Broken Rainbows

by Catrin Collier

  ‘I have no children, only nieces and nephews. And as for my businesses, I’ll sell them. I want no part of any country that doesn’t want you.’

  ‘Dino …’

  ‘We’ll talk about this later. Thank you, Colonel Ford. I’m sorry I lost my temper there for a moment. I know you did what you could for us.’ Picking up his cap he left his chair and snapped to attention.

  David held out his hand to Megan. ‘I congratulate you on your choice of husband, Mrs Powell. When this is all over, I hope to get an invitation to the wedding.’

  ‘You will, sir,’ Dino said firmly. ‘And if I have anything to say about it, it will take place the day I’m demobbed.’

  *……*……*

  ‘I’ve run you a bath, put some of those salts you like in it, and as soon as you’ve finished, I’ll serve dinner. Steaks a la Schaffer with French fries and green salad.’

  ‘Steaks. Real steaks?’

  ‘Real honest to goodness, American beef off the hoof.’

  ‘If I ever knew, I’ve forgotten what it tastes like.’ Jenny gazed, dumbfounded at the table in her living room. Kurt had found her mother’s best damask tablecloth, napkins and china, he’d also put red candles in a silver holder that was new to her. Next to it stood a vase of hothouse flowers and a bowl of exotic fruit that shone as though it had been polished. ‘What’s the occasion?’ she asked suspiciously.

  ‘If you need one, call it a late Easter celebration.’

  ‘Easter was weeks ago. You’re not going to …’

  ‘I’m not going to do anything other than look after the steaks. You’ve no idea how many favours I had to promise the cook to get them, and that was in addition to a week’s crap winnings. Bath, woman! I refuse to eat this sensational dinner opposite anyone with a munitions yellow face.’

  Bemused and bewildered, Jenny went into the bathroom. Kurt had not only run and scented her bath, but also laid out her robe and slippers. After the long day in the factory, it looked warm, relaxing and luxurious. Five minutes later she was lying back, up to her neck in water with her eyes closed. Kurt knocked the door.

  ‘Is it time to eat?’ she asked sleepily.

  ‘I thought you might like some wine.’ He stuck his head round the door and handed her a glass.

  ‘Wine as well. Wherever did you get it?’

  ‘HQs secret store. It was marked “For the use of Generals only.” He touched his glass to hers.

  ‘You’ll be court-martialled.’

  ‘Possibly, but it will be worth it.’

  ‘What are we toasting?’ she asked, her misgivings resurfacing.

  ‘The evening ahead and my seduction techniques?’

  ‘And that’s all?’ She studied him over the rim of her glass.

  ‘Does there need to be more?’

  ‘Not for me.’

  ‘You have five minutes. Any longer and the steaks will burn.’

  She pulled the plug on the bath, wrapped herself in a towel and went into her bedroom. Falling in with his celebratory mood she dressed carefully in her one good set of silk and lace underwear and a pre-war blue dress that matched her eyes. Brushing out her hair until it fell, soft and curling on to her shoulders, she applied a touch of make-up, and a liberal splash of scent. Knowing she looked good, she wandered into the kitchen.

  ‘I’ve never seen a man in a frilly apron before. It won’t catch on as part of a military uniform.’

  ‘You’re right.’ He glanced down at the pink gingham print. ‘It’s the wrong colour.’ He handed her a bread mixing bowl filled to the brim with thin, chipped potatoes. ‘If you take that in I’ll bring the steaks.’

  ‘How many are coming?’

  ‘Just us.’

  ‘There’s enough here to feed an army.’

  Following her into the living room, he heaped an enormous steak on to her plate. ‘You must be hungry after working all day.’

  ‘There’s hungry and there’s gluttonous.’ Taking her knife she cut the steak in two and replaced half of the portion he had given her on the serving dish.

  He refilled her wine glass. ‘Tell me about your day.’

  ‘It was like every other day. Boring.’

  ‘You forget I’ve never been in a munitions factory.’

  Even as she recounted the strain that the step-up in production targets had put on all the workers, including her, she felt that there was something more, something he wasn’t telling her. But whatever it was, she knew she’d never prise it out of him. She’d simply have to wait until he decided to tell her.

