Compulsion: Magnetic Desires

by Misti Murphy

  Adding Coke to her glass and mine, I contemplated how to pull answers from her when she was being so tight-lipped. "So, are you going to tell me what he was doing here?"

  "I told you we were talking." She took another long sip of her drink.

  I put mine down on the bench, leaning against the marble counter top, and exhaled. "What about?"

  She fluttered her hand in front of her chest and moved to the other side of the counter. "Nothing really. Old times. That kind of thing."

  "That kind of thing?" The notion that this situation was slipping through my fingers made my gut clench. "Talk to me, Clo."

  Her cheeks hollowed and she blew out an audible breath, which made her bangs shift. "Fine. We talked about how we used to be, back before he..." she couldn’t stop the cringe that wrinkled her nose and the corners of her eyes, "... anyway, he apologized for the way it ended."

  "Did he now?" I hadn’t meant for my voice to carry the chill I was fighting to hide from her.

  "Yes." She pushed her glass toward me.

  Glancing at it, I decided to ignore her plea for more alcohol. The situation was too raw, too important for false courage. "You believe him?"

  "I don't know." She sank onto a stool and scratched at some invisible mark on the counter. "Sometimes I miss him."

  My hand tightened around the glass, her admission cutting deep. I didn’t want to ask my next question. Didn’t want to know the answer. My pulse slowed, beating loudly in my ears as I pushed my heavy tongue to form the question. "Zack said something about good news?

  A tear in the cuticle of one finger caught her attention, and she put it to her mouth. "It’s nothing really."

  I wasn’t so certain. "What’s nothing, Clo?"

  Her gaze darted to mine, and I realized I’d sounded harsher than I meant to, but the vise-like grip of some invisible hand squeezing my heart was making it hard to keep calm.

  "We're going to go out for dinner." She spoke slowly, quietly as though she’d only just made this decision.

  "Out? Like a date?" Were we even having this conversation? We couldn’t be. She wouldn’t let him in like that. She wouldn’t push me away like that, would she?

  "No. Yes. I guess so." Now her gaze stayed on me, no longer avoiding locking with mine. I took a step back under the weight of her seriousness.

  "You're kidding, right?" All she had to do was grin, or even giggle, and I’d know she was joking. One simple gesture and the weight on my chest would lift.

  "No."

  "But..." I moved to her side, spun the stool so she was facing me. "He destroyed you, Clo. He broke your heart, and your trust. I picked up the goddamn pieces. Seeing you like that, after he cheated on you, it almost broke me. I love you. I’ve offered you everything. I don’t understand..." Shaking my head, I ran a finger over her cheek to flick away a stray eyelash. "Why would you even consider it?"

  "Maybe he’s changed. It’s possible," she whispered, her freckles standing out against the sudden paleness of her skin.

  Stepping back, I pressed a hand to my abs as I swallowed hard against the bile making its way up my throat. Of all the things I had expected to tear us apart, I'd never imagined it would be this. It couldn't be real, could it? "You’re seriously considering this? What about us, Clo? What about what we have?

  The squeak of the stool as she shifted on it was the only sound in the kitchen while I waited for her answer.

  Finally, she cleared her throat, her voice cracking, "I love you, Orion, but I don't think it's a good idea to make this relationship more than it is."

  Her words were physical blows to my chest. We were good together. No, we were fucking great together, and she knew it. Sometimes it was hard, but the good had outweighed the bad, and despite our past, and her baggage, I made her happy.

  "Why?" I stood in the ray of dust-filled light that filtered through the kitchen window, and hugged my arms to my side. "Answer me that. We’re good together. Why can't you admit you're happy with me?"

  Getting off the stool, she crossed to the window, taking a moment before she answered. "I am happy with you."

  Those five words echoed in my ears. They were real, perhaps the only true thing she’d said since I’d arrived. Turning to me, her eyes widened as she realized it too. This moment was the truth in a trough full of lies, and for the first time since I walked in her front door, the weight on my chest eased.

  Palms out, I approached her. "Then why would you throw it away on him?"

