Mia Found (Starting Fires Book 3)

by Makenzie Smith

“Paul? What is it?” My palms sweated and I fidgeted in my seat.

  He swallowed and clasped his hands together. “I–I took the job in Florida.” Paul paused, gauging my reaction.

  My mouth hung open and the only words that came were, “You what?”

  “They offered it to me on my last day. I–I wasn’t expecting it, but I start in three weeks.”

  Tears sprang to my eyes. “What? You just…you just took the job? You didn’t talk to me about it? Or ask me how I felt? Three weeks? Are you kidding me? Three weeks?”

  His hands come out and he started to stand, but sat back down. “It all happened so fast. They threw the contract at me and said I had to sign if I wanted it. Mia, it was a great offer. This doesn’t have to change anything for us. We can still make it work.”

  A tear trickled down my cheek and I wiped it away. “You didn’t even ask me. How can you say it won’t change anything for us? You’ll be hundreds of miles away.”

  “I can come home on the weekends.” His eyes cut from his hands to my eyes in a nervous twitch. “Or you could…you could move with me.”

  My breath left me. Move with him? Leave my family? Leave the only home I’ve ever known? Just like that? In three weeks?

  It was so unfair to spring this on me—to not consider my feelings at all. My tears came harder when I realized he’d slept with me knowing he would be leaving. After all his waiting, all the fear of hurting me when one of us might have to move and this is what it came down to. A sob tore from my chest that I quickly tried to hide. Screw him.

  Paul joined me on the loveseat, putting his arms around me, but I flinched away. “You’re a…a selfish jerk!” I stood and grabbed my bags at the door. “I need to be away from you,” I said. “You hurt me. This hurts me, Paul. I’ve tried to be understanding of everything but you’re running away and leaving me behind.”

  “What?” Paul stood and walked to block the door. “I’m not leaving you behind. I said you can come with me! I want you to! I can support you while you try to find a job. We can make it work.”

  Unable to focus or think straight, I took a step towards the door and his hands came up.

  “Wait,” he said. “I know you need time and I know this was sudden, but…don’t leave, Mia. Please.”

  “You’re the one leaving,” I bit out and stormed past him.

  At home, my mind was reeling. I couldn’t wrap my head around any one thought. The painting I made ended up being nothing but a big black blob, and I threw it into the trash. Paul called me through the night and when I never answered, he showed up at my door.

  It was late and when I didn’t respond, I knew he’d be too polite to continue banging, so I hovered—listening to his feet shuffle on the doormat.

  “Mia,” I heard through the wood. “Mia, please talk to me.”

  I remained silent.

  “I…” His fist fell softly on the door. “If you’re there, if you can hear me…I know you need time. I know this is a lot to take in, but I meant everything I said. I want you with me. And I wanted…I wanted to do this differently.”

  Paul said something else, but it was muffled like he’d said it softer. I heard his feet move to the stairs and I realized I had a finger on the wood, rubbing it with longing. I sighed and went to bed.

  The next day, I packed another suitcase and called Gladys. She understood that I wanted a few extra days and ended the call with a vague comment about following my heart. I drove to my parents’ home, knowing they wouldn’t be there. They were out of town on a romantic getaway, and I had their house to myself. I didn’t even bother turning on the lights, shutting myself away in my old bedroom.

  Over the next two days, Paul only texted once.

  Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. We can do this however you want. My heart is yours.

  I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I was so angry. My fury was hot and coursing through me. Underneath that was my pain. I felt cast aside. Unconsidered.

  Moving was always going to be an option, a likely option for both of us, but I thought it would be something we’d discuss. I pictured us hammering out the details together, discussing our options openly, not being thrown into it in a whirlwind, forced to make changes and decisions in a rush.

  That night I cried myself to sleep because despite how angry I was, I hated thinking about Paul leaving. So many variables were in the mix. Was I even ready to move to another state? On top of that, move in with my boyfriend? We’d only been dating a few months.

  My parents would kill me.

  And live with him, unemployed, while he supported me?

