Black Forever

by Victoria Quinn

  Calloway struck me again, harder than ever before.

  That’s when I broke. “Green…”

  The belt hit the floor, and Calloway dashed for the suspension cables. With a quick movement of his hands, he lowered me to the floor and got the rope free. My wrists came apart, and I could barely hold my weight steady on the ground.

  Calloway moved to the other side of the room and kneeled, his head tilted to the ground. He kept his eyes down and didn’t utter a single word. His chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing, the sweat dripping down his back and chest. He looked like a statue, a hero carved out of marble.

  I moved to the ground and lay on my side because my ass was too sore. It was hot and inflamed from the bite of the leather. I pulled my arms to my chest and let the tears continue to streak to the floor. I wasn’t crying because the worst was over, but I was trying to manage the pain in my silence. That cream Calloway had would probably help. “Get me that cream you used last time…”

  Calloway did as I asked and dashed out of the room. He was only gone for thirty seconds before he returned to the room with the jar. He placed it on the ground then stepped back again, being careful not to touch me or come too close to me.

  “You can touch me, Calloway.”

  He stared down at me, remorse obvious in his eyes. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes…”

  He kneeled beside me and rubbed the cream into my bright red skin. He was as gentle as he could be, showing none of the aggression he possessed just an instant ago. He applied his fingertips to the damaged areas with a tenderness I’d never seen before.

  I lay there on the hardwood floor, still naked and now a little cold.

  He placed the cap back on the jar then carried me from the playroom into the bedroom. He got me under the sheets and tucked me in like it was time to go to sleep. It was only six thirty, and we hadn’t even had dinner yet. “I’m gonna make some dinner. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” He moved his hand through my hair, his eyes no longer hot with unfulfilled desire. Now he looked at me just the way he did when he told me he loved me, with beautiful sensitivity. He kissed me on the forehead before he left.

  Calloway set the bed tray in front of me, pot roast with a side salad. He gave me a tiny portion because he knew I wouldn’t have much of an appetite. There was a glass of ice water and wine as well.

  He sat at the edge of the bed and stared at me.

  I sat up and looked at the food. “It looks good…” I wasn’t hungry because I was in too much pain. The cream helped, but only time would heal the abrasions on my skin. “Are you going to eat too?”

  “Not hungry.”

  I ate just to be polite, appreciating the gesture he’d made. He turned into an animal when he had me as his sub, but once the moment was over, he was a man again.

  Calloway stared at his hands, moving his palms across one another before he faced me once more. “Are you going to leave me?” His voice remained steady, but he couldn’t stop the fear from entering his eyes.

  I lowered the fork, stunned by the question. “No, Calloway. Never.”

  He took a deep breath and stared at his hands again, the relief obvious in the way his shoulders relaxed. His square jaw stiffened too. “I’m sorry…for hurting you.”

  “It’s okay.” It was hard to understand how he truly meant those words. After all, he got off on hurting women. Maybe there were different levels, and our experience was too extreme. “I hope I didn’t disappoint you.”

  “Never.” His hand reached for mine on the bed. “As long as you try, that’s good enough for me.” He brought my hand to his lips and placed a kiss over my knuckles. “Thank you for using the safe word. I only wished you used it sooner.”

  “Thought I could handle it…”

  “It’s something we have to learn together, your hard limits.”

  “Yeah…”

  He pulled his hand away so I could keep eating. “Is there anything I can get for you?”

  “No, I’m okay.”

  He stared at the ground again, remaining silent as I finished my dinner. His thoughts were a mystery, but his mood was obvious. He was angry, but I knew he wasn’t angry with me. He probably hated himself for taking me so far when I was still a beginner.

  “Calloway?”

  “Hmm?” He wouldn’t look at me, focused on his mood.

  “It’s really okay.”

  He shook his head, his jaw clenched. “I enjoy hurting you. I love listening to you cry. My cock has never been harder as it was in there. That makes me a sick son of a bitch, and I know that. The second you said the safe word and I knew you were really in pain…I felt lower than I ever have. I didn’t feel any pleasure. I just hated myself.”

  I hadn’t finished my food, but I decided I would eat it later. The conversation seemed too heavy for dinner.

  “Rome, I wish I were different. I wish I could be a normal guy. I wish I didn’t need this…”

  “I know.” I believed his sincerity with all my heart.

  “I’ve never cared about pushing the others until their breaking points. I’ve never cared about their well-being. But I love you…and it hurts when I hurt you. I can’t explain it. I love hurting you as a Dom, but I hate myself for it later.”

  I placed the bed tray to the side and pulled my knees to my chest.

  “I wish I could change. But I tried once before, and it completely backfired. I don’t think I can be different…”

  “That’s fine, Calloway.”

  He turned to me, anger mixed with surprise. “How can you say that? After all your hesitation for the last six months?”

  “Neither one of us is ever going to change,” I explained. “But we can certainly compromise with one another. Now I know I never want to do that again, at least at that intensity. But we can do other things instead.”

