Bad Boy: You Are Not Alone

by Kelli Walker

  I hesitated before I answered her because I honestly didn’t know how to respond. Had you asked me this in college, I would’ve prided myself in saying ‘no.’ In college, I thought that made my strong. Independent. A force to be reckoned with.

  Today, the answer was still ‘no’, but I wasn’t as proud of that answer any longer.

  “So, what is it you don’t talk to Kevin about?” she asked.

  “There was just… an encounter at the party that has me confused,” I said.

  “Yeah. You guys were hanging out at the bar watching Brady be an idiot and then the next thing I knew, you guys were gone. What happened?” she asked.

  “Well, you know how that back hallway was lined with all those nasty sex rooms?”

  “Oh, my god. He took you into one!?” Maddie exclaimed. “Tell me everything.”

  “Oh, I refused to get on that damn bed. Disgusting. But, he pulled something called a ‘St. Andrews Cross’ out of the closet and harnessed me to it.”

  Maddie’s jaw dropped to the floor and it took her a while to scrape it up. She squealed and clapped her hands, and I had absolutely no idea why she was so ecstatic.

  “Okay. Wow, I didn’t-... Kevin!? Okay. What did he do next?” she asked.

  “It was weird. He just… ate me out. That was all. But, there was this… I don’t know. I don’t know how to describe it.”

  “Just try,” she said.

  “It felt different. I was trying to move, and I couldn’t. He had this dark look in his eye I’d never seen before. Being restrained like that was… invigorating, I guess. I’d never trust anyone other than Kev to put me in that kind of situation, and when I came and he let me off, I felt this rush of emotion I didn’t understand.”

  “Uh huh,” Maddie said, smiling.

  “And he just… held me. He grabbed me a bottle of water from a fridge I didn’t even know was there, and I was so shaky he had to help me drink it. Like, hold the fucking bottle and everything.”

  “Oh. My. God. He took care of you! Go, Kev!”

  “Maddie. What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.

  “Are you really that clueless?” she asked.

  “I guess so, because I don’t understand why you’re so excited.”

  “Ever heard of BDSM?” she asked.

  “Like whips and canes and shit?” I asked.

  “Yes. Well, technically. Once you’re more into it and have experimented with it for a while. Anyway, there are people who just do that stuff in the bedroom, right? Like Spence and I.”

  “Whoa whoa whoa… he uses whips on you in the bedroom?” I asked.

  “Not to that extreme, but he ties me down and blindfolds me and spanks me with paddles and stuff. It’s awesome. Anyway, back to you. There are some people, however, that live it as a lifestyle.”

  “What? They just… go around whipping people?” I asked.

  “No. It’s… hard to explain. There’s a dominant party and a submissive party, and the dynamic is based all on trust. It’s an entirely different relationship that is cultivated based on how the two interact daily and how the interact in the bedroom.”

  “So, what does this have to do with Kev?” I asked.

  “Well, let me address something first,” she said. “The emotional reaction you experienced is called a ‘sub drop’. It just means you experienced such a high being his submissive that your endorphins rushed your brain afterwards and threw you for a loop, so to speak.”

  “I wasn’t submissive to anyone,” I said.

  “Oh, spoken like a true closet submissive.”

  “The hell does that mean!?”

  “‘Submissive’ doesn’t mean you let someone control you. It means you willingly give your body over to them and trust them with your well being and your pleasure. For a submissive, out of all the things you could ever choose to do, you choose to kneel at your dominant’s feet.”

  “Sounds like a load of oppressive shit to me,” I said.

  “Look. There’s loads of reading material on it. Given how easily it sounds like Kevin switched into that dominant role and then easily slipped into taking care of you-- I assumed it worked, right?”

  “What worked?” I asked.

  “Him taking care of you. Did you stop shaking and wanting to cry?”

  “How did you know I wanted to cry?” I asked.

  “Classic sub drop signs. Did he calm you down?”

