Until Forever (Forever and Always #14)

by E. L. Todd

  She was different. Slowly, she started changing into a different person. The mirror became her best friend. She looked at it more than she looked at me. Her face was heavy with makeup, and her eyes constantly glanced at those around her, eyeing what they wore and how they did their hair. She wasn’t the same.

  When I reached her apartment, she opened the door. She was wearing a tube top that showed her stomach. I could see the lines of her ribs through her skin. She lost so much weight drastically, and I feared for her health. I told her my concerns numerous times, but she shrugged them off.

  Now I stared at her belly-button, noticing something I hadn’t seen before. “You got your belly-button pierced?”

  She smirked then looked down. “Yep. You like it?”

  Actually, I thought it was sexy as hell, but that wasn’t the point. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I wanted to show you.” She touched the jewel hanging from her skin. “It looks awesome, right?”

  “I meant before you did it,” I said quickly. “I didn’t even know you were into piercings.”

  “Oh. Well, Shane wanted me to do it.”

  “So? If he told you to eat your own shit, would you?” I knew I was blowing up over nothing, but everything was changing too fast. I couldn’t handle it.

  “What’s your problem?” she snapped. “If you’re going to be in a pissed mood all night, maybe you shouldn’t go.”

  “I just don’t like it when you let someone tell you what to do.”

  “Like you?” she challenged.

  “You know what I mean.”

  She walked inside then grabbed her keys. She was wearing skinny jeans that were tighter than spandex and purple heels. Her hair was styled and big, and her face had more makeup than a clown. I missed the fresh look she had before. This was too much.

  Since she lost weight, her breasts were smaller. She moved down an entire cup. I loved her no matter what, but this was just unhealthy. But every time I objected to it, she ignored me.

  “Aren’t you going to grab a jacket?” I asked.

  “No. It’s hot.”

  So she was going out in a bra? I knew better than to argue with her.

  I took her hand and we left the building. She had a work party at a club and she asked me to go with her. I didn’t want to go, but I wanted to at the same time. If there were any guys there, I wanted them to know I was her boyfriend and I existed. Since she worked so much, I had to exert my presence somehow. I didn’t want one of the models to steal her from me.

  Guys cast glances at her on the street, but these looks were different. Lust burned bright in their eyes. I could actually see their perverted thoughts. When she dressed down and held herself in a classy way, men stared at her, but it was usually in awe and respect. Now she looked like a prostitute. I kept my mouth shut and controlled myself.

  When we walked inside, it was crowded with people. Judging by the beautiful women, I knew this party was exclusive. It was full of models for the magazine. And judging the good-looking guys, they were models too. I forced myself not to be insecure and clung to Monnique.

  She reached her girlfriends then shrieked loudly. They kissed each other on the cheek like they were from France then complimented each other’s outfits. One girl wore shorts that were practically underwear and a top that put her breasts on display.

  “Mon-Mon, you look hot,” she said.

  Mon-Mon? Monnique was too beautiful of a name not to be used.

  Monnique smiled. “Thanks. You do, too.”

  The other girls swarmed them and complimented each other. They were dressed just as slutty. Some of the girls were even skinnier than Monnique. They looked anorexic, unhealthy. I missed Monnique’s curves. She was perfect just the way she was.

  I waited to be introduced, but it didn’t seem like it was coming. I extended my hand. “I’m Cortland, Monnique’s boyfriend.”

  “Oh. Hi.” She shook my hand.

  The other girls did the same. I complimented their appearance and returned my hand to Monnique’s waist.

  “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” the girl with the tiny shorts said.

  That pissed me off but I didn’t say anything.

  “We’ve been together for a while, “Monnique explained.

  That didn’t make me less pissed.

  “Eww,” Short-Shorts said. “Who brought in the trash?”

  A girl stood just a few feet away, clearly overweight. She was about thirty pounds heavier than she should be, and her hair was pulled back in a lazy bun. Her face was free of make up.

  “Gross,” Monnique said. “Who would let that fatass in here?”

  My eyes widened at her words. I’d never heard her be mean to anyone. And she was being really catty.

  “It’s called Jenny Craig,” Monnique said loudly.

  Did she just say that?

  The girl’s eyes darted to Monnique and her friends, and then her face started to tint. I could tell she heard everything she said.

  “She definitely shouldn’t be drinking any alcohol tonight,” Short-Shorts said. “You don’t want that beer belly to get any bigger.”

  That was just fucked up. Was this really my girlfriend right now?

  The girl walked away and headed to the bathroom.

  Monnique and her friend both laughed loudly.

  I didn’t think there was anything funny about that.

  Monnique turned to me. “Get us drinks.”

  Get us drinks? Was I a servant now? What happened to “baby” and “please”? I held my tongue and did as she asked. I’d wait for a better time to tell her off. I headed to the bar but it was crowded with people. When I looked back at Monnique, they were talking to a few guys. I was forgotten. There was a huge line for the bar so I decided to hit the bathroom. I need a moment to calm down before I exploded anyway.

  When I reached the back of the building, I saw the girl leaning against the wall, tears streaming down her face. A man was talking to her, trying to calm her down.