  Hands up to my chest, she kept me from taking her into my arms, though she shook the entire time. "I know what to expect with him. He can't hurt me any worse than he has, but you..."

  Her eyes watered, and she turned from me in an effort to hide her emotion, but the shaking of her shoulders betrayed her. "What about me?"

  "If you disappointed me, it would destroy me. You mean too much to me to let that happen."

  Hallefreakinlujah. I meant too much to her. Maybe we were closer to breaking through these issues of hers than either of us had realized. Settling my hands on her upper arms, I pulled into my chest. "You’re scared, babe, and you’re trying to run away. I get that, but he isn’t the answer. You don’t need to do this. We can get past this."

  "Let it go, Orion." Struggling in my arms, she tried to pull away. "Let me go."

  "Can’t do that, love." I lowered my lips to her ear. "I’m a sure bet. I’m not going to hurt you, and I am going to be patient. You don’t need to run. Just give us time. That’s all we need. Can you do that?"

  She quit wriggling and relaxed into me. Her breathing slowed, and I tightened my hold on her. "I—"

  The front door banged shut and she jumped out of my arms. Zack entered the kitchen, darting glances between her and me as she scooted further away. He crossed the room to take her hands in his, and I shoved my balled up fists into my pockets.

  "I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?" Could she not see the way he was smirking at me over her head?

  The silence was deafening while we both waited for her to answer. My pulse thrummed in my ears. We’d been so close to breaking through the damage he’d caused. She’d finally been ready to accept that we were worth fighting for. Whatever she said now could make us or break us. She twisted to level a lingering glance at me over her shoulder. My lungs burned from a lack of oxygen.

  "I can’t," she mouthed at me and turned back to Zack. "Yes, seven. I’ll be ready."

  He pressed his lips to her cheek as I sagged against the sink. Then he leered at me and left.

  "This is really what you want to do, Clo?"

  "I need your friendship, Orion. I can’t afford to lose that."

  "You’re making a mistake." I covered the distance between us and pressed my lips to her hair. "I don’t think I can go back to being friends, not when I know we could be so much more, if you’d let us."

  "Please, Orion."

  Letting her go was the hardest thing I’d ever done. It was almost as if my entire body ached from not being able to hold onto her. "If you change your mind..." I made my way to the front door, her trailing behind me. "When you change your mind, you know where I am. I just can’t be here to watch you let him hurt you again."

  Pulling the door closed between us, I heard the quiet click of the latch falling into place.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  "The months dragged, and I wavered between anger and hurt more than I care to admit. I caught myself thinking about her, and wondering whether she was lying in Zack’s arms." Orion shifts on the stool. "I’d push her to the back of my mind and try to forget her, but how do you forget someone who has been part of your life for so long?"

  August 2011

  I lashed out to silence the infernal racket from the alarm clock and pushed myself out of bed. Facing another Saturday on site, I stumbled into the shower and raced to get ready. As I jumped out of the shower my phone rang, and I snagged a towel and dashed into the bedroom to answer it. Maybe Mike was calling to cancel the appointment this mornin
g. Phone to my ear, I struggled into my pants. "Hello, Mike. Are you calling to give me the day off?"

  "It’s your sister, moron," Birdie chirped on the other end. "Happy Birthday."

  I stared at the date on my phone. "Thanks, Sis, but it could have passed me by this year."

  "Are you doing anything for it?"

  Putting her on speaker, I tugged my shirt over my head. "Yeah, I’m working."

  "I meant, are we celebrating?"

  "I’m not really in the mood." I picked my phone up and raced into the kitchen where I poured coffee into a travel mug.

  "You need to get over it." She meant I needed to get over her, and she was right but it would take time.

  "I know. Look, I have to go, but I’ll ring you if I decide to do anything." Hanging up on her, I rushed to the truck and gulped my coffee as I drove out to the site. Mike was already waiting with the plumber and electrician.

  "You're late." Mike glanced at his watch, as I jumped from the truck. "I guess you're lucky it's your birthday."

  I strode over to where the three of them were standing. "What are we up to?"

