Tabitha

by Hall, Andrew

  ‘Alright, I’m sorry! Sorry!’ he pleaded, laughing all the while with a dopey infectious chuckle. Tabitha couldn’t help but smile. With a wave of his hand he led them on quickly towards the castle. He was wearing a thin cardigan over a creased shirt, and had longer hair than she was used to seeing on an old man. Pensioner grunge.

  ‘Sorry love, what was your name?’ he said. He squinted when he smiled.

  ‘Tabitha,’ she said, shouldering her rifle. ‘This is Laika.’

  ‘Pleased to meet you. I’m Jim,’ he replied, in a broad accent she couldn’t quite place. He shook her hand while Laika sniffed around him, tail wagging. ‘Jeez, your hands are freezing!’ he said. ‘And… metal.’

  ‘What?’ said Liv, looking at Tabitha’s hands. ‘I thought they were g-gloves. What’s that about?’

  ‘It’s a long story,’ Tabitha replied, exhausted. Laika came back to nuzzle her hand. At least her dog liked her cold grey fingers.

  ‘Well, I like stories,’ said Jim, leading them on towards the park gates and the castle beyond. ‘And we’ve got plenty of time to hear it, you know. Nothing else to do here.’ Liv smiled. Tabitha felt herself starting to relax a little. Her heart had stopped racing, at least.

  They reached the castle by a winding path of old stone steps, giving Tabitha a chance to see just how high and sheer the encircling outer wall really was. The stairs curved up around the hill and ended with an iron-barred gate in the castle wall, set into an old stone archway. A tall grim man with gaunt cheeks opened the iron gate for them to come inside the walls.

  ‘Tabitha, this is C-Chris,’ said Liv. ‘Chris, Tabitha.’ Tabitha smiled at him.

  ‘Alright,’ Chris grunted, closing the gate behind them. He didn’t seem too thrilled about Laika’s greeting either. He coughed dryly and watched them walk through. Tabitha glanced back at him. He looked… intense.

  ‘He’s like that with everyone,’ Liv muttered. ‘I’m still trying to w-work out why he’s such a knob all the time.’ Tabitha smirked. Jim led them across a small courtyard, up some steps to the square castle keep. The whole place was solid, simple. The keep tower stood in the centre, with grass and gardens around it. The thick stone curtain wall circled all of it, making a towering barrier against the world outside. It felt safe here; its own little world. The wall was wide enough for two people to walk along and watch the whole town from the hill top. With the iron gate closed in the archway, there was no way in other than climbing the high curtain wall. It was only eight or nine feet tall above the garden inside the grounds, but closer to a thirty-foot drop on the outside to the rocky hill below. Looking around the garden Tabitha saw that half the grass had been turned over to bare black soil, and shoots were starting to show.

  ‘Jim’s very proud of his allotment,’ Liv whispered to Tabitha. Jim was opening the solid wooden door of the keep to let them inside. ‘If you ever find five minutes to help him with his plants, it’ll mean the world to him.’ Tabitha smiled, and looked out over the garden. Birds were singing; water was trickling out through a stone font set into the rock wall.

  ‘Fresh sp-spring water,’ Liv boasted, nodding at the font.

  ‘Amazing,’ Tabitha replied happily, thinking about all the washes she could have. She’d never smelled this bad in her life; surely the others must have noticed it. Chris grunted and pushed past them, climbing the stone steps up onto the wall. He walked along the battlements, watching the town below for any sign of spiders. Or, he was just being antisocial. Tabitha wasn’t sure.

  ‘Will!’ Jim shouted inside the door, up at the roof of the keep. ‘It’s our driver, from the vintage car!’

  ‘You saw me coming?’ said Tabitha, as she and Liv headed inside.

  ‘And heard you,’ Liv replied.

  ‘Hard to miss you,’ Jim said brightly, welcoming her inside the keep with a sweep of his hand. ‘It was the only sound for miles.’

  ‘Oh my god,’ Tabitha mumbled, looking around inside the keep. Where she’d pictured dark stone walls and a long-gone roof, there were nests of blankets and sofa cushions, and a new ceiling just over her head.

