by ChaShiree M
Crap! Am I picturing kids with this man? I need to get a grip and not turn this into something it’s not. There is no way I will be made a fool of again by another man; even when he touches me like he has a right to, and my body doesn’t disagree.
“Babe? Did you finish your shower yet?” Jumping off the bed, I yell “No” as I run in the bathroom and lock the door. This is going to be harder than I thought. I need to leave and go stay with my nana to do what I came here to do. Make a plan for my life.
Satisfied with my immediate plan, I take my clothes off, get in the shower, and start rehashing things in my head. I always wanted to be a teacher. Then I got sidetracked with unimportant things. Maybe I can go back to school and get my degree. But, how would I have time for school, keep up my house, and raise my kids?
Shoot! I shake my head trying to erase those thoughts. It works, sort of, by immediately replacing them with thoughts of him in the shower with me. I wonder what he would look like with his shirt off.
My hands seem to have a mind of their own, and they move from my neck down to my breasts. I slowly play with my nipples. Tweaking and pulling on them as I imagine he would send a sensation between my legs, encouraging my hands to follow the feeling.
I have never masturbated before, but somehow I know what to do. My hand travels down over my stomach and straight to the Promised Land without any provocation, other than touching the button I come to first. All of a sudden I’m screaming in absolute pleasure and insanity. It is the most terrifying and exhilarating experience of my life, thus far.
Holy cow! Is that what I have been missing? Instinctually I know being with Ham would be life changing and it furthers my resolve to have him take me to Nanas before I get hurt. Oh well not everyone gets a “Happily Ever After.”
I dry off, put my clothes on, brush my hair until it is partially dry, and steel myself to walk out of the bathroom door. Giving myself one last pep talk, I open the door and run into 6 foot of man.
OMG! How long has he been standing here? Did he hear me? … Crap. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. How mortifying.
“Are you going to look at me Avalynn? You masturbate in my shower thinking about me, and you can’t even look at me? Wait! You were thinking about me, right? Who were you thinking about,” he all but yells in my face.
“It’s none of your business Ham. Now if you would please get out of my way, I’ll repack my bag to leave so you can take me to my grandmas.”
“What the hell are you talking about woman? You are not going anywhere except downstairs to eat and then back up here so I can sit you on my cock.”
Holy shit!!! I’m not sure why I bothered putting panties on because I now need to change them. The man is an animal and apparently I love it.
“What?” I whisper the question because the shock won’t allow my voice to go up any octave.
Cornering me against the door as he gets in my face he says, “You heard me baby. I am going to claim you which, means you will not be going anywhere. Now, get your sexy, smartass, self-downstairs so I can feed you and then fuck you.” He swats me on the ass for good measure. Gheesh.
Squish
I swear it is the sound I hear from inside my pants as I walk away. Lord. Please have mercy on my panties and my heart, because with him I don’t think I will be able to mend myself.
I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE WANTS to leave. A strong “need to show my girl what she would be missing if she left” is pushing forward to get released, even if I know now is not the right time. I don’t want to scare her away, but I also don’t want her to go.
“How about I make you some dinner, baby? I have beer and whiskey but none of that girly shit.”
“I’ll have a whiskey on the rocks. What are you making for dinner?”
Damn, girl. I want her in my life and on my cock. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
“I was thinking pork chops with mashed potatoes and maybe a salad to round the meal out.”
“Oooh … I’m a vegetarian and can’t be around meat.” she replies softly and hesitantly.
Jesus Christ. What I wouldn’t do for this girl.
“I can do veggies or the salad.” she says innocently. I must have looked like a frightened deer in headlights because all of a sudden she starts laughing. It’s not a normal laugh, but a sexy one that goes through my whole body.
“Oh my God! Your face. Priceless! I most definitely eat meat, Ham.” Is the reply through the laughter?
“I should spank you for that, Avalynn. I won’t until you admit what this is between us.” I gesture by pointing a finger at her and then myself.
“You will be holding onto that spanking for a very long time. I am not into BDSM”
I pull the pork chops and veggies out and set them on the counter. Chuckling, I say “Me either babe, but for you I’d do just about anything.”
“Hmm. Anything? What if I want to have another guy join us?” She asks as she taps a finger on her chin.
Slamming the skillet down on the counter causes her to jump a little in surprise. Moving around the counter, I stop in front of her and slowly move her backwards until she sits on a barstool. I situate myself between her slightly parted legs.
“Babe, you won’t need another dick after I am done with you and that is a motherfucking promise. Don’t test me with that shit, Avalynn. You won’t like the results.” I walk away from her as her mouth opens slightly to say something until she thinks better of it. Going back to the stove I start the chops.
“Can I help with anything?” Avalynn asks.
“You want to start the salad?” At her nod, I continue. “The bowls are up there” I say while pointing to the cabinet closest to the fridge.
“So, what do you do?” She asks me.
“I work construction with my dad and a few of my brothers.” I reply.
“That sounds interesting.”
“It’s a passion you either love it or hate it. I happen to love it. For me, it’s taking something in disrepair and making it new again. When you start with nothing as a base and turn it into someone’s dream home or office, it speaks to me.”
