by Joey Bush
CHAPTER 8
Eventually we couldn’t stay out on the mountain any longer; we were starving, and as the sun started to go down in the west, it got colder and colder. We joked about keeping each other warm, but we knew that there was no way to avoid having to go back to the house. Our parents would start worrying, and that would completely defeat the purpose of our cover story, of even having a cover story. I put my arms around Jaxon’s waist as he drove us back to the mansion on the snowmobile, and I could feel myself tingling all over. It was dangerous—and we’d have to be on our best behavior once we got back—but I couldn’t help myself. It was like tumbling out of an aerial; once you committed to the jump, you were going to come careening back to the ground and nothing would stop you. Jaxon was the ground I was about to hit.
Mom and Bob had no idea of anything wrong; as soon as we got to the door, I stopped Jaxon. “There’s nothing between us, remember?” I said. Jaxon hesitated a moment before nodding.
“Right,” Jaxon said. We went in, all smiles and friendliness, but nothing more than that. Mom asked us right away how our riding was.
“Must have been decent conditions on the slopes for them to be out all day,” Bob pointed out. Our parents were curled up in front of the fire, and I couldn’t help but note the fact that my mom had gotten newer clothes as a result of her new-found wealth as a rich man’s wife; she was clothed head to toe in comfy, casual designer-type clothes that made her look like a kind of Stepford wife. It was weird, but at the same time I liked seeing her so happy, seeing her looking more comfortable in her own skin. Jaxon and I took up positions on separate ends of the den, avoiding looking at each other. My heart was pounding while I told Mom about the snowboarding, sticking to the objective facts and pretending like I’d barely even noticed Jaxon’s presence on the slopes.
I heard Jaxon telling his father about his day, too—and doing the same thing I was. I couldn’t help but shoot him a grin when both of our parents were distracted by talking about what we should have for dinner; he grinned back. The moment anyone was paying attention to us, though, we were just as disinterested in each other as ever. “I’m gonna go get a shower,” I said, standing up quickly. “Before dinner, I mean. Don’t want to get my grubby hands all over the nice, clean table cloth.” Bob laughed.
“Jaxon’s never had a problem with that—he’ll eat covered in mud if he has to.” I laughed and backed out of the room, smiling as much as I could.
The shower felt great; plenty of hot water, with three shower heads at different heights soaking me from head to toe in an instant. I closed my eyes and sighed happily, relaxing. As uncomfortable as the situation was at the mansion, I had to admit to myself that there were certain perks to staying there. As I stood in the hot water, I couldn’t help but think about Jaxon. How hot he was, how attractive he was. The way he smiled at me. My thoughts went back to the time we’d had sex together. My hands began to wander over my body while I thought about the sight of Jaxon naked. It was only too easy to remember the way that he’d touched me, the way he’d felt me up, rubbing and stroking me on the couch in the middle of the frat house.
I teased myself a little bit; I couldn’t help it. The memory of Jaxon inside of me, the feeling of his cock, turned me on too much. I knew it was stupid; I couldn’t have him, I couldn’t even do anything about it—but I also couldn’t make myself stop it. I teased my nipples, I slithered my hands down along my body until I came to my pussy. I tried to mimic what I could remember of his touch on my clit, closing my eyes in the steam and water. I tilted my head back, biting my bottom lip as I got more and more turned on. I could feel my pussy getting wet, drenching my fingers, my inner muscles tightening in need. It wasn’t quite as good as Jaxon had been, but it was good.
“Mia! Dinner’s done! Come out to the table and don’t use up all the hot water!” I was jolted out of my fantasy by the sound of my mom’s voice on the other side of the bathroom door. Shivering, I leaned against the tiled wall. I was buzzing all over, every nerve in my body awake. But if I spent too much longer in the shower trying to get myself off, my mom and new stepdad would no doubt get suspicious. I took a deep breath and finished up, washing my hair and turning off the water. I changed into new clothes and got my hair as dry as possible.
