Where the Light Glows

by Dena Blake

  Jack was leaning back against the counter casually when Mel came back into the kitchen. “It’s too bad your friend had to leave. She’s cute. Do you see her often?”

  “It’s not like that, Jack.” She twisted the wedding ring on her finger. “Unlike you, I believed in those vows when I took them.”

  “What makes you think I didn’t?” He tossed the package of crab from hand to hand.

  “The fact you’ve been in town since Friday and I haven’t seen you until tonight. Were you with her again?” She intercepted the package and put it back in the bag, following it with the eggs and cheese.

  “With who?”

  “Don’t patronize me, Jack. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And the way you look back.” She blew out a breath. “You used to look at me that way.”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to tell me the truth.”

  “Yes, I was with her.”

  “Every time you sleep with someone else, it chips away a little more of my heart.”

  “I’ve never lied to you, Mel.”

  “Because I’ve always been afraid to ask.”

  “You don’t respond to me, not like—”

  “Don’t you dare say like her.” She fought to hold the tears back.

  “You don’t respond to me, not like you should. I want a woman who can’t keep her hands off me. Who doesn’t have to drink a half a bottle of wine for her to feel comfortable having sex.”

  A sob threatened to escape, and Mel slapped a hand to her mouth. Her heart began to pound. He was right. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d made love when she hadn’t been drinking. She’d always thought it made it better, but now she could see it just made it easier.

  “Maybe it wouldn’t be like that if I wasn’t afraid of picking up some kind of STD whenever we have sex,” she shot back.

  “Don’t do that, Mel.” He shook his head. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want more.” He pushed away from the counter and paced across the kitchen. “I deserve more. So do you.”

  “That’s it? Ten years and just like that? You’re done?” She felt the tears spill out, and Jack moved toward her. “No.” She threw up a hand to hold him back. “You’re right. I can’t do this anymore. It hasn’t been a picnic for me either. I’m done.” She grabbed the bag from the counter and rushed out of the kitchen, looking for a way to escape. Somewhere, anywhere but here. She heard Jack come after her from the kitchen. She grabbed her keys and flew out the door to her car.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mel stood at the door of Nancy’s house and raised her hand to knock. She pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes, but it did no good. Every time she cleared them away, they filled her eyes even heavier. When she finally thought she had herself under control, she knocked. She saw Nancy in the doorway and the floodgates opened again. “He doesn’t want me anymore, Nance,” she choked out.

  Nancy put her arms out and Mel fell into them. “Oh my God, come here.” She led her into the living room and sat her down on the couch.

  Mel sobbed uncontrollably, then tried to pull herself together. Nancy reached across her to the side table and pulled a wad of tissues from the box. Mel took them from her and blew her nose.

  “I’ll get you a glass of wine.” Nancy got up to move past her to the kitchen.

  Jack’s words echoed in her head. Someone who doesn’t have to drink a half a bottle of wine for her to feel comfortable having sex. She grabbed Nancy’s hand. “No. No wine.”

  “Okay…coffee? Tea?”

  “Tea.” Mel blew her nose again as Nancy disappeared into the kitchen. She scanned Nancy’s living room. The place was so clean, almost clinical. Mail stacked neatly on the entry table, matching throw pillows in exactly the right spot on the couch. Even the TV remotes were lined up perfectly on the end table. Everything was in its place, but no pictures, no comfort, no love filled the house. This was what it was like to live alone.

  Nancy reappeared with two cups of tea and handed one to Mel. “You want to tell me what happened?”

  Mel nodded. “Jack was at the house when Izzy and I got home from the city.”

  “Oh. You were with Izzy today?” Nancy’s voice rose, and Mel could hear the question in her tone.

  She nodded. “We drove in to get some crab so I could show her how I fix my crab omelets.” She wiped her nose with the tissue. “Anyway, when I saw Jack, I got nervous and acted like she was just there to show me how to cook.”

