“When I got to school, I went to the office, but I could feel everyone looking at me. By the time it was done, I was asked to leave the school and never come back. It was close enough to the end of the year, and I was an honor student, so they said they would send my diploma, but I wasn’t allowed to attend any graduation activities. And then they pushed me out of the office and out the door and that was that. And as I was leaving, I saw her, Cathy. She walked up and punched me so hard I fell. Then she spit on me and walked away.” Jake could feel the humiliation burning through Ryan’s body, and his heart broke all over again for him.
“No one asked me, Jake, not one of my friends. They all believed him, everyone did. And they treated me like garbage, and they harassed my family, and I left. I haven’t been home since.”
Chapter 12
Jake couldn’t bear the sadness in Ryan’s voice and face. There was something so wrong about such a caring and loving person being treated so horribly. It made him angry, and Ryan felt him tensing up and mistook it for something else. He started trying to edge away, the humiliation and heartbreak burning into his soul again, like it did before, when he had seen that look on Mike’s face. Only now it was worse, because he was pretty sure that he cared far more about Jake after twenty-four hours than he ever did about Mike.
Jake felt the shift and rolled himself on top of Ryan, pinning him to the mattress and looking in his eyes. He could see overwhelming fear and needed to calm it. He reached up and cupped Ryan’s cheek. “Hey, where you going?” Ryan was quietly sobbing, and each sob tore at Jake’s soul.
“I don’t know, I just, I don’t want to burden you with this. I mean, you don’t know me, and you don’t need this, and I should just go.” But his hands told a different story, clutching at Jake’s back like he was trying to find something to hang onto. Jake wanted to give it to him.
“You don’t need to go anywhere, Ryan.” He carded his fingers though Ryan’s silken strands, letting it calm Ryan. “You’re safe here, and wanted here, and believed here, and I don’t want you to go.” Ryan looked up at him, puzzled, but Jake could see the hope there too.
“Ryan, what happened to you was awful, but it’s not who you are. I’ve never met anyone like you. After all the hurt you have suffered, you opened yourself up to me and made me feel more special than I ever have in my life.” He could feel Ryan’s breathing calm down. He kept touching him, just letting his fingers wander over warm skin, brushing tears from that heartbreakingly beautiful face, down his neck, over his shoulder. It was working, and soon he felt like he could slide off of Ryan, so he wasn’t squishing him.
But Ryan held him close, not wanting him to go. He felt like Jake was keeping him grounded and safe, and it didn’t hurt to breathe so much. Jake just lifted himself to rest on one elbow, leg thrown over Ryan’s hip and his hand wandering over Ryan’s hard chest and stomach, making Ryan’s breath hitch for a different reason.
“How did I get so lucky? It was some twist of fate that brought me to your door, Jake Evans. But I am grateful it did. I’ve been feeling alone for a long time, like I needed to keep running, but I don’t want that anymore.” He kept touching Jake’s back and sides, just letting himself relax.
“Let’s have a bit of a rest, okay? Just an hour or so, then I gotta get the horses in, and we should eat something.” Jake was talking quietly, letting his voice soothe Ryan’s nerves. Ryan snuggled down and let his head rest over Jake’s heart, letting the sound of it lull him to sleep. He had both arms wrapped around Jake’s waist, not caring that one was probably going to be asleep by the time they woke up. Jake set the alarm on his watch before giving in to the warmth of Ryan’s body pulling him under.
Jake woke up and saw that his alarm was about to go off, so he turned it off and untangled himself from Ryan gently before kissing him on the forehead and quickly grabbing his clothes. He snuck out to get dressed in the hall and headed outside to call the horses in, making sure each one had what it needed before heading back into the house. The sun was low in the sky, and it was a beautiful evening. Jake went into the kitchen, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and reflected on his day while starting a simple supper for him and Ryan.
Jake thought about how Ryan had treated him that afternoon, like he was someone precious who needed to be cherished, and Jake realized he hadn’t felt like that before in his life. It was something he could get used to, though, and he was kind of awed at how much his life had changed in such a short time. Jake had known he was lonely, but he didn’t realize how much until Ryan kissed him for the first time. The thought made him smile, and that was how Ryan found him when he wandered into the kitchen.
