Imagined Love

by Diamond Drake

  He was nearly in tears when Jade told him about Young Phillips and her connection to Quik Stop. Pierce found the whole thing incredible, but more than

  anything he felt it validated what he already believed to be true. Jade was his soul mate. She actually began to cry when she realized Mr. Phillips had found a way to keep his promise to her. He had let her know when the right guy came along.

  Caught up in the emotions of her story, Pierce embraced Jade. She had to let go fairly quickly, though, because the electricity between them had the potential for trouble. Even with all the talk of being soul mates, Jade didn’t want to ruin things by jumping into a sexual relationship. At least that’s what she kept telling herself despite how incredibly attracted she was to him.

  It was almost midnight but Pierce and Jade were having such a good time that neither of them wanted the date to end. So he warmed the remainder of the arroz con pollo for her and they sat on the living room floor talking and laughing like old friends.

  “What?” Pierce asked when he noticed the smile on Jade’s face. “What are you thinking about?”

  “I just remembered the crazy thing that ran through my mind when I first saw you. It won’t really make sense to you but Katrina would’ve known . . .”

  “Tell me anyway.”

  “Okay, well my very first thought was, see I told Katrina I was gonna marry Bruce Leroy Green! Now I know that probably sounds nuts but . . .”

  “Oh no,” Pierce laughed heartily. “My boys called me Bruce Leroy for years! They’re gonna fall out laughing when they hear that. I can’t believe it,” he laughed louder. “I didn’t think I looked anything like him.”

  “I wouldn’t say you looked just like him but definitely similar. The goatee and length of your hair makes you a sexier, more mature version of him. Aw, man, you just don’t know how much I used to love me some Bruce Leroy! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched that movie. I still have the tape at home. It was always between Leroy and Ozone from Breakin’. I used to watch that just as . . .”

  “Jade, I’ve got a son,” Pierce blurted.

  She was caught completely off guard. “You do?”

  “Yeah, I do. He’s the four-year-old you almost trampled to death running out of my store that day,” he smirked. “Dane and my nephews came in and I knew my son was gonna be like, Daddy, Daddy, and that’s what I was freaking out about. Even though we hadn’t talked for very long, I knew I wanted you in my life. We definitely had a connection and I was worried you wouldn’t take the time to know me if you found out about Dane right then and there. I mean, Landon mentioned your trouble with Levi’s daughter and I didn’t know if you had decided not to ever date men with kids again,” Pierce said. “Don’t get me wrong, though, I’m not ashamed of my son. I love him to death. It’s just that everything was happening so fast. I met you and had all these feelings I’d never felt before. And then my sister and the boys came back early and I just got flustered. I was so

  focused on Dane that I never considered what it must have looked like to you. I’m glad I already had your number or I might never have seen you again. Well no, I guess we would’ve met again with you being Hawn’s wedding planner. I keep forgetting that. And to think, I could’ve met you a long time ago if I had let her set us up like she’d tried so hard to do.”

  “It seems that fate had it all worked out. And I’m glad.”

  “You are?” Pierce smiled, relieved to hear her say that.

  “Yes, I am. I had feelings I’d never felt before for you too,” Jade blushed. “And just so you know, I haven’t decided not to ever date men with kids again. I think when the relationship is right everything will fall into place.” They smiled at each other. “So what about Dane’s mother? Do you still love her?”

  Pierce seemed horrified by that question. He indicated it was an extremely long story and asked if she had the time or interest to hear it all. When Jade said yes, he refreshed their glasses of lemonade, got comfy on the couch, and started from the beginning. Pierce had never gone into details with anyone about his relationship with Tina and was surprised by how natural and easy it felt to do so with Jade. He truly felt like he could tell her anything and that scared and fascinated him. So he began by sharing with her the fact that he had never loved Dane’s mother and if it weren’t for his son, Pierce would wish he’d never met her!

