Broken Rainbows

by Catrin Collier

  ‘I think you need to talk to Megan and the Clark girls, especially Polly.’

  ‘Then you’d have no objection to our offering her a home?’

  ‘None if she agrees, Dino.’

  ‘You wouldn’t feel I was taking her away from you?’

  ‘If you intend living in Pontypridd you wouldn’t be.’

  ‘No I suppose I wouldn’t. See you in the morning, Mrs John.’

  ‘You don’t understand!’ Liza shouted at Jane and Bethan. ‘You can never understand. You’re married, it’s different for you. I wanted to give Maurice everything. I wanted him to make love to me, but he wouldn’t. He said he’d promised the colonel he’d behave like a gentleman, and because of that he died without ever knowing what it was to be with a woman. He’s dead and he’ll never know …’

  Bethan tried to hug her but the girl was frantic.

  ‘Another pill?’ Jane suggested quietly.

  Bethan shook her head. ‘She’s had the maximum dose. And in this state nothing will have any effect.’

  ‘Poor kid.’

  ‘If you get some sleep now, you can take over later.’

  ‘Promise you’ll wake me?’

  ‘If I stay awake myself.’

  It was another hour before Liza’s sobs finally began to quieten. Bethan stayed with her on the bed, holding her tight, and eventually Liza stopped thrashing round. Later, when she’d finally cried herself to sleep, Bethan still sat, stroking her hair, and thinking of Maurice dying before he even knew what it was to live. And Andrew, turning down an unmarried officer’s offer to take his place in the medical station at Dunkirk, and how he’d done exactly the same again after five years of separation. Preferring to carry on working in Europe instead of coming home.

  But it was David Ford who dominated her dreams when she closed her eyes. And when she woke, the first thing she did was find Dino and ask just how badly the colonel had been wounded.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  DEAR JANE,

  I am marrying my co-star Lucy Langdon in London on 7 May. I didn’t want you to read about it in the press, hence this letter. I wish I had been the kind of husband you deserve. Better luck with Tomas.

  I’d appreciate it if you’d pass on the enclosed letter to Anne when she is old enough to understand why we couldn’t go on living together – or not living together – which I suppose was the real truth of our marriage. If you notify my father or Bethan with any change of address, I’ll continue to pay maintenance for Anne and send her birthday and Christmas presents, unless you’d prefer me not to.

  Thank you for three of the happiest years of my life,

  Good luck in the future,

  Haydn

  Jane dropped the letter on to the bench beside her. She looked up as Bethan walked out of the kitchen to join her in the garden.

  ‘Haydn’s getting married again.’

  ‘I know.’ Bethan sat next to her. ‘He sent railway warrants for my father and me. He’s booked rooms for us in a hotel.’

  ‘Are you going?’

  ‘If I do, it will only be to try and talk some sense into him.’

  ‘No, please don’t.’ Jane shook her head. ‘And you should go. He needs you.’

  ‘And you?’

  ‘It’s time I went south.’

  ‘To Tomas?’

  ‘I’ve saved enough to keep Anne and myself for a while. I’ll try and find rooms near where he’s working. If we still feel the same about one another in a month or two, perhaps we’ll marry.’

  ‘And if you don’t feel the same?’

  ‘Then I’ll build a life for myself and Anne. You know something? Now that I’ve finally made the decision, I’m looking forward to going. The war is nearly over. Anne will grow up in peaceful times.’

  ‘And Haydn?’

  ‘Will always be Anne’s father.’

  ‘You haven’t seen the morning paper?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘They’re already hailing Haydn and this Lucy Langdon as the Oliviers of musical comedy.’

  ‘She’s very pretty, Bethan. I hope he loves her.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘What for? You’ve been the best possible sister-in-law, and,’ Jane smiled determinedly, ‘nothing can ever change that.’

  ‘No.’ Bethan hugged her. ‘Not even the Atlantic between us can change that.’

  ‘Come on,’ Jane pulled Bethan’s hand, ‘I want you to drop me off at the station on your way to work. I have train tickets to buy.’

