“I love you,” I said.
Paul gave me a bashful smile and reached out his hand.
I went to him.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
ONLY A FEW HOURS stood between Paul and me being together and Paul and me being apart. Soon he’d be driving me to the airport and we’d have our goodbye. I couldn’t let my mind dwell on that; just thinking about it made me want to cry.
When we returned home, Paul wanted to take a shower and I offered to walk Ferdinand around the neighborhood. I’d missed doing this. Letting this big beast drag me around was heartwarming. I took solace knowing that one day soon, I’d be able to do it as often as I liked.
After we made it back, I heard the shower running and peeked my head in. “Still in there?” I asked.
He laughed. “Actually I just got in. The office called and I had to handle something. I almost made it my whole vacation without having to talk to them.”
“All right. See you in a bit then.”
My bags were already packed, resting at the door. The sight of them made my heart spasm and I glanced at the clock. Just over an hour. That was it.
Ferdinand came to my legs and gave me a nudge, barking as he scampered into the kitchen. I followed him to his food and water bowls, filling them up.
So preoccupied with my worrying thoughts, I barely registered hearing the front door open. The grating sound of key. The twisting of the handle. It all suddenly came together, and I froze, staring at the door dumbfounded, afraid that a serial killer was about to break in and Paul was clear across the house, naked and in the shower.
Instead of an axe wielding murderer, Liza appeared with a box in her hands. She was smiling as she walked in, casually dropping her keys on the counter.
“Oh!” Liza yelped, noticing me. “Mia, you scared me to death. What are you doing here?”
“Uh…” What did she mean, what was I doing here? What was she doing here? And why did she have a key?
“Oh. That’s right,” she said. “I forgot you’d still be here today.”
“I’m leaving in a bit. But…Liza…what are you doing?”
With a saccharine smile she held up the box. “I promised Paul new wine glasses. Is he here?”
“In the shower.”
Liza set the box on his counter and sat on one of the bar stools.
Silently we assessed each other. I realized that I’d been wrong about her. She looked nothing like Fiona. They shared tattoos and colorful hair, but their eyes set them apart. Fiona’s held sorrow. Fiona was like a wounded animal, fighting for her life. Liza’s eyes were cool, calculating. She wasn’t the wounded animal, she was the huntress.
Liza smiled, tapping her fingers against the counter. “You know,” she said. “I’d completely forgotten you two were dating. It’s remarkable that you’ve lasted. Most long distance romances don’t. I mean, especially when one of them is dashing off to hotels every couple of weekends with another woman.” Liza winked. “I mean it’s for work. But still. A lesser woman might have wondered.”
My mouth felt dry, like it had been hanging open. Taking a breath, I attempted to gain some confidence. “Maybe that’s why Paul likes me,” I said. “I’m not a lesser woman.”
“Hmmm.” She propped her hand into her chin and studied me. “How much longer do you think you can keep this up? Paul’s my friend. I care about him. If you leave him out of the blue, I’ll be the one picking up the pieces.”
She cared about him? My thoughts were so flustered that I ended up stuttering out a slew of nonsense. “You–I can’t–I mean–You’re such a–”
“Mia!” Paul called, coming out of the bathroom in his towel. “I was thinking that maybe we could–”
He paused in the hallway, wrapping the towel tighter around his waist. “Jesus, Liza. I nearly came out here naked.”
Liza threw her head back with a laugh. “Wouldn’t that have been a sight?”
Her giggle made my skin crawl. Was she was flirting with him right in front of me?
“Liza came by to drop off more wine glasses,” I said, not looking at Paul. “She gave me quite a fright when she used her key to get in.”
“Huh.” Paul said, eying me, trying to gauge my reaction. “Well, uh, thanks for the glasses Liza. I gotta get ready so I can take Mia to the airport.”
“No worries.” She waved a hand, rising from the stool. “I’d forgotten Mia was here. Since you’ll be solo this weekend, do you want to go out with me and Garrett to a concert?”
“Uh. Maybe,” Paul said. “I’ll let you know.”
“Sure just text me when you’re, you know, not dealing with all this.”
Liza waved goodbye and left, using her key to lock the door behind her.
My arms folded over my chest and Paul stood in his living room, eyeing me—waiting to know what I would say.
“She has a key to your house.”
“It’s not like that,” he said. “When I was going on all these trips, I needed someone to take care of Ferdinand. She offered.”
“Why did she offer?” I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. “Can you think of any reason she would do that?”
“No,” Paul shrugged. “I guess she was just trying to be helpful.”
“You’re such an idiot!” My hands flailed around and I was shocked at my sudden outburst. “You really think that’s it! That she just wants to ‘help’ you. She wants you Paul. She wants me out of the picture so she can have you.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
I hated how calm he was being, how blasé and relaxed. It only made me angrier. “How do you know that? You don’t. But I do because every time she’s around me, she throws those little things in my face. ‘Oh, I spend so much time with him.’ ‘Oh, Paul you’re such a wino, but I won’t tell Mia all your secrets.’ Bullcrap!”