  In his teenage years, Pierce’s mother and sisters tried hard to keep him pure and wholesome. Whenever fast girls or desperate grown women tried to make a play for him, one of them was always there to run interference. Pierce’s first few sexual experiences were in some of the oddest places because he was hardly ever out of the sight of his family. When he wasn’t at school or home Luisa had him in church or participating in sports or other extracurricular activities. And although Pierce knew his family meant well, he was overwhelmed and frustrated not to be able to be young and free to experience women like other boys his age.

  The constant supervision was the main reason Pierce chose to attend college in San Diego where his oldest sister Eva lived with her husband. She was strict like the rest of his family but Gerard often intervened on Pierce’s behalf and told them to back off and just let him be a man. Luisa and her daughters feared he would be out sleeping around like Jackie but Pierce wasn’t that kind of guy. Witnessing the pain his father’s philandering and lying caused deterred him from wanting to go down that path. Though, he wasn’t an angel by any stretch of the imagination. Pierce definitely enjoyed the ladies and they enjoyed him too. However, once he was more mature, he preferred dealing with one woman at a time rather than trying to balance several of them. Truthfully, Pierce felt more comfortable being in a relationship and feeling like he really knew the woman as opposed to having casual

  sex with strangers. That’s why his family was stunned and devastated to learn about Tina.

  “I know it probably sounds crazy considering I was a grown man at the time, but I really wish my mother and sisters had been there to run interference that night. Maybe I wouldn’t have ruined my life,” Pierce said, his pain still evident.

  It was a week before Pierce’s graduation from college when his girlfriend of nearly a year informed him she and some of her friends were taking off for Vegas and wouldn’t be coming back. He really had cared for her and was upset by her decision to dump him. That night, Pierce and a group of his buddies went out clubbing. Normally he would have a beer or two for the entire time he was out. However, that night he downed four of them as well as a few shots of something his friends had given him. He’d been buzzed before but never anything like what he felt then. Soon after that last shot, Pierce cut loose. He was all over the dance floor and all over a few women. Tina, however, was the one he ended up with back at her apartment.

  The next day he had no idea who she was or how he’d ended up there with her. Pierce felt horrible, both physically and emotionally and promised to take Tina on a real date—a sober one. So they met up a few weeks after his graduation for dinner and a movie. Well, that’s what it was supposed to be but they didn’t even make it through the meal. Pierce and Tina hated each other! Apparently she liked the drunken idiot he’d been on the night they met much more than who he really was. And she was not at all the type of woman he wanted to be associated with. They had a few choice words for one another before parting company, never intending to see each other again. Pierce was shocked when he got a message from Tina about a month later saying she was pregnant and he was the father!

  “I honestly didn’t believe her. At that time a lot of girls were scamming dudes for money claiming they were getting an abortion when they were never even pregnant. Tina struck me as the type of person who would do something like that, so I blew her off. But when she was about six or seven months along she showed up on my job with her belly hanging out screaming that I was the father of her baby to get my attention. I still didn’t think it was mine, though. Despite not being able to remember that night to save my life, I couldn�
��t believe I would sleep with a complete stranger and not use protection. Me and my boys were adamant about wrapping it up. We’d heard too many stories about men getting burnt messing around with the wrong chick. Plus, none of us were trying to be fathers any time soon. So I convinced myself I was probably too drunk to even do anything but if I had, I’d most definitely used a condom. As far as I was concerned there was no way that baby was mine.

  “I wasn’t there for her at all. I didn’t go to any of the doctor’s appointments or do anything to prepare for a child. I hadn’t even planned on mentioning it to my

  family but Tina took care of that for me. Somehow she found out where I lived and showed up telling Eva and Gerard every little detail about that night. Eva jumped on the phone to my mother and all hell broke loose! She immediately came down to San Diego to meet with Tina and her family to figure out how we were gonna handle the situation. Everybody was acting like I was sixteen years old,” Pierce said, shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more humiliated in my life. You should’ve seen the way my mother looked at me. It was the worst combination of disappointment and disgust I’ve ever seen. She and my sisters were so hurt that I’d become that type of guy. They expected so much more from me and I felt lower than a dog for letting them and myself down.