  It took all morning to get the issues sorted out, but we were on schedule for Monday. I wiped the dust off my hands on a rag. "Well, I’m off if you don’t need me for anything else?"

  "No, I’ll be leaving in a minute too." Mike ticked off boxes on his tablet. "Oh, Mellie asked what you were doing tonight."

  "Absolutely nothing." Knowing Mellie and Mike, his next words would be a dinner invitation.

  "I'll let her know," he said, not glancing up from the tablet.

  I climbed into the truck and wound down the window. "See you on Monday."

  Mike kept working on his tablet as I drove away from the site.

  On the way home, I decided to take the GTO for a spin. It had been forever since I’d taken the beast for a drive. I hadn’t had the time, but with an entire afternoon to myself I could rectify that. She’d been in perfect order last time I started her, but I hadn’t taken her for a run in months.

  I pulled the cover of the GTO and circled her before popping open the door and sliding behind the wheel. The vague smell of leather conditioner still clung to the seats, and I keyed the ignition. She shuddered and sputtered a cough before her engine stopped. Popping the hood, I went to get my toolbox. I’d have her humming again before the sun went down. Time got away from me.

  "Hey legs, have you seen the birthday boy?"

  "What are you doing here?" I slid out from beneath the car and stood up.

  Mellie threw her arms around me, despite the fact I was covered in grease and dirt. "Happy birthday. Come inside, we're going to celebrate."

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me along. We stopped in the laundry and I kicked off my work boots while she washed her hands, which were almost as filthy as mine. I took a turn at the sink and then she dragged me into the kitchen while I protested. "Mellie, I didn't want to celebrate."

  Mike poured scotch and Coke into glasses while he chatted with Birdie, who perched on a stool. Mellie’s famous chocolate cake sat on the counter. Next to the sink sat a tray of steaks.

  I shoved my hand through my hair and grinned. "Seriously?"

  Mellie hugged me, and Mike pulled a bottle of absinthe from a paper bag. "Seriously."

  Two shot glasses were already lined up on the bench, and he poured a measure of the green liquid into each before handing me one. "Cheers."

  He tipped his glass, and I mimicked him. Birdie kicked us out and took over the kitchen while she made salads. Mike fired up the grill, and I nursed my drink while I sat on the edge of the back deck.

  Mellie plunked down beside me and elbowed me in the ribs. "Did she... have you heard from her?"

  "No." I shook my head. "I think it's over. I have to let it go."

  "I can kidnap her for you if you want. Just say the word." She raised an eyebrow.

  I snickered at her comical expression. She would make a great gangster. "Thanks, but I don't think that would be a good idea."

  She patted my knee. "If you change your mind let me know."

  A commotion broke out as some of the guys from my crew entered the backyard. Mellie fiddled with the sound system, and tunes pumped through the speakers. Everyone settled into a comfortable group, drinking and chatting as the smell of steaks perfumed the air. Everything I wanted was right here, except her.

  ***

  I spun Mellie around the dimly lit backyard. I’d had several scotches over dinner, and another shot of absinthe. Mike chortled as I tried not to trip over my feet and failed. If Mellie hadn’t been holding me up, I would have been on my ass.

  The guys left, leaving the four of us to continue without them. Birdie brought out my guitar, and I belted out a Bon Jovi number for Mellie and managed that ridiculous boy band song Birdie loved. Mike lurched over to me and handed me another shot, and I slammed it down. I probably shouldn’t have. It hit me fast and pushed me over the edge of mellow to really fucking drunk.

  Mike grinned at me with both his faces. "Play us another one."

  I strummed the guitar, losing notes as I picked at an extraordinary amount of strings. Eyes shut, I wandered around the backyard. My playing improved as I felt my way through the music with my fingers. I swaggered as I belted out a mid-eighties rock ballad.

  Lowering the guitar to my side, I opened my eyes. The world spun, and my stomach pitched, but I fought the need to heave.

  I was not alone in the middle of the yard. Clo stood right in front of me, an ethereal angel swaying in and out of focus. She opened her mouth and I put my palm over her face as I pressed one of my fingers to my lips and yelled, "Shush!"

