Blaze

by Gwendolyn Grace

  I heard the rumble of Blake’s car approaching. He always had a thing for muscle cars, especially if it was a Chevy. He’d pick that up from my Dad who loved to work on car engines as a hobby when I was growing up. After he retired from his job as a ferry operator, he decided to open the only auto repair shop in town. Blake was going to school to be properly trained as a mechanic and to eventually become a business partner and help run the shop.

  When Blake came to a stop in front of me, he flashed a grin as he climbed out of the car, and I noticed the passenger side was empty.

  “Hey!” He smiled wide as he walked to me, my feet already moving toward him.

  “Hey!” I squealed and jumped into his embrace. Blake’s arms were around me instantly as we spun in a circle. He put me down and took a step back to look at me.

  “Wait, I think you forgot something.”

  “I did?” Confused, I looked down at the jeans, knee-high boots, and navy fitted pea coat I was wearing and over to the suitcase at my side.

  Blake reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a long box. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”

  My eyes were glued to the little blue box as he opened it. Inside was a silver necklace with a little diamond pendant. It was beautiful and sparkled in the morning sun. “Blake! It’s gorgeous!” I hopped up and down before throwing my arms around his neck. I had never been given anything so pretty.

  “Every girl should get a diamond for her eighteenth birthday,” he said against my ear before lightly kissing my cheek. It was enough to send my senses into overload, so I took a step back and allowed him to fasten his gift around my neck.

  “I love it! Thank you,” I said, admiring my new favorite piece of jewelry.

  “You ready to go?” he asked while reaching for my suitcase. “Just one, huh? I’m impress—” He stopped speaking as he tried to lift the heavy bag I’d stuffed to the maximum. “Jesus, what do you have in here?” He grunted as he carried the case and placed it in the trunk. “I would rather you had packed two bags instead of only one. How the hell did you carry it?”

  “Well, it rolls, so it wasn’t so bad. Hey, I was proud of myself for getting everything into one suitcase.” I shrugged, to which he only grinned and shook his head.

  Once we were both settled in the car, Blake cranked up the engine and we roared away from the dock. He tossed a little black pouch at me, and I unzipped it to find a plastic bag of weed and a couple of thin cigars.

  “One for the road.” He flashed me a dimple as I got busy rolling.

  The summer before, I’d caught him smoking in the woods behind the house. Instead of ratting him out, I’d offered to keep my silence if he’d let me try it. He was reluctant at first, but I knew he didn’t care much for the alternative: a long discussion with my straight-laced, no-nonsense dad. After that, it became our thing. We would sneak into the woods almost every night, light up, and talk for hours. He would tell me about his school friends and their antics, or sometimes courses he was struggling with. I would tell him about new stories in my head that I would never have the guts to put on paper. He would encourage me, and in turn, I would encourage him.

  Sometimes, we would lie on the ground and look up at the sky, not speaking at all. I would let my hand drift over to his and pretend to accidentally brush the back of his knuckles. Other times, he would lay his head on the top of my thighs, complaining that his shoulders were sore from his work out and would ask me to massage them. This was us, and we’d always preferred being alone together rather than with other people. We were loners in that way. It was our place, our time, and no one else was welcome.

  Blake and I were headed to Pennsylvania, floating together in a cloud of comfortable, smoky silence while listening to the radio. I loved that it was just the two of us on the long ride, and it reminded me of the question I was dying to know the answer to.

  “So, why didn’t your girlfriend come with you?”

  He turned a lazy, half-baked gaze to me and shrugged.

  “Blake?”

  “We broke up.”

  “Oh? That’s too bad,” I said, although I was jumping for joy on the inside. I was looking forward to having him all to myself for the next twelve hours. My Christmas wish had come true.

  ****

  Of course, Blake made the drive in less than eleven hours. We turned down the road that led to the cabin that had been my family’s Christmas destination. Maggie’s parents purchased it when she was young and it was the place we all gathered once a year for the holidays.

