Cowboy Way

by Cindy Sutherland

  Jake looked at the leg bouncing almost off the floor of the truck and the hands rubbing over his thighs and smirked. “No kidding.”

  Ryan looked at him and smacked him playfully on the arm. “Ass.”

  Galesburg was coming into view. Jake thought it was a nice-looking town. He hoped it would be better to Ryan, this time. They continued through town and headed out into the countryside. Ryan gave him directions, and soon they were parking in a beautiful farmyard that actually reminded him of home, only with a bigger house.

  It was two days before Thanksgiving, and the rest of the family hadn’t arrived yet. Ryan got out of the truck, and he looked so happy and so lost, at the same time. Jake came around to his side of the truck and took him in his arms. Ryan clung to him for a minute, tucking his head under Jake’s chin before pulling back and taking his hand. Ryan had started toward the house when the door opened and a little girl of about nine came out.

  She stopped, and Ryan stopped, and they looked at each other for an infinite second before the little girl took off at a dead run, right for Ryan.

  “Ryan!” It was a wail of joy, and when she reached Ryan, he picked her up and swung her around before wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

  “Nat, oh God, Nat, I missed you so much.” He was crying and she was crying, and Jake just stood there, heart swelling, and watched.

  The cry brought other people to the door of the house. Jake saw Ryan’s parents first, and his mom gave a cry when she saw him. The next thing he knew, he was surrounded by Andrewses. Most of them were crying, although Ryan’s dad was trying to keep it together. Ryan’s grandmother was there, grinning like a fool, with tears running down her cheeks, and a girl who looked like the first, only older, was hugging the stuffing out of Ryan.

  Jake could only smile. Jim shook his hand, Beth and Ida hugged him, and the girls smiled shyly at him. He felt Ryan’s hand slip back into his, and he looked at him and knew that this was the right thing.

  He felt a tug on the hem of his shirt, and he looked down to see a small boy of about four looking up at him with Ryan’s eyes. He squatted down. “Hello, Matt.”

  The little boy’s eyes widened. “You knows my name?”

  “Of course I know your name, Matt. Your big brother talks about you all the time!”

  “He does?”

  Jake nodded, absolutely charmed by the smallest Andrews.

  Those big eyes turned to look at his brother, full of love and pride. Then he threw himself at Ryan and grabbed his leg, in a hug only a little brother could give. Ryan’s hand came down to rest on his head for a second, and he looked down at Jake with gratitude.

  Matt turned back to look at the tall man who was still kneeling beside him. He kept one arm wrapped around Ryan’s leg, like he was worried if he didn’t hang on, he would disappear again.

  “You’re Jake.”

  Jake nodded and smiled. “Hey, you know my name.”

  Matt grinned shyly. “Ryan told me, I talked to him on the phone!” He puffed out his chest, obviously feeling important. Jake stuck out his hand, and after a moment, Matt shook it.

  “Good to meet you, Matt.”

  Jake stood up, and Ryan took his hand again. They all made their way into the house and found that Ida had snuck in before them and was setting out enough food to feed an army. They all sat at the table, Ryan on one side of Jake, and Matt insisting on sitting on the other side. Jake didn’t say much, just watched Ryan with his family, answered any questions that came his way, and enjoyed the warmth of it all.

  Ryan’s hand was on his thigh, and his arm was around Ryan’s back, and it felt so right. He could see that Ryan was getting tired. It had been a long couple of days on the road, and the stress made it that much worse. He was getting tired too. He kissed Ryan on the temple and stood up.

  “I’m going out to the truck to get the bags. I’ll be right back.” Ryan made as if to stand up and help, but Jim stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

  “Stay with your mother, son. I’ll go help Jake.” Ryan smiled at his father and kissed Jake’s hand before letting him go.

  Jake and Jim slipped their jackets on and went out into the chilly November air together. They walked to the truck, and Jake opened the back door, reaching in for their suitcases. He had insisted on each of them packing their own, saying it was easier to carry that way. But in reality, he wasn’t sure where he would be sleeping tonight, and he didn’t want to look like he was assuming anything. Sleeping away from Ryan wouldn’t be his first choice, but he would go along with whatever happened.