  ‘This used to be a visitor centre, of sorts,’ said Jim, pointing out the tiny cafe kitchen over to the right. ‘It’s a shame the gas oven doesn’t work,’ he added. ‘At least there’s food in the cupboards though.’ It was so warm in here. A solid wooden table took up the centre of the room, surrounded by plastic stacking chairs. The other tables and chairs had been pushed to the walls to act like shelves, holding a random assortment of boxes and bags. A log fire blazed in the stone fireplace, filling the room with the sweet smell of burning pine cones. It was a home. A man climbed down the wooden steps from the floor above, looking like he’d just come from a festival. Wide smile, dreadlocked hair, and two gnarled scars down one cheek.

  ‘I’m so glad to meet you,’ he said, beaming. He shook Tabitha’s hand in both of his. ‘I’m Will. Or William, if you’re mad at me.’

  ‘Tabitha,’ she replied, aware of him looking down at her hand. She pulled it away.

  ‘Metal gloves?’ he said.

  ‘Skin,’ she replied awkwardly. He looked at her with fascination, but didn’t pry any further. She was grateful. Keen as she was to make a good first impression, she couldn’t hold in her pee for much longer. ‘Um… do you have a toilet here?’ she asked them.

  ‘Yep, just head back outside,’ Will said brightly. ‘There’s an outhouse around the far side of the keep there. It’s not an elegant setup, but it works,’ he said with a grin.

  ‘Thanks,’ Tabitha replied, smiling politely. She was glad to get out of the door for a second, just to avoid any more questions about the skin on her hands. She headed around the keep with Laika, through the garden and down to an ancient stone shed built against the curtain wall. Will was right; the toilet really wasn’t an elegant setup. The outhouse had a barred hole in the corner of the floor, with an old wooden seat built around it and a circle cut in the middle. Glancing down through the hole, Tabitha saw nothing but a long drop to the hillside below. Medieval drainage at its finest.

  Tabitha admired the garden as she walked back round the side of the keep. Laika was rolling on the lawn. Bees hummed sharply, swimming between the bobbing flowers. Tabitha stopped for a second to breathe it all in. Green grass at her feet, and the bright blue sky above. The smell of flowers and sweet summer haze. It was beautiful here, tucked away from the world outside. Chris stared at her from up on the curtain wall as she headed back for the keep. She met his gaze. Did he have some kind of problem with her? She didn’t want to call him out on it though. She’d only just gotten here, and she didn’t want to make any trouble. Tabitha did her best to ignore his cold hard stare. She headed back up the stone steps onto the small courtyard, walking back inside the keep.

  ‘We’ll be getting a stew on s-soon,’ Liv piped up, pulling a chair out for Tabitha at the table. ‘Now get your boots off, and I’ll fetch you some fresh s-socks.’

  ‘Would you like a cup of tea love?’ said Jim. He was already hooking an old black kettle onto the rail over the fire.

  ‘Oh god, yes please,’ Tabitha replied. How long had it been since she’d had a brew?

  ‘Is it too hot for you in here?’ said Jim. I realise we’ve got a fire going in the middle of summer.’ He nodded at the strips of bright sunlight in the walls, shining through narrow windows that used to be arrow slits.

  ‘Oh no, it’s just right,’ Tabitha replied, smiling politely. It felt like the cool stone walls drained a lot of the heat anyway.

  ‘The whole castle was a visitor centre,’ said Will, noticing Tabitha looking around at the room. ‘I was lucky I got up the hill here, when everything kicked off. And guess what was waiting for me at the top.’ He grinned at her, and showed off the twin scars on his cheek. ‘The gate where you came in was padlocked then. So, I had to climb up the archway over the gate and then up the curtain wall to the top, with one of those things trying to kill me!’

  ‘Good motiv
ation to get good at climbing,’ Jim chipped in from the fire, watching the kettle.

  ‘Absolutely,’ Will replied.

  ‘You climbed up that wall outside?’ said Tabitha, awestruck.

  ‘Adrenaline’s a wonderful thing,’ Will said with a grin. ‘It was either climb up that wall or get caught by the spider. No contest.’

  ‘So you were the first one here?’ said Tabitha, unlacing a boot.

  ‘I was,’ he said. ‘Lucky for me there weren’t any spiders inside the castle here, once I’d got over the wall. So, I started setting fires on top of the keep, and these three showed up a few days later.’ He took Tabitha’s boots and socks from her as she pulled them off. He carried them over to a bucket of water, tipped a little soap powder into it, and set about scrubbing them with an old brush.

  ‘Oh no, I’ll do that,’ said Tabitha, feeling guilty for them all suddenly slaving over her.