Jake looked over and saw Ryan standing there in his jeans, barefoot, shirt thrown over his shoulders but not buttoned, with a shy smile on his face, like he was unsure of his welcome.
Jake put down the fork he was using and was across the room in three long strides, pulling Ryan up against him before leaning down to claim Ryan’s lips in a passionate kiss.
Ryan’s hands came up to hold onto Jake’s shoulders for support, because Jake’s kiss was leaving him literally weak in the knees. Jake pulled back a bit before resting his forehead on Ryan’s.
“Hi, did you sleep well?”
Ryan nodded before giving in to the urge to run his fingers up and down Jake’s strong arms, loving the feel of the muscles twitching under his touch. Ryan kissed Jake’s jaw, loving the feeling of the stubble under his lips.
“You should’ve woke me. I wanted to help with the horses.”
Jake smiled. “Don’t worry; there is plenty to keep you busy around here.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, causing Ryan to chuckle.
“You know, I came here to work, not to be your sex toy.”
Jake nuzzled down into Ryan’s neck, loving the warm, still-sleepy smell that lingered there. “God, you smell good.” His tongue darted out to lick Ryan’s neck, causing the smaller man to shudder. “Mmm, taste good too.” He hugged Ryan tighter for a minute before letting him go and turning back to the stove. “Supper’s almost done, and I’m starving.” Ryan started moving around, grabbing plates and silverware, setting the table, liking how it felt to just be around Jake, not having to talk, just being there.
They ate, talking about nothing and everything. Ryan told Jake stories about his family, the brothers and sisters he was missing, his folks who adored him. He had two grandmothers, who were so different yet so important to him. Jake just smiled, taking it all in, loving listening to the sound of his voice, watching the play of emotions over his face. He could tell that Ryan’s family meant so much to him, and the thought that he was missing out on them because of someone’s cruelty caused him to frown. Ryan saw it, and his words faltered.
“Jake, what’s the matter?”
Jake stood up and pulled Ryan into his arms. “Nothing, just a random thought.” He smiled to let Ryan know it was okay before pulling him into a spine-melting kiss. Ryan pressed harder against him, moaning deep in his chest. “You know, we never did get to finish what we started this afternoon, did we, Ryan?” Jake knew he needed to let Ryan know that he wanted this, that Ryan wasn’t pushing him. So he decided to push Ryan.
He started backing toward the stairs, wanting to take Ryan to his room, kissing his neck, licking his way across his jaw, unable to stop tasting him. He pulled him, stumbling, up the stairs, down the hall, and into his bedroom. God, he was so hot. Just touching Ryan made him so flustered and horny and hard. He started taking Ryan’s clothes off, starting with his shirt, so that he could touch that warm skin and hard muscle. His body was a little softer than Jake’s, but the muscles were toned from hard work, and he liked how they felt under his hands.
He pulled his own shirt off, eager to have bare skin next to his own, loving the feeling of Ryan’s nipples rubbing against his. Ryan was gasping for breath, trying to pull him closer and get his jeans off, all at the same time. Jake pushed Ryan back, watching as he landed on the bed, before reaching up to
quickly undo Ryan’s jeans and pull them off in one tug, catching his breath when he saw that Ryan was commando under them.
Ryan lay there before him, breathing hard, naked, beautiful, and Jake had never seen anything so gorgeous. He stretched out on Ryan, giving him an almost chaste kiss on his lips before trailing lower, sucking a nipple into his mouth, relishing the groan that came from that perfect mouth. He bit the nipple gently before licking it again, then trailed over to do the same to the other side.
Ryan’s hands came up to frame Jake’s face, pulling him back up. He kissed his way from Jake’s lips to his ear. “Please, Jake, make love to me?” He sounded so scared of the answer that Jake’s heart broke a little.
