Edge: A Tortured Heroes Novel

by Jayne Blue

  I kissed her. It wasn’t slow or chaste like the other night. Instead, I meant to devour her. She responded with a lusty sigh that nearly undid me. I grew instantly hard. A dam burst inside me. God, I wanted her. I burned for her.

  My hands were everywhere. In her hair, spanning her waist, skimming her hips, then covering her breast. She arched her back and sank even further into the kiss. I wanted her. Hard and soft. Pleasure and pain. I wanted her on her hands and knees, begging for me. I wanted to spread her wide and plunge into her so deep. Take her. Claim her. Keep her.

  “Beckett!” She kept whispering my name. It melted into a primal groan that told me she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. It would be so easy. Here in the middle of the lake with no one around. Lila and me. She could scream my name in pleasure. She could claim me too.

  But something held me back. I had my hands up her shirt, searching for one pert nipple. I wanted her in my mouth. Lila slid her fingers over my bare chest. Once again, she skimmed the edges of that old scar. This time, it snapped me back into myself.

  I didn’t mean it. I went rigid for a fraction of a second but it was enough to break the spell. Lila pulled away. As close as she was to losing herself in me, I knew instantly she had scars of her own to shield.

  “Lila,” I gasped.

  She came back into herself. Stumbling on wobbly legs, she straightened her shirt and took a seat beside me.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have …”

  “It’s okay.”

  Her eyes glistened with tears that gutted me. More than anything, I wanted to take whatever pain she felt into me. But it was too soon. Too raw for both of us.

  “I should get back,” she whispered.

  As if the skies heard her, they grew dark to the east. A distant rumble of thunder reached my ears. There’d been no call for storms. Part of me felt like we’d conjured them somehow. But she was right. The moment had passed.

  As I turned and pulled the anchor, I came back into myself too. Deep in my core, the burn faded a bit to a bright ember. But I knew that particular fire wouldn’t die out anytime soon.

  Chapter Nine

  Lila

  My body still quaked with the echoes of what I’d almost let happen. Every inch of me felt a little singed from the powerful craving Beckett brought out in me. I wanted him. An hour ago, I was ready to give myself over to it and forget every reason I shouldn’t.

  Beckett was mostly quiet as he drove me back to the shop. The sky went from dark to clear blue to blazing orange. When he parked the car, we both sat frozen for a moment. If things were normal ... if we were normal, I would have invited him upstairs. I would have cooked him dinner. We would have talked into the wee hours of the night over a bottle of wine I had chilling in the fridge. At least, I think that’s what normal people do.

  I couldn’t though. He’d ask too many questions. He’d get too close. After that, there was only one way this could end. Beckett would find out who I really was and he’d hate me for it. All the things Garnett Morris said about me would seem true. I’d lose the one true ally I had in this town and everything I’d worked for. I thought a place like Crystal Falls would be far enough to run. I should have known better.

  “Thank you,” I said, slinging my bag over my arm. “I had a really good time today, Beckett.”

  His warm smile cut through me. I wanted to reach for him and draw his lips back down to mine. It felt so damn good in Beckett Finch’s arms. He was strong, capable, with a quiet fierceness. Maybe I was wrong. He was an honest-to-God Navy SEAL. He was the kind of man the most powerful turned to to save the world. A hero. Maybe he was strong enough to stand up to the things I was afraid of. Just maybe. As Beckett turned to me and leveled those haunting dark eyes at me, I blinked. No. I couldn’t afford to be wrong. Not with him. This fight was mine, not his. I couldn’t let it taint him.

  “I want to see you again,” he said. Simple. Direct. Devastating. I could only smile back. I knew in my heart the best choice would be to end this now. Hurt him if I had to. Until I finally got clear of Tommy’s reach, I could never let anyone this close.

  “We open at six,” I said by way of an answer. Beckett’s smile faltered just a little, but he didn’t press me any further.

  “I just might be here,” he said. “Save me a seat at the counter.”

  I sighed. “Sadly, that’s not necessary lately. Garnett Morris’s talons are long.”

  A line creased Beckett’s brow. “Yeah.”

