Tabitha

by Hall, Andrew

  ‘Of course you need to cry,’ said Tabitha, holding Natalie close. ‘And you don’t need to listen to Sylvia anyway. We’ve all got your back.’ Natalie smiled.

  ‘She must think she’s our mum, since she took us in and helped us,’ Natalie said quietly. ‘And don’t get me wrong, we’re glad she did. But… she’ll never be a mum to us. Our mum died. I don’t want Sylvia trying to replace her.’

  ‘No, I wouldn’t want that either,’ Tabitha replied. ‘I lost my mum too, when this happened. There’s no way I’d let anyone replace her.’

  ‘What did you do?’ said Natalie, wiping away her tears with her cardigan sleeve.

  ‘Skinned the bastard that did it, and stuck their body on the garden gate.’

  ‘Do you mean a spider, or a person?’

  ‘A spider,’ Tabitha replied. ‘But yeah, I imagine there’s some people out there who are just as bad.’

  ‘There are,’ said Natalie, with a haunted look. She wiped her eyes, and watched the kids play.

  That night the Ghosts slept on the floor in the lounge and kitchen, while the newcomers got the beds upstairs.

  ‘Bloody beans,’ said Chris, farting loudly in the dark living room.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ said Liv. ‘I’m t-trying to get some sleep, Chris. That’s disgusting.’

  ‘Well it’s not my fault all we eat is b –

  ‘Beans!’ Jim yelled, sitting up. ‘Every day you’re moaning about them! Shut up about the fucking beans!’

  ‘Jim, there are k-kids upstairs,’ said Liv. Tabitha felt Laika wake up beside her.

  ‘Oh I don’t give a shit,’ Jim growled. ‘They’ll be listening to me knock his teeth out if he carries on, never mind swearing.’

  ‘Really, Jim? Is that what you’re going to do?’ Chris said sarcastically.

  ‘Yeah it is, you little prick!’ Jim shot back.

  ‘Guys,’ said Will, trying to keep the peace.

  ‘Don’t fall asleep,’ said Chris.

  ‘You what?’ said Jim gruffly.

  ‘Don’t fall asleep.’

  ‘Or what?’

  ‘Or you might not wake up,’ Chris said quietly. ‘Lots of old men die in their sleep.’

  ‘Don’t you threaten me, you little bastard!’ Jim yelled, and jumped up into the room to punch the darkness where Chris was lying. Laika started barking.

  ‘Jim, it’s me!’ Tabitha protested, holding her hands out against his punches. Jim found out the hard way though, as his knuckles connected with her metal palms.

  ‘Jesus, I’m sorry lass!’ he said to the darkness, gripping his sore knuckles. Tabitha shushed Laika, pulling her back by the collar. They heard Chris laughing in the blackness of the room.

  ‘Excuse me,’ came Sylvia’s voice upstairs. ‘Could we keep it down a bit please, while the children are asleep?’

  ‘Sorry, of course,’ said Will. ‘Gents, go back to sleep or take it outside.’

  ‘Fine,’ said Jim, crashing into the kitchen table as he wandered about in the pitch black. ‘Come on then,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ Chris replied.

  ‘We’re taking this outside. I might even see you better out there anyway.’

  ‘…Alright, fine. I’m sorry,’ said Chris, hesitating.

  ‘No, we’re settling this like men,’ Jim insisted, opening the door to reveal a starlit sky. ‘No one tells me they’re going to kill me in my sleep.’

  ‘Go on, Chris,’ said Liv. ‘If you talk like a bitch, you’re going to get smacked like a bitch.’ Tabitha burst out laughing. Chris didn’t move from his bed. Jim walked back in with the dim glow of the moonlight to see by, and dragged Chris from the floor.

  ‘Get off me!’ said Chris, struggling. Jim dragged him on regardless.

  ‘Don’t do t-too much damage,’ said Liv. ‘I am not getting up to help you carry him back inside.’ Jim pushed Chris out of the keep, and shut the door behind them. The others heard their shuffling feet outside, followed by a shout and a fall. A few seconds later the door opened again, and Jim popped his head in.

  ‘Someone help me get him back in,’ he said quietly.

  ‘Jesus Christ, Jim!’ Liv yelled, jumping out of bed. ‘Is he bleeding?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Shh!’ said Sylvia upstairs.

  ‘Er, excuse m-me!’ Liv called up the stairs.

  ‘Liv,’ said Will.

  ‘No! I won’t be shushed in my own castle!’ Liv snapped indignantly.