Everyone was already at the table when I left my room. Mom and Bob were, as usual, completely involved in one another, talking about something they wanted to do when it got warmer—a cruise or something they wanted to take. I glanced at Jaxon; his eyes lit up at the sight of me, and I realized I’d unconsciously picked out an outfit that—while it wasn’t exactly sexy—showed off my assets pretty well. I shrugged, flashing a little smile at him while no one was looking before I took my seat at the table. Dinner was great: roast beef and mashed potatoes with gravy, asparagus and garlic bread. After the all-day snowboarding marathon I was more than hungry enough to dig in. I’d lost my sense of nausea when it came to Jaxon’s presence; I was feeling too tingly, too fluttery, too interested in him to be repulsed by his presence.
As I sat there at the table, responding to Mom’s or Bob’s questions, pretending to mostly ignore Jaxon other than the most basic polite interest in what he had to say about his classes, I felt my phone vibrate. Knowing how my mom felt about phones at the table, I slipped it out of my pocket underneath the table and checked it, expecting it to be from someone at school, or maybe one of my friends from high school. You just had to wear that shirt… the message read. It was from Jaxon. I felt my cheeks burning with a blush and coughed to cover up my shock.
A shirt’s a shirt, I wrote back as quickly as I could, not wanting to call attention to myself. I realized that it was the same shirt I’d been wearing the night that Jaxon and I had had sex and my blush deepened. My phone buzzed again and I took a bite of my roast beef to cover my look at the screen.
A shirt’s not just a shirt when all I can think of is getting it off of you. I tried not to smile. I looked up and responded to something Mom was saying; some question that she was asking me. I wasn’t even thinking about what she’d asked—and realized that I’d set myself up for some sort of stupid family game night activity. Oh well, I thought. It would be easier to avoid temptation if we were spending the entire night around our parents.
Your thoughts are your own problem, I typed as fast as I could, adding in a smiling emoji. Not very brotherly to be thinking of taking off my clothes… I slipped my phone back into my pocket. I didn’t know whether I wanted Jaxon to make a move on me—and take care of the deep-down tension I felt—or if I wanted him to go back to ignoring me completely. It had been so nice on the mountain, laughing and having fun, relaxed, just like it had been before. But we couldn’t do anything. I knew that—and Jaxon knew it too. My phone vibrated. I waited a minute or two to check it, knowing without even having to look that the only person it could be from was Jaxon. The more we both looked at our phones the better the chance would be that one of our parents would notice it. My phone vibrated again.
You always such a tease, Mia? The first message read. I’m not like the guys in Tau Delta. I snorted as quietly as possible. No, Jaxon was nothing like the guys in Tau Delta. They hung on my every word, staring at me while they helped me with Bio homework.
You’re right, I wrote back. The guys in Tau Delta didn’t just randomly stop helping me in class. Mom was going on about what game we should play—if it should be Monopoly or a card game, something like that. “If we play a card game, I want to partner with you, Mom,” I said, not glancing at Jaxon. It wouldn’t help either of us if we were partnered up in whatever game our parents decided to spend the night playing. It’d come out way too easily that we already knew each other; and then, if that came out, our parents would want to know why we’d kept it a secret, why we’d lied. And there was no good reason other than the truth.
We finished dinner and went into the den, where Bob brought out a bunch of game boards at my mom’s insistence. My phone buzzed against my leg and I felt my
cheeks burning, but I made the excuse of needing to use the bathroom to answer it without being seen. The guys in Tau Delta haven’t seen you naked, either. I rolled my eyes, smiling in spite of myself. I licked my lips and tried to think of what I should do. I shouldn’t be encouraging Jaxon, I knew. I should shut him down, end the whole thing. We were brother and sister now.
Well, I wrote. You got to see me naked and then you got all weird on me, so you’re not going to see me naked again. I pressed my lips together. Besides, I saw you naked, too, and you don’t see me drooling all over the place. I added a few emoji to the message and sent it.