  “It’s okay, really,” I gushed. “I didn’t mean ... I’m sorry. This isn’t your problem. I’m just getting cranky. It’s been a long day. A long week. Please don’t try to intervene with Garnett on my behalf. I hope you didn’t think I expected that.”

  Beckett scratched his chin. “I don’t mind. I just don’t know what good it’ll do. I’m not currently one of her favorite people either.”

  “She blames you for the break-in? Are you serious? You want to know what I think? I’m surprised she didn’t get hit sooner. I’m sorry. I know it isn’t charitable to say that, but this isn’t 1950. She should have an alarm system. I’m not saying she deserved it ... but ... it’s naive to think bad things stop at the town line.”

  Becket let out a bitter laugh. “Well, I can’t argue your point. But I suggest you don’t express that to anyone but me.”

  My heart sank. I’d offended him. “No. I mean. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean …”

  He smiled and put a hand on my shoulder. “I know. And you’re right. It’s an old-fashioned mentality a lot of people have in this town. They do kind of exist in a time capsule. It’s one of the things I like about this place. But yeah. It’s not real.”

  “I really am sorry. That was a bitchy thing to say.”

  Beckett leaned forward. He hooked a finger under my chin. My breath went out. Before I could say another word, Beckett kissed me again. It sent my heartbeat racing. He felt it too. Gasping, I finally pulled away.

  “Goodnight, Beckett.”

  “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Though everything in me felt pulled to this man, I found the strength to slide out of the cab and shut the truck door behind me. Straightening my shoulders, I felt Beckett’s gaze searing through me as I unlocked the front door of the store and slipped inside.

  Beckett waited for a minute, his truck idling as I pressed my back against the closed door. It would be so easy to just go back out there and ask him in. It was dark and quiet here in the empty dining room. It would be just the two of us. My pulse quickened with the sinful delight of what we could do to each other. Biting my lip, I found the strength to simply turn, flicker the lights, and wait for Beckett to pull away.

  “Damn it,” I whispered. If he’d insisted on coming in, I don’t think I could have resisted.

  My footsteps echoed over the tile floors as I made my way through the dining room and into the kitchen. I did a quick check to make sure I had everything set up for my early morning. Then I took the back stairs up to the studio apartment above.

  Home. It had been so long since I felt this. I’d really only felt settled once before when my grandma was still alive. After she died, we moved around a lot. Work dried up for my mother. She’d only ever really trained to dance. She had no fallback and failed at just about everything else she tried. Secretary. Waitress. Telemarketer. None of it stuck. She tried a few men as well. None of them stuck either. Until the day my father came back when I was twelve years old. I couldn’t help wondering how my life would have turned out if he hadn’t. Maybe Tommy never would have known about me or even cared.

  I flicked the lights on and threw my bag onto the small, round kitchen table I kept in the corner. I needed that glass of wine after all so I made my way to the little fridge. As I opened it, something pricked my senses, sending gooseflesh all over me.

  “Hey, little sister. How was your date?” Tommy’s voice cut through me. My spine turned to steel as I straightened and turned to face
him. He sat in the shadows on the corner of the couch.

  “How did you get in here?” I kept my voice even, my tone flat. It was a stupid question, the answer to which had been drilled into my skull since I was twelve years old. Tommy could get in anywhere. He could reach anyone ... anytime.

  He didn’t move, didn’t so much as flinch. He sat back, casually draping one arm over the couch, one leg thrown over the other knee. He’d thrown his suit jacket over a kitchen chair. Why hadn’t I noticed it first when I walked in? Now he sat with the sleeves of his crisp white dress shirt rolled up, his collar loosened and his trademark red tie slightly crooked. He’d been here a while. Watching. Waiting.

  I felt a little ridiculous in my B.U. sweatshirt, cut-off jeans, and ponytail. Every inch the little sister he wanted to paint me as. But I wouldn’t cower. I came toward him, lowering myself into the chair across from him.

  “I asked you a question,” he said, leveling those ice blue eyes at me. “How was your date?”

  “I went fishing, Tommy. Don’t read anything into it.”