  He heard Jim’s soft voice behind him. He turned to look at him.

  “Jake, I just want to say thank you. Having Ryan home for Thanksgiving means so much to all of us, and I know that you’re the reason he’s here. And that’s not the only reason we have to thank you, is it?”

  Jake ducked his head shyly and shrugged his shoulders.

  “Jake, I talked to the sheriff when I was there. She told me what you did. Without you, my boy might not be here at all.”

  Jake blushed. He didn’t know what to say, but he closed his eyes and found himself blurting out his deepest, darkest, most guilty feeling.

  “Without me, Ryan wouldn’t have been there in the first place.” Whenever he thought of that night, he remembered the feeling of dread he had on the way out to that stupid horse. He should never have let Ryan come.

  He was startled by Jim’s laughter. “Oh, Jake, do you honestly think that you could have stopped him from going with you? Haven’t you figured out yet that Ryan dives headfirst into everything he does? He doesn’t need help finding trouble, it finds him! But you were there this time, to help him get out of it. That’s what counts.”

  Jake looked at Ryan’s father, saw that he was telling the truth, and felt a little of the guilt leave him.

  “I love him, you know.” He said it quietly, but Jim heard him, anyway.

  “I know you do, son. I can see it shining out of you, every time you look at him. He loves you too, you know. He’s reminding me so much of his mom right now. Neither of them do anything with half a heart.” He stood there, remembering for a second, before grabbing one of the bags.

  “Come on, we had better get back in there before they send out a search party.”

  They walked back into the kitchen, and Jim asked the obvious question.

  “Where are we putting these, Mama?”

  “In Ryan’s old room, of course, where else?”

  Jim just looked at her and raised an eyebrow, but Ryan was more expressive.

  “Really, Gramma?”

  She walked over and pinched his cheek and smiled. “I have my rules, Ryan, but you and Jake live together, and if I made you wait until you got married to sleep together under my roof, well, Lord knows when that would happen. Those morons in the governor’s mansion are being mighty pokey about doing what’s right.”

  She turned to the rest of them. “Come on now, let’s get this all cleaned up. It’s almost this old girl’s bedtime. Quit your gawking!”

  Everyone got up from the table and started tidying up. Jake followed Jim up the stairs and was led down the hall to Ryan’s bedroom. He couldn’t help but smile when he walked in and saw that apparently not a lot had been changed in here since Ryan was a teenager.

  He put the suitcase on the bed while Jim put his on the floor. Jake walked around, looking at all the stuff that had been important to teenaged Ryan Andrews.

  Jim watched him for a second before smiling at him and leaving him alone. Jake walked around, touching trophies for basketball, ribbons for horse competitions, models and cars on the shelves, favorite books that stayed behind out of the need to travel light. There was some pictures of Ryan tacked to a corkboard on the wall. Ryan on one side of a pretty brunette and a smiling blond boy with a giant grin on the other side of her. Ryan and a smart-looking, dark-skinned girl, both of them hugging each other tightly. He reached up to touch a finger to Ryan’s face.
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  “That’s my cousin Jade. She lives in LA now. When she heard what happened, she threatened to come out and kick Mike’s ass all the way to the old Barry place and back. God, I can’t wait to see her.”

  He walked over and looked down at the bed, smiling. “I wonder when she changed the bed in here?”

  He looked at Jake and saw his confusion. He started chuckling, not sure how his boyfriend was gonna take this.

  “I used to have a twin bed in here.” Jake looked down at the queen-sized bed with dawning realization. Oh God, he was so embarrassed.

  Ryan walked over and grabbed his belt loops, pulling him close, and kissed him hard. “Don’t think about it too much, babe. It’ll fry your brain.” He kissed him again. “Wanna help me out in the barn for a few minutes? I told Dad I would check on things.”

  “My pleasure.” And he was almost certain it would be.

  Chapter 22

  Jake woke up in the dark, feeling a tickle over his thigh. He looked over at the clock. It read, 4:06.

  “Ryan, why are you awake at four in the morning?” He mumbled it into his pillow, his drawl more pronounced because he was still sleepy.