“That is beautiful, Ham.” She turns back to the salad so I prompt her to continue.
“What about you?”
“I don’t do anything, which is one of the reasons I came here. At the moment I have no idea what I want to do with my life. All I know is I messed up in Florida and need time to think.”
“There is nothing wrong with that Avalynn. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you,” I tell her as I finish with the chops and veggies. She has set the table, so I grab a couple of beers and motion for her to sit as I place the drinks on the table and sit myself.
“It’s easy for you to say, Ham. You have a career path you seem to enjoy, whereas I’m not even sure I want one, and it still depends on if I have any marketable skills.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I may have just met you but I can already tell you are an amazing woman and I don’t deserve you. But damn do I want to be worthy of you.” I say as I reach across the table and hold her hand.
“You are more than worthy of me,” she says as she squeezes my hand. “I need you to understand I am not a girl who goes from one guy to the next Willy nilly. In saying that, I need you to take me to my Nana’s house, tonight.”
“All right, I hear you. Let’s finish dinner and then I will drop you off,” I tell her as I hold in a sigh of disappointment.
As she sinks her teeth into a pork chop a moan of satisfaction comes out of her mouth. It was not an ordinary moan, but one sounding like a porn star. I have to bite my fist to keep from reaching for her.
“You keep that shit up and I will have to tie you to my bed.” She blushes as I give a little growl of my own.
“For someone who claims not be into BDSM, you sure are pulling out all the kink.” She says with a laugh. I smirk at her.
“You have no idea what you are doing to me, do you know
that?” I give as a surly reply.
“I think I have some idea, Ham,” she says as she takes a long gulp of her beer.
“I bet you do, Avalynn. I bet you do,” I say as I am shaking my head. Because I finished with my meal before her, I get to sit and watch her as she takes an additional twenty minutes to eat. Once she is done, she starts clearing the table and doing the dishes.
“You cooked, I’ll clean. Can I get you another beer?” She says as she looks completely at home in my kitchen. I swallow thickly.
“Nah, I gotta drive you over to your grandmother’s” I say. I would love nothing better than to get drunk making it difficult for her to leave. Unfortunately that is not in the cards tonight.
“Ok, I’ll finish loading the dishwasher and then I’ll be ready.”
“Sounds good,” I say. But it’s anything but good.
As she is wiping down the counters, she says “Ok, let me get my bag and we can go.”
“I’ll grab your bag. Meet me by the front door, and make sure you put your boots back on.”
“Yes. Sir!” She says with a mock salute.
That ‘sir’ makes my cock hard, not that it has been soft at all since I met her. I adjust myself and go to get her bag. Once I’m back at the front door and have my boots on, I lead her down the icy steps to my truck and open the door to help her up.
“Thanks Ham,” She says as I close her door. Once we are on the road a feeling of dread develops the closer we get to Greta’s place. I keep driving instead of kidnapping her like I want to. After pulling into the driveway, I hop out and grab her bag before helping her down from the passenger seat. This is killing me, but I set her bag down by the front door.
“You are here safe and sound, Avalynn. I will be seeing you soon.”
“Thanks Hammy. I appreciate the ride.” She leans over to me and kisses my cheek. I am unable to help myself. I grab her arms and pull her into my chest, before she starts to pull away. I lightly kiss her pillow soft lips until she moans, causing me to lose control and kiss her like my life depends on it. Finally, I am able to pull myself away from her.
“You go on inside and get warm babe.”
Turning around and leaving her at the door, I walk back to my truck and drive away. I knew that would be the hardest thing I would even do.
CLOSING THE DOOR OF MY grandma’s house, I lean against the door at a complete loss. I mean holy shit. That kisses. How is a girl supposed to swear off men with big grouchy, sexy, and muscled bound Adonis’s kissing her like that?
“Who’s that?” Hearing my Nana’s voice clears my head and I remember I didn’t tell her I was on my way.
“It’s me Nana.”
“Avalynn. I didn’t expect you tonight. I assumed Ham would have you tied up somewhere, flogging you, or whatever it is you young people are into” she says as she waves her hand in the air in an “I don’t care” gesture.
Right now I’m extremely happy I’m drinking anything, because it would be all over the kitchen if I had. Unable to believe she just said that to me, I remind myself who my Nana is. Then I realize yes I can. This woman never ceases to amaze me. She is the craziest, nastiest, and know-it-all I have ever met. I love her very much and would never want another.
“Nana!” I try to muster up as much shock and admonishment as I can, but I failed because in truth…that was funny as hell…and the more I think about it…probably true, if his propensity for spanking and tying me up is any indication.
“What, girl? Don’t act all prudish with me. What, with the 50 Colors Of Black or whatever it is y’all young folks be reading.”
Lord. She is trying to kill me. I am unable to help the laugh that radiates all the way from my toes to my belly before it bursts out of my mouth. Is she really talking about Christian Grey? Oh my goodness. What the hell are they getting into here in Moosehead Minnesota?
“Oh. Nana. I love you.” I say as I walk over and give her a hug. It feels good to have someone who really knows me hold me, without the pity and such I have been subject to the past few months.