  His mouth twitched with a smile. “Now I would have paid to see that.”

  “What do you want, Tommy? I’m tired. It’s been a long day. I’m not in the mood for this little game you like to play. It’s bad enough you’re here. Did anyone see you?”

  “Relax, Lila. It doesn’t serve my interests to upset your little country apple cart at the moment. If it did, you’d know it.”

  I reached back and pulled the rubber band out of my hair, letting it spill over my shoulders. I really wasn’t in the mood for this crap with him so I decided to pretend he wasn’t here. I got up and went into the bathroom. While Tommy watched, I scrubbed my face and brushed my teeth.

  When I came out of the bathroom, I almost ran straight into him. My pulse flared as Tommy put his hands on my shoulders and stared me down.

  “Go home, Tommy. You have to have better things to do besides touring Crystal Falls. You better be careful, actually. I can’t imagine your associates appreciate you wasting time out here.”

  His cold smile stabbed through me. Everyone else saw roguish charm when they looked in Tommy Kelly’s eyes. I saw the truth. My brother had no soul. They all thought he was just like our father. He wasn’t. He was a damn sociopath. My mother had been the first one to warn me about him but by then it was far too late.

  “You’re wrong, sister. First of all, no associate of mine would dare tell me what to do. Second ... they see the genius in it. I have to admit. You pissed me off at first. I think that was your plan. I mean ... isn’t it always?”

  He let me go and went back to the couch. This time, his posture wasn’t so casual. My skin prickled with fear.

  “Your problem is, you think everything I do is about you. It isn’t. You don’t even register, Tommy.”

  He laughed. “Say what you want.”

  “Just stop.” I cut him off. “I told you. I’m tired. It’s been a long day. So why don’t we just get this over with. It was you, wasn’t it? You had your men break into that old lady’s antique store across the street. You wanted to send me a message. Well, I got it loud and clear. Though it probably would have been a hell of a lot quicker if you’d just trashed my shop. Put me out of my misery early. Now my business is just dying a slow death. So, congratulations. You win. Your plan to shit on everything I do that’s not for you worked. You can go back to Boston now and leave me alone.”

  He looked well and truly stunned at my words. But he denied none of it. In some dark corner of my mind, I took that as progress.

  “Well, as usual, you’re missing the point entirely, little sister. I think you’ve got about a drop too much of your slut mother’s DNA in you and not enough of Da’s. I’ve been telling him that for years.”

  I went to the door and opened it. “Get out, Tommy.”

  He rose and his eyes flashed blue fire. “Be careful, Lila. Your family name saves you from everyone else but me. I own you.”

  “You’re fucked in the head, Tommy.”

  “It’s not a huge business yet,” he said. “But it’s good enough. You’ll grow. I’ll seed it for a while.”

  “What are you talking about?” Except, I already knew. Bile rose in my throat.

  Tommy went to the corner where I kept my rolltop desk. He opened it and picked up my laptop. “You’ll report directly to Damon. He’ll handle your books from now on. He’ll meet with you once a week to start with. If you don’t do anything stupid, we can stretch that to once a month down the road.”

  “Forget it!” My voice cracked. No.

  But Tommy didn’t so much as flinch. No was a word he wasn’t used to hearing, let alone abiding by. Tommy Kelly got his way. Always. Except I could call his bluff. If anyone else stood up to him, he’d cut them down where they stood. But he was right about one thing. Kelly family ties ran strong. As much as he might want to, he couldn’t hurt me without risking repercussions from our father. Though I hadn’t seen the man in over ten years, I knew I was right.

  “I’m not doing it, Tommy. I run a donut shop. Not some high cash strip club. Find someone else to launder your money.”

  He cocked his head and advanced on me. “You’ll do what I say.”

  “I won’t. This is ridiculous and not worth your time. You’re just doing it to poke at me. I’m calling your bluff. This is too much risk with not enough reward. Da would be the first one to remind you of that.”

  Tommy moved quick as a snake. His fingers dug into my upper arms as he drove me back into the wall. I reacted on instinct, bringing my knee up. But Tommy dodged, protecting his groin. His slow hiss made my blood run cold.