  “Just ignore them,” he said. “They are bitches.”

  Her chest heaved. “But they are right…”

  “No, they aren’t,” he said firmly. He was much thinner than she was, and judging by his good looks, he was a model himself. “I love you exactly as you are.”

  She wiped her tears away. “I know I’m fat. You don’t have to lie to me.”

  “I like curvy women,” he said seriously. “If I wanted an anorexic girl like them, I’d just date a skeleton.”

  A slight smile appeared on her lips even though her eyes were red.

  I hated watching this conversation. Monnique ruined her entire evening just out of spite. I didn’t like it at all. I abandoned the bathroom and headed back to Monnique, unable to hold my tongue this time.

  She was in the middle of a conversation but I cut her off. “That girl is crying by the bathroom.”

  They all burst out laughing.

  “Maybe she’ll burn some calories.” Monnique laughed at her own joke then sipped her drink. I didn’t know who brought it to her, but it wasn’t me.

  A man wearing a tight shirt and jeans placed his arm over her shoulder. “Hey, costar.” He smirked at her like he knew her really well.

  “Hey, you,” she said back.

  My muscles clenched in irritation.

  “You’re looking hot tonight,” he said, eyeing her body without any manners.

  “Yes, she is.” I grabbed Monnique and pulled her to me. I stared him down, threatening to rip each limb off one by one.

  The guy stilled when he watched me. “Sorry, dude. Didn’t know she had a man.”

  “That seems to be a popular comment tonight,” I said bitterly. The comment was directed at Monnique.

  When I jerked Monnique away, she spilled some liquor down her shirt. “Cortland! Look what you did.”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s like a drop.”

  “Jerk,” she snapped.

  Her friend glared at me
then handed her a napkin.

  Monnique patted it dry.

  After that scene, all she cared about was her shirt? Seriously?

  “My muse!” Shane came to the group and clapped his hands. “My sculpture, my art.”

  Monnique completely changed her attitude. She smirked then spun around. “That’s me.”

  He laughed then kissed her on each cheek. I was ignored, like always. “I have a very special gift for you, darling.”

  “Oooh. I like presents,” she said.

  Everyone laughed at her comment like she was witty and smart.

  Shane raised his hand in the air and pointed at two men against the wall. Two lights suddenly shined on the wall, showing a large purple curtain. “Take it away!” he yelled.

  The curtains were pulled apart and three large portraits were revealed. One look at them made me want to gag. Monnique was in every picture, but she was hardly dressed. She wore black lingerie, the skin of her stomach and her ass showing. Her hair was big and sex-crazed. She looked sexy, but cheap and dirty at the same time. But the worst part of the picture was the dude placing his hands all over her, barely dressed. I recognized him. He was the one who hooked his arm around her shoulders. The idea of them spending time together and him having no idea she had a boyfriend got under my skin. I looked at every picture, feeling the pain and acid burn in my stomach. My girl was depicted as a whore. I wasn’t old-fashioned. I knew our world had changed considerably, but I never expected my girlfriend, the girl I wanted to marry, to fall to such a low level. She wasn’t classy. She wasn’t pretty.

  Monnique danced in the middle of the circle. “They are amazing, Shane.”

  “We look good together.” The guy winked at her.

  Was I invisible?

  “You are definitely my hottest girl,” Shane said. “First the photographs, then the runway, and then who knows?”

  She clapped her hands excitedly. “I can’t wait.”

  The music swallowed me. I watched everyone move around the room, downing drinks and dancing. Everyone was beautiful and good-looking. They all clung to their equals, deeming themselves better than everyone else. The wounded girl still cried by the bathroom, and Monnique danced in the circle, already drunk. They all looked at her like she was the star of the evening, the most important person in the room. I stood in the corner, blending into the shadows.

  I couldn’t take this anymore. I grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to me. “I’m leaving.”

  “Why?” She looked at me like I was crazy.

  “Because I don’t belong here,” I said bitterly. “And neither do you.”

  “What? I’m here with all my friends. I just got my first feature. And you’re making this all about yourself?” The venom was in her voice.

  “I’m not making this about myself! I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

  “Whatever, Cortland. You want to go back to your apartment and hang out with the only friends you have, fine. But I’m going to live my life and actually do something with it.” She left me without looking back. She returned to the circle and acted like I didn’t exist.

  I never left Monnique anywhere, but I left the building and walked out until I was outside. As soon as I inhaled the air of the city, the staleness and scent of beer, I felt a little better. I replayed all the images I just saw, and my heart convulsed in pain. I never felt worse.

  Instead of going home, I walked the streets of New York, going down roads I’d never been on before. I watched the couples walk down the sidewalk, hand in hand. Everyone seemed so happy besides me.