  “Even still, I thought my mom wouldn’t believe the baby was mine just like I didn’t. But as soon as she saw Tina, despite not wanting her in our family, she told me to prepare to be a father. We had a huge fight because I said I wasn’t doing anything without a paternity test. I didn’t care what kind of women’s intuition she had or what anybody said. I didn’t wanna have a baby, least of all with someone like Tina, and I thought I could just wish it away. I was so convinced she was lying that I chose not to be there when Dane was born. I missed out on the first two weeks of my son’s life because I refused to even look at him until the test results came back,” Pierce choked up, as tears ran down his face. He still felt so ashamed of himself for choosing to be that type of man.

  Jade grabbed his hand and held it in both of hers. Then she wiped a tear from his cheek and laid her head on his shoulder. She really appreciated how vulnerable he was being even though some of the things he said were hard to hear. It brought back a lot of painful memories about Richard. However, the fact that Pierce trusted her enough to reveal himself so openly made Jade feel he deserved the same from her. So she told him about Richard, minus that he lived close by, and about her pregnancy too. Then she revealed the secret she’d vowed to take to her grave.

  “Umm,” she trembled and began to cry. “I feel like such a coward for being too scared to tell the truth. I let everyone believe I had a miscarriage when I actually had an abortion,” Jade confessed. She dropped her face into her hands and sobbed. “I got rid of my baby because I didn’t wanna be attached to a man who didn’t love me for the rest of my life. How stupid and selfish is that?” Jade cried. She never intended for anyone to know about the baby or the abortion. And if she had stayed at the clinic to be monitored as she’d been advised, no one would have.

  Pierce wrapped his arms around Jade and let her cry. She couldn’t believe she had done such a horrible thing and still hadn’t forgiven herself. And she also couldn’t believe she’d confessed it on her first date to a man she wanted to fall in love with her.

  “I think we’re going about this the wrong way,” Jade said, wiping her face with tissues. “People usually tell the best about themselves on a first date and hear we are revealing the most despicable things we’ve ever done!”

  “I know, huh?” he frowned, wondering what was wrong with them. “I guess it’s those beautiful, hypnotic eyes of yours. You got me in here bearing my soul.”

  “That’s what I was about to say to you. Your eyes are piercing and I find myself drifting away and getting lost,” Jade cooed, as she stared into them. “I’d give you anything you asked for,” she said then froze. She hadn’t meant to say that part aloud.

  “Oh!” Pierce shouted then laughed at her embarrassment.

  They joked and teased one another but eventually the conversation made its way back to Pierce’s relationship with Tina. He acknowledged that the worst part for him was the fact she didn’t want a baby any more than he did. It was like Tina carried on with the pregnancy just to spite him!

  When Pierce learned Dane was indeed his son, he cried like a baby as he apologized and vowed to never abandon him again. His family was definitely there to support him. Eva, who was expecting a baby herself, was especially helpful. She rearranged her schedule to care for Dane during the day while Pierce worked as a grocery store manager. Then he’d be up all night feeding and caring for the baby as Tina had no interest in doing so. She’d show up periodically threatening to take Dane away if Pierce didn’t do what she wanted and that led to a bunch of shouting matches between them.

  Dane was a year old when Pierce got full custody of him and decided to move back to the Bay Area near Luisa and the rest of the family. Eva was heartbroken because she adored Dane and loved having him with her. However, she knew it was best for the two of them to leave. Pierce would have more help raising his son and better opportunities to start his business. More importantly, it got the two of them away from Tina and her vindictive mother. And for six months Pierce felt like things were back on track as he and Dane settled nicely into their new life. Luisa was head over heels in love with her grandson and had finally forgiven her son. She respected him as a father and a man for stepping up and taking full responsibility for his actions. Unfortunately, he always gave Tina the power to bring out the worst in him. When she and her mother decided to move to Union City, Pierce allowed himself to exhibit a type of evil even he didn’t know existed!