  Bethan sat next to Alma on the sofa in the room above the shop.

  ‘It’s so unfair,’ Alma protested. ‘Chuck was only thirty. He had a wife and son, absolutely everything to live for …’ the remainder of the sentence was lost in a torrent of tears and sobs as the reality of his death sank in.

  ‘He was happy while he was alive, and he brought happiness into the lives of others. You have to think how much that means to everyone who knew him.’ Bethan looked helplessly to David Ford.

  ‘I’ll make some tea,’ he said awkwardly, retreating into the kitchen.

  ‘But his wife … his son …’ She extricated herself from Bethan’s arms. ‘I don’t know how I’m going to bear this, and I only knew Chuck for a year. What must they be going through?’

  ‘We can only imagine,’ Bethan murmured, thinking of Andrew and hating herself for wondering how she would have reacted if he had succeeded in killing himself when he had received Mrs Llewellyn-Jones’s letter.

  ‘I must write to her.’

  ‘I’ve met Marilyn and I’m sure she’d appreciate hearing from you.’ David Ford returned with a tray of cups that he set on the table. ‘Kettle’s on.’

  ‘Do you know how Chuck died?’ Alma asked.

  ‘I know he’s been mentioned in dispatches, and he’ll get a posthumous medal. He saved an entire platoon by single-handedly attacking and disabling a German gun emplacement,’ he answered, neatly evading her question. Chuck’s commanding officer’s letter hadn’t made easy reading. The major had survived the attack, only to die four hours later from abdominal wounds in a makeshift, front-line aid station. David needed little imagination to picture the conditions, or Chuck’s slow, painful death.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Alma made an heroic effort to pull herself together as Bethan left to make the tea. ‘I know how busy you must be. It’s kind of you to bring me the news yourself, Colonel.’

  ‘It was the least I could do under the circumstances. Chuck used to say that coming here to see you and Theo was like having a second home.’

  ‘He was a good man, and a wonderful uncle to Theo.’

  Bethan came in with the teapot. ‘I could telephone home and stay here tonight?’

  ‘No.’ Alma shook her head. ‘Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather be alone.’

  Bethan nodded as she poured the tea, but she couldn’t help worrying at the effect the news was going to have on Alma once the initial shock had passed. Would Chuck’s death finally bring home the realisation that there was no real hope for Charlie? And if Alma was this upset over the death of a close friend, what would she be like when she was forced to accept that her husband would never be coming home?

  ‘Good meal?’ Kurt asked Jenny as he cleared their plates.

  ‘Unbelievable.’

  ‘And you don’t have to worry about cooking tomorrow, there’s enough meat left over for cold steak sandwiches. They’re delicious with mustard or horseradish.’

  He returned with plates and knives for the fruit, and a bottle of whiskey. ‘Nightcap?’

  ‘Yes, please. I can’t remember when I last felt this full, contented and sleepy.’

  ‘And that is exactly the mood I intended to get you in.’ Pulling a small box from his pocket he went down on one knee. ‘Will you marry me, Mrs Powell?’

  ‘Kurt, I told you when you moved in that I didn’t want a serious relationship.’

  ‘That was be
fore we’d lived together for six months. And you can’t deny that I’ve kept to my side of the bargain. We’ve had a good time, haven’t we? And I haven’t plagued you with proposals.’

  ‘So why spoil it now?’

  ‘Because I want to apply to the army for permission for us to marry, and I can’t do that without you knowing about it. As soon as the war is over, I intend to take you back to the States.’

  ‘The States! Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t leave here.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I have the shop …’

  ‘Sell it.’

  ‘My father …’

  ‘Didn’t even recognise you the last time you went to see him.’

  ‘I’m all he’s got.’

  ‘We’ll pay someone to take care of him.’

  ‘He’s my father.’

  ‘And the doctor told you to expect the worst at any time. Jenny, his life is over, ours is ahead of us.’

  ‘You know I hate thinking about the future.’

  ‘You can’t drift on alone for ever.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because when the war is over -’

  ‘You’re leaving, aren’t you?’ she broke in suddenly.

