by Avery Aster
So far I’ve found one boy in our bathtub, up to his ankles in water, with the tap turned on full. Xavier drags two more out of my bedroom. “They were playing Ninja,” Xavier explains.
A glance inside shows the destruction that two pint-size Ninjas can make to a bed. They apparently explored all my drawers—there are undies and socks in piles on the floor. Xavier makes them put the clothes away and fix my bedcovers, under his direction.
Then I herd the three boys downstairs—
A stream of water hits me in the chest.
“Jakey! You know you don’t play with water pistols in the house!”
But another boy leaps out of a doorway, shouts, “Got you!” and squirts me.
I point to the floor. “Put the water pistols down. Right now. Put them down and back away from them.”
Of course no one pays any attention to me.
Oh wait, the other boy does. He squirts me again in the chest.
“Put the water pistols down or the cake gets it,” I shout.
Jakey’s lip wobbles. “No, Mommy!”
Oh God, I have officially lost it. I am about to apologize and promise I will not hurt the cake when Xavier steps in.
“Would you guys like to go to a special training gym and learn some real martial arts moves?” Xavier has taken off his leather jacket. He is wearing a grey T-shirt with the logo of his franchise of training gyms. The sleeves fit perfectly around the huge circumference of his biceps. The lettering stretches across his firm, incredible pecs. I remember what Ryder looked like naked—broad chest, wide shoulders, solid muscle, tattooed, and not an ounce of fat on him.
I know Xavier must be the same. I’ve never seen him shirtless. Though if I wanted to, I’d just have to Google pictures from his fighting days. Sometimes it’s tempting.
But I’m not ready for tempting.
Of course the boys start leaping up and down, screaming with excitement. The two would-be Ninjas are jumping on the couch.
“Martial arts require discipline,” Xavier says. The boys stop and listen to his deep, commanding voice. He explains no one gets to go unless they all behave.
Suddenly all the shouting, wrestling, and couch-trampoline performances stop.
But I’m nervous. “Are you sure? Martial arts? They’re four.”
Xavier winks. “Age-appropriate marital arts, Tessa. I promise.” He takes charge, getting eight giddy, young boys into their coats and shoes. Xavier tells me not to worry about bringing anything else except Jakey’s homemade cake (my mom made it) and the presents.
And by the end of the afternoon, as Jakey is opening the last of his presents, I realize Xavier’s solution was perfect. The boys went wild in the gym to burn off steam, then Xavier and one of his trainers taught them controlled and disciplined moves. They also got to climb ropes and practice front rolls. Xavier had a meal catered at the last minute—animal-shaped chicken fingers, sliders, also salad, veggies, fruit, and cheese. The boys are stuffed.
Since I got married young and had Jakey right away, I am a lot younger than the mothers of Jakey’s friends. I assume most think I got pregnant and that’s why Ryder and I got married. It wasn’t like that, but I feel, as a young mom, that everything I do is judged. That other mothers are expecting me to be inadequate and make inappropriate decisions.
But the boys were thrilled to learn some “moves” from a former champion, and they are tired out in a healthy way. I actually feel like I’ve passed a test. At least Jakey won’t lose friends because their moms don’t approve of me.
After we bring all the boys back to my home and they are picked up, Xavier and Jakey watch movies while Mom and I tidy the house. I go into the living room to discover Xavier has already taken Jakey upstairs to get him ready for bed.
I go up to tuck him in.
When I bend over and kiss Jakey, he suddenly says, “I get a whole bunch of birfdays, Mommy. One with my friends. One with you and Gran. One with Daddy on my real birfday on Sunday.”
“Jakey,” I say, “I told you that Daddy’s away. He has fights in lots of different cities. He has to defend his championship title.”
“Daddy told me on the phone that he’s going to see me.”
When Ryder says something he always sees it through. He never makes empty promises. Which means most times he doesn’t make promises at all. It’s better than being lied to, I’ll say that.
But now I’m worried. Ryder has a big match Saturday night in Las Vegas. It’s possible he could travel here for Jakey’s actual birthday, if he flew out Sunday morning. Vegas is three hours behind. But will he be able to make it?