  “So she left. What did Jack say about the two of you?”

  “He didn’t come right out and say it, but he wanted to know if I was seeing her.”

  “And you said?”

  “I said no, of course. We’re just friends.”

  “Okay…” Nancy shifted on the couch to face Mel, skepticism in her face.

  “He told me he’d just gotten back in town, but he’s been here since at least Friday night—with that reporter.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Izzy told me Friday night she’d seen him at the market.”

  “Hmm…so you were with Izzy again?”

  “I was with her all freakin’ weekend, okay,” Mel blurted, and Nancy’s brows flew up. “It wasn’t like that. She lives at the beach and invited me out for…and we…I just hung out there with her…and…shit!” It was like that. She hopped up and paced the room, kneading her forehead with her fingers. Mel had kissed Izzy multiple times and wanted to do it again. She’d finally admitted to herself she’d gone way past the friend stage weeks ago.

  “Yeah, shit.” Nancy nodded. “I’m not condoning what he’s done, but you clearly have eyes for someone else.”

  Mel relayed the rest of the conversation she’d had with Jack about their sex life.

  “Jesus, Mel. Half a bottle of wine?”

  She nodded. “I didn’t realize it, but I do when I think back.” Mel blew out a short breath. “This whole time, I just thought he was sleeping with other women because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, not because of me.”

  “So what are you going to do now?”

  “I don’t know.” Mel shrugged. “I always thought I’d be the one to break it off.”

  “Well, I guess you have a decision to make, but it’s pretty clear to me who you want to be with.” She squeezed Mel’s shoulder. “Let’s get you something to eat.” Nancy picked up their cups of tea that were long cold by now and took them into the kitchen.

  Mel retrieved the grocery bag she’d left in the entryway and followed. She slid the bag onto the breakfast bar and took a seat on one of the barstools.

  Nancy picked up the bag, emptied it, and held up the white, butcher-papered, package. “Crab?”

  Mel nodded. “I wasn’t about to leave it for Jack.”

  “So, you want an omelet?” Nancy’s mouth hitched up on one side. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist. Salad or grilled cheese?”

  “Do you have avocado?”

  “Let me see.” Nancy pulled open the refrigerator door, put the crab along with the eggs and cheese onto the shelf, and then pulled open the produce drawer. “Yep. Tomatoes and cucumbers too.”

  “Then salad.”

  Nancy washed the tomato and cucumber and set them on the counter next to the avocado. She picked up a cutting board, took a knife from the block, and then slid them in front of Mel along with the washed vegetables. “Cut, please.”

  Mel did as Nancy asked, then divided the vegetables into each bowl of lettuce as Nancy rounded the counter and took the seat next to her. She put two bottles of dressing in front of her. “Your choices tonight, my dear.” Mel reached for Italian, and Nancy took ranch. They sat eating quietly for a while until Nancy broke the silence. “So are you gonna tell her?”

  “Who?”

  Nancy’s eyes widened. “The woman you’ve been crushing on for the past few weeks.”

  Mel stared blankly at her salad and pushed the lettuce around in the bowl. “I think maybe I should tak
e care of things with Jack first. I don’t want to give him any ammunition if he decides not to be amicable.”

  “That’s probably a good idea.” Nancy scooped up the last bit of salad onto her fork and slid it into her mouth.

  “Yeah, probably,” Mel said. The hard part was actually doing it. The pull she felt from Izzy was stronger than anything she’d ever experienced before. But what if Izzy moved on before she’d taken care of things with Jack?

  “The bigger question is how are you going to do without all of that wonderful food?” Nancy cleared their plates and set them in the sink.

  “I need to cut back on my carbs anyway.” Mel got up and helped her clean the dishes.

  Nancy took her by the hand and led her to her bedroom. “Come on. You can stay with me tonight.”

  Mel slowed as they passed the guest-room door. “Uh, I can stay in here.”