  “When Tina moved out here she got herself a little job and an apartment and took me to court for joint custody. The only thing that kept me from going completely crazy when the judge granted it to her was that Tina was a flake and didn’t show up to get Dane most times. But she did show up to get him the night before his second birthday and was two hours late bringing him back for his party.

  I went to get Dane out of her car and the smell of weed nearly made me choke! His clothes, hair, and skin were saturated with the scent and I went ballistic! My mama ran out to try to calm me down but I was out of control. I honestly felt like I could’ve killed Tina! I snatched Dane’s car seat and all of his things and told her she would never see him again. I didn’t care what the judge or my mama or anybody else said. Tina wasn’t getting another chance to jeopardize my son’s life and the way I got my message across wasn’t pretty. So her boyfriend jumped out of the passenger seat and tried to jump me. While we were fighting Tina got out and bit the hell out of my back! Without even thinking I turned around and clocked her and she went limp! I was terrified because I thought I had actually killed that girl. Never before had I prayed for Tina to get up and talk but I did at that moment. She cussed me out and threatened to press charges. The only reason she didn’t was because she would have been in jail right along with me for driving under the influence and endangering a minor. Thankfully Tina and her boyfriend decided to leave and I told them not to ever come back or I would kill them.

  “When I went back inside my mama hauled off and slapped the shit out of me! I was literally seeing stars. I had never wanted to hit her before in my life but I did that day. I was so damn mad I didn’t know what to do. I thought my own mother would be on my side but she was ashamed and heartbroken to see me acting in a way so totally opposite of how I’d been raised. Her precious baby boy was out making babies out of wedlock, fighting, and behaving like someone she didn’t know. And I realize how fortunate I am because my whole life could’ve been over in that split second.

  “I said I was fighting for Dane but at that moment I wasn’t thinking about him. I hated Tina so much and I wanted to pay her back for all the hell she’d put me through. I just wanted her gone from both our lives,” Pierce admitted. “It was a horrible time in my
life and I couldn’t believe I had allowed myself to turn into such a beast. To this day I still feel guilty because my little guy deserves so much better than what I brought him in to. He deserves parents who are in love with each other and who genuinely love and care for him. Dane is a really great kid and I hate that I’ve done this to him.” The look on Pierce’s face broke Jade’s heart and tears sprang to her eyes and his.

  “Thankfully, I was able to get myself together and deal with the anger and bitterness I had. I sought out the counsel of a pastor I respected and started making some major changes in my life. I wanted to be better. But more importantly, I wanted to set a good example for my son. One of the things I’ve always resented about my father is how much of a hypocrite he is. Jackie Jamison is definitely a do as I say, not as I do type of man and I don’t wanna be that way, you know? I want Dane to know me as a man of integrity who he can trust and respect.”

  Jade stared at Pierce with a dreamy look in her eyes. She loved that he trusted her enough to be completely honest and vulnerable. There was no doubt whatsoever she was falling for him.

  “I’m not trying to make it sound like I’m this big spiritual guy who lives a perfect life or anything. I just don’t wanna keep making the same mistakes.” He stopped talking and gazed into Jade’s eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” Pierce wanted to kiss her so badly he could barely concentrate on what he was trying to say. However, he managed to pull it together long enough to finish his statement.

  “I know we’re supposed to wait until marriage to have sex but that’s not exactly the reason I’ve chosen to go without it these past few months. I just promised myself I wouldn’t make love to a woman unless I was in love with her and honestly believed we had a future together. And until a few days ago, I hadn’t met anybody who made me feel that way,” Pierce smiled at her. “So to answer the question you asked a long time ago, I never loved Dane’s mother or anybody for that matter. I’m convinced I finally found what I’ve been looking for, though. I’ve never talked to someone like I have with you tonight,” he smiled then planted a kiss on Jade’s hand. “Mama always says you can’t be fully loved until you’re fully known and I wanna make sure you know everything there is to know about me. So when you tell me you love me, I’ll know you really mean it.”