A Mother's Choice

by Kristin Noel Fischer

  Pressing a hand to her stomach, Eleanor glanced at our mother’s hands and then at the movie. I braced myself for disapproval, but my sister’s voice turned wistful. “This is the part where Kurt Russell kicks Elvis.”

  Sure enough, Elvis walked up to a kid and offered him a quarter if the kid kicked him in the shin. The kid did, and Elvis feigned great trauma.

  “Wow, I can’t believe that’s Kurt Russell,” I said, remembering him from the movie Touchback.

  To my surprise, Eleanor smiled and her entire face changed. “Mother loved Elvis. If anything will bring her back, it will be his music. Good call on the movie.”

  I tried not to pass out from Eleanor’s approval. “Thanks. How are you doing?”

  Instead of answering, she emitted a slow, strange groan. At first, I thought she was crying, but when I looked at her, I realized she was in pain.

  “Eleanor, what is it?”

  Shaking her head, she hunched over slightly and took several shallow breaths. She pressed her hands to her stomach and closed her eyes.

  “Eleanor! You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

  Opening her eyes, she straightened and spoke in a calm voice as if nothing had happened. “It’s just a contraction. I’ve been having them all morning.”

  “What?” I jumped to my feet and circled the bed to her side. “Are you serious?”

  She bristled as though worried I might touch her or overreact to the fact she was in labor. “I’m fine. I’m on my way up to obstetrics to get checked, but—”

  She couldn’t finish her sentence because another contraction grabbed her. Her face tightened and perspiration broke out across her brow and face. I held my breath, waiting for it to end. When it finally did, she grimaced. “Ouch. I forgot how much that hurts.”

  “Those last two were close together. We better go.”

  She hesitated and shot a glance at our mother. “I wanted to see her before I had the baby, in case …”

  “Mom’s going to make it, and you’ll be fine, too,” I said, willing it to be true.

  Eleanor avoided my gaze and looked at our mother without speaking.

  Fear gripped me. What if my sister knew something I didn’t? What if she’d already spoken to the doctors, and there was no hope for recovery?

  “I’ll wait outside,” I said, thinking it might be easier for Eleanor to talk if I wasn’t there.

  “No, it’s fine.” She turned and walked toward the door, stopping as another contraction hit. She breathed through it before asking me to call Jim. “Tell him to pick up Aubrey from school, okay? I’ve left several messages, but—”

  “Don’t you want him here with you? I’ll get Aubrey. Let me help you to labor and delivery and—”

  “No, I can go on my own.”

  I stared at my sister as though she’d grown two heads. “I’m coming with you. You can’t have a baby by yourself.”

  Her response was interrupted by a huge contraction that caused her to bend over and release a very un-Eleanor-like moan. She tightened her fists, and her face turned red. She wasn’t going to have the baby here, was she?

  I moved beside her and took her by the elbow. “That looked like a tough one. I’m walking with you, and I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ll call Jim on the way upstairs, but I’m staying until he gets here.”

  She relented and said nothing more as we climbed the stairs to labor and delivery. I’d suggested the elevator, but Eleanor insisted that was tempting fate, and she refused to make headline news by delivering her own baby in a broken elevator.

  “Good point,” I agreed.

  When her phone rang, she answered it immediately. I assumed it was her husband saying he was almost here, but it became obvious it was someone she worked with. Between catching her breath from contractions and climbing the stairs, my amazing, overly ambitious sister rattled off various test results and medical terms I didn’t understand. Sometimes it was easy to forget her uptight personality contributed to a successful career.

  Once on the third floor, I opened the stairwell door, where an older nurse greeted us. Her eyes widened when she saw my sister. “Dr. Fairchild?”

  Eleanor scrunched up her face and folded her arms into her chest as another contraction hit. “I might be in labor.”

  I stepped aside and held the door open so Eleanor could pass through. “Ignore her. She’s definitely in labor.”

  The nurse moved behind the counter. “Okay, we’re busy, but we’ll put you in a room as—”

  “I need to push,” Eleanor said.