  “I guess…”

  “Alright. I’m gonna shoot you a few links later to read. Read them with an open mind and take the feminist glasses off for a second. It’s not about submitting your will to someone, so get that out of your head.”

  “Why would I wanna read up on this?” I asked.

  “Because you’re continuously sleeping with a man and interacting with a man who has this side of him. At the very least, shouldn’t you understand it?”

  She made a valid point, though I was still uneasy saying that I somehow submissed myself to him that night. I just let him tie me to something before he ate me out. It’s not like he shoved his dick down my throat or anything.

  But, before I could ask Maddie anymore questions, my emergency phone line began to blare out into the office.

  “Great,” I said.

  “I wonder if he got caught taking tequila shots out of some hooker’s asshole,” Maddie said with a smirk.

  “God, if only. That would make our day so much better, right?” I asked.

  “Go ahead and get it answered and I’ll grab our stuff. We’ll probably have to go somewhere and clean up something real quick.”

  “Let’s just hope it’s not a dead body. I’m not paid enough for that,” I said.

  I picked up the phone and calmed down the hurried individual on the other end while Maddie slipped me my purse. I told them to meet me at a coffee shop a few blocks up from my office and told them to ask for ‘Mark’. No one there was actually named Mark, but I made yearly donations to keep the place open and in exchange they let me outfit their loft to have private, off the book meetings.

  ‘Mark’ was the codeword for someone who needed to be let up there with me.

  “Ready to go see Mark?” Maddie asked.

  “Just a second,” I said. I dug my phone out of my purse and opened up a new text message to Kevin. I shot him a message before I put it back in my purse, and when I looked up Maddie was smirking at me.

  “Uh huh. I see what you’re doing,” she said.

  “What!? I didn’t do anything!”

  “Come on, working girl. We gotta go,” she said.

  “I only shot him a text message asking him if he lived some sort of alternative lifestyle. I didn’t specify what and I didn’t ask why.”

  “Girl, that’s an in person talk,” Maddie said.

  And just like that, my phone vibrated with a message from Kevin.

  If you want to talk about it, it’ll happen face to face. Care to set up a time?

  “What did he say?” Maddie asked as she pressed the elevator button.

  “To set up a time to meet face to face.”

  “God, when I’m good. I’m good,” she said with a sigh.

  Chapter 17

  Kevin

  No matter what I did, I couldn’t get that night out of my head. Tina looked so good strapped to that cross, and having to update the BDSM web page I serviced myself wasn’t doing me any favors. The owner of the shop had branched out with some newer, more expensive items, and the only thing I could think while setting up this damn store was how wonderful Tina would look in all this shit.

  The way she’s writhed against those leather cuffs while she was bound to that cross almost made me burst right there in my pants, and it made me wonder if she’d enjoyed it just as much as I did.

  I assumed it would probably catch her off guard because I didn’t discover this part of myself until after college. I hadn’t formally dated anyone since her, but I’d screwed around a little, and a busty brunette with thick thighs opened my
eyes to the world of dom-sub relationships. She was what someone called a ‘switch’-- as in, she didn’t mind playing both roles. She was a complete dom when she was teaching me things she enjoyed, but fully gave herself over to me whenever I’d get her in bed.

  She was a fiery little minx, and after I’d worked her out of my system I simply couldn’t stop. I went to shows and found myself in a sex party every once in awhile. I had to make sure discretion was one of their highest priorities because of my prominence in the technological development world, but it allowed me to flex my dominant side with true submissives who were sensitive to the fact that I was learning.

  And then, I started doing the teaching. I started spotting nerves women in the corners whose eyes were wide as a doe’s. I’d get them a drink and they’d rattle off questions, and little by little they’d open up to me about their biggest fantasies. Wanting to be dominated or tied up, blindfolded and deprived of their senses. It was pretty typical stuff a cooped up woman would dream about, but I really got my rocks off by teaching them.