  ‘For a while,’ he admitted reluctantly.

  ‘So that’s what all this is about. Instead of telling me that you’re going off to fight, straight out, as any honest man would have done, you prettied it up with food, wine, candles and flowers.’

  ‘It’s not like that, Jenny,’ he remonstrated. ‘I love you …’

  ‘Love!’ she spat out the word as though it was an obscenity. ‘You know you’re going to die, and you want someone who’ll wait for a telegram and shed tears every time she looks at your photograph. Well, if you think I’m your ticket to immortality and remembrance, Kurt, you’ve got the wrong girl. I’ve cried enough over men. No more. Go off and get yourself killed. I don’t give a damn!’

  ‘I’m going to retrain as an army photographer not tackle Hitler on my own.’

  ‘Then you’ll be in the front line of the invasion when it happens?’

  ‘Ahead actually,’ he said wryly, recalling the army directive ordering combat photographers to step off the landing crafts in advance of the troops so they could film them attacking the enemy.

  ‘Is that supposed to be funny?’

  ‘War isn’t funny, Jenny, but I’ll survive.’

  ‘No you won’t. And you’re a selfish bastard for wanting me to agree to marry you when you know you’re going to die!’

  ‘I know no such thing,’ he contradicted vehemently.

  ‘And what makes you think you’re so bloody special?’

  ‘I’ve got my very own guardian angel.’

  ‘Haven’t you heard? All guardian angels have been given a sabbatical for the duration.’

  ‘Darling, I’ve got far too much to live for to do something as stupid as die on a battlefield.’

  ‘So did Eddie.’

  ‘What can I say to convince you that this particular bad penny is going to keep on turning up?’

  ‘Nothing. When are you leaving?’

  ‘Tomorrow,’ he admitted hesitantly.

  ‘Good. You can start packing now. Tonight you sleep in the front bedroom.’

  ‘Jenny, I’m not going to get killed, but I have no idea when I’ll be back. I wanted tonight to be special.’

  ‘It is, Kurt: the evening our relationship ended. Tell the billeting officer to send up a replacement tomorrow. Any young, good-looking officer who wants a good time will do. But the same rules apply. No strings attached.’ She stormed out slamming the door behind her, leaving him staring down at the unopened ring box in his hand.

  Maurice crept softly along the landing on the second floor of Bethan’s house. Trembling at his own audacity, he laid his hand on the doorknob of the room Liza shared with her younger sisters and turned it, panicking when the hinges squeaked. He waited a moment. When all remained quiet he peeped around the door into the darkness.

  ‘Who’s there?’ Liza’s voice quavered, tremulous with fear.

  ‘Me, Maurice. I have to see you. It can’t wait.’

  ‘I’ll be out in a moment.’

  He retreated to the foot of the staircase that led to the top floor. He could hear Liza whispering to her sisters. A few minutes later she appeared on the dimly lit landing, wearing a woollen dressing gown over her pyjamas. Glancing nervously over her shoulder, she joined him.

  ‘It must be serious if it can’t wait.’

  ‘It is.’ Taking her hand he led her up the stairs into the room he shared with Dino.

  ‘Maurice, I can’t come in here.’

  ‘No one’s in. Colonel Ford sent me home from town because he’s going to be late, Dino’s visiting Megan, and Lieutenant Rivers is on night duty.’ Closing the door, he faced her. ‘I’m not supposed to know, so don’t tell a soul, but we’re moving out tomorrow.’

  ‘You’re leaving Pontypridd?’

  ‘The whole regiment is going. But I’ll be back,’ he assured her, his heart racing at the downcast expression on her face. ‘First leave I get, we’ll be married, I promise. I wrote to my folks about you. They’ll love you as much as I do when they meet you, you’ll see.’

  She sank down on to the only chair in the room, shivering from a mixture of cold and shock.

  ‘Here.’ Taking a blanket from his bed he wrapped it around her.

  ‘You’ll take care of yourself?’

  ‘You bet I will.’