“I want to make you feel so good, Ryan. You have to help me, though, okay? I’m a little lost.” They were speaking in whispers. It just seemed right. Ryan smiled shyly, so different from the confident man who had rocked his world this afternoon but just as appealing. He wanted to take care of this man who had taken such good care of him. He kept kissing him and soon became aware that Ryan was trying to get his jeans undone. Jake chuckled at the fact that Ryan’s nakedness had made him forget about getting that way himself. He pulled back to his knees and slowly popped the button before sliding the zipper down, watching Ryan’s tongue reach out to lick his lips and knowing he did it without thinking.
Ryan sat up suddenly, grabbing Jake and turning them over so that he could get his jeans off now! Ryan was desperate to have a naked Jake over him, around him, in him. Once Jake was naked, Ryan rolled them back over so that Jake was on top of him, their erections rubbing together, sending sparks up both their spines.
“Jake, have you got your magic bag of supplies up here too?”
Jake smirked at him before reaching into the drawer of his nightstand. “Will a magic drawer work?” Seeing the surprise on Ryan’s face, he explained.
“I brought them up earlier, when you were sleeping. I wanted to make love to you here, in my bed. Is that okay?” He kissed Ryan’s nose.
“Not only is it okay, but I am so glad that one of us doesn’t have to run down and get them. I’m not sure either of us could walk that far.” Now it was Ryan’s turn to smirk.
Jake kissed it away, both of them back to breathless in less than a minute. Jake worked his mouth down Ryan’s body, licking and tasting, nibbling down his sides, stopping to dip a tongue into his bellybutton, listening to the gasps coming from above him. He nuzzled his way into the crease where thigh meets hip, intoxicated with the musky scent there. He licked his way up Ryan’s hard cock, feeling him grab at Jake’s hair and shoulders, anywhere he could reach, back arching and babbling nonsense that made Jake hotter, if possible. He kissed his way back up to that perfect mouth and begged.
“Please, Ryan, need to be in you.” He could feel Ryan nodding, almost beyond words in his lust. Jake grabbed the bottle of lube and drizzled some on his fingers, Ryan’s eyes on every move.
“Touch me, Jake, please, touch me.”
Jake reached down, slicking his hand down Ryan’s hardness once, making him whimper, before reaching back behind his balls to gently begin his explorations.
With one finger, he rubbed the soft skin he found before touching that tight muscle for the first time. His eyes never left Ryan’s as he carefully slipped one finger inside that velvet heat, and he was surprised that he was the one who moaned first. It was amazing, that tight feeling, and the thought of it squeezing his cock almost had him coming right there.
Then Ryan was pushing back against his finger, and the need in his eyes was almost Jake’s undoing. Soon another finger joined the first, and he curled them as he stroked in and out. He felt something against his fingertips, and the effect of that touch on Ryan was electrifying to watch. His eyes rolled back, and he almost bucked Jake right off the bed, so Jake did it again. The rough groan that came from those lips was the sexiest thing he had ever heard, and he wanted to hear it more.
He slid in the third finger, remembering to twist and stretch a little, making Ryan writhe under him.
“Jake, please, need you, now, Jake, please.” And he couldn’t say no, didn’t want to. He grabbed the condom, ripped it open with his teeth, and rolled it on himself before finally removing his fingers from Ryan’s willing body to slick up his cock.
“Ryan, you have to tell me if it hurts, don’t wanna hurt you.”
Ryan put his left leg up on Jake’s shoulder while wrapping the right around his waist, using it to pull him closer. “Just go slow, Jake, I trust you.”
Jake kissed him fiercely before lining himself up and slowly pushing past the first resistance of muscle.
Holy shit, how was he supposed to do this? It was so tight and hot, and for a moment, it felt like he was pushing against something solid. Then Ryan relaxed, and he could move a little. He waited there, looking for permission to go on in Ryan’s eyes. But Ryan was impatient and pulled Jake closer with his leg, pulling him inside until it was skin against skin, and Jake felt his brain short-circuiting.