  Blake pulled to a stop in front of the house. Every time I saw the chalet style cabin in the mountains, it took my breath away. The wraparound porch and the view of the lake in the distance was well worth the long drive. In the winter, the cabin looked like it was sitting in the clouds. The weather was calling for snow, and I couldn’t wait. Being an island girl, I loved the sun and sand, but there was just something about spending Christmas in a winter wonderland that felt right to me.

  The chill hit me immediately after I opened the car door, so I pulled my coat tighter around me and helped gather our stuff from the trunk. Blake used his key to unlock the door. The inside was as beautiful as the outside. There was a large, open sitting area with a sectional sofa and two brown leather recliners. It was the center of the house. The place we’d all spent many hours watching old black and white movies as the snow fell outside. There was a massive kitchen off to the left with a small table, an eight-burner stove, and two ovens, a necessity for our family feasts. And the formal dining room was off to the right, our battle ground on board game nights. The loft upstairs housed a pool table and a mini bar.

  Blake and I split up in the foyer and went to our usual sleeping places. I set my stuff down in the smallest bedroom with two twin beds I sometimes had to share with Aunt Bridget while Blake went to the pull-out couch in the loft.

  Hours of convenience store junk food had taken its toll. Soon we were both rummaging through the cabinets in search of real food for dinner. All we came up with were cans of soup left over from our last visit. Canned soup and stale crackers had never sounded more unappealing.

  “Come on, Tay, let’s go out and get something to eat,” Blake announced, to my relief. A few minutes later, we were driving down the road back to town. It was dark out and the moon was bright. Tiny flecks of snow dotted the windshield as we pulled to a stop in front of a cozy restaurant we’d eaten in many times before. Once we settled into a booth in a far corner, a young waitress who looked to be in her teens took our order as she cast quick glances over to Blake. I knew exactly why she blushed every time he looked her way as he spoke. It was hard not to appreciate how devastatingly gorgeous he was. My fingers ached to reach out and touch the soft brown hair that fell over his forehead. The matching stubble on his jaw was equally as soft, that I knew from sneaking subtle touches during our nights in the woods. Sometimes I couldn’t believe he was the same boy I’d first met six years ago, until those deep blue eyes found mine, and my heart skipped a beat just as it did when I was twelve.

  “So, do you think it’s going to snow pretty hard?” I asked as I shifted my attention from him to the window. The sidewalks had a light dusting, which meant we would have a white Christmas. It was one of the reasons I looked forward to coming here during the holidays. The weather never got cold enough for snow on the island.

  “Nah. Just a few inches.” Blake plucked the straw from his cup and tossed it aside before taking several gulps of his soda. I stared at him while I contemplated asking him about Lucy. I needed to know where things stood with them.

  “So, what happened with you and . . . what’s her face?” God, it was hard to even say her name out loud, so I pretended not to remember it. It was almost as if it made her a real person, and I wasn’t ready to accept that. The whole thing hurt a lot more than I thought it would.

  “Lucy.”

  “Yeah. Her.”

  “We broke up,” he stated simply then looked away.


  “I know. You said that already, but why?”

  He shrugged.

  “Blake? I’m serious. What happened?”

  “I answered you. I don’t know. She was supposed to come with me to the cabin but started some whiny bullshit last night about not wanting to be stuck in a car for twelve hours. She said some things, I said some things back, and then she hung up on me. I still went to pick her up this morning, but she didn’t answer the door or her phone, so I left.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” I offered halfheartedly because it seemed like the right thing to say, but inside, I was jumping for joy. No witch-faced girl would ever be good enough for my Blakey.

  Chapter Five

  When the waitress brought our food, Blake immediately grabbed the offending pickle from my plate and took a bite while I slid the bottle of ketchup in his direction. We just knew each other that well.

  “So, at that point, I was probably going at least one hundred miles per hour . . .”

  “A hundred!” I gasped and put my hands to my cheeks. Blake was telling a story of a recent street race in Charleston.