  ‘Steak, French fries, salad and fresh pineapple, please, miss?’

  Jenny looked up from the boxes she was dragging into the shop from the storeroom to see Kurt standing in front of the counter.

  ‘You’re hurt,’ she snapped accusingly, when she realised he was leaning on a stick.

  ‘I promised I’d come back, I didn’t say anything about one piece. Besides, it’s a blessing in disguise. They don’t want men with bullet holes in the Pacific. And I’ve been given a whole week’s leave.’

  ‘Leave? Then you are going back?’

  ‘Only as far as Cardiff to help a man look for all the vehicles and stores we’ve mislaid.’

  ‘Some of those Cardiffians can be rough.’

  ‘Not as rough as Germans, or Pontypridd women come to that. Now, will you marry me?’

  She continued to stare at him as though she couldn’t be sure he was really there.

  ‘I need an answer if I’m going to get an application in before I’m demobbed. On the other hand we could wait until I’m a civilian and pay our own passage back to the States. In fact the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a good idea. That way we won’t have to be separated, ever again. Hey,’ he opened the counter and walked towards her, ‘are those tears I’m seeing?’

  ‘I thought you’d be killed.’

  ‘I told you I wouldn’t be.’

  ‘You don’t have to go back?’

  ‘It’s all over in Europe bar the shouting. You can relax. I’m not going anywhere without you. Come here.’ He pulled her towards him. ‘I’m still waiting for my answer.’

  ‘You really don’t have to fight any more?’

  ‘Only you,’ he joked as he wrapped his arms around her. ‘And you don’t have to be afraid of being happy. I won’t leave you again even if you throw stones. So, what’s it to be?’

  ‘I’ll marry you.’ Her voice was clotted with tears.

  ‘And you’ll come to the States with me?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  ‘Boy oh boy, are my folks going to be surprised when they see you.’ He kissed her, just once, before turning the sign on the door from OPEN to CLOSED.

  *……*……*

  ‘You sure you don’t mind?’

  ‘For the tenth time, no, I don’t mind. Now go and enjoy yourself, will you?’ Phyllis practically pushed Bethan out through the door.

  ‘We’ll look after the children, and the vegetable garden,’ Evan said as he opened the back door of Bethan’s car and lifted in her bag.

  ‘And enjoy the Penycoedcae air while we’re doing it,’ Phyllis smiled.

  ‘Don’t forget to give Haydn our good wishes if this marriage is what he really wants.’ Her father kissed her cheek.

  ‘I will.’ Bethan hugged Rachel, Eddie, Polly, Nelly and Brian one last time, closed the door, waved and drove out into the lane and down the hill towards the station. If anyone had to go to Haydn’s wedding she would have much rather it had been her father, but he had been most insistent that she needed a break more than him; and he had used every excuse he could think of to get her to London, including the argument that Haydn was now closer to her than him. She only wished it was true.

  ‘How long will you be leaving your car here, Mrs John?’ the booking clerk asked, as she handed him the keys in case he had to move it.

  ‘Three or four days at the most. Is that all right?’

  ‘Fine. I’ll look after it, never fear. And don’t forget to give
your brother our congratulations.’

  ‘I won’t.’ Taking her bag she walked up to the platform.

  The journey seemed endless. The hot, airless carriages were packed with servicemen and women wearing every conceivable uniform. The whole country seemed to be on the move. Evacuees going home, soldiers either heading for, or coming from leave, women taking children to visit relatives. And the timetable didn’t help. They stopped at every small town and village en route. Then just before midday when they halted outside a country station festooned with flowers, the doors opened and they heard church bells. The stationmaster lifted his megaphone and shouted:

  ‘It’s over! The war’s over in Europe! It’s been announced on the radio.’

  The echo of ‘it’s over’, ‘it’s all over’ was taken up by everyone on the train. Bethan sat back and watched strangers hugging, kissing and shaking hands. But she simply couldn’t bring herself to join them.