“Can I put some clothes on before we continue this?”
I huffed, waving my hand in dismissal. Within only a few seconds, he was back, jerking a shirt over his torso. “I work with her a lot, Mia. You already know that, but we’re just friends. Only friends, okay? We’ve never been and never will be more than that.”
“Has she ever come on to you?”
Paul took a deep breath through his nose, letting it out in a huff. Without looking at me, he said, “Yes,” and I turned my back on him.
“Once, Mia. Not long after I moved. Only once.”
“What did she do?” I asked, staring out his window.
“She tried to kiss me. When I told her no, she apologized and said she didn’t realize I was still dating you. She hasn’t tried since. But you should know after that I distanced myself from her. We hardly talked. But we’re friends now. Just friends. I don’t want her, Mia. At all. Even if I’d never met you, I wouldn’t want her.”
His hands fell on my shoulders and he rubbed them down my arms, stopping to wrap them around my waist. “I hope you know there’s no one else for me. But I’ll get my key back. You’re right. She shouldn’t have one. I’ll give it to someone else.”
“You shouldn’t have given it to her in the first place,” I said with more calm. This is what she wanted, me to look like an insecure fool. “But it would make me feel better if she didn’t have one.”
“Consider it done. Though if you’d been there when I gave it to her, I think you’d understand. I’d asked everyone in the office but her to help out with Ferdinand. When she knew I was looking, she offered, but all day I begged everyone else before I relented. She really was the only one available, and since I’m still gone all the time, I let her keep it.”
Less than an hour stood between us and the airport and I didn’t want to spend it worrying about Liza and her key and her stupid words. Instead, I followed Paul to the couch and lie down on his chest, letting the rise and fall of his breaths sooth me. The steady rhythm of his heart was like a clock, ticking away at our time.
“I have something for you,” he said, breaking the silence. Only a few minu
tes were left. “I want you to look at it. Okay?”
“Okay…”
Paul maneuvered out from under me and left the room, returning with a stapled stack of paper.
“I found it a while back. Looking at it, I think it’s a good one.”
It was a job application for The Charles Dale Art Museum. I’d never heard of it, but glanced through the documents. It was beautiful. All the showrooms were exquisite and they had a large collection.
The description said, “Entry level position in a well-loved art museum located in a great community with opportunity for growth and trips across the world to sister museums. Starting salary of $45,000.”
This was too good to be true. “Are they still hiring? Do you think I could get an interview?”
“If you want one,” Paul said. “Catherine is friends with one of the directors. She’s the one who told me about it.”
“Yes. Of course. Yes, I want one. But I’ve never heard of this museum before. Where is it?”
“Oregon.”
I dropped the papers. “Oregon?”
“I know,” Paul said, sitting down beside me. “It’s a long way away.”
“Yeah. It’s Oregon. As in the Pacific Northwest Oregon. We’d never see each other.”
Paul took my hand. “It would be hard. Much harder than it is now, but this job could be perfect for you. Think about it. Look at it. You’ve dreamed about this. Take me out of the picture.”
How was I supposed to do that?
“Yeah, all right,” I said.
But as Paul loaded all of my suitcases into the rental car, I stared at the application. The paper felt like it was burning my hands.
Instead of stuffing it into my purse, I walked over to his trashcan and tossed it in.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
I’D BEEN HOME FOR little more than a day when my phone rang. The call came from the hospital. Gladys had been brought in via ambulance and I was her emergency contact.
Me.
As I drove, I tried to remember if Gladys had ever mentioned anyone in her life. There’d never been men or women. She’d never said anything about children. It was like a light bulb went off. Gladys was all alone. I’d never known. How sure and comfortable she must have been in her own skin. She’d never acted lonely. She’d never begged for companionship. She was just Gladys. And suddenly what that meant was a great mystery.
The nurse told me to sit in the waiting room and fill out paperwork. I was a complete waste, knowing only the basics about her personal life. I learned that Gladys had been in a car accident, but they didn’t anticipate any serious problems and she would be out of surgery within the hour.
While I waited, I texted Paul. Gladys was in a car accident. At the hospital now.
Oh, no! he said. Let me know if I can help in anyway.
I smiled down at my phone, but knew there wasn’t much he could do—not from where he was—but it was nice to see his words.
Hospitals reminded me of death. Of tears and weak hugs. My grandmother had passed in this exact hospital after a long battle with lung cancer. If I closed my eyes, I could still remember the path to her room from where I was. Turning corners, a ride in an elevator. The white desk with the red flowers. Her room back in the corner. Antiseptic and gardenias.
Feeling the tears well, I shook out of the memory and focused on Paul instead.
Our goodbye had been bittersweet. We made promises to see each other soon, and he’d kissed me long and hard, waiting with me as long as he could. He stood where I could see him until I cleared security and was forced to move on.
“Miss Burns?” a nurse asked.
“Yes, ma’am. That’s me.”
“Gladys is back in her room if you’d like to see her.”
“Thank you.” I gathered my things and followed her.