“I know Daddy really wants to be here that day, Jakey. But he’s far away and he’s really busy. He would have to fly here on the day of your birthday. Sometimes flights get delayed—I mean they can be late. Whenever he comes, you can have your birthday with him.”
“He promised he’ll be here on the real day!”
Ryder, why did you say that? For the first time, I think Ryder has made a dangerous promise.
I stroke Jakey’s hair. “Jakey, it’s a special time when you and Daddy are together. That’s what matters. You’ll have fun and it doesn’t matter if it’s on your real birthday or a few days after. And—” Okay, I’m going to use bribery because his lower lip is wobbling and is stuck out an inch. “And we can have another party on your actual day, then you can have one more party with Daddy. If Daddy can’t make Sunday, you get four parties. So no pouting.”
Jakey frowns. He’s like Ryder—stubborn. This is a better deal for him, but that doesn’t mean he won’t stick to the worse situation. Just because he’s like his dad.
“Jakey, I’m not going to accept you being angry when we are talking about four birthday parties!”
He frowns more, then he smiles. Showing dimples inherited from Ryder. “Okay.” Then he sits up and his covers slide down. “I hafta say goodnight to Uncle Xavier! Hafta! Hafta! Hafta!”
I turn and Xavier is already at the door. “Do you want to say goodnight to Jakey?”
“You bet I do,” Xavier says. He’s good with Jakey. I was always a little scared of Xavier as a teenager. He rode a motorcycle, knew how to fight, and didn’t take any crap. He always seemed so tough. But with Jakey, he’s tender and wonderful.
He’s like that with me too.
Xavier kneels down by Jakey’s bed, and Jakey throws his arms around Xavier’s strong neck. “Thanks, Uncle Xavier! Thanks for the party and for teaching me cool Ninja moves.” Then he whispers, “Night, night. I love you.”
Xavier wraps his strong arms around Jakey’s small back, hugs him, kisses Jakey’s platinum hair. “I love you, Jakey. Go to sleep. Dream about birthdays and lots of cake.”
Jakey giggles. “And ninjas.”
“Cake ninjas,” Xavier says. “They’re good ninjas who bring cake.”
This sets Jakey off into gales of laughter. I fear I’ll never get him settled down. But Xavier says, seriously, “You have to go to sleep now. It’s what all fighters do. They get their rest.”
“Okay,” Jakey says. He lies down at once and closes his eyes. Wow, he never does that for me. I smile at Xavier. With his thumb, he gives a sweep under his eye.
I can’t believe the tough ex-fighter is shedding a tear over Jakey.
I close Jakey’s door. My mom passes us, carrying a glass of white wine to her bedroom. “I’m calling it a night, Tessa. I left the bottle downstairs, if you would like a glass.”
A glass of wine would be perfect. I go downstairs, Xavier following.
He pours me a glass, and I lean on the granite island in my beautiful kitchen, sipping. This is the house Ryder and I lived in together. Even though I said I wanted to leave, Ryder was the one who moved out, so Jakey and I wouldn’t have to face upheaval.
“There’s beer in the fridge,” I say. “I got some for Ryder, but he hasn’t drunk any. With training, he doesn’t drink.” I finish that lamely. Xavier knows Ryder better than I do.
Xa
vier takes out a bottle. I set down my glass and close my eyes—my lids are so heavy. When I feel myself start to fall over, I open them quick.
“You’re exhausted.” Xavier comes around to me and he picks me up. He sets me on my ass on the island. He puts my glass in my hand then rests his hand on my waist. This close I feel like all my pores are absorbing his gorgeous, dark, sexy essence.
“Tessa, I don’t get why you work at the diner. Is Ryder not paying his maintenance? I’ll have a talk with that boy, if that’s the case.”
“No, he is.”
“Then why are you killing yourself by working and taking night courses at Yardley?” Both Ryder and Xavier attended Yardley College. Ryder is two years older than me, Xavier is three. Ryder never finished college, and Xavier returned and completed a degree in economics after he retired from fighting. “With Ryder’s support, you could focus on finishing your degree.”
“I do want to finish my program and graduate,” I say. “I use the money he provides to keep the house running, to look after Jakey and Mom, and I’m putting it away for Jakey’s college education as well as in an investment fund for him.”