  “No, you can’t. I’ve been sorting through my closets. The bed’s covered with clothes, and I’m not going to move them. You’ll have to sleep with me.” She opened the door, showed her, and closed it again before she turned to Mel and quirked an eyebrow up. “So you’ll need to keep your hands to yourself.”

  Mel chuckled. “Oh, okay. I’ll try.”

  *

  Izzy sat in her Jeep in front of her parents’ house, staring at the amber light in the window. Her dad must be out somewhere. Bella always left the small antique brass lamp turned on when Benito was away as a sign she was inside waiting for him. Bella had performed the ritual since he’d gone to war right after they were first married. Whenever he was away, the light was on. Benito was proud of that fact too. When he was out with his friends and had to head back home, he never failed to tell them he was going where the light glows. To him this meant he was going home to the woman who held his heart. Someday Izzy hoped to have someone hold her heart that way. Chasing a married woman certainly wasn’t the way to make it happen.

  When Izzy entered the kitchen, Bella was playing gin rummy at the table with her Aunt Julia. “Where’s Pop?”

  “With your Uncle Rennie at the Giants’ game.” That was one of the good things about being part of a large Italian family: there was always someone to go to the game with.

  “Oh yeah. I forgot they were playing at home tonight.” Izzy’s dad had been a season-ticket holder for more than thirty years and rarely missed a game. When she was a kid, Benito had five tickets, one for himself and each of his kids. Izzy loved going to the ballgames.

  “Have you found yourself a new girl yet?” Julia blurted.

  “Julia, she isn’t ready to start dating so soon after her breakup with whatshername. Right, Izzy?” Bella said.

  “Her name is Dana.”

  “That’s not important.” Julia threw her hands up. She was a physical talker who didn’t pull any punches. “What matters is you need to get out and be social. Meet someone new.” Her voice became louder, her Italian impatience flaring.

  “Actually, I thought I had, but I don’t think it’s going to work out.”

  Both women dropped their cards to the table and gave Izzy their full attention.

  “Tell us what the problem is, dear.” Bella’s eyes were wide with curiosity.

  “Yes, tell us.” Julia scooted her chair closer to Izzy. “We don’t need all the details. Just the facts.”

  Bella disagreed. “What are you saying? Of course we want all the details.”

  “The fact is, she’s married.”

  “Oh my, Isabel,” they said in unison, disapproval ringing through. “That’s not good.”

  “Don’t get all crazy on me. Nothing’s happened between us. But she’s not happy with her husband.”

  “Then you must let their path run its course,” Julia declared.

  “If it’s meant to be, she’ll free herself,” Bella insisted. She motioned to Julia and they both nodded.

  “That’s what I did so many years ago. Then I met your Uncle Rennie.” Julia beamed.

  “Now that was meant to be.” Bella smiled widely.

  The two sisters had the most annoying yet uncanny way of reading each other’s thoughts. Where one left off, the other began, as though they shared the same mind.

  *

  Mel was spooned against Nancy’s back when she woke up, and it took her a minute to realize where she was and who she was spooning. She also realized she had Nancy’s breast cupped in her hand. Before she could move it, she heard a soft groan and Nancy said, “Are you gonna do something with that hand, or are you just teasing me?” Mel chuckled and rolled to her back. Nancy grumbled. “Not the choice I was hoping for.”

  “Sorry. I’m a cuddler.”

  “I remember.” Nancy rolled over to face her, and Mel saw something different skitter across her face. “You know you wouldn’t be so difficult to resist if you hadn’t gotten so damn beautiful.” She brushed a stray strand of hair from Mel’s face and tucked it up behind her ear. Nancy was silent for a moment, seemingly lost in the past. “Why couldn’t you have gotten ugly or something?”

  “Would that change things?” Mel lifted a brow.

  “No.” Nancy rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’d still want you.”

  “I wish I could change the way I feel.” Mel gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

  Nancy let out a growl. “If I didn’t love you, I’d definitely take advantage of this situation.”