  He shook his head with a new look in his eyes. “You’re incredible…you’re brave. If you told me you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t have had the audacity to stop you.”

  “But I don’t want to leave because I love you.” Our love didn’t make sense on a logical level. Half of Calloway’s essence was exactly what I wanted in a man. He was generous, kind, and selfless. But the other half was a man I feared. “I’m glad that I came back to you and gave this another try. I was closed-minded and scared, but once I fell into the moment with you, I began to understand. I do enjoy it, Calloway. I do enjoy the way you hurt me and then fuck me afterward.”

  The previous remorse slowly drained from his face, replaced by a fire of longing.

  “I just can only tolerate so much. You don’t need to change, Calloway. We just need to give each other what we need. That’s all.”

  He nodded in agreement. “You’re an incredible woman. I’ve always thought that, but now I think it even more.” He scooted closer to me on the bed until his thigh touched my hip. He looked at me with his beautiful blue eye and his messy hair. He was still shirtless, but now he wore sweatpants. “Thanks for not running.”

  “You’re the last person I want to run away from.” I cupped his face and kissed him slowly on the mouth, feeling my heart love this man even more. I should be upset and offended by the events that had happened in his playroom, but seeing him love me and worship me so fiercely made everything worth it.

  His hands wrapped around my wrists, and he kissed me harder, his tongue moving with mine. It wasn’t long before he was moaning into my mouth, enticed by the feel of my lips against his. “Can I make love to you, sweetheart?”

  I ignored the discomfort still on my cheeks because my body and heart craved the man staring back at me. I wanted more of those kisses, more of those touches. My hands fell to his shoulders, and I dug my nails into his skin. “Please.”

  17

  Calloway

  “What are you doing in here?” I walked into my office at Ruin and spotted Jackson behind the desk.

  “I left some condoms in here…” He searched through the drawer and sh
oved pens and notepads aside. “Can’t find them anywhere.”

  “You probably used them all.”

  “I don’t think so…” He opened another drawer until he found the foil packets. “Ah…here we go.” He hit the drawer shut and stood up. “I’m going to get some good use out of these bad boys.” He waved them in my face as he walked past. “But have fun doing paperwork and shit.”

  “I don’t have to use condoms with my woman.” I took his place in the chair. “And I already had my fun before I came over here.”

  “So she’s still a good sub?” He sat in one of the armchairs facing my desk.

  “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

  “She can wait.” He shoved the packets into his pocket. “Things are still good?”

  I wasn’t going to tell him how I’d mistreated her. It would make me look like an ass. My brother already thought the worst of me, but I didn’t want to broadcast it. “We’re happy, yeah.”

  “Well, Isabella just turned in her membership yesterday, so I guess she’s long gone.”

  That was the best news I’d heard all week. I leaned back in the chair and didn’t bother hiding my sigh. “That’s great news. I’m tired of her whiny bullshit.”

  “She was a big attraction here for the other Doms. You would know. You were obsessed with her at one point.”

  It seemed like a lifetime ago now. “That was a mistake. I never should have gotten involved with her on such a serious level. Lesson learned.”

  “And yet…you’re doing the same thing with Rome.”

  “Not the same thing,” I argued. “I love her.”

  Jackson raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.”

  I didn’t feel an ounce of shame. Jackson could tease me all he wanted. I didn’t give a shit.

  To my surprise, he didn’t make a smartass comment. “About time you fessed up to it. It’s been written on your face all year.” He hopped out of the seat and patted the pocket where he kept his condoms. “Well, I’m off to do what I do best. Give my future sister-in-law my best.” He opened the door but didn’t walk out. He looked at me over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised.

  I had no idea what the look meant. “Yes?”

  “I thought you tell me to fuck off or something at that last comment.”

  “Why? It wasn’t offensive.”

  Jackson walked back inside and shut the door. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  “I don’t know, Jackson. I have no idea what you’re saying to begin with.”

  “You’re thinking about marrying her?”

  “I’m not thinking about it,” I said. “I know I want to marry her. I just don’t know when.”

  “Whoa, hold on.” He raised a hand in the air like I needed to hit the brakes. “You’re for real right now?”

  “The woman lives with me, in case you haven’t noticed. She’s my sub as well as my lover. Marriage is the next step, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, but…wow.”

  I rolled my eyes because this conversation was getting old. “Get out, Jackson.”

  “No, I’m happy for you. You know I really like Rome. I just…I honestly never pictured you getting married.”

  “Things change.” Rome had made the biggest compromise to be with me, and I didn’t take that lightly. Every bone in her body was against the arrangement, but she did it because she didn’t want to lose me. I knew Rome wanted romance, marriage, and kids. If she gave me that, I could give her this. “But I’m not marrying her tomorrow, so there’s no reason to get excited about it.”

  “Too bad. I already am.”

  I let Senator Swanson drone on over the phone about the donor banner he would like to have presented at the veterans’ dinner. He was so specific about how he wanted it to look that I wasn’t sure why he didn’t just take care of it himself.

  And kiss his own ass while he was at it.

  Once I got off the phone, my assistant spoke into the intercom. “Mr. Owens, Isabella is here to see you.”