A white bandage was wrapped around Gladys’s head, covering one eye. Her arms looked bruised and her leg was in a cast, but the soft rise and fall of her chest was hopeful.
Feeling a little uncomfortable, I sat at her bed and held her hand. I’d never considered Gladys and I close. She was my boss and had been for years. While I watched her sleep, I thought about the times she’d called me into her office and given advice. She’d always let me leave early, come in late, or take days off. Gladys always knew when I was sad or needed uplifting. And in my head, I’d called her a wacko or crazy. Squeezing her hand, I leaned in and whispered, “I’m here, Gladys. Your Mia is here.”
The doctor told me that she would be fine. After a few weeks of recovery and physical therapy, she’d be free to leave. She’d be in a cast for a while, but he didn’t anticipate any permanent damage.
I stayed in the room until she woke and her uncovered eye smiled up at me. “Your aura is muted, darling,” was the first thing she said. “Have you been worried about me?”
“No,” I smiled. “I knew you’d be fine.”
“Thank goodness for you. My brother lives somewhere in Memphis. I don’t even know how to reach him.”
“It’s no problem. Is there something I can get for you? Clothes? Things from your house?”
Her eye welled and she looked away from me. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”
I retrieved her house key and went to leave. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Mia,” she whispered and I knew. Telling Gladys that I was quitting wouldn’t be happening until she recovered.
The next few days were spent helping Gladys the best I could. With her in the hospital, I opened and closed Faeries and Moonbeams every day. At night, I went to Savage Noble and helped the stressed, over-worked bartenders. Hank had become a staple of sorts and it had done the trick. Most of the riff-raff associated with Cowboy’s didn’t hang around to listen to his soulful music.
Only a few days had passed since I’d been home. With Paul’s vacation the workload on his return was immense and every night he called me barely able to stifle his yawns.
He asked the same question every time we spoke. “Did you look into Oregon?”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I hadn’t and never had any intention of looking into Oregon. Instead I’d say, “I’m still thinking it over.”
“Try not to take too long,” he’d say. “A position like that will fill quickly.”
I wished it would go ahead and be filled so the option was off the table. I saw the appeal to it. I knew that it was a dream come true, but my heart was with Paul. I couldn’t stand the idea of living across the country and seeing him only every few months. It was hard enough now. What would two thousand more miles do to me?
On Thursday night he didn’t call. He didn’t call on Friday either. My attempts went to voicemail and he didn’t respond to any of my messages. I was beginning to worry and considered calling him at the office, but pushed that neediness aside.
That was why on Saturday afternoon, after I’d close shop at Faeries and Moonbeams and raced home to change before heading to the bar, my heart leapt clear out of my chest when I saw Paul sitting on the stairs in front of my apartment.
His smile was soft and I raced towards him, jumping into his arms. “Paul! Oh my goodness. What are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you for at least another few weeks. This is amazing.”
Paul gave me a tight squeeze. “There’s something we need to talk about,” he said and it was then that I noticed he didn’t have any bags.
“Are you just here for the day? Where are your things?”
“Let’s go inside,” he said, taking my hand.
I led him to my second floor apartment, feeling a little embarrassed by its size and clutter. “If I’d known you were coming, I would have tidied up a bit,” I said, grabbing clothes from the floor as I went.
“It’s all right, Mia,” he said, hovering by the doorway.
I turned towards him and smiled. “I can’t believe you’re here,” I said. “How did this happen?”
Paul walked over to me and brushed his fingers through my h
air, tucking it behind my ear. He smiled softly and gave me a gentle kiss on the mouth. “Did you contact Oregon?”
“Wh–what? That’s why you’re here?”
“Did you?”
“No, Paul,” I said, jerking away from him. “Why are you so obsessed with me moving to Oregon? Why do you want that for us?”
I retreated to my bedroom, not having any reason to go there, but needing to be away from this stupid conversation. Paul was in my apartment for the first time and we were talking about Oregon.
“I don’t want that for us, Mia,” he said, following after me. “I want that for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been searching for a job for months. You’re working long hours at two places that make you miserable. Admit it, they do.”
Instead of agreeing with him, I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes.
“Why don’t you want to take this chance? I found the application in my trashcan. I knew you weren’t going to apply. But Mia…why? This job could be wonderful. You have so much ahead of you and you’re wasting it here. For what?”
“For you! Because I want to be near you! Because you up and left and flew off to Florida without even considering me. So now I’m the one who has to find some way to get us back together again. Because you’re stupid and insensitive and don’t care about anyone but yourself!”
“That’s not how it is! You know that. I fucked up with Florida and every day I regret it, but I can’t sit by and let you waste this time for me. It could still work in Oregon. I could still see you. We could still be together.”
“No, we can’t,” I said, tears beginning to form. “I hardly see you now. There are days, Paul, whole days, that I don’t even speak to you. It’s because you’re over there and you have this whole life that has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Liza and God knows who else. What will happen when I have a whole other life too? When there is nothing to remind me of you? I love you and there is no way I’m going to Oregon.”
Mia Found (Starting Fires Book 3) Page 25