“I still don’t get it, Tessa. Why not use that money to look after you, too?”
“I can’t explain it. I don’t want to be dependent on Ryder.” His monthly payment is generous. I do put some away in investments for my future too. And Ryder has told me he will let me have the house if we were to go from separation to divorce. “I just need to do this on my own terms. That’s important to me. I want to prove I can stand on my own feet.”
Xavier gazes at me in silence for a long time. His lips are parted—he has a handsome mouth, wide and masculine. Ryder has sensual, pouty lips like the guys in Ralph Lauren clothing ads.
“It’s been a year since you and Ryder split up. I’ve waited, Tessa, because I know you needed time. But I decided I have to put my heart out there tonight. Tessa, I’m in love with you.”
I’m stunned. Strangely, my first thought is: Carlotta was right.
I’ve never dreamed Xavier actually loves me. Xavier could have any woman he wanted—and he’s had quite a few. Models. Actresses. Singers. The most beautiful women in the world. Being a muscular, gorgeous billionaire gets you that kind of attention.
I’ve known Xavier since he was fifteen, since he and Ryder took up marital arts, which they did when a former Olympian in Judo opened a dojo in town. They were wild boys, always in trouble, but both of them loved the ritual, control, and respect that Mr. Kendo insisted upon. He taught them to love being athletes; and to love that more than they loved the awe and admiration they got for being in trouble. He taught them both about commitment, duty, and respect. He taught them to respect themselves.
I was so happy because I worried about both of them.
Xavier lets out a low, soft laugh. “Tessa, did I shock you that much? Or are you just trying to think of a way to gently break my heart?”
I realize he’s wondering why I’m not saying anything.
I loved Ryder from the very first moment I was moving into my house and I saw him working on his car in his driveway.
But I know I have to move on. Ryder isn’t going to change.
I look up into Xavier’s dark blue eyes—so dark they are almost black. I’m breathing awfully fast. “I—I guess I’m surprised. I’m not really your type. You like models.”
He strokes my cheek with just his finger tip. My pussy clenches and I almost sob at a sudden stab of desire.
“I’ve loved you for a long time, Tessa,” he says huskily. “But you always belonged to Ryder. Being hopelessly in love drives a guy to do stuff. Like build a billion-dollar business.”
“Did you really just say that or am I so tired I’m dreaming?”
“I said I’ve loved you for a long time—you were fifteen. But Ryder noticed you first.” His finger skims down my cheek and touches my lips. Sparks shower through me. “Should I go, Tessa? Have I said too much? Tell me if you’d like me to leave.”
I reach up and put my arms around Xavier’s neck, my fingers tangling in his silky black hair. “I so do not want you to leave.”
I lean forward and touch my lips to his. His strong hands cup my face and he kisses me deeply. His lips force mine to open wide. It’s a demanding kiss and I’m dissolving in it.
He breaks it and with his lips against mine, he says softly, “I’m living a fantasy I’ve had for a long time. I’ve dreamed about kissing you for years.”
“I guess that’s why you’re doing it so well.”
He smiles against my mouth. His lashes drop, covering his dark eyes, and he kisses me again. I’m burning hot. It’s been so long and I ache everywhere with need.
All I used to think about was Ryder. I was crazy about him—too crazy about him to really see Xavier. I open my eyes and look at Xavier now as his mouth does hot and steamy things to mine.
He has the darkest eyes with long black lashes and dark brows. Exotic eyes that I’d seen smoulder when he looked at other girls. Now his eyes are smouldering for me.
He has a perfect nose, high cheekbones, dark stubble, and that gorgeous mouth. He’s got scars, just like Ryder has. A thin white line on his jaw, one on his cheek, one on his temple.
I move my mouth from his and kiss his jaw, near the scar. But he captures my face in his hands and he stops me kissing him there.
“My way,” he says huskily. “I want to pleasure you my way.”
Xavier’s hands move down and his thumbs lightly brush my nipples through my T-shirt. I’d changed out of my diner uniform into a pink T-shirt and jeans. He gazes at me—I know he’s watching my every reaction. Ryder did this when we played out our fun, kinkier scenes. I’m breathless with the intensity in Xavier’s eyes. I let out a moan that scales two octaves.