Throughout the night, my phone would buzz and I’d look to see it was from Jaxon; somehow he’d managed the knack of texting without being seen—even I didn’t catch him actually writing the texts. We both pretended to mostly ignore each other as we went from one game to another with our parents—card games where I partnered up with my mom, board games where I insisted that we play only as individual players and not as teams. Mom got out a bottle of wine and poured me a glass right alongside herself, Bob, and Jaxon. “If you can’t have a little nice wine in your own home on holiday, what has the world come to?” I was underage, but somehow that didn’t seem to matter. Mom knew that I drank on campus, though she didn’t know specifically what parties I went to; she joked with Bob about the first time she had talked to me on the phone while I had a hangover. “She was so obvious,” Mom said, laughing. “She hadn’t puked but she had that hung over voice, you know?”
“I don’t get hangovers anymore,” I said, with more than a little pride. My phone buzzed and I took a long sip of my wine while I sneaked a peak at the screen. Never forget who helped you train not to get hangovers. It was accompanied by a winking emoji. I set my glass down.
I figured it out on my own, thank you very much. Back and forth, the texts flew between us, little sub-conversations surrounding what was really going on. Mom and Bob were so wrapped up in each other that they didn’t notice anything at all amiss between Jaxon and I. Somehow we both managed to keep up our conversations with our parents, occasionally making comments to each other, innocent as can be. I was excited and anxious at the same time; texting with Jaxon, occasionally flashing a smile at him when no one was looking, it had all the flavor of forbidden fruit; but I knew that there was nothing I could really do. I knew that if anyone ever noticed just how cozy we were underneath the pretend-game of not really knowing or caring about each other, they’d know in an instant there was more going on.
It was lucky for both of us that Bob and Mom were totally into each other, cheating to benefit each other when we were partnered up, sharing little inside jokes, touching each other. My stomach gave a lurch as I realized that it was possible that Mom might get pregnant by Bob. I might have a half-sibling in common with Jaxon. I prayed to myself—without knowing who I was praying to—that it wouldn’t happen. I didn’t think I could ever deal with that.
The night gradually began to wind down and Bob and Mom started talking about heading in to bed. After a full day of snowboarding, I was bone-tired and more than ready to go to sleep. I finished off my wine and snagged some of the leftover snacks that the housekeeper had brought out. Mom kissed me on my forehead and Bob patted Jaxon on the shoulder, and then they were walking away, down the hall and up the stairs to their room.
“I’m gonna catch the highlights of the Jets game and hit the hay,” I said, smiling slightly. Jaxon shrugged.
“Be my guest.” I went back into my room and turned on the TV. I plugged my phone in next to my bed and pretended to myself that I didn’t want to see it light up, hear it buzz with another flirting text message. I waited up, wondering what Jaxon was doing, wondering what he was thinking about. Whether he was thinking about me. I could feel the low simmer of heat deep down in my hips. I had been steadily turned on since the shower, for hours, sitting just far enough away from Jaxon to keep it from blowing up to full-blown need, but close enough to keep it going.
I felt like I was playing with fire—that excited feeling of dread that you get when you know you could get really, really hurt, but it’s so interesting that you can’t quite make yourself stop. I wanted to be able to keep flirting with Jaxon, but I didn’t want it to lead anywhere. I wanted to see him naked again, but I couldn’t handle the thought that he was—technically, by marriage—my brother now. It was so incredibly fucked up, but so incredibly exciting that I couldn’t make myself stop even when I knew it was going to crash and burn. I wanted Jaxon to keep texting me, but I knew if he did it would be too much temptation. Before the holiday was over, we’d end up one of us in the other’s room, and that could only cause problems.