  No. I couldn’t do it.

  I wasn’t ready.

  I woke the following morning achy and still exhausted. My sleep had been restless. Instead of facing my dilemma head on, I busied myself, unwilling to face the inevitable truth. I roamed around my parents’ house, watching movies and doing their laundry. Anytime my thoughts roamed to Paul, I found a new task to occupy me. My time alone was unproductive to my emotional turmoil.

  By that night, Marlowe and Lucas began calling. When I didn’t answer, Marlowe left a voicemail. Reluctantly, I listened to it.

  “Listen, Mia. Paul filled me in on everything. And I know how bad this sucks. I know how bad he sucks. But we’re worried about you. No one knows where you went. You should know Lucas is out looking for you. Just…call someone okay?”

  If Lucas was out looking for me, the first place he’d come would be my parent’s home. I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want to face anyone. Glancing at the clock, I realized he’d be there within twenty minutes.

  Lucas would be a bully and make me feel stupid and childish. Not to prove him wrong, I curled up on my childhood bed and pulled the covers over my head.

  Maybe I was looking at this all wrong. Maybe it could work. Besides, Paul was an attractive, successful man. If I told him I couldn’t, he’d be snatched up by some hot, beach babe.

  I nearly choked.

  The idea of Paul touching another woman made me sick. The thought of him looking at anyone else with his honest eyes and lopsided smile made tears spring to my eyes.

  By the time the front door opened, I was full on crying. A few moments later, Lucas pushed open my bedroom door and flicked on the light.

  “Mia?”

  “What?” I responded, my tears evident.

  “Thank God. You know I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Answer your damn phone.”

  “No!” I screamed, sounding like an angsty teenager.

  My anger didn’t faze him. “Do you know how stupid you’re being?”

  “Stupid?” I sat up in the bed with a jerk of my hands. “Shut up, Lucas! You don’t know anything about what I feel. You’ve been listening to Paul and letting him fill your head with his...his…”

  “Shit,” he finished for me.

  “Yes! So SHUT UP!”

  He rolled his eyes and looked to the ceiling. “God, you’re being so dramatic.”

  “Go away.”

  “Fine, but I’m calling Paul and telling him where you are.”

  I threw myself back on the bed and cried harder. “He’s leaving,” I whined. “He took a job in Florida and he’s leaving in three weeks. He didn’t even tell me.”

  Lucas was silent, but then moved towards the bed and sat at my feet.

  “But doesn’t he want you to come with him?”

  “So what! It’s three weeks away. Am I just expected to drop everything? Forget about the life I have here to go with him?”

  He sighed. “I don’t have that answer. That’s something you have to decide for yourself.”

  “So wise.” My voice was nasally and dripping sarcasm.

  “Look, I don’t give a shit what you do. I’m only here because Marlowe was worried about you.”

  “And you weren’t?”

  “Not really. I figured if you wanted to be alone we should let you. But she’s…persistent. And I have to live with he
r, so…here I am.”

  “Well you found me. Tell her I’m fine and go on your way.”

  “Do you want to talk to him? He’s outside.”

  I shot up. “What? Why?”

  “Because. He was at our house when I left. I offered to let him come along. Do you want to talk to him or not? I can tell him no and we can leave.”

  Without even thinking about it, my feet hit the floor and I walked to the front door. Wanting to see him first, I peeked through the blinds.

  He was standing on the edge of the porch, peering out into the yard. His shoulders were slumped, but his clothes and hair were still perfectly in place. It disappointed me. I wanted him to look crazed, wild, out of his mind.

  My hand went to the knob, ready to let him have it, but I hesitated.

  Paul crouched down and brought his hands to his face. They rubbed and rubbed, until finding their way to his hair. He messed and prodded until it was standing up on all ends. His attempt to smooth it down left strands still sticking up in places. When he stood, he brought his forehead to the post and closed his eyes. His lips were moving, but I couldn’t make out the words.

  Paul was in pain. Distressed.