  ‘No, you’re our guest today,’ Will replied. He wrung her socks out, and hung them by the fire to dry. ‘There’ll be plenty to do tomorrow,’ he said brightly. ‘But today you’re having a rest. So I say make the most of it.’ Laika had no problem taking their hospitality. She was already settled down by the fire, gnawing a dog chew that Jim had produced from a plastic bag.

  ‘Keeps the wild dogs busy while you run for it,’ Jim said knowingly, tapping his nose. He popped a tea bag into a cup, and put in a good amount of long-life milk and sugar without having to ask. The new girl looked like she needed a good dose of both.

  ‘It’s so… civilised,’ said Tabitha, gazing around in awe. Liv came back down the wooden stairs with a dry pair of socks.

  ‘Well, I’m glad you think so,’ Will replied happily, setting down her scrubbed boots close to the fire. ‘We want it to be a little piece of civilisation here. A safe place to come to.’

  ‘Don’t you feel like you’re in danger though? With all the spiders in town?’ said Tabitha.

  ‘Well, yeah,’ he admitted. ‘But… you just live with it. People have always been in danger though, if you think about it. It’s our natural state, really.’ Will took a seat, and thought about it. ‘If you look at it, it’s only the last few hundred years where we’ve had it safer,’ he said. ‘Now we’re back in the Stone Age. But we’ve always had fire and the tribe to take our minds off the danger, and the dark. That’s why we’re staying here. It’s the safest place we’re going to find.’

  ‘The philosopher,’ Jim told Tabitha, nodding at Will with a grin.

  ‘Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome here,’ Tabitha replied. ‘I’m so glad I found this place.’ Will grinned. Tabitha thanked Jim for the huge mug of tea he set down for her. It was sweet, milky, and it warmed her insides like a fire in her soul. But it wasn’t just the hot water that felt warming. The aftertaste was unmistakable. ‘Jim, is there whisky in this?’

  ‘Could be,’ he said, with a cheeky smile.

  ‘Listen, d-don’t you be getting her drunk and suggestible, you s-sly old git,’ said Liv, taking a seat at the table. Jim laughed as he walked outside. Liv glanced at the new girl next to her. She looked exhausted; pale as a sheet. Tabitha looked up at Liv for a second with tired vivid eyes. She smiled, and looked back down at her mug on the table.

  ‘You look ready for a r-rest,’ said Liv gently, taking Tabitha’s metal-skinned hand in hers. Tabitha was surprised by the contact. She nodded silently, dipping her head as the tears came. Liv flashed a look at Will, and he obliged by following Jim outside and closing the door behind him. Once they were alone, a sudden sob heaved its way out of Tabitha’s chest. She pulled her hand from Liv’s, and leaned in to hug her tight.

  ‘Dread to think what the girl’s been through,’ Jim told Will, as they joined Chris on the wall.

  ‘She’s got weird hands,’ Chris observed, pulling his jacket collar close against the wind.

  ‘Well, I’m sure there’s a story there,’ Will replied. Tabitha’s muffled crying inside the keep filled the edge of their hearing. ‘She can tell us when she’s good and ready.’

  ‘How do we know she’s not got some weird alien infection?’ Chris replied. ‘Or the dog?’ it was a good point, thought Jim, but a cold one. He agreed, though he didn’t want to. They both looked to Will for an answer.

  ‘Something called trust,’ Will said sternly, fixing Chris with a stare. ‘Tabitha would say something if she was going to put us in danger.’

  ‘Do you really think so?’ Chris scoffed. ‘That’s not trust. It’s called being naïve.’

  ‘Look, I’d sooner think the best of someone new and be proved wrong, rather than just not trusting anyone,’ Will replied. ‘If we can’t trust our own kind then we’ve already lost this war.’ The wind blew around them in the heavy silence.

  ‘You still think there’s a war left to fight,’ said Chris.

  ‘Not this again,’ Jim mumbled wearily, as Will and Chris launched into another shouting match behind him.

  A little later the group sat talking around the table together inside the keep. Tabitha felt that tense, knotted fear inside her begin to loosen; a primal relief that could only come with safety in numbers. She looked around the keep for a moment while the rest of them talked, still amazed that a place like this could exist in the new world.

  ‘You’ve got spears propped up in the corner,’ Tabitha observed, as Jim brought over bowls of stew to the table.

  ‘They were up there on the wall when I got here,’ said Will. ‘Not sure how much use they’re going to be, but they’re better than nothing I suppose.’

  ‘They’re blunt,’ Chris grunted, shovelling stew into his mouth. Jim brought his own bowl of stew last, and sat down to join them. There was a sudden hush around the table, where the chatter gave way to eating and clinking spoons.