  “Because something was poking me.” He could hear the smile in Ryan’s voice. He and Ryan were spooned together, his front to Ryan’s back, and it only took a little push back from Ryan’s ass to help him figure out what had been poking his boyfriend.

  “Hmmm, sorry, babe. Guess I want you even in my sleep.” He pulled Ryan closer with the arm around his waist and nuzzled his face into Ryan’s neck.

  “Go back to sleep. I’m still tired.” He wasn’t really all that tired, but there was no way he was having sex with Ryan while his whole family slept around them. He was loud enough, but Ryan was a whole other level of noisy when he was enjoying himself. Or Jake.

  Ryan had other ideas, though. He reached up, took the hand that was around his waist, and moved it down to his dick, so that Jake could feel what all that poking had been doing to him. He knew Jake couldn’t help the groan that escaped his throat at the touch.

  Jake kissed the back of his neck again and turned over. “Ryan, I love you, but I am not going to have sex with you with your parents and the kids down the hall, forget it.” It only took a few seconds for him to realize that turning his back to his boyfriend had not been a good idea. Ryan scooted up behind him and pressed himself against his back, grinding his hard-on into Jake’s ass.

  “Come on, Jake, how am I supposed to go back to sleep like this. I’ll be quiet, promise!” He leaned in and nuzzled into Jake’s neck, licking and biting at all the sensitive spots he knew would make him crazy.

  Jake snorted. “Yeah right, like you can be quiet.” He reached back and rubbed his hand over the bulge in Ryan’s sleep pants, eliciting a throaty growl. “I don’t think so.”

  Ryan got a gleam in his eye. He couldn’t be quiet? He was pretty sure that Jake had no idea of all the noises he made when Ryan was fucking his brains out. Now he had a point to prove.

  He snaked his hand around Jake’s waist, sliding up to rub his impatient fingers over the hard nubs of Jake’s nipples, causing his boyfriend to suck in his breath and whisper, “God,” into the dark. Ryan’s hand traced down, across Jake’s abs, tickling his bellybutton before trailing lower, quickly sneaking the hand under his sleep pants. When he wrapped his hand around Jake’s aching cock, he knew he was winning. But Jake wasn’t giving in yet. After a couple of strokes, he pulled Ryan’s hand away, kissing his knuckles and saying, “No,” before turning away again.

  Ryan brought his hand to his mouth, silently coating his fingers with saliva before sliding his hand between them, this time sliding them down the crack of Jake’s perfect ass, circling his entrance, while sucking a bruise into the soft skin of his shoulder.

  Jake moaned quietly and was reaching around to push the torturous hand away when Ryan slid one finger in, quickly finding the brunet’s prostate, causing him to moan Ryan’s name. He added another finger, stretching Jake carefully, all the while keeping up the gentle touches to that bundle of nerves, and it was making Jake not care who was around, as long as Ryan didn’t stop touching him, like, ever.

  Ryan pulled his fingers out, quickly grabbed the condoms and lube from the drawer in the nightstand, and prepared himself. Then he slicked some lube onto his fingers and slid them back into Jake, the feeling of him clenching around his fingers almost his undoing.

  When Jake was ready, Ryan got as close as he could, until they were touching from shoulder to groin, and he lifted Jake’s leg and slowly pushed inside.

  Jake was in heaven. This new angle hit different spots inside him, and he was stuffing his fist into his mouth to try and stop the noises that wanted to pour out of his mouth. Ryan’s hand was on the back of his thigh, holding his leg up, and the other was under his head, elbow bent, so that he could pet Jake’s hair.

  Jake reached his hand down and used it to grab his own leg, pulling himself open further and leaving Ryan’s hand free to reach down and grab Jake’s dick. He had no idea that, when Ryan did that, he started making whimpering noises, turning his head back for a messy kiss from his amazing blond boyfriend.

  “Please, Ryan, God, please, I need, fuck, I need to come!”

  “Shhh, baby, I gotcha. Gonna make you feel so good.” He pushed his hips in small thrusts, keeping in almost constant contact with Jake’s prostate, sending sparks up his spine and causing white spots behind his eyes with every movement. Ryan stroked him gently, slowly at first, before firming up his grip, twisting a little on each upstroke, whispering dirty endearments in his ear, telling him how good he felt, wrapped around his cock.