  She remembered her brother, Eddie, twenty-one, young and handsome in his uniform that last time he had come home on leave in 1940. Ronnie telling her how Maud had fallen sick living rough in the Italian hills, so they could escape the Fascist trawl for English aliens. Chuck Reynolds dying of wounds in an aid station at Monte Cassino. Maurice and George shot and killed on a road from France into Germany.

  Someone touched her hand. She turned to see a woman dressed in black sitting next to her. Her eyes were dark, troubled.

  ‘They gave their lives so no one else will have to die,’ she whispered, pitching her voice below the noise in the carriage.

  Bethan couldn’t help asking, ‘But was it worth it?’

  ‘If it finally brings peace, lady, it was worth it,’ an American serviceman standing in front of them declared flatly.

  By the time the train pulled into Paddington station after ten-and-a-half hot, sticky hours of travelling, all Bethan wanted was solitude and a long, cool bath.

  ‘You came, sis!’

  ‘Haydn, I didn’t expect you to meet the train.’

  ‘You know me, ever optimistic. I even hoped Dad might change his mind.’

  ‘He …’

  ‘You don’t have to make excuses for him, Bethan. I know how fond he is of Jane. How fond you all are of her. I only hope you like Lucy half as much.’ He picked up her bag. ‘Come on, I’ve a car waiting.’

  ‘How are Anne and Jane?’ he asked as the driver inched his way out of the station into the stream of traffic.

  ‘Both well.’

  ‘She writes to you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘When is she marrying D’Este?’

  ‘She’s not, at least she has no immediate plans to.’

  ‘But she will,’ he asserted firmly, as though he needed to convince himself.

  ‘She left Pontypridd intending to build a new life for herself and Anne, I don’t think D’Este came into it,’ she murmured, stretching the truth.

  ‘She never has had much of a life or a home. First the workhouse, then getting bombed out of London less than a year after we married.’

  ‘It’s not too late, Haydn. I have her address. It’s not far from London, you could …’

  He shook his head. ‘You never give up do you, Beth? This time tomorrow I’ll be a married man again, and a week later Lucy and I will be heading for America on the Queen Mary. We’re making a film there.’

  ‘Do you love her, Haydn?’

  ‘Haven’t you heard? The whole world loves Lucy Langdon.’

  ‘That’s not what I asked.’

  ‘I’d be a fool not to. She understands me and showbusiness. We’ve lived together for nearly a year, and when we were touring, in the most primitive and disgusting conditions. I think we stand a chance of making it work.’

  ‘And love?’

  ‘I tried that once, I’m not in a hurry to do it again.’

  ‘Haydn …’

  ‘Please, Beth, I’ve made my decision. From now on my career comes first. That’s the way it is and is going to be. Try and be happy for me.’

  ‘I will if it’s what you really want.’

  ‘It’s what I want,’ he reiterated. ‘Now about tonight. Lucy and I are in a show …’

  ‘I can look after myself.’

  ‘No doubt you can, but I’ve got you a ticket and an escort. Can you get ready in an hour?’

  ‘If I have to.’

  ‘The show isn’t that bad, sis.’

  ‘It’s just that I’m tired.’

  ‘You’ve got the rest of your life to sleep. Tonight we celebrate. Do you know the Prime Minister has designated tomorrow as Victory in Europe Day?’

  ‘You’ll have no excuse to forget this wedding anniversary.’

  ‘No I won’t.’ He glanced out of the car window at a group of American servicemen dancing with a couple of WAACs in the street. ‘But I still have difficulty in believing it’s really over.’

  The hairdresser and maid in the hotel performed miracles. Three-quarters of an hour after Bethan booked into reception she was standing on the staircase that led down to the foyer, bathed, perfumed and wearing a freshly pressed evening gown. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw a familiar figure standing in front of the desk. He looked older than when he’d left her house a year ago and there were lines of pain etched around his eyes. Steadying herself on the handrail she walked down to meet him.

  ‘You’re as beautiful as ever, Mrs Powell.’ David Ford stepped forward and kissed her cheek.

  ‘Haydn said he’d arranged an escort for me. I had no idea it would be you.’

  ‘We met a couple of months back when he put on a concert in the hospital I was convalescing in. We kept in touch, and when he said you were coming here for the wedding, I offered.’