  Those four magical words stopped everything. The older nurse tore around the counter to my sister’s side. She called for a younger nurse to “Get Dr. Gilbert now!”

  I hung back, not sure what to do, but Eleanor yelled my name. “Autumn, don’t leave me.”

  “I’m right here.”

  As another contraction hit, she grasped my hand, squeezing so hard my arm turned white, but I was happy to be there for her. Happy she wasn’t trying to get rid of me.

  We moved down the hall, and as soon as we reached the exam room, Eleanor leaned forward, clinging to the bed. “The baby’s right there. He’s right there!”

  “Hold on, Dr. Fairchild. Don’t push,” the nurse said.

  Eleanor ignored the command and bore down hard, her face turning purple. Even though I’d experienced that primal need to push, I was shocked to see my sister so out of control and defiant.

  When the contraction ended, she took a deep cleansing breath, just like the one they showed on the birthing video. Her voice returned to its normal calm and authoritative state. “He’s not going to wait much longer.”

  “Okay,” the nurse said. “Let’s get you settled and see where we are.”

  All modesty was tossed aside as I helped Eleanor remove her clothes, put on a gown, and climb into the bed. The nurse checked her, confirming that yes, not only was Eleanor in labor, but she was completely dilated and fully effaced.

  “Just get him out,” Eleanor said as the next contraction hit.

  “Okay,” the nurse said, moving into position.

  Panic struck me but to my relief, the door opened and the younger nurse, followed by a familiar looking doctor, entered.

  “I told you to get Dr. G.,” the older nurse spat.

  The younger nurse gestured behind her. “This was the best I could do. Dr. G. is delivering a C-section.”

  Kyle grinned. “I’ll try not to take that personally.”

  “Kyle?” I said, confused. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be working in Austin?”

  He turned on the faucet, washed his hands, and slipped on his gloves. “They transferred me here this morning. I guess they knew Dr. Fairchild might need me.”

  Eleanor held out a hand to stop him from coming any closer. “I’m not having a medical student deliver me!”

  Kyle gave his easy, confident smile. “At this point, I’m all you’ve got. And for the record, I’m a third-year resident, not a med student.”

  “Dr. Anderson is very capable,” the older nurse said. “I only requested Dr. Gilbert because I assumed you’d be more comfortable with him, but I don’t think it matters at this point.”

  Eleanor gave a sigh of exasperation. “Fine.”

  Kyle examined her and confirmed what the older nurse had determined. Ready or not, the baby was on his way.

  Without warning, an animalistic scream shot out of my sister’s mouth. Fear gripped me almost as hard as her hand around mine. She raised her head and pushed as if her life depended on it.

  And then a tiny, blue creature slipped into my husband’s arms. “Here he is,” Kyle said, reverently. “A little boy.”

  He suctioned the baby before placing him on Eleanor’s stomach. The older nurse rubbed the infant with a blanket until he let out a loud cry. My heart exploded, and I laughed at the excitement of it all.

  Eleanor placed a hand on her son’s head and grinned. “Oh, baby! Look at you. You’re h
ere! You’re here, and you’re so beautiful.”

  The nurse patted Kyle’s back. “Well done, Dr. Anderson.”

  My husband shrugged. “Dr. Fairchild did all the work.”

  “But you caught him,” I said, gazing at my husband in amazement. “If you hadn’t been here …”

  Kyle winked at me, and my heart did a little flip flop. He’d just delivered Eleanor’s baby! My husband—the doctor!

  I’d known he was a doctor, of course. I’d even known he felt comfortable delivering babies, but I’d never seen him in action. Usually, I only saw Kyle in the I-have-to-go-back-to-the-hospital and leave-his-dirty-dishes-in-the-kitchen-sink way. Seeing him in his profession overwhelmed and impressed me. How many marriages could be saved by encouraging spouses to take field trips to each other’s place of employment?

  The younger nurse motioned to the baby. “What are you going to name him?”

  Eleanor smiled. “I was thinking about Kyle.”

  Kyle’s head snapped up. “Seriously?”

  “No. I’m joking,” Eleanor said for perhaps the first time in her life. She looked down at her baby, and her expression softened. “I’m going to name him Jude … after Dad.”