  Every once in awhile I’d partner up at a party with a sub who knew what she wanted, and that’s when I really got to explore. I found my hard lines with women like them, and then I took those lines and molded many beginning subs into perfect partners for their men.

  “This fucking website,” I said with a groan. Running my hands through my hair, I pushed away from my desk and closed my eyes. I just needed a few minutes to calm my mind from the sheer pleasure that had etched itself into my brain when I’d looked up at Tina and saw her eyes screwed shut. She enjoyed every fucking second of it, and my dick twitched in my pants at the mere thought of it.

  And then, just as I was going to return to work, my phone buzzed.

  Hey. It’s me. Question: is there a certain lifestyle you live?

  I smirked at her question and went to go respond. If she was this curious this early in the game, then she must’ve been talking to Maddie. That girl of Spencer’s knew everything there was to know about the world of sex, and part of me was jealous at the romps he was having with her. Don’t get me wrong, I loved sinking myself into Tina, but there was a part of me that was unfulfilled with her, and I’d tried it out on her at that party.

  And the sheer volume of her orgasm gave me hope of one day fulfilling that side of me with her.

  If you want to talk about it, it’ll happen face to face. Care to set up a time?

  This was definitely not a conversation you had over the phone, and it was one that usually took a couple of hours. Once someone got rolling with questions it was better to handle them as they came rather than trying to break the conversation up over the span of days. If she really wanted to know-- if she was that curious-- then she needed to set the time aside to come see me.

  I waited a few minutes and didn’t hear from her, so I went back to working on the website. I was entering in pictures and prices for this store while trying to keep my cock at bay, and I was relieved when my phone buzzed by my hand. I was really going to have to take breaks during this quest to get this website done, and Tina was the best distraction I could think of to take a breath with.

  I’m free a couple of weeks from now. What does that look like for you?

  “Grace.”

  “Yes, Kevin.”

  “Clear my entire week starting on the 1st. I’ll have company,” I said.

  “The entire week, sir?” she asked.

  “Yes, please. And get my pilot on the phone. I’ll have to set up plans for him to go get Tina.”

  “Oh! Tell her I said hello,” Grace said.

  “I definitely will.”

  Grace had been my secretary for a little over six years now, and I didn’t know what I'd do without her. She fielded professional calls like it was her own cell phone and somehow managed to keep my schedule completely intact without overloading it. I got to all my meetings, she always had hot coffee waiting for me after lunch, and I rarely had an early morning or a late night because of how she scheduled things.

  I seriously didn’t pay her enough.

  I turned back to the website and suddenly Tina filled my thoughts again. I’d been searching for a full time submissive partner for a little under a decade. The experimentation while I was figuring things out was nice, but having a partner that I could trust-- who would live the lifestyle with me instead of just kinking up the bedroom-- that was what I really wanted. I wanted a woman that, out of all the things she could do, she chose to give her body, heart, and mind over to the decisions I made.

  I wanted to set out dresses for her to dress into. I wanted to give her a time to be picked up for mystery dates. I wanted her to never have to worry about where we were going to eat, what vacations we were going to take, or where we were going to fly out for our next adventure. I wanted a woman that didn’t just suck down my cock in the bedroom but also filled my heart during the day. I wanted to take her to a restaurant and know her so fully and so completely that I could order off the menu for her and get it perfect.

  And I wanted her to appreciate the worry-less life I wanted to provide for her.

  But, cultivating that type of relationship took time. Time you couldn’t get at these parties with these temporary hook ups and beginners who were just looking to learn and stick their toes in. I wanted someone who would curl into me and trust me with her decisions while pushing boundaries with me in the bedroom. I wanted to hold her close and run my fingers through her hair while her body trembled and her eyes watered from her sub drop.

  I wanted all these things, and there was a massive part of me that wanted all those with Tina.