  ‘Liv, I’ll get Chris,’ said Will. ‘Just calm down.’

  ‘Don’t tell m-me to calm down!’

  ‘I’ve got him,’ said Jim, dragging Chris back in through the door.

  ‘Is he bl-bleeding?’ said Liv, patting Chris’s scalp. It felt dry enough. Chris mumbled something as they lay him back down on the floor.

  ‘Well he’ll sleep tonight, the little tyke,’ said Liv.

  ‘Jim, can you do that every night? Before he even starts?’ said Tabitha. Liv and Will laughed and agreed.

  ‘I’m sorry lass, about hitting you,’ said Jim, mortified about it as he closed the keep door. ‘I thought you were Chris, I couldn’t see anything.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Tabitha assured him. ‘I didn’t feel a thing anyway. How are your hands?’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about them,’ Jim replied in the dark, grunting as he sat back down on his coat by the wall. ‘As long as you’re not hurt.’

  ‘I’m fine Jim, honestly,’ Tabitha said gently.

  ‘Right, can we all finally get some sleep now?’ came Sylvia’s voice down the stairs.

  ‘Will you shut up?’ Liv shouted at her. It sparked an argument between them at either end of the staircase.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ said Will, wrapping himself in a blanket and walking outside.

  ‘You look tired,’ said Liv, pouring Will some fresh tea at the kitchen table the next morning. He didn’t seem to acknowledge the gesture though.

  ‘Well, I slept outside last night,’ he replied wearily, rubbing his eyes.

  ‘Did you?’ she said, putting the tea pot back on the side. ‘I didn’t n-notice.’

  ‘Yeah, because you were busy having a shouting match all night,’ he replied, hunched over and sipping his tea.

  ‘Sylvia was being rude,’ said Liv defensively. ‘They’re our g-guests. Guests should be polite.’

  ‘They’re not our guests, Liv. They’re family now,’ said Will.

  ‘Well, even more r-reason to shout at her,’ Liv replied. ‘Families have rows, that’s what th-they do.’ Will sighed and sipped his tea.

  ‘Has sleeping beauty woken up yet?’ said Jim, coming inside from the allotment. Liv shook her head. ‘Jeez, I gave him a shiner there.’ He studied Chris’s black eye with a particular pride.

  ‘He’s not moved since,’ said Will, looking over at Chris. ‘Jim, I think you might have done him some real damage there.’

  ‘Well, he shouldn’t have said he’d kill me in my sleep,’ Jim replied in his defense, pouring himself a cup of tea.

  ‘Jim’s got a p-point,’ said Liv, sitting down beside Will.

  ‘Thank you, Liv,’ Jim replied, bringing his mug over to the table. He took a creaking seat with a weary sigh. ‘Well, with any luck he’s in a coma,’ he added. ‘At least it’d give us some peace and quiet for a few weeks.’

  ‘Jim!’ said Liv, laughing in disbelief.

  ‘Nope, he’s still alive,’ said Will, watching Chris stir and start to groan.

  ‘Well, I shouldn’t get my hopes up like that,’ said Jim, sipping his tea. They enjoyed the sunlight and the sleepy silence together for a little while; blows and tea slurps being the only sounds to break it.

  ‘So Jim, the er, project,’ said Will, after a couple of minutes’ silence. ‘All going to plan?’

  ‘All coming along nicely,’ Jim confirmed, sipping his tea.

  ‘This again? What bloody project?’ Liv snapped. ‘What are you t-talking about?’

  ‘Well, I
should probably get going,’ said Will dismissively, standing up and stretching. ‘Lots to do.’ Jim nodded, and got up and left Liv alone at the table.

  ‘What project?’ she demanded. ‘Why is it a secret?’ Jim coughed and headed outside. Will whistled innocently and walked out after him. Annoyed, Liv sat alone at the table and racked her brain.

  ‘What p-project?’ she mumbled, frustrated. ‘Grr!’

  The sun climbed in a pale white sky that just couldn’t muster the energy for a bright blue day. Liv and Tabitha stood on the curtain wall, watching the town beyond.

  ‘Sylvia just doesn’t talk to me. At all,’ said Tabitha.

  ‘I’ll happily trade p-places,’ Liv replied. ‘Every time she sees me, she’s got something else to n-nag me about.’ They could hear Jim in the garden behind them, telling the twins about his allotment. The kids were helping him to water it, though Robert was more interested in getting Laika to bite at the flow from the watering can. Paul and Natalie were sweeping the far end of the garden path, but they couldn’t help but watch the twins laughing. It’d been a long time since they’d heard them laugh.