  My heart squeezed tight, and I felt an overwhelming need to protect this newest member of our family. It was amazing the bond I had with a baby I’d just met.

  Is that what happened when I was born? Had my mom been present when they pulled me from Angela? Had her love for me been so great she decided to raise me as her own, hiding the painful truth in order to spare my feelings?

  I understood that, but why hadn’t Eleanor, Dan, or Michael ever said anything? And what compelled them to keep the secret as I got older?

  The door opened, and Jim rushed to Eleanor’s side, embracing her. “I’m so sorry, honey. I got caught in traffic and—”

  Eleanor stiffened and shot her husband a resentful look. She placed her hands protectively over the baby. Jim didn’t seem to notice his wife’s bitterness. He stared down at his son and his breath hitched. “Oh, wow. He’s incredible. Can I hold him?”

  Without waiting for permission, Jim scooped up the baby. Immediately, Eleanor criticized him, saying, “You’ve got to support his head better. He’s only a few minutes old.”

  Trying to please his wife, Jim shifted the baby in his arms. “How’s this?”

  She responded with a huff that her husband either didn’t hear or simply ignored. I glanced at Kyle to see if he felt the tension as well, but he was focused on taking care of my sister.

  Later, when Kyle finished and was leaving, Eleanor called after him. “Dr. Anderson?”

  Kyle turned around. “Yes?”

  “You did a great job. Sorry I overreacted when you walked in the room. I just wasn’t expecting you.”

  Kyle grinned. “No problem.”

  “And I wasn’t expecting you to do such a good job, either. But you did.”

  He chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest, making me love him even more. “I’m glad I exceeded your expectations. Congratulations on the baby.”

  I stared as he walked out the door, my soul full of tenderness for him. “I’ll be right back.”

  I left the room and strode down the hallway until I found Kyle standing at the nurses’ station, logging onto a computer. My heart skipped like a silly schoolgirl with a crush on the quarterback.

  “Hey,” he said as I approached. “Does Eleanor need something?”

  “No, it’s just …” I tried to find the right words. “Well, I just wanted to say that was pretty amazing back there. You did a really good job. I didn’t know you could do that, and I’m so impressed.”

  He tried to hide the smile tugging at his lips. “It was a pretty easy delivery.”

  “For you. I couldn’t have done something like that. I’m amazed. I mean, I know you’re smart and a doctor and have done this before, but I’ve never seen you do anything so incredible. I—”

  Kyle frowned. “What did you think I was doing at the hospital all this time? Sitting around drinking beer and playing video games?”

  I flinched at his words until he laughed, and I realized he was joking. Returning his laugh, I said, “Well, those are two activities you’re fairly good at.”

  He chuckled. “Touché.”

  “Dr. Anderson,” a medical assistant called. “Can you check on the patient in room twelve?”

  “On my way.” Kyle smiled at me. “Gotta go, but I’ll see you tonight.”

  I needed to hug him before he left, so I threw my arms around his slim waist and squeezed tight. “I love you.”

  I could tell I’d embarrassed him, but I didn’t care. He was my husband, and despite the fact he could make me so mad, we were together for better or worse.

  He put a limp hand around me. “I love you, too, Autumn.”

  The attending physician came out of a patient room and shouted, “Way to go, Dr. Anderson! Now, get back to work.”

  Kyle laughed, then kissed me hard on the lips, leaving me breathless. “We’ll continue this tonight.”

  Chapter 22

  After leaving the labor and delivery ward, I returned to my mother’s room. Someone had restarted the movie, or maybe it was on a continuous roll, because Elvis and the other man were on their way to the fair in the back of Mr. Ling’s truck with Sue Lin.

  I placed a hand on my mother’s forehead and brushed back her hair. “You have another grandson, Mom. Eleanor named him Jude after Dad. He’s beautiful.”

  I waited for a response. Imagined my mother’s eyes opening as if waking from a long nap on the couch. During Christmas break, we’d watched a lot of movies together, both of us napping on our separate couches while the boys colored at the kitchen table.