  ‘Dino told me you’d been wounded. I meant to write …’ Unable to think of an excuse as to why she hadn’t, she found difficulty in meeting his eyes.

  ‘Nice dress,’ he complimented, offering her his arm.

  ‘Same old velvet.’

  ‘Ah, but you wear it with such style, it looks new.’

  ‘You haven’t forgotten how to flatter.’

  The concierge held the door open for them and he walked her to the waiting car. She saw him grimace as he stepped into the back and sat beside her.

  ‘Dino said you’d been badly wounded.’

  ‘Dino exaggerated.’

  ‘Judging by the way you look, not much.’

  ‘A bullet in the chest. It’s more or less healed.’

  ‘I can tell by your breathing.’

  ‘Stop being a nurse for five minutes and give me all the news. How is my sergeant?’

  ‘Waiting to be demobbed so he can marry Megan.’

  ‘Then he is staying in Pontypridd?’

  ‘I’m afraid he’s put my aunt before his country.’

  ‘Lucky man to have that choice.’

  Remembering a past conversation with Haydn, she wondered if her brother had deliberately engineered this meeting between her and David Ford. ‘Kurt Schaffer and Jenny are marrying next month. He won’t be demobbed for at least another year but they hope to settle in the States.’

  ‘That’s my country. Win some, lose some. And Liza and her sisters?’

  ‘Are staying with me at present, but Dino and Megan have offered Polly a home.’

  ‘Has Liza recovered from hearing about Maurice?’

  ‘That depends on what you mean by “recovered”. She’ll never forget him, but there’s a couple of young men who’ve come back from prison camps who are trying to help her come to terms with his death.’

  ‘The young have had to grow up fast the last few years.’

  ‘And your son?’

  ‘He’s mad because his old man pulled strings to organise a safe job for him.’

  ‘Clever old man.’

  ‘I told him I’d rather have him angry than dead. It didn’t go down too well.’

  ‘He’ll forgive you.’

  ‘I’m not so sure. Haydn’s throwin
g a party after the show for everyone who can’t go to the wedding tomorrow.’

  ‘Are you going to the wedding?’

  ‘Didn’t he tell you? I’m best man.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I was going to suggest that as we’re both going, perhaps we could skip the party and have a quiet dinner?’ When she hesitated, he murmured, ‘Not even Mrs Llewellyn-Jones’s spies reach as far as London.’

  ‘There’s nothing I’d like better than a quiet dinner with you, Colonel Ford.’

  ‘Good, because I’ve already booked the table. I just hope it holds good in all this bedlam of victory euphoria.’

  ‘Lucy’s beautiful and charming, isn’t she?’ David asked as he and Bethan sat across from one another in a crowded restaurant.

  ‘Charming,’ Bethan echoed, thinking of Jane and wishing her new sister-in-law was anything but.

  ‘Your brother’s a lucky man. First Jane, now Lucy.’

  ‘He would have been luckier if he’d held on to Jane.’

  ‘People and times change. I think both he and Jane will be happier the way they are now, than if they’d stayed together.’

  ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘Because I had a letter from Tomas D’Este yesterday. He seems pretty confident that he’ll be able to get Jane to marry him before too long.’ He tasted the wine the waiter poured into his glass, and nodded approval. ‘So, we’ve talked about everyone except us.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘How is your husband?’

  ‘I had a card two days ago to say he was well and free.’

  ‘He’s not home?’

  ‘No. Although other POWs who were in the same area returned to Pontypridd in April. They told me that the camp he was in had been liberated two weeks before theirs.’ She toyed nervously with her wine glass. ‘You told me before you left that it wasn’t the right time and place for us. Perhaps it could be now?’

  ‘I’d like nothing better than to make you fall in love with me, but it would have to be for the right reasons. Tell me truthfully, would you even be here having dinner with me if your husband had come home?’

  ‘Probably not.’

  ‘He’s a doctor,’ he said slowly, ‘and there’s a desperate shortage of medical personnel in Germany right now.’

  ‘There’s doctors with the invasion force, and in Europe.’