  ‘I don’t think S-Sylvia trusts you,’ said Liv, shrugging. ‘You know me, I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. She probably just doesn’t like you very much.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ said Tabitha. She watched a vivid green fly buzz down and land on the wall, shining metallic in the sunlight. ‘I’ve never had anyone not like me before. Now I’ve got two, and I’m living with them.’

  ‘Well, it g-gets easier the more it happens, believe me,’ said Liv. ‘And if it’s any c-consolation, I don’t think she likes me very m-much either.’

  ‘She’s over there talking to Chris now, by the gate,’ Tabitha muttered.

  ‘He’ll have her hating the whole lot of us b-before long then,’ Liv said with a grin. ‘Crying shame.’ Tabitha felt her worry on the tip of her tongue. Better to just come out with it.

  ‘She thinks I’m going to turn into something,’ Tabitha confided. ‘Something that’ll hurt the kids.’

  ‘That’s crazy! She’s paranoid, that’s all,’ Liv said dismissively. ‘Ever since they got here, she’s b-been telling the kids don’t do that, it’s d-dangerous. She’s afraid of everything.’

  ‘I know, but she’s not just being weird with me because I’m different,’ said Tabitha. ‘It’s like she’s afraid of me. Like I’m going to flip and turn into a monster or something.’ Liv laughed.

  ‘She’s insane,’ Liv said simply. ‘Wait… you don’t believe her, do you?’ Tabitha shrugged her shoulders, and blinked away a tear. Liv looked at her then, and stopped seeing the woman who’d taken Will’s affections. She saw her friend crying.

  ‘God Tabitha, you c-can’t even think like that!’ Liv told her. ‘You’re the nicest person I know.’

  ‘But what if something changes, inside me?’ Tabitha replied, looking into Liv’s eyes. ‘I’m so hungry. What if I do need to eat …people? Like a spider?’

  ‘Don’t you d-dare talk like that,’ said Liv, pointing a finger in Tabitha’s face. She gave her a tight hug. ‘Your body’s just changed a little bit, that’s all.’

  ‘You sound like my mum when she was giving me The Talk,’ Tabitha chuckled, sniffling. Liv laughed.

  ‘Well, you’re practically t-turning into a superhero,’ Liv said gently. ‘Of course your body’s going to change a bit. B-But look at you, you’re awesome!’ Tabitha smiled. ‘Your appetite’s just trying to catch up with your new body, that’s all.’

  ‘Do you think so?’

  ‘I know so. Here,’ she said, producing a chocolate bar from her coat pocket. ‘This is my top-secret stash,’ she said, looking around to make sure no one was watching. ‘The last three pieces of chocolate l-left in the world, and I’m giving one to you. That’s how much I believe you’re not going to t-turn into a cannibal.’ Tabitha laughed through her tears. Liv snapped off a piece of chocolate and put it in Tabitha’s hand. ‘Now try and eat that.’ Tabitha watched Liv as she raised the chocolate to her mouth. She smelled cocoa, milk, sugar. The same old smells that she’d been hooked on, once upon a time. Every smell jumped out. Now the cocoa smelled bitter, like dirt. The milk smelled sour like rank cheese. The sugar, pure sickly-sweet. She would have stopped Liv eating this, the way it smelled to her. There was nothing wrong with it though, that was the thing; it was just ordinary chocolate. Liv mimed putting it in her mouth, to spur Tabitha on. Tabitha held her gaze, and put the vile thing in her mouth. She couldn’t help but cringe at the tastes on her tongue. She closed her eyes, breathed out through her nose, and chewed. The piece cracked and mashed and melted in her mouth, and felt big as a brick. An explosion of bitter, sour and sickly-sweet. She clenched her jaw to stop herself gagging. She gagged anyway, and then threw up her breakfast of water over the wall.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Tabitha mumbled, covering her dripping mouth. Liv looked pained and wanted to help her; Tabitha just wanted to get past. ‘I need to wash the taste out,’ she told her. ‘I’m sorry.’ Liv watched her run off down the steps, edging past Chris and Sylvia into the keep.

  ‘What’s wrong with Tabitha?’ said Natalie in the garden, watching her disappear inside.

  ‘She can’t eat, love,’ Paul said quietly, looking up from the stretch of path he was sweeping.

  ‘She can’t eat?’ Natalie repeated.