  She looked around the bare room. The few personal possessions, like combs and hairbrushes, that hadn’t been packed into the bulging kitbags looked sad and pathetic. She stared at a highly-coloured calendar picture of Betty Grable posing provocatively in a swimsuit.

  ‘Dino’s idea,’ he muttered in embarrassment.

  ‘Maurice, I’ve never done it. You know what I mean?’

  ‘Neither have I,’ he confessed.

  ‘If you want to, we could do it now,’ she suggested nervously.

  ‘No. It wouldn’t be right.’

  ‘The nurses in the hospital talk about it all the time. You don’t have to have a baby. There’s ways of stopping it from happening. I hoped you’d know about them.’

  ‘It’s not that I don’t want to,’ he mumbled in embarrassment. ‘But I promised the colonel and Dino I’d behave like a gentleman with you.’

  ‘Then we could get into bed and just hold one another?’

  ‘We could. But wouldn’t you mind?’

  ‘I love you, Maurice. And I want to give you something special before you go.’ Without waiting for him to reply, she took the blanket from her shoulders and spread it over his bed. He hesitated for a moment, then locked the door. Untying her dressing gown, she turned her back and unbuttoned her pyjamas. His heart travelled to his throat and beat there while he watched her undress.

  ‘I’ve never seen a woman naked before,’ he said huskily as she dropped her jacket and trousers on top of her dressing gown.

  ‘And I’ve never seen a naked man.’ She slipped between the sheets as he shrugged off his jacket. In shirt-sleeves and braces he sat on the bed beside her. ‘You can’t come in like that.’

  ‘You want me to undress too?’ His face flamed at the thought.

  ‘At least take your boots off’

  He bent down to untie them, glad of an excuse to hide his blushes.

  ‘If you’re shy you could put your pyjamas on. It would make it more like we were married.’

  ‘They’re under the pillow.’

  She took them out, but held them back. ‘Maurice, this is the same for both of us. I love you. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our bodies. My mother used to tell me that the right kind of love between a man and a woman is the most important thing in life.’

  ‘I bet she also used to tell you that it should come after the wedding.’

  ‘But we’re not going to do anything wrong. You promised.’ She tossed his pyjamas on to the floor. Unable to me
et her eyes, he stripped down to his shorts, folding his uniform neatly over the chair before turning to the bed. She moved away from the edge, holding back the sheet as he lay rigidly next to her.

  ‘You look as though you’re lying to attention,’ she joked in an attempt to dispel the tension between them.

  ‘I was afraid you’d laugh at me.’

  ‘I thought you would laugh at me.’

  ‘Why should I?’ He turned to face her. ‘You’re beautiful, Liza.’

  ‘I’m not. I’ve got fat legs and no bust …’

  ‘You look just perfect to me.’

  ‘Do you really think so?’

  ‘The perfect girl for me.’ He risked putting his hands around her waist and pulling her close.

  ‘I never thought it would feel like this,’ she breathed headily.

  ‘Nor me. You sure you don’t mind?’ he asked, folding down the sheet so he could see more of her.

  ‘No. This feels right. As though we were meant to be with one another like this.’

  ‘I never imagined that just holding you could make me feel so good.’

  She hugged him tight. ‘You could …’

  ‘I will, but after we’re married. When we can lie like this every night.’ Unable to trust himself to honour the promise he’d made to his commanding officer if he remained next to her any longer, he left the bed.

  ‘I didn’t realise how beautiful a man’s body could be.’

  Disconcerted by her admiration he pulled on his trousers and buttoned the flies. ‘Men aren’t beautiful.’

  ‘You are.’

  He sat beside her. ‘I love you. And I can’t wait until we can be alone together every night.’

  ‘After the war.’ She closed her hand over his as he touched her breasts through the sheet.

  ‘The minute I get permission. You’ll see.’

  ‘Thank you for coming to see Mrs Raschenko with me.’ David Ford offered Bethan his arm as they walked up Taff Street.

  ‘Thank you for going to see her. It would have been terrible if she’d heard about Chuck’s death from a customer.’

  ‘I could see that the news about Chuck reminded her of her husband.’

  ‘Alma doesn’t need anything to remind her of Charlie. I doubt a minute goes by without her thinking of him.’