  I was nervous about talking with her. I didn’t wanna scare her off after all the hard work we’d put into trying to make this work. I’d finally gotten her to a point where she was comfortable seeing me regularly, even if we still hadn’t defined what we were really doing. I was lucky to have my college sweetheart back in my life, especially now that she had abandoned her days of drinking and had really started to dig deep into why she operated the way she did.

  Many people called her an ice queen in her field of work, but I knew better. I knew the fiery, passionate, foul-mouthed woman that existed underneath that emotionally-removed exterior, and I wanted to make her mine.

  I wanted to do all of that again with her and so much more. I wanted to open her eyes to a world she hadn’t even realized she’d partially accepted that night. I wanted to hold her through her stronger-than-normal sub drops just so I could get a glimpse of the emotional woman she kept pushed down inside. I wanted to explore this lifestyle with her not to change her, but to help her cope with the woman she was blossoming into while helping her navigate the confusing way she was raised.

  But, I was ripped from my thoughts once again when my phone vibrated on the desk.

  Change of plans. Looks like I’ll be on your side of the world for work in a few hours.

  A few hours? Well, that really sped things up.

  Is everything alright? Do you have a place to stay?, I asked.

  Not as of yet. I’m leaving Maddie behind at the office for this one because I don’t wanna haul the mounds of paperwork we still have.

  Well, you’re more than welcome to stay with me, I messaged.

  I think I’d like that.

  Then, I’ll prepare your room for you, I said.

  I land in six hours. See you then?

  I’ll be ready and waiting. Can’t wait to see you.

  “Grace,” I said into the intercom.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “If you haven’t already cleared my week, don’t worry about it,” I said.

  “Quick fix, sir. You didn’t have much going on except a couple possible client meetings,” she said.

  “Let them know I’m sorry for the constant toggling and send them a couple of nice baskets for their trouble.”

  “On it. Still wanna talk to your pilot?” she asked.

  “Nope. Won’t be necessary. Do I have anything else scheduled for tod
ay?”

  “No, sir. Your last meeting was the one this morning,” she said.

  “Perfect. Then I’m heading out for the weekend. Call me if something pops up.”

  “Will do, sir. Have a great weekend.”

  “I most certainly will. You, too,” I said.

  I grabbed my coat and laptop before I shoved it into my carrying case. I was anxious to get home and make up Tina’s room for her because I never wanted to assume she’d be sleeping with me. Tina hated that kind of stuff-- men assuming they knew what she wanted-- but I was hoping to open her eyes to why I’d like to do that stuff for her. It wasn’t because I was pompous or controlling or wanted her to bow to me.

  It was because I cared about her emotional and mental well being, and I had this urge-- this… this need-- to fully take care of someone. To come home a woman who didn’t mind leaning into me and letting me make all the decisions. I wanted to take the reins from her not because I thought I could do it better, but because I sometimes saw a glimmer of hopelessness in her eye that called to me.

  Like she wanted to just throw everything down and give up, but knew no one would pick up the slack if she did.

  I wanted her to know I would. I’d pick up that slack and catch her when she wanted to fall through the doors at the end of her day. I’d figure out what was happening for dinner and what we were doing on our next adventure so she didn’t have to worry about doing it herself.

  I wanted to give her those things, and all of that was a part of this lifestyle.

  All I hoped was that I could convince her of it.

  Chapter 18

  Kevin

  I wasn’t done fixing up her room by the time her airplane was due to land, so I sent my driver to pick her up and bring her to the house. I kept looking out the window to see whenever they’d pull up and I knew I needed to hurry because the airport wasn’t too far from my home. I put the finishing touches on her bathroom essentials before I made up her bed and when the sound of rolling tires his my ears I went rushing down the stairs.

  I got down the stairs just as Tina ripped the door open and the moment her eyes connected with mine I watched a relief flood over her body. She ran to me with her heels clacking along the floor and threw her arms around my neck, and when she sank into my body the only thing I could think was that this was what I wanted from her.