  I wanted to run but I had nowhere to go. I wandered to Ryan’s shop and saw all the lights off. I stared at my reflection in the windows for a moment before I sat down and leaned against the wall. People passed me and eyed me on the ground. A few people threw change at me because they thought I was homeless. Sirens screamed through the streets as an ambulance passed me. I stayed where I was until the darkest part of the night had passed and the sun started to rise. For the first time, I didn’t check on Monnique to see if she was okay. I didn’t go by the apartment to see if she got there safely. I was too depressed to move from my place on the ground, on the grime pounded into the concrete from the passing of shoes. I felt lower than dirt, insignificant, worthless. I felt alone.

  3

  Scarlet

  Sean had a client in his office when I arrived, so I stood outside and waited. I pulled out my phone and played a game, trying to find something to occupy myself. I’d visit Mike but he wasn’t there, probably getting lunch.

  Sean spotted me through the window then left his desk. He opened the door then reached me in a rush. “Everything alright?”

  I put my phone away. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch.”

  “Oh okay.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “I need to get back to my meeting.”

  “That’s fine. You don’t need to drop everything you’re doing every time I come to work.”

  He kissed me on the forehead. “That’s where you’re wrong.” He headed back inside. “I’ll be done soon.”

  “Okay.” I took a seat in the lobby then played with my phone.

  Ryan came around the corner, wearing a t-shirt with a hole in the armpit and dark jeans. It was good he had his own key card. Otherwise, security wouldn’t even let him in the building.

  I eyed him. “Janice burn all your clothes?”

  “No.” He looked down at himself. “Why?”

  “Because you look like a bum.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I deal with equipment and ink all day. You think I’m going to wear my good stuff so it can get demolished?”

  I knew this argument could stretch on all day. “What are you doing here?”

  “Cortland didn’t want to get lunch so I was going to ask Sean and Mike.”

  “Sean is almost done with a meeting, and Mike is already out.”

  He took a seat beside me. “How’d the divorce go?”

  I shrugged. “Heartbreaking.”

  He patted my hand. “I’m sorry.”

  “I didn’t realize it would bother me so much until we were actually there. Diane really seemed sincere. Maybe she changed.”

  “Some things are permanent, Scar. No matter what we do, we can’t erase our past. Sometimes we can be forgiven, sometimes we can’t. It just depends on the situation. If Andrew is unhappy with her, he shouldn’t force the relationship. If anything, time apart might be the solution. When you stay together for the principle of it, it could cause more damage than good.”

  “When did you become a philosopher?”

  He glared at me. “I may not be college material, but I observe people around me. I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”

  “I already give you too much credit.”

  “You’re lucky I don’t hit women.”

  “The same goes for you.”

  He shook his head. “Brat.”

  “So, how’s it going with Janice? Still battling to the death?”

  “We’re fine,” he said simply. “We need to plan the wedding all over again.”

  “She agreed?” I asked incredulously.

  “Oh, she will. I’ll beat her at her own game.”

  I cringed. “I don’t want to know…”

  “We’ll figure it out. We just need to get rid of a few unnecessary things.”

  “You’re lucky you two love each other so much,” I said.

  “What does that mean?” he asked.

  “Any other couple who fought as much would collapse. You two can persevere through anything.”

  “Damn right we can,” he said. “Breaking up isn’t an option and it never will be. I have no concerns about that.”

  Even though my brother’s relationship was a little odd, he was really sweet. The relationship and foundation they had was unique, but adorable at the same time. “I’m very happy for you.”

  “I am too,” he said with a smile. “Even though she’s a crazy bitch.” H
e laughed at his own comment.

  “But you like her that way.”

  “No. I love her that way.” He looked at his watch. “Tell Sean to hurry the hell up.”

  “He’s working.”

  “So? If you told him you wanted to get laid, he’d drop everything he was doing and make that happen.”

  “Well, I’m not going to trick him. Why doesn’t Cortland want to go?”

  He shrugged. “He said he already ate.”

  “He’s been quiet lately. I wonder if everything is okay…”

  “Something’s bothering him,” he said bluntly. “I tried talking to him but he won’t open up to me. I’m worried.”

  If Ryan was worried, I should be worried. “Do you think something is going on with Monnique?”

  “I don’t know. Have you seen her?”

  “Not lately. She seems pretty busy at work.”

  “She’s always busy with work, “Ryan said. His eyes widened. “Maybe that’s the problem. Cortland is probably getting sick of having a relationship with her answering machine.”

  “Maybe.” I wondered if there was more to the story.

  “Are you going to interrogate him?”

  “You know me, always sticking my nose in other people’s business.”

  Ryan laughed. “At least you admit it.”

  “I’ve never been ashamed to admit my faults.”

  He leaned back then rested his ankle on his knee. “The other day, we had lunch with Flynn, and Cortland was a total douchebag.”

  “Isn’t he always a douchebag?”

  “No, like literally. He was totally rude to the guy and treated him like garbage. He says he doesn’t trust him.”

  “That doesn’t sound like Cortland at all…”

  “I know it doesn’t.”

  “Maybe Flynn did something?” I asked.

  “He didn’t tell me what it was,” Ryan said. “It was just weird. Totally not like him.”

  “Should I talk to him about it?”

  “What do you think?” He gave me a pointed look.

  “It’s what I do best, huh?”

  “That’s an understatement,” he said with a laugh.