  Quietly, I opened the door, and its gentle squeak made him flinch. He rushed towards me, but stopped short. “Mia,” he said. “I–I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me. I wasn’t going to come, thinking you’d still want space. Do you want me to leave? I’m not trying to pressure you. We can talk about all this later if you want. I know how much of an ass I am. I’m so sorry. I thought–I thought. Ah fuck, I wasn’t thinking. Not fully. And that’s the problem isn’t it? I never think about anything. I just do. That’s good for my job, but not for us. I see that. I know that, Pretty. What can I do to make it better? Tell me. I’ll do it. I’ll do anything you want.”

  Paul.

  I hadn’t even said a word. How was I supposed to yell at him now? A stray tear fell from my eye and I wiped it away. I wrapped my arms around his stomach and fell into his chest. It was involuntary. I just needed to feel him close. Immediately, his arms came around me, his hands falling into my hair. Kneading it. Caressing it.

  “I don’t know what you can do,” I told him honestly and he tensed. “Give me a few days, Paul. This is all…it’s all so fast and if I’m with you everything will get muddled and I won’t be able to think straight. This is big. You’re leaving. Moving states away. I need time to decide if I can handle this.”

  After a few seconds, he nodded against me. “Whatever you want. You’ll call me?”

  “Yes. I promise.”

  He pulled back and kissed me softly on the lips. When he moved away, his eyes were glassy. As soon as he stepped off the porch, my brother opened the front door and stood beside me.

  Eavesdropping punk.

  “He’s fucking crazy about you,” he said. “You better call him.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  I DIDN’T CALL HIM. I stayed silent, nursing my wounds and making sense of everything. We received a shipment of summer dresses at Faeries and Moonbeams, and Gladys insisted I buy one. According to her, it screamed out to my aura. The dress was a pretty purple with thin straps. I hadn’t even noticed it, but, apparently, my spirit had.

  After I made it home, I was glad I’d let her convince me. The purple wasn’t something I’d normally purchase but the color made my dark hair pop, and the material fell lazily against my body. My mind made up, I wore complimentary eyeliner and loved the way Paul’s mouth fell open when he saw me at his front door.

  “Mia? What are you? Why are you?” He made a nervous sound in his throat and opened the fully door. “I’m sorry. Come in.” his eyes were bloodshot and his face was unshaved.

  “You aren’t dressed,” I said.

  “For…?”

  “Aren’t we having dinner at your parents’ tonight?”

  “We were but I…” His brows drew in. “I can call mom and let her know we’re coming.”

  He went for his phone, but I grabbed his wrist.

  “What you did was stupid and insensitive and a fast way to end a relationship.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I brought a finger to it, shushing him. “I’m going to forgive you, because as mad as I am, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Even if you are states away. This is going to be hard, but I want to try.”

  His response was a crushing of lips, pulling me in so close that I could barely breathe. It was painful the way he kissed me, like he’d truly thought I was lost to him forever. I slowed him with a gentle touch of my hand.

  “I wouldn’t have let us be over,” he whispered. “I would have figured something out. My idiocy won’t come between us again.”

  The promise in his eyes was hard to deny. “Call your momma and tell her we’re coming.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he grinned.

  A little over an hour later, we were in his car driving to his parents’ home. Paul had been attentive, unwilling to let me out of his sight while he got ready, almost as if he thought I’d run away again. But I wasn’t. When you loved someone, you fought for them. The circumstances of our relationship were changing, but if I wanted Paul, I could win this battle.

  I’d wasted a whole week being angry and scared. Now, Paul would be gone soon. Two more weeks was all I had. After he left, I’d focus on finding a job. My lease would be up soon. If nothing came through, I’d be moving back home with my parents. The thought alone made me release a sigh. Paul mistook my frustration for something else and reached across the seat to take my hand.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said.

  Not wanting him to suffer in guilt, I gave his hand a squeeze. “It’s not that.”

  “Are you nervous about meeting my parents? Don’t be. They’ll love you.”