  “Psh, that was nothing.” He waved a hand and took another gulp of his soda. “The highway was pretty empty except for a couple of cars in the right lane. The Nissan moved into the left lane, and I took the middle lane. We both took off solid. This guy’s car was fast as fuck, but I’d also upgraded some parts on the Nova.” He went into complete gear-head mode and began to spew a lot of numbers, something about horsepower, and a bunch of other car things I really had no clue about. Judging by his enthusiasm, he considered it something to be proud of.

  “Somehow, I shot past him, and I could see his headlights in my rearview mirror. Just as we were coming up to the mile marker we’d agreed upon, a cop appeared out of nowhere. He spotted me and turned on his lights. The Nissan was still on my tail, and I was hoping that he slowed down for the cop so I could get away, but no. The fuckin’ guy kept going. I bet he was hoping I would slow down first so he could escape.”

  “Wait, you were running from the cops, Blake?” My eyes must have been bugging out of my head as I pictured the scenario: an almost empty stretch of highway after midnight with two cars traveling a hundred miles an hour with a cop’s flashing lights in hot pursuit.

  “Damn right I ran. I was already fucked. I couldn’t afford any more points on my license. The Nova would be impounded, and my ass would be in jail for sure.” The look in his eyes was something I’d never seen before. It was the look of a man with racing in his blood. The rush seemed to outweigh the danger.

  “I tried as best I could to get away from the Nissan, but the cop was on us like stink on shit. I couldn’t shake him, and traffic was picking up ahead as we got closer to the city. My heart was beating out of my chest when I decided that things had gone too far. About to give up, I cut to the far-right lane just as an eighteen-wheeler was coming up the on ramp. I passed in front of it and slowed as I hit the exit. The truck must have blocked the way because the cop’s lights flew past and followed the Nissan that was still on the highway. I couldn’t fuckin’ believe it.” Blake slammed a hand down on the table excitedly.

  “What? Oh my God! The cop didn’t come after you?”

  “No, but I thought for sure he would, so I pulled into a busy night club parking lot and killed the lights. I hid out for an hour before I snuck out with the bar crowd. When I got to my place, I expected the cops to be waiting. I had no idea if he’d gotten my plate information but nobody was there. That shit bothered me for a week, though. I didn’t even drive the Nova. I ended up bumming rides from a couple of my buddies. The whole thing had me shook. It was so dumb. I will never do that again.” His intermittent chuckles as he told the last part of the story grew so contagious that I found myself belly laughing along with him.

  “That is insane, Blake. I mean, wow.” I wiped tears from my eyes.

  “Tell me about it.”

  His entire face was bright red from laughter. I loved to see him so lighthearted, and in my opinion, it was when he looked the best—unguarded and authentic. It was what drew me to him when I was twelve. The cute boy who was sitting at the back of the almost empty school bus, occasionally grinning at something he was reading. Every day, I tried to find the closest seat I could without actually sitting next to him because, God, how embarrassing would it be to sit in the same seat as him? Still, I wanted to know what he was reading and why it made him smile. Then one day he lifted his head and directed that same smile at me. I had no idea what I had done to receive such a gift, but that was it. He’d hooked me.

  My first crush.

  After we’d finished eating, I made a quick trip to the restroom, and when I returned, I overheard the waitress speaking to Blake.

  “Does your girlfriend want a box for her leftovers?” I fully expected Blake to correct her but he didn’t.

  “Yes. I’m sure she’ll want to take that with her. Thanks.” The waitress nodded, set the check down, and then stepped away. When I sat back down at the table, Blake smiled at me as he reached for his wallet. I eyed him suspiciously, wondering why he didn’t tell the waitress that I was his sister. The dimple on his cheek became visible as he pursed his lips together while counting the cash in his hand. I’d always loved that dimple.

  “You ready to go?” he asked as he stood, snapping me out of La La Land.