  “I know.” She flopped her head to the side. “I’m sorry I was such a mess last night.”

  “You were a fucking mess.” Nancy laughed. “Which is a switch. I’m usually the one with all the drama.”

  “I don’t know what to do, Nance.”

  “First things first. You need to call Mike and get the ball rolling on your divorce.” Nancy pushed out of bed, took the cordless phone from the nightstand, and tossed it to the spot she’d just vacated. “I’m going to jump in the shower.” She moved through the bathroom doorway and then peeked back out at Mel. “Wanna wash my back?”

  “Go.” Mel rolled her eyes and shooed her with a backhanded wave.

  Nancy was right. It was no use trying anymore, and she certainly didn’t want to live like she had been with Jack for the rest of her life.

  Her whole weekend with Izzy—the beach, the wharf, that beautiful sunset—had been so perfect. She’d been excited about bringing her home, sharing dinner, a bottle of wine, and who knows what else with her. It had been clear when they’d returned home to find Jack in the kitchen that Mel had put the cart before the horse. She still had issues to deal with before any of that could happen. Her ten-year relationship with Jack was over but not quite finished.

  They had to deal with legal matters. Mel wanted out, but she needed to be smart about it. If Jack had any inkling she might be seeing someone else, which he might have after last night, he could make the financial split long and arduous. Her mother had warned her, and Mel now knew she should have never agreed to merge their financial portfolios without a prenup. At the time, she’d never doubted that her relationship with Jack was permanent. Today she would call her brother, Mike, who was also her attorney, and get the paperwork started. Soon Jack would be free of her, and she would be faced with the cold reality of starting over.

  *

  What the hell am I doing? Mel flashed a look over at Nancy belted into the passenger seat next to her as she weaved in and out of traffic. She’d gone to bed with a knot in her stomach last night and hadn’t slept nearly enough to be faced with her dilemma again so early this morning. She needed to apologize to Izzy and let her know everything she’d seen last night was a perfectly choreographed show Jack had perfected over the years to fool anyone who cared to take an interest in their relationship.

  “Mel, are you listening to me?” Nancy asked.

  “What?” she said, snapping her attention back. “Of course I’m listening.”

  “Where are we going? You just passed the Mexican restaurant.” Nancy grabbed the oh-shit handle above the window when Mel threw her blinker
on, jerked into the right lane, and took the next exit.

  “Bella’s. I thought you might like to eat there again.”

  “So much for my input.” She flopped her head back against the headrest.

  “I really need to apologize to Izzy for last night.”

  “A phone call would probably do.”

  “You don’t think I should do it in person?”

  “I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.”

  “Why?”

  “Remember our conversation last night? I thought you were going to stay away from her until you took care of things with Jack.”

  “I changed my mind.”

  “Are you sure she’s not seeing someone?”

  “I’ve spent enough time with her recently, I’d know that.”

  “True. You’ve spent so much time with her, I thought you were seeing her.”

  Without another word, Mel whipped the car into a parking space between two Ford trucks. “Come on. You love the food here.”

  “If you say so.” Nancy got out of the car and followed her into the restaurant.

  Angie wasn’t at the hostess station, so Mel reached behind it and grabbed a couple of menus before finding them a table. “Did you see the special on the board when we came in?”

  “No. I didn’t notice.”

  “I wonder where everyone is.” Mel glanced toward the kitchen.

  “It’s only eleven o’clock. They’re probably not all here yet.”

  “Will you excuse me for a minute?” Mel didn’t wait for an answer. She dropped the menus on the table and headed across the restaurant and into the kitchen.

  “While you’re in there, find out what the special is.”

  “Hey, Tony.”

  “Hey, beautiful.” His blue eyes creased at the sides as he smiled.

  “Where’s everyone?”

  “Angie’s running late, as usual, and Izzy’s gone to the market.”