  I smiled at him. “It’s not that either. I’ll probably have to move back home soon. No jobs have come through.”

  “You won’t have to do that,” he said, squeezing my hand.

  Why? Because Paul was going to foot the bill? “It’s important to my growth that I figure this out on my own. If I have to move back in, I guess…I guess I’ll have to.”

  “I know. I just…” He squirmed in his seat, loosening his tie. “I just want to make this up to you. To show you that I can be there.”

  It was sweet, but not what I wanted from him. “Then be there in other ways.”

  Paul huffed, not out of annoyance, more like he was stressed, confused. I wondered how his other relationships had gone. Maybe when he’d messed up in the past, all of his transgressions were swept under the rug with gifts or monetary means.

  Playfully, I narrowed my eyes at him. “You aren’t going to buy your way out of this trouble, Mr. Macione,” I said.

  He chuckled. “I’m not trying to buy my way out of anything. But if I can’t be there for you in person, I’d like to know I’m helping you in ways I can. Just…think about it.”

  Before I could respond, we pulled up to a large house and my eyes bulged. An arch, tall and stunning, highlighted the front door. A fountain sat in the middle of the circular drive. Three cars already waited for us and I nervously stepped out. This was by far the nicest house I’d ever seen.

  “Wow…” I mused, eyeing the mansion before me.

  “I know,” Paul said, shaking his head. “My father likes to…impress.” He leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Between you and me, this is way too expensive for him. I’d know. I’m his accountant.”

  “Still,” I said. “It’s amazing.”

  Paul smiled. “Oh, he’ll love you.”

  Taking my hand, he led me to the front door. It flung open before we made it to the landing. His Uncle Tony stood with his back to us, yelling at someone. “It is in my car,” he said. “What do you think I am doing right now?” He threw his hand towards the voice and walked outside, his eyes lighting up when he saw us. “Mia!” His arms stretched out and he ignored Paul completely as he wrapped them around me. “My sister told me you would be here tonight. So
good of you and Paul to join us for this celebration.”

  Confused by his statement, my head tilted. What celebration?

  “Uh,” Paul said. “What do you mean?”

  Tony gave Paul a hug. “Your mother is so happy you are here. She would hate for this bad blood between you and your brother to continue.”

  “Is he here?” Paul asked, shaking out of Tony’s embrace. “No one told me that.”

  “Paul…Are you crazy? Why would he not be at his own rehearsal dinner?”

  I pulled my lips into my mouth. Paul stared at his uncle, trying to make sense of what he’d just been told.

  “Rick’s wedding is tomorrow?”

  “Yes,” Tony said. “Why do you think you are here?”

  Paul didn’t answer and looked to his feet. His stance was aggressive, angry. Hoping I could calm him, I touched his waist and slowly stepped into him.

  “We don’t have to stay,” I whispered. In fact, I didn’t want to. It’d been a whole week since we were alone and since he’d be leaving soon, I’d rather be with him—relishing the last days we had, not celebrating his brother and Marjorie’s nuptials.

  He was contemplating it, trying to figure out what he wanted to do when the front door opened and Marjorie appeared on the steps. Even though she tried to look surprised, I saw it—she’d known he was out here.

  “Paul,” she said, approaching us with a practiced smile. My hand clutched Paul tighter. I wasn’t sure why. Either because I felt protective of him or insecure in her presence. I didn’t know. Tony left us to retrieve something from his car and Marjorie’s eyes landed on me. They were trying to tell me something. Does she want me to leave, too? She was insane if she thought I was leaving Paul alone with her.

  Realizing I wasn’t going anywhere, she turned back to Paul. “Thank you for coming,” she said.

  “I didn’t know it was your rehearsal dinner.” His mouth was set in a thin line, his eyes guarded.

  “Stay,” she said, her long neck stretching towards him. “Please.” Paul didn’t respond, still too wound up. “For me,” she added.

  Her eyes darted to me for only a second, but it was long enough for her to see the frown that covered my face. For me? Who the hell did she think she was?