  ‘This is delicious,’ said Tabitha, breaking the silence.

  ‘Thank you,’ Jim replied proudly, as the rest agreed with full mouths. Tabitha scooped up another steaming spoonful of stew. It was thick and hot; a steamy orange mush of onions, carrots and potatoes. She devoured it, suddenly too hungry for polite pausing spoonfuls. She just had to hope that she was over her vomiting phase by now.

  ‘It was my better half’s recipe,’ said Jim. ‘It’s the celeriac that does it, I think.’

  ‘Ooh, celeriac?’ said Chris. ‘Bit exotic for you, Jim.’

  ‘Celeriac’s not exotic,’ Liv chipped in, picking something from her teeth with her fingernail. ‘It’s j-just that some of us know how to cook things other than ch-chips.’ Jim and Will were grinning. Chris glared at her angrily, and said nothing. Tabitha dropped her spoon with a clatter, and clutched her stomach suddenly. She jumped up from the table and rushed outside, hand clamped against her mouth.

  ‘Tabitha?’ said Liv, following her outside where she was throwing up.

  ‘The food’s not so good then,’ Chris joked.

  ‘Shut up Chris,’ Will warned him. Jim looked worried about what his cooking had done to the poor girl.

  ‘Every time I eat something,’ Tabitha sobbed outside. She wiped away the sick from her chin with a rough metal hand. Liv put her arm around her.

  ‘…Do you ever f-feel hungry?’ Liv asked her, rubbing her back. Tabitha shook her head, and wiped her snotty nose with her wrist.

  ‘But you still feel weak, like you’ve n-not eaten?’ said Liv. Tabitha nodded. Liv thought for a while in the silence. Tabitha sobbed and leant in to her shoulder. Liv opened her mouth to speak; hesitated.

  ‘Hun, what you were telling me about your heart and your b-blood… maybe your stomach’s changed too. Maybe you need to eat the kind of things that they eat.’ Liv only realised how bad that sounded after she’d said it. They’d both seen what the spiders ate. Tabitha hid her face away in her grey hands, and cried.

  ‘Oh God, I’m s-sorry,’ said Liv, pulling her close. ‘I’m so sorry.’ Beyond the castle wall, the birds sang in a sunny grey world.

  Liv insisted on taking Tabitha upstairs to the beds. Their sle
eping quarters were a Spartan set-up; old fold-out canvas sun beds, draped skeletal in throws and bed sheets. Liv opened the door of a storeroom in the corner, and sat Tabitha down on the bed inside. There was a narrow window in here, like the arrow slits downstairs, letting in the fading light of dusk.

  ‘I claimed this room to m-myself, away from the boys,’ Liv said proudly. ‘A lady needs her privacy.’ It was cosy in here; a snug space filled with cushions, blankets and books. Liv sat Tabitha down on the bed, and looked her ragged silver-stained clothes up and down.

  ‘Here hun, I’ve got a spare top if you’d like it,’ said Liv. ‘I packed it in a hurry when everything happened, so it might not be my best one. It’s clean though.’

  ‘I could do with something new to wear, thanks,’ Tabitha admitted, taking the crinkled t-shirt that Liv produced from a backpack in the corner. Tabitha looked down at her own dirty t-shirt and jeans. They were covered in holes and tears; browned with dirt and blotchy with silver bloodstains.

  ‘Thank you,’ Tabitha said gratefully, smoothing her new t-shirt out on the bed beside her. ‘You’ve all made me feel so welcome.’ Liv smiled, shrugged her shoulders. They could hear Laika climbing the wooden steps leading up from downstairs. A few moments later she came padding in, and plopped down beside Tabitha on the bed.

  ‘No, Laika,’ said Tabitha. ‘Off. You can’t come on here.’

  ‘It’s ok, I don’t m-mind,’ said Liv, stroking Laika’s warm head. ‘Just get some rest, ok?’

  ‘Would you mind explaining everything to the boys, please?’ said Tabitha. ‘It’s… I feel like a leper or something.’

  ‘Of course hun, if that’s what you w-want,’ Liv replied. Tabitha smiled a little.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, relieved.

  ‘And if they ask you anything awkward, you just c-come to me,’ said Liv. ‘I know how to k-keep them in line. Same if there’s anything you want to talk about. You come st-straight to me.’ Tabitha hugged her. ‘Now rest, will you?’