  “Whose idea do you think this was, little sister?”

  I couldn’t breathe. No. He had to be lying. Our father was five thousand miles away, rotting in a Dublin prison cell, last I knew.

  “It’s time to bring you back into the fold,” he said. “Think of this as an opportunity. Do you know how many people would kill to have this big a role in the organization? Be grateful.”

  I tried to jerk away from him but Tommy held me firmly against the wall. No matter what my father ordered, I knew it couldn’t be violence. I also knew Tommy might not be able to control himself.

  “I won’t do it.”

  “You will,” he said. “But cheer up. You’ll still get to have your fun.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Tommy let me go. He smiled and licked his lips. “The sheriff is a good move. You should have talked to me about it first, but I’ll let that slide.”

  I shook my head, trying to clear it.

  “Keep seeing him,” Tommy said. “I insist. The more the better.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “Finch?” Tommy said. “Beckett Finch? I’ve looked into him. Interesting man. You’ll keep him close. I find out you tried to tell him anything that’s none of his business, I’ll kill him.”

  I laughed. “You think it’ll be that easy? Then you haven’t looked into him hard enough.”

  “I’ll kill him.” Tommy’s face turned to stone.

  “Get out,” I said.

  “I’m done here. As long as you’re clear on what you’re going to do.”

  I couldn’t move. Couldn’t talk.

  “And it doesn’t have to be Finch,” he said. “Not at first.” Tommy raised a hand and started counting off one finger at a time. “Addy, Arlene, Mrs. Morris, is it? Accidents happen all the time, Lila.”

  Oh God. He’d do it. I knew he would. How could I have been so stupid to think he’d let me go?

  “Good,” Tommy said as he recognized the understanding in my eyes. He touched my cheek. “Good. So call up your boyfriend.”

  “He’s not …”

  Tommy raised a finger. “I don’t care. I’m watching, Lila. I see everything. And I better see you getting closer to Sheriff Finch. I’ll let you know when you’ve done enough.”

  The phone rang in his pocket. Tommy stepped aro
und me and grabbed his suit coat off the chair. He swung his arms through it while I stayed pressed against the wall. As he passed, he leaned in and kissed my forehead.

  I stayed frozen for a minute after Tommy left and slammed the door behind him. Then my legs finally gave out and I sank to the floor.

  Chapter Ten

  Beckett

  For the first time in more months than I could count, I didn’t dream of Afghanistan and my last rescue mission. Instead, I dreamed of her. Lila. I didn’t taste bitter sand. I tasted her. I woke reaching for Lila’s soft skin, aching for the feel of her supple breasts against my chest. But more than anything, I got real sleep for once. I didn’t think it was possible, but thoughts of Lila were strong enough to chase away the demons, if only for one night.

  “You in there, boss?” Ramona’s voice snapped me to attention. I stood, coffee in hand, staring out the window at the fire station across the street. Rain pelted the sidewalk.

  “What? Yeah. Just thinking.”

  “Hmm,” she said. “I hope you’re thinking about who you’re going to get to replace me next month?”

  “What?” I turned to her. She stood with her hands on her hips, lips pursed, exasperated with me.

  “My vacation? I’ve been reminding you about it for about six months, Beckett.”

  “Right. Three weeks in Belize. You sure you have to take all your time at once?” I was teasing her. Ramona hadn’t taken a real vacation since I took this job six years ago.

  She shook her head and walked back to her desk. “I know you’re joking.”

  “I trust your judgment,” I told her. “You’ve been interviewing temps since January. Nobody can fill your shoes so just pick the person you think is least likely to screw things up in a three-week period. We’ll be fine.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  I just prayed things stayed quiet while Ramona was gone. She knew I was lousy at the administrative crap. I turned back, intending to tuck myself away in my office until I finished my coffee. Then I was going to see if Lila might be willing to meet me for an early dinner. We’d talked a few times since that day at the lake, but I’d taken things a little slow. Instinct told me I could spook her easily if I wasn’t careful. That said, if these dreams about her got any more intense, I’d barely be able to walk upright around her.