“Beautiful,” Xavier says. “If you had been with anybody but Ryder, I would have fought for you. Hard.”
“Because Ryder is your best friend.”
Pain passes over his face. “Yeah. That’s right.” His thumbs strum the very tips of my nipples. Below the waist, I’m aching, pulsing. Wanting. I’m wet and I can smell my own arousal. I’m sure Xavier can. It makes me blush.
“But since he was nuts enough to let you go, I figured it was time I tried to win you.”
I don’t say anything, but Ryder didn’t let me go. I left him. He wanted to save our marriage. But he was not willing to give me the one thing I needed.
Xavier bends to my neck. Lips, tongue, the scratch of his teeth set my sensitive skin on fire. He pinches my nipples. Just the way I like it—on the edge of rough, flirting with too much pressure, taking me right to an intense place where I’m gasping for breath, not sure how hard he’s going to be. My nipples grow long and plump under his expert touch.
“You know what I like…” I let my voice trail away. His fingers ply my nipples, making jolts of pure arousal shoot from my nipples to my pussy.
“You and Ryder never talked about this, did you?” My cheeks flame with heat. “I mean, he didn’t tell you what…what I like…sexually?”
“No, of course not.” His voice is husky by my ear. “I’m just doing what I’ve fantasized about doing since you came to college and you weren’t a kid any longer.”
Then he pinches my nipples, tugging on them, and I need, need, need him inside me.
“I want you,” I whisper, my voice tight with sexual agony. I kiss his throat, his jaw, his mouth, tasting him. Savoring him.
I’m almost sobbing with desire for him. “Fuck me. Fuck me now,” I groan by his ear.
I’m begging and I’m commanding and I feel this bone-deep, soul-deep sense of trust.
I undo my jeans and Xavier lifts me easily. Together we get my pants down and they slide off my legs to the floor. He slips my panties off and I unhook my bra from behind. I take it off while leaving my T-shirt on.
He undoes his leather pants and I hold my breath. Ryder was my very first. Which makes Xavier my second. I guess I expe
ct his erection to look like Ryder’s—and it doesn’t, of course.
His cock is long, not quite as thick as Ryder’s. Xavier’s cock curves upward like a bow. It’s different and beautiful and I guess unique to him. He puts a condom on, gliding it fast over his erection.
I wriggle over my counter to the edge and then he lifts me and while he holds me up in the air, the head of his cock nudges my slick pussy.
He kisses me deeply as he lowers me on top of his big cock. I’m wet with desire. Really wet. I moan against his mouth as he goes inside me, the girth of him filling me, stretching me.
Holding my butt, he slides my pussy up and down the length of his cock. I cling to his shoulders and he thrusts deep inside me. Every hard thrust makes sexual agony shoot through me.
It’s so good.
Then he rests me onto the counter. He lifts off my shirt, and gently squeezes both my engorged, erect nipples between his thumbs and index fingers. Then he fucks me hard. I’m close, so very close, but he reaches his climax fast, before I do. His eyes half-close, his mouth strains in sexual agony. His hips rock fast against me, jerking as he comes.
He moans my name. “Tessa.” Softly he adds, “I usually have better control than that.”
Suddenly he kneels in front of me, presses his mouth to me, and his tongue teases my pussy. Xavier’s technique on my clit is incredible. I have to bite my lip so I can’t shout and wake the house.
He slides two fingers into my wet pussy and sucks hard on my clit.
An orgasm whips me around like a small tornado. I’m spinning in a maelstrom of pleasure, sobbing in sheer delight.
As it ebbs and I’m almost ready to slump over in sexual exhaustion, Xavier lifts me into his arms. He kisses me as I pant against his lips.
Incredible. This was incredible. I wondered…I thought maybe I’d know for sure what I want after this. If it wasn’t good, it had to mean I still wanted Ryder.
This is right between us. It has to be—how else would sex be that intense? But though he said he loved me, I—I don’t know yet. I don’t know what to say. Except…
“Wow.”
Xavier sets me on my feet. I pull on my jeans and T-shirt, no underwear, while he disposes of his condom and zips up his pants.