  Cocking her head to the side, she took my hand in hers. "Orion?"

  I tipped my head in the same direction. "You're a hallucination, right? You're in my head, maybe you always have been. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I could be a writer like Ernest Hemingway or Stephen King. I've got an awesome imagination, that's all. You're not real."

  She raised her eyebrows and drew them together. "Don't be stupid. You hated English, remember?"

  "Yeah." I shrugged. "But with technology these days, I could do it. I could write a story where the love of my life was always mine."

  She sniggered.

  "Hey, Clo," Mellie sung out as she passed us.

  "Huh? What? You see her?"

  "Sorry about that. They were drinking absinthe." Mellie squeezed Clo's shoulder.

  "My timing couldn't be worse then?" I watched the two exchange glances. It was possible they were communicating telepathically.

  "Probably not, but timing isn't everything. It's what you do with it. "Mellie reached up and kissed my cheek. "I'm going to get Mike home before he passes out. Goodnight, birthday boy, play nice."

  "I always play nice." I swatted her butt.

  She yelped and turned around to wag a finger at me. "I mean it, Orion. You're the one who will regret it tomorrow."

  I already regretted tomorrow after slamming that last shot of absinthe. My gaze shot back to Clo, and she took a step away. "You’re real then."

  "And you’re drunk." She gave a nervous giggle.

  I advanced on her, and she threw glances over her shoulder as she retreated. "That may be, but I can still tie a damn good knot."

  "What?" She halted, and I grabbed hold of her.

  Swaying on unsteady feet, I ran a palm down her arm and twined our fingers together to haul her into my chest. "I'm going to get you naked, and then I'm going to tie you to my bed. You’re never going to escape."

  It was not a great plan. I could barely hold myself up. Even if I could manage to tie the knots, it wouldn’t keep her beside me. The idea though, had my imagination in overdrive. One day, if she stayed, and I wasn’t so drunk I’d broach the subject seriously. For now, I just wanted her to know that I never wanted to let her go. With each minute that passed, I rested more of my weight on her. "Babe?"

  "Yes?" she snuck under my arm and wrapped her arms around my waist.


  "I love you. L.O.V.E you," I sung to her as she half carried me into the house.

  "Love you too," she cooed as she pushed me on to the bed and pulled off my jeans. "Let’s get you into bed."

  Fingers to her cheek, I couldn’t help myself. "Would you let me?"

  "Let you what?"

  "Tie you up and have my way with you."

  "Anything for you."

  "No, love." Her face swam in front of me. "Anything for you."

  ***

  "Shit," I groaned. Someone was taking a meat cleaver to my brain and they weren't skilled or methodical. No, this was a murder being performed by someone with no idea how to wield a knife, and anger management issues. Stretching out, I encountered bare skin. What the fuck? I didn’t remember going to bed with anyone, but there was certainly someone next to me now.

  My mind raced through the possibilities. God, please don’t be Bella, I prayed to the ceiling, as she snuggled closer to me. Turning my head to gaze at the back of her head, I let go of the breath I’d been holding. Thankfully, it wasn’t Bella. I wouldn’t have to deal with the awkwardness that would have caused, but the burnished blond highlights in her copper hair made me freeze as she rolled toward me.

  "Morning." Clo stroked her hand over my chest. "How are you feeling?"

  I was shocked, confused, and pissed off she was naked in my bed, and I regretted not being able to remember the night before. "What...are you doing here?"

  She grazed her lips over my jaw as her fingers traced over the dips in my abs and moved lower. "You don't remember."

  "No."

  "You were off your face when I got here." She slid a leg over my hip and brushed against my cock.

  Already erect, the desire to roll her under me and forget I was angry with her was tempting, but I had to know what she was thinking. "Why are you here, Clo? I slid her leg off me and inched closer to the edge of the bed. "What happened to going back to Zack?"

  She cringed, and I reached out to comfort her, but I snatched my hand back. I needed more than her in my bed to be willing to give her anything.

  "I"— she clasped her hands to my face— "decided to take a chance."