“Please, Jake, move.” And he did, with slow, shallow strokes until he felt Ryan stretch a little. But it was still so tight and amazing, and for a moment, Jake was almost overwhelmed by the feeling. He balanced himself on one hand, hips thrusting harder, wanting Ryan to make that groan again, like when Jake’s fingers had been inside him. And Ryan was pulling Jake down to kiss him, and that changed the angle. Jake knew he had found what he was looking for when Ryan got that frantic look in his eyes, and he started slamming himself against Jake, and the short, harsh groans he made went straight to Jake’s cock.
Ryan’s hand found his own cock, but Jake slapped it away, wanting to make Ryan feel as good as he had felt earlier. And there was something about the way Ryan’s cock felt in his hand: hot, hard, and soft at the same time.
“Harder, nngg, faster.” Ryan was begging again, so he did move faster. Soon he felt Ryan’s body tighten, and then ribbons of come were on his chest and stomach and hand, and Ryan tightened almost painfully around his cock, and that was it. Jake was coming harder than he ever had in his life. He finally collapsed, wrapping himself around Ryan, trying to catch his breath. He pulled out slowly, trying to take such care with this man—his man, he hoped. He got rid of the condom and pulled Ryan to him, feeling the smaller man snuggle into him.
“You okay, Ryan? Did I hurt you?” He was worried, even though Ryan wasn’t showing any signs of pain. Ryan just draped himself over Jake like a blanket.
“You could never hurt me, Jake.” Ryan’s body was tired, but his heart was so happy. It felt lighter than it had in two years. “’M going to sleep now, okay?”
Jake grinned and rubbed his hand soothingly down Ryan’s back. “Okay.”
Jake lifted the blanket from the bottom of the bed with his foot and covered them both. They drifted off, holding each other, content for the first time in their lives. Jake couldn’t wait till morning.
Chapter 13
Ryan woke up to the sound of the alarm, feeling warm, safe, and happy. This was not how he was expecting to feel anytime soon, when he left his old job, four days ago. He was lying with his head still on Jake’s chest, amazed that he had slept through the night that way. He was usually a very active sleeper, moving all over the place.
He looked up to see crystal-blue eyes smiling down at him. “Mornin’.” That drawl was something Ryan could listen to for a long time.
“Good morning. Guess we need to get up, huh?”
Jake nodded, somewhat reluctantly. “Yeah, those horses aren’t gonna take care of themselves. And I need to run into town today. Grab a few things from the feed store and stop at the vet’s, because I want some vitamins for the pregnant mares. Plus, I gotta pay my bill.”
The whole time he was talking, he was running his hands up and down Ryan’s back, and it made Ryan smile because he was sure Jake didn’t realize he was doing it.
“I’ll come with you. Need to go to the store to get the stuff to make the poultice for Be
lla’s sores, anyhow.” He reached up to gently kiss Jake before starting to get up. He was almost standing when he was pulled back against a hard chest.
“That’s all I get this morning? That kiss is the best you can do? Sigh, the bloom is off the rose already!” Jake threw his arm up over his eyes in a dramatic pose.
“Better, huh?” Ryan cocked his head to one side before reaching up to take Jake’s face in both his hands, moving in for a toe-curling kiss. He started slow, just running his tongue across Jake’s bottom lip before sliding his tongue into Jake’s mouth, and morning breath be damned. When he pulled back, those blue eyes were two shades darker, and Jake was looking extremely happy.
“That do it for you, cowboy?”
Jake just grinned and tried not to let Ryan see how much the kiss affected him.
Ryan got up again, this time managing to get all the way off the bed, and sauntered naked and uncaring to the bathroom while Jake just watched him go for a second. Then he got up and started getting ready for his day.
Ryan decided that he loved coffee makers with timers, because the coffee was ready when they got downstairs. They both got their caffeine fix before grabbing a muffin each and heading out to the barn. The horses obviously knew the routine, and they were eager to get out. Ryan checked on Bella, making mental notes of things he thought would help her sores, before leading her to the corral. Despite the treatment she had suffered at the hands of man, she was an affectionate little thing, rubbing her head on Ryan’s back as he led her out.
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