“Now, do you want to tell me why you came here Ava? It’s not that I am not happy to see you, because you know you have always been my favorite. Lord knows how much I hate your mama.”
Here we go. I have no idea why she and my momma never got along, but I do know mom can be a lot to handle. Don’t get me wrong, she is a good person, but she had big dreams for dad who could never reach them. I know she loves him deeply and, unfortunately, Nana doesn’t suffer fools quietly.
“I thought you were planning some fancy wedding to the town Lothario?” She comments.
She grumbles something else I am unable to hear, but knowing her, I probably don’t want to know. With the mention of the wedding, I feel the tears coming and launch myself into her arms as the dam breaks.
“Hush now child. What’s wrong? What’s all this about? There is nothing so awful that some banana bread and a little morning coffee cocktail can’t fix.”
I squeeze her harder as I am assailed with memories of spending my summers with her. She would make me feel better if I was leased or got hurt by giving me a slice of bread and hot cocoa. Sniffing her, while refusing to let go, I find comfort in how she smells the same as mothballs and peppermint.
“Nana, there is no wedding. He was cheating on me the whole time. I feel like such a fool because I heard the rumors and I ignored them. When I finally asked him about them he denied it and I believed him. I had to leave because I couldn’t take the looks of pity or those ‘I told you so’ stares.”
“I feel completely stupid and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go except here with you. If you don’t mind, I need a little time to figure out my life and what I want to do with myself. Instead of trying to focus on a relationship right now I need to think about my next move.”
“Well, that sure is a tale baby girl. I am sorry you got hurt, but that pretty boy was never good enough for you. Now Ham. Ham is…”
Oh boy, here we go. “No. Stop! I am thinking about school and moving away not who my next man will be. I’m done with guys, Nana.”
“Ha. Good luck telling Ham that. He has all but tattooed his name on your ass girl. He is a man. A real man you can count on to honor his vows even before he takes them. He works hard, loves and takes care of his family, and is a major help in the community. Now Christmas tends to make him grumpier, but I figure he needs someone to share the holiday with.”
“Nana, I know what you’re trying to do. I can tell he is a good man. But I have been there, done that and now I need to focus on my future. Most girls my age have careers already and are conquering the world. What am I doing? Nothing! I feel like such a failure regarding my life. Not being able to keep a man is icing on the cake. I have to do this grandma.”
“Ava, I don’t want to hear what other girls are doing. Besides you have never been like other girls. I remember one summer when you were here. You had it in your mind to be more like Elizabeth McIntosh. You started wearing makeup with different clothes and such, while hanging out with her and her friends.”
“I never tried to stop you. I’m a firm believer if you tell a child to go left they will go right just for spite. I did the only thing I could, and that was to sit back and watch,” she said with a smirk on her face.
I remember when I was lost and trying to fit in here. During the summer, I would always come for a few weeks. Even though I loved being with my Nana, I didn’t have any friends here and it made for a lonely summer.
Making the decision before I left for the summer, things would be different. I set off on my mission. Of course it was an epic fail. But, I did learn an important lesson: Elizabeth McIntosh is a bitch.
“You paraded around imitating them for two weeks, until the day a baby fell and got hurt. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah, we were walking into town for a movie at the theater when a little boy crossing the street tripped and fell. Liz and her friends stood there and laughed before continu
ing to walk on pass him.”
“Yes. But what did you do? Did you go with them?”
“No. I stopped and picked him up, started to sing to him, and I carried him to his mama.”
“Yes you did, my darling girl. You spent the rest of your summer here going over to his house and playing with the baby. His mama came to me after you left and shared with me how he had cried for you for weeks. She told me how you would go over to play, feed him his lunch, change his nappy and put him down for his nap.”
I remember him as the cutest baby; with blonde hair and the chubbiest cherub cheeks. I would kiss his little face while smelling him as I thought about the day I could have one of my own. Preposterous a 13 year old girl would be thinking about babies. All I have ever wanted was to be a wife and mom. I don’t know why I never questioned that decision before, but now I am not so sure.
“Ava, answer one question for an old woman, will ya?”
Old, my ass! She is a loose cannon and she knows it. God help us.
“What is it grandma?”
“If you got a fancy degree, what would it be in?”
“Well I was thinking education or childcare…, Well shoot.”
She looks at me with a grin equal to that of the Cheshire cat, and the old coot says “Here’s your bread, honey.”
Crap. So much for the best laid plans.
I FEEL I’M GOING CRAZY without her near me, which is not a rational reaction considering I literally just met her. She is ingrained in a soul I didn’t know I had.
For a long time, holidays brought out the worst in me, and I know that. My mother has been telling me for years the right woman will soften me. I hate it when she is right because she becomes impossible.
Avalynn is literally everything I’ve wanted in a woman. She is beautiful, but there is much more to her than that. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life figuring her out, if I can get her to give me the time of day. Driving to her grandmother’s house and letting her go was hard for me. I am not a playboy but I have never had a woman tell me “no” before. Fuck if that doesn’t make me want her more.