  Jake was almost there, he just needed something, he knew he needed something. “Ryan, oh, need, God, need….”

  Ryan bit down into the back of Jake shoulder, and Jake buried his face into his pillow as he came, crying Ryan’s name, that one small, rational part of his brain knowing he needed to be quiet.

  Jake’s release, hot on his hand, and the muscles clenching around his cock, pushed Ryan over the edge, clutching Jake to him desperately, muffling his moans in Jake’s back.

  They stayed like that for a while, both coming down, breathing starting to return to normal. Finally Ryan pulled out gently, disposing of the condom, and Jake turned to face him, running loving hands over a beautiful face.

  “Ryan, I love you so much.” Ryan started to smile, but Jake wasn’t finished. “But if anyone heard us, I am gonna kill you.”

  “Jake, baby, you were the one making all the noise.”

  Jake’s mouth opened to argue, then closed when he realized it was true. He was pretty sure he could happily die of embarrassment, right then.

  “Don’t worry. Everyone around here sleeps like the dead.” He lay there, running his fingers through Jake’s hair, so happy to have him there, but thinking about the coming day. It had been a long time since he had seen anyone from his hometown but his immediate family. He was worried. He was sure there were some of his own relatives who had wondered if the rumors were true.

  Jake could feel the tension returning to Ryan’s body. He slid up so they were eye to eye. “Tell me.” It wasn’t a demand, just a request, so Ryan tried to answer.

  “I’m just… scared. I mean, it’s been so long, and what if they believe Mike? And you? You’re so amazing, and I don’t want you to have to deal with my garbage….” He trailed off, not sure how to express the fears he was having. While he was talking, he had wrapped his arms around himself without realizing it. Jake pulled them away and wrapped them around his own waist, pulling Ryan in closer, curling himself protectively around him. He tucked Ryan’s head under his chin, kissing the top of his head.

  “Ryan, I already told you, it doesn’t matter. What they say or what they think. I know you. I know that you are incapable of hurting anyone, and if someone doesn’t know that about you, that’s their loss. And I will be right here, beside you, and I won’t leave you alone for one minute, okay?”


  Ryan snuggled in closer. “You promise?” He knew he sounded like a little kid, but he couldn’t help it.

  Jake smiled at the hope in Ryan’s voice. “Cross my heart.”

  He heard Ryan chuckle before muttering, “Jackass,” against his chest.

  Jake rubbed his hand up and down Ryan’s back. “Go back to sleep for a couple of hours. We’re gonna need it if we’re going to keep up with Matt and the girls today.”

  Ryan nodded, took a deep breath, and Jake could feel him relaxing against him. They both drifted off, comforted by the feeling of being pressed up against each other.

  When Ryan woke to the sounds of footsteps and giggling in the hall, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Jake, looking down at him. He was still awed by the love he saw shining there, every day. He reached up and placed a kiss on Jake’s jaw before turning to rub his cheek against the roughness of Jake’s stubble.

  “Mmmm, morning.” He stretched, not quite aware of the temptation he was giving Jake, who was enjoying the sight of his messy hair and the feel of his sleep-warmed skin.

  “Mornin’ yourself. Feeling better?” He couldn’t help but let his hand wander over Ryan’s back, loving the way the muscles moved under the skin.

  “Hmm, yeah, I think so. I’m still worried, but I’ll be fine.” He nuzzled his face into Jake’s neck, fully intending to go back to sleep.

  “Uh-uh, babe, no way. We both need a shower, and you promised your dad some help in the barn this morning. Good thing you are never this lazy at home.”

  “I guess there’s just something about being home that makes me feel like a kid again.” He reluctantly pulled himself off his boyfriend and stood up, stretching again and making Jake’s mouth water at the sight of all that naked skin. “Come on, let’s go shower.”

  Jake looked at him in disbelief before chuckling. “No way, sunshine. I am not walking into that bathroom down the hall with you. Bad enough that you took advantage of my complete and utter love for you so that we could have middle-of-the-night sex in your parents’ house.”