  In the movie, Elvis began playing the ukulele and singing, “Take Me to the Fair.” My mom used to play that song on the piano, and I remembered it well. I sang along, rocking my shoulders back and forth to the happy music.

  Then, in perfect synchronization with the beat, my mom’s finger twitched.

  Everything inside me froze. “Mom?”

  I waited, holding my breath for what seemed like an eternity. “Mom? Can you hear me? Can you hear the music?”

  She didn’t respond, and no matter how long I waited or how many times I called her name, her body remained still and lifeless. Had her movement been just a mere coincidence? I wanted to believe it was more than that.

  Discouraged, I glanced up at the TV, and that’s when I saw her. “Mom! Is that you in the movie?”

  I jumped to my feet and hit rewind until I found her again. Pressing pause, I moved closer to the TV. My mom was walking next to the geeky redhead from the photo album. They weren’t holding hands, but their arms were touching.

  On the other side of him walked Ruby. I forwarded the scene slowly and watched Ruby point to the bank building. My mom laughed and followed her friend’s gaze.

  The geeky redhead’s gaze, however, remained completely focused on my mother. He said something, and she leaned into him, swatting him on the arm in a flirtatious manner. They both laughed, and he slung an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her tight.

  A sickening feeling of awareness skittered across my chest. I shuddered and pushed the idea away.

  *

  Later in the week, Darlene met me at my car when I picked up Zane from daycare. She handed me an aluminum wrapped casserole dish, a pre-made salad, and a loaf of French bread. “I’ll feed your boys dinner if you take this to Eleanor.”

  “Don’t you want to deliver it yourself?” I asked, placing the meal on the passenger seat.

  Ignoring my question, she addressed Logan. “Why don’t you go inside, honey? The kids are eating pizza at the kitchen table, and I even have your favorite: plain cheese.”

  “Yum!” Logan leapt out of the van and ran into Darlene’s house without asking my permission or saying good-bye.

  I eyed my sister-in-law cautiously. “What’s going on? Why don’t you want to
take the meal to Eleanor yourself?”

  “I just spoke to her on the phone, and she’s in a prickly mood.”

  “Great. So you’re sending me?”

  Darlene laughed. “Hey, you were there when she gave birth. You’re probably best friends now.”

  “Hardly!” Although, if I was honest, I secretly hoped childbirth had brought me closer to my sister. At least close enough that we could have an honest discussion about our family history.

  Agreeing to Darlene’s arrangement, I drove over to Eleanor’s house and parked behind the lawn service trailer. Vilda answered the door and lifted Darlene’s dinner from my arms.

  “How was girl’s night out?” I asked.

  “Fabulous.”

  “Did you dance with any cute boys?”

  “You know it!”

  I followed her into the living room where Aubrey, wearing a bright yellow sundress with a white sweater and white leggings, practiced the piano. My sister sat on the couch nursing the baby. She looked so disheveled I barely recognized her.

  “Darlene sent you dinner, and I brought cookies.” I held up the white bakery box tied with a blue ribbon in honor of my new nephew.

  Aubrey twirled around on the piano bench. “May I have one, please?”

  “Not until after dinner,” Eleanor said.

  My niece, the wonder child, simply nodded.

  “Come on, Eleanor,” I said, untying the ribbon and opening the box. “One little cookie isn’t going to kill her. It’s a special occasion.”

  Aubrey looked at Eleanor with hopeful eyes. “Please, Mom.”

  My sister gave an exasperated sigh and reached for a chocolate chip cookie. “We never eat cookies before dinner or during the week. You’re the worst aunt ever. You know that, right?”

  I grinned. “You should give me a coffee mug with that slogan.”

  Eleanor shook her head with disgust. “Okay, Aubrey. You can have one cookie, but you have to eat it at the kitchen table.”

  “Can I take one for Vilda?”

  “Of course,” I said, eager to fatten the young nanny.

  Aubrey chose her cookies and skipped away. I closed the box and set it on the coffee table before sitting across from Eleanor on the brown leather swivel chair. “How’s little Jude doing?” I asked, rocking side to side.