After an hour of watching highlights and listening to the same old commentaries on the game, I decided that I should just go to bed. I was tired and I was clearly not going to hear from Jaxon again at all that night. I tried not to feel disappointed. After all, I knew for a fact that nothing could happen between Jaxon and me. And on top of that, after a full day on the slopes, Jaxon was probably just as tired as I was. I figured we’d play the same game the next day—keeping our attraction to each other away from our parents’ notice, pretending like we only had a passing interest in each other as new step-siblings. Maybe we’d get a chance to get out and play some basketball, or hit the slopes for a few hours again. Eventually we’d have to deal with what was going on; but for now, we’d just have to cope as best as we could. I turned off the TV and curled up in the bed, shaking my head at the stupid coincidences that came up in my life.
CHAPTER 9
By the time I’d decided to go to sleep it was easily about midnight. I lay in bed for a long while, waiting to fall asleep even as my mind spun around and around and around on the subject of Jaxon, my mom, and Bob. I was just beginning to doze off, when I heard a rustle by the door, and then the squeak-click of the doorknob turning. Light shone into my room as the door opened, and I sat up and turned on the lamp next to my bed.
Jaxon closed the door to my bedroom behind him and for a long moment all I could do was stare. Jaxon was in nothing but a pair of boxers, his hair still damp from a shower. I hadn’t forgotten how hot he was but the sight of him put my memory of his attractiveness to shame. “Jaxon,” I said, confused and surprised and incredibly turned on all at once.
“Mia,” he said, smiling faintly. “You didn’t lock your door this time.” I slipped out of my bed and crossed the room, even as Jaxon moved to meet me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and felt his hands drop to my hips; I was tingling everywhere, and finally touching him gave me a mixture of relief and the need for even more. I turned my head to try and kiss him, but Jaxon pushed me away gently, leading me over to the low couch that hugged one wall of the room and sitting me down. “First we have to talk.” I knew what Jaxon wanted to talk about; I started to shake my head. I didn’t want to discuss our parents being married, the whole stupid mess we were in. I just wanted him. But I knew that we’d have to have the conversation sooner or later, and now was as good a time as any. Everyone else was in bed, we wouldn’t be overheard, and no one would know what was going on — not even the guys in the frat or anyone at our school.
“Okay,” I said. “Fine. Say what you need to say.” Jaxon took a deep breath and sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry I went all weird on you,” he said first. I shrugged.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve moved on.” Jaxon shook his head.
“I should have probably told you what I knew; it was shitty of me. I wasn’t being a good friend.” I pressed my lips together. I’d accused him of as much—both to his face and in my head.
“Okay. What did you know?” Jaxon made a face.
“Up until we had sex all I knew was that my dad was dating someone—totally nuts about her, a way he hasn’t been since my mom. I didn’t really pay any attention to it because…well, you know. I swear when we had sex I had no idea it was your mom.”
“I’d hope you’d at least t
ell me if you knew. Mom didn’t tell me like, specifically who she was dating. I think she thought it might jinx it. Just that her new boyfriend was awesome, had a great house, all that stuff.” I gestured to the room around us. “Gotta admit she wasn’t wrong about the great house.” Jaxon smiled weakly.
“Same with Dad, at least at first. His new girlfriend was great, really got him, fantastic in bed…” Jaxon made a face. “Anyway, after we had sex, like that night or the next morning, he called me and told me that he’d popped the question. I was kind of shocked.”
“I was pretty surprised to find out mom was married, she didn’t even tell me at all about it until I got here.” Jaxon shrugged.
“Anyway, I told him it was crazy—and that I didn’t even know anything about her, that he’d only been dating her for a couple of months. He sent me her picture and told me her name. It didn’t really take me long to put two and two together.” I nodded slowly.
“So you knew then.” Jaxon smiled slightly.
“Yeah…I knew. And I freaked out. I mean—you were about to be my sister. It was weird.”
“You could have told me, you know. Pretty easy. ‘Oh, hey, so Mia, did you know our parents are about to get married?’ It isn’t hard.” Jaxon snorted.
“Yeah, I know. I should have been up front with you. I was a total asshole about it.” I smiled.
“I guess if you’re going to admit it I can’t stay mad at you about it.” Jaxon echoed my smile.