the great horse. I gave him a demure smile as I led his stallion away.

  This wouldn’t take nearly as long as I thought.

  When I woke, Tage was lying beside me, watching me. “Hey,” I said, slowly blinking awake. My arms and legs felt like lead.

  “Hey,” he answered softly, with no anger lacing his voice. I wanted to ask him why he was there, why he wasn’t mad anymore. What changed? But I held my tongue.

  The nickering of a horse in the distance caught my attention and I sat up fast. “Ford is here? Already?”

  Tage sat up, too. “Do you remember anything about last night?”

  I tried to remember. “The storm?”

  “Yes, there was a storm. You also attacked Roman.”

  My eyes widened and I sucked in a sharp breath. Roman wasn’t there. “Is he okay?”

  Tage nodded. “He’s fine. I intervened in time.”

  An awful thought flittered into my mind, delicate as falling ash and just like it, a remnant of what burned within me. “What if you hadn’t?”

  “Let’s not worry about the what ifs. Do you know why you snapped?” he asked cautiously.

  I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything but being cold and laying here, and then the sound of the thunder and wind.”

  “You don’t remember me holding you away from Roman? Or Roman and I both holding you down?”

  I swallowed thickly. “I don’t.” Why didn’t I remember? Did I really attack him?

  “It did happen, Porschia. It wasn’t a dream or a hallucination.”

  “No, I... I don’t remember a dream or anything about it at all.”

  Roman swung the door open from the outside. “Morning, sunshine. Feeling homicidal?”

  “Not particularly,” I answered honestly.

  Tage looked at Roman. “She doesn’t remember anything.”

  “You don’t remember any of what happened last night?” he asked, brows raised.

  Tage just shook his head.

  “Seriously?” Roman asked, crouching down in front of me.

  “I swear, Roman. I didn’t mean to try and hurt you, and I don’t remember anything but laying here, being freezing cold, and the violence of the storm outside.”

  He pinned me with a look, one I returned. Something was happening here, and it wasn’t good.

  Then Roman opened his mouth. “Saul’s back.”

  “Is Ford okay?” Porschia asked, leaping to her feet in a panic. “Is my brother okay? Why didn’t you tell me if he was here and safe?”

  “Yeah,” Roman said slowly. “He’s good. And he literally just arrived. Why are you so panicked about Ford?”

  Porschia clawed at her throat absently. “I’m not sure.”

  “Are you okay?” I asked, leaning in to watch her movements.

  “Yeah,” she said absently. “I’m fine.”

  Her pale blue dress was wrinkled and her hair lay in tangles down her back. Porschia didn’t look like herself. Even in the rotation, she took great care to braid and pin her hair back. And she sure as hell wasn’t acting right.

  Before she reached the door, she clutched her stomach. “Oh, God.”

  “What’s wrong?” I yelled, running to her and looking her over.

  With wide, terrified eyes and trembling lips she asked, “What if my blood turns him into a monster?”

  “Who?”

  “Saul,” Roman answered for her.

  “What if he’s like me now?” she asked fearfully.

  “What if he is?” I growled. “It was his choice!”

  “I asked him to feed from me! It was my doing!” Palms to her temples, she paced, gritting her teeth and letting out a sorrowful, frustrated keening sound I’d never heard. “I may have damned him.”

  Roman smiled and eased toward her, palms outstretched. “If he were human, your blood would have done something to him, like with Lydia. But Saul had already changed. It wouldn’t affect him at all, other than to nourish and satisfy a base need.”

  She gasped and held her heart. Crimson tears flowed from her face, splashing onto the dirt floor underfoot. “I thought I’d killed him. I don’t want to kill anyone ever again. Ever again. Ever again,” she muttered, staring at the door as if the wood were strong enoug
h to contain her should she want out. “Ever again,” she said brokenly.

  I hoped she wouldn’t have to. Porschia was disintegrating, and it wouldn’t take much to wash the remnants of her completely away.

  Roman approached me before I even stepped out of the gate. He refused to elaborate when I tried to question him, but said to watch out for Porschia and that something was ‘off’ with her today. She wasn’t feeling well or something. And he asked me twice if I felt sick or strange. I didn’t – I felt fine, but worried for Porschia, obviously.

  Tage was sticking close to her side on the opposite hill as we walked along, guarding the wagon and the last people fleeing Mountainside. I vowed to guard them, but didn’t know what I’d do with myself after they crossed into Blackwater.

  Roman and Ford said they would go to the council and ask them to reconsider, but I knew they wouldn’t reverse their decision—not so soon after making it. Doing so would show weakness and they couldn’t afford that right now, not with the chaos of taking in so many new residents at one time and the pressures that came with feeding and housing them all. Would these people want to be governed in the same way as our citizens?

  There would be growing pains. It was inevitable.

  The wagon rumbled through the valley, staying low. Ford took them through the flattest trail he could, one he’d tramped down himself. He was a good kid and looked awfully comfortable with Delilah sitting on the bench beside him. Porschia felt uneasy about her, but she hadn’t done anything bad that I could tell. Porschia looked out for Ford as best she could after Mercedes fell. I hated to tell her, but he was almost a man. He could take care of himself. If he liked Delilah, there was nothing she could do about it.

  I walked alone the majority of the way until the wagon came to the river crossing. The storm last night had swollen it, but not so much that it couldn’t be crossed if the people were off the wagon. So they unloaded, leaving their baskets and belongings. Women held onto their children and old men held the hands of their wives, placing each step carefully along the riverbed.

  Ford guided the horse across the current, its muscles straining to free the wagon wheels from the rocks and muck. I was about to offer a push when Roman splashed into the water. The horse bent his head to look at what was behind him and then found that he would rather pull the wagon than face a night-walker. I chuckled and watched as the horse won the battle, Ford stopping him on the far side of the river. Roman helped the stragglers across, but the horse never let the vampire out of his sight, pawing at the ground and flaring his nostrils.