  “Uh, yeah.” I nodded and slid out of the booth, falling in step beside him as we exited the restaurant. The ground outside was completely covered with snow with a good two inches covering all the cars parked along the street, and it was impossible to see the sidewalk.

  When I took a step forward, my foot slid from under me and I grabbed on to Blake’s arm to keep my balance. Instantly, he was there to catch me, and I took advantage of his solid frame to steady myself.

  “Careful,” Blake said as he firmly grabbed me around the waist. “Yeah, those boots might be fashionable but not useful in actual snow.” He chuckled.

  I reached down and grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at him. He immediately let go of my arm and reached down to gather ammunition to fire back at me. I did my best to get as far away from him as my impractical boots would allow without busting my ass on the hard ground. A burst of cold snow hit the back of my head and settled into the collar of my coat.

  “Blake!” I screamed and turned around to see him gathering more snow, so I did the same. I did my best to pelt him with as much as possible to delay his efforts of making gigantic snowballs that sometimes had the power to knock me off my feet on impact. The streets were empty besides a few people leaving the restaurant and a small convenience store at the corner, and I knew we were causing way too much commotion for this quiet section of town.

  My fingers burned, and my thighs were completely frozen by the time I decided to abandon the snowball fight and tackle him instead. I managed to push him enough so that his feet lost traction and he fell into the snow-covered grass, pulling me down with him. Laughing, we landed together with a heavy thud.

  “Okay. Okay. I give up,” I gasped. “I can’t feel my fingers.” A gust of cold air blew up the back of my short coat that didn’t provide much protection. “Or my ass.” I was still lying on top of Blake when his hands instantly went to my backside where he began to rub, trying to warm my numb cheeks.

  “Like I said, fashionable but impractical.” He smirked and I couldn’t look away from his face. Those ocean blue eyes were always my undoing. My gaze traveled down his features, and I couldn’t resist moving my hips under his hands. I watched the smile leave his lips. It felt like our faces were getting closer, or maybe I was imagining it.

  We both jumped when a car alarm sounded behind us. I turned my head to see that it was Blake’s car lighting up and making loud noises. He quickly sat up, dug into his pocket, pulled out his keys, and then hit the button that silenced the alarm. I shifted off him and stood there shivering, although I didn’t think the snow had much to do with the rea
son my body was shaking.

  “Let’s get in and warm up,” Blake said as he grabbed my hand and we got into the car. He cranked up the heat, turned on the radio, and pulled away from the restaurant.

  Neither of us initiated conversation on the way back to the cabin, and I was grateful. All I could do was replay the last few minutes in my head and how I almost embarrassed myself by kissing him. I also wouldn’t have been able to handle his rejection, although I knew it would be justified.

  The closer we got to the cabin, the heavier the snow fell. Soon, it was hard to see more than a few feet in front of us as the wipers swished rapidly to clear away the quickly falling snow. After walking into the cabin, we discovered that the power was out. Blake walked to the breaker box and tried the switches but was unsuccessful at getting anything to turn back on. It wasn’t much of a surprise. We’d occasionally lost electricity out here during snowstorms due to a collapsed power line from a fallen tree limb or someone spinning out on the icy roads and crashing into a pole.

  “I’ll get a fire started,” Blake said before heading outside to the wood pile on the porch. After making several trips, he used the logs he’d gathered to build a fire. I curled up on the floor with my feet under me as I silently watched him work. Once the flames began and he was satisfied with his creation, Blake set aside the poker and replaced the screen. “It should warm up in here soon.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

  “Mom just messaged me and said they decided to turn back to the city but will drive up tomorrow after the snow has stopped.” I nodded and slowly started taking off my coat.

  “Are you all right, Tay?”

  I nodded again without looking up as I undid the last button before tossing the coat onto a nearby armchair. So many emotions were running through me that I couldn’t express what I was feeling. I was ashamed, and my heart ached for what could never be.

  “I’m sorry,” Blake said as he ran a hand through his hair and started pacing.