  ‘Not a thing,’ he said sadly. ‘All she can stomach is water, since she changed. That’s what Chris said, anyway.’

  ‘But if she can’t eat, isn’t she going to die?’ said Natalie, turning to him in panic.

  ‘I don’t know, love,’ he said quietly. ‘No one seems to know.’

  ‘We need to talk,’ said Chris, shutting the trap door at the top of the keep.

  ‘What’s on your mind?’ Will replied, as he studied the town below.

  ‘What?’ said Chris. Will turned to him. ‘You’ve never said “what’s on your mind” before.’

  ‘Have I not?’ said Will, puzzled.

  ‘Makes you sound like a manager,’ Chris said with a grin. ‘I think someone’s getting a leadership complex.’ Will could only think how easy it was getting for Chris to deserve black eyes these days. He was changing, and not for the better. Jim really had given him one hell of a panda eye, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

  ‘Just tell me what’s wrong, Chris,’ Will said impatiently.

  ‘It’s the food,’ Chris replied.

  ‘We’re running out,’ said Will. ‘I know.’

  ‘Yeah, we are,’ said Chris, looking intense. ‘Having twice as many mouths to feed, that’s going to happen. I want to know what we’re going to do when we run out.’

  ‘Well, we’re going to get some more food before the old food runs out,’ Will suggested.

  ‘Where from?’ Chris snapped. ‘I’m not going out on a food-finding mission. Not out there.’

  ‘Yeah, we know,’ Will replied. ‘We’ll go out and get some more. We’ll take our guns. You’ll stay here, as usual. Don’t worry about it.’

  ‘No, I am worried about it. I’m worried about starving to death.’

  ‘Chris, what’s this about?’ said Will, turning to face him. He’d never known someone to look so tense. ‘You’ve been acting weird ever since Tabitha got here.’ Chris looked at him and sighed.

  ‘Well, we had a good thing here, before she came,’ said Chris, smiling. It was a desperate smile. ‘There was just enough food to last us. And just enough space. Now look at us. We’re a pissing hotel. Kids running round screaming, dog shit all over the place, no proper bed to sleep in… and soon we’ll have no bloody food left either.’

  ‘Look Chris, this isn’t just your home,’ Will told him. ‘It’s open to as many people who can fit inside it. It’s a bloody castle, mate. Alright, it’s not a very big one, but it’s big enough. And as long as everyone pulls their weight, we’re not going to run out of food.’

  ‘But there’s only so much space,’ Chris c
ountered.

  ‘You just don’t see this place for what it can be,’ said Will, shaking his head. ‘This is a place where we can thrive. When there’s enough of us and we’re strong enough, we might even fight back and take the town. And then you can have all the bloody space you want.’ Chris went to say something, and changed his mind. The breeze ruffled his hair.

  ‘It was better before,’ Chris muttered, reaching for the trapdoor.

  ‘Before what?’ Will asked him, not seeing his point.

  ‘Before her.’

  26

  It was a quiet day; a day for jobs. Paul and Jim talked motorbikes all afternoon, weeding the rest of the garden at an easy pace. The twins were playing fetch with Laika. Liv watched Tabitha’s back from the curtain wall as she worked outside the iron gate, making a round of the hill to check for spiders or spot anywhere they could get in.

  ‘So, do you know anything about this secret project?’ Liv asked Tabitha quietly, as Tabitha headed back inside the curtain wall.

  ‘Project?’ Tabitha replied, smiling as she closed the gate.

  ‘The one Will and Jim k-keep talking about,’ said Liv, locking the gate bar with a clang.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Tabitha said brightly, still smiling. ‘Would you like a brew?’

  ‘So you’re in on it!’ Liv accused her, following Tabitha back up the courtyard. ‘What is it?’ she demanded, jogging up alongside her.

  ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Tabitha said innocently. Liv stamped her foot and growled up at the sky, and stormed off to find Natalie to press the investigation.

  Meanwhile Sylvia went snooping around upstairs, and emerged with a book from Liv’s bedroom to read with the twins in the garden. Chris tried his best to make awkward conversation with Natalie on the wall, until they spotted Liv coming over. Natalie saw her chance to get away, and told Chris that she had to help Liv with something.

  Will watched over his growing family from the top of the keep, and smiled to himself. He couldn’t help but take a bit of selfish pride at the sight; this place had been so dark and dead when he’d first got here. He took one last look over the garden, and headed back down through the trapdoor to get to work in the kitchen.