  I was just about to open an email when I stiffened in agitation. Just when I thought that pain in the ass was gone, she turned up again. She told Jackson she was leaving Ruin, but perhaps that was just a ploy for some attention.

  Jesus Christ, she was annoying.

  I never should have been monogamous with her. I never should have decided to commit to her even under the understanding it wasn’t forever.

  Because she obviously felt otherwise.

  I couldn’t ignore her and let her stay in the lobby. Isabella would either wait until the end of the day, or she would make a big scene in front of all my employees.

  I hit the button. “Send her in.”

  Isabella walked in a moment later, a sneer of anger on her face. She wore skintight jeans and a black top, looking like she’d stepped out of Ruin mere minutes ago. Her hair was long and straight, just the way she usually wore it.

  I wanted to strangle her.

  Choke her to death.

  I fucking hated her.

  She was a damn bug that wouldn’t disappear. “Can I help you, Isabella?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, looking like the devil’s mistress. “Nope.”

  I rested my hands together on the desk and kept my cool even though I had no idea what was going on. She was awfully confident after being rejected by me so many times. She seemed to think she owned this office—owned me.

  What was I missing?

  “Is there something you wanted to discuss?”

  “Nope.” She didn’t move.

  Now I was really freaked out. Isabella didn’t come here to talk. She didn’t have any purpose for being here at all. So what was she up to?

  Something evil, no doubt.

  I rose out of my chair so I could grab her by the arm and escort her out.

  Isabella reached into her purse and pulled out a gun, pointing it right at me. Her hand didn’t shake as she aimed the barrel right at the center of my chest.

  I stopped in my tracks, eyeing the madwoman with a gun pointed directly at me.

  “Sit down, Calloway.” She pointed with the gun toward the chair before she trained it on me again. “I don’t want to shoot you, but I will.”

  Even though a loaded gun was pointed right at me, it didn’t scare me. What I was truly frightened of was the circumstance. She obviously didn’t come here to kill me. If that was her intention, she would have done it already. Her goal was to keep me in that chair.

  She stepped forward and brought the gun closer. “Sit.”

  I slowly lowered myself into the chair, never blinking because I needed to witness her every move. I placed my arms on the armrests and gripped the wooden edges, wishing I had the gun so I could shoot her between the eyes. “Isabella, what are you doing?” If she thought she could intimidate me, she was wrong.

  “Just sit and be quiet.” Her hand didn’t shake as she pointed the gun at my forehead. “Do what I say, and you’ll get out of this alive.”

  “Get out of what?” I demanded. “What the hell is going on, Isabella?”

  “What did I just say?” She stepped closer to the desk, bringing the gun even closer to my head.

  “You gave that cunt my ring.” Now the gun began to shake, not out of fear but heartbreak. “It was mine! I wore it for a year, and you just handed it off to someone else. It’s like I never meant anything to you.”

  Normally, I would insult her, but she had a gun pointed at my head. I was stubborn but not stupid. “Isabella, let’s just calm down for a second…”

  “No! How could you prefer her over me? What does she have that I don’t?”

  “Nothing.” I wasn’t inflating her ego. That answer was true. “She doesn’t have anything over you, Isabella. My heart chose her. I can’t explain it better than that. It doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough.”

  “Sure seems that way.”

  I raised my hands gently. “Isabella, let’s put the gun down a
nd talk like adults, alright?”

  “No.” Her finger tightened over the trigger.

  I glanced at the phone beside me. There was no way I could call 9-1-1 before she popped five bullets into me. I wasn’t sure if she would really kill me, but her hand hadn’t shaken the whole time. And if she was crazy enough to come into my office and point a gun at me, who knew what else she was capable of. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “You don’t need to worry about it.”

  Isabella didn’t need money, so I doubted this was some kind of robbery. She was obviously trying to keep me in the office and away from the rest of the staff. She was cornering me away from the rest of the herd, but she didn’t want to kill me. So what did she want?

  And then it hit me.

  “Rome.” I jumped to my feet. “What the fuck are doing to her?” I moved around the desk, knowing Isabella was just a distraction. Someone else was getting to Rome while I sat on my ass at my desk. She was in far more danger than I was, even with a gun pointed at me.

  Isabella maneuvered into my way and pointed the gun right at my heart. “Don’t call my bluff, Calloway. I don’t want to hurt you, but I certainly will.” She shoved the gun into my chest, letting the metal strike me right in the muscle. “Now shut the hell up and sit down.”

  I eyed the door, trying to think of a way I could escape.

  Isabella shook her head. “You’re probably already too late, Calloway. No use being killed over it.”

  18

  Rome

  I had a packed schedule for the afternoon. I needed to head downtown to the mayor’s office to discuss opening a new homeless shelter at the edge of Fifth and Broadway, and then I needed to go down to City Hall for approval. In addition to that, I still had a report to write, finish up a project with Chad, and I hadn’t even touched my inbox.

  Even though it was exhausting, I loved being busy.

  I loved feeling like I was doing something.