Blaze

by Gwendolyn Grace

  Annette’s Catch was never closed, even for the holidays. Sea Whisper Island appealed to a lot of loner personality types. Part of the draw was its isolation from the rest of the world. Those who had nowhere to go were grateful for the low key and welcoming atmosphere, as well as the huge feast the Fox family provided.

  Harley had been staying with Fox while my dad and Maggie were visiting. She’d been working extra shifts at the restaurant to stay busy. I knew she was uncomfortable, especially with all the grieving that was going on, and honestly, I envied her ability to escape it all.

  I found Blake napping on Harley’s bed. He’d disappeared hours before into the woods, but I didn’t see him come back to the house. When I checked our usual spot, he wasn’t there. Harley’s room was the only place I hadn’t looked for him. After stepping inside and quietly closing the door behind me, I slid onto the bed. His body immediately relaxed against mine as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

  “Hey.” I placed a kiss on the back of his neck. He stirred in his sleep but didn’t move. “Blakey, wake up.”

  “Tay?” He yawned and turned around in my arms and drew me close.

  “You have to get up. It’s almost dinnertime.”

  “Not hungry.” He nuzzled into my neck. I knew that losing his grandmother had affected him also. Unable to come up with any words to help him through the sadness, I decided to lie there and lightly rub his back, hoping he could feel my love for him with every brush of my hand. When his breathing grew steady, I knew he’d gone back to sleep, so I let myself drift off with him.

  A light tapping on the door woke me. The sun had gone down and there was a faint blue hue over the room as the moon glowed threw the closed shades. There was a light tapping again followed by the creaking of the door. When my father peered through the opening, his face transformed from surprise to confusion.

  “Tayia?” he called out in a low tone. I decided the best way to behave was to act like we hadn’t been caught doing anything wrong.

  “Yeah, Dad?” I answered, keeping what I hoped was an innocent expression on my face.

  “We, um, Maggie and me . . .” He opened the door fully then shifted from one leg to the other. “We’re thinking about going to Catch for dinner whenever you kids are ready.” Blake’s body jerked awake at the sound of my dad’s voice and he turned his head toward the direction of the door. Slowly, he began putting distance between us as my arms loosened around him.

  “Sure, Chris, that sounds good,” Blake said in a strained voice. “We’ll be downstairs in a few minutes.”

  My dad nodded his head and began to turn away before spinning around again. “Is everything okay in here?” His eyes narrowed at us. “Anything I should know about?”

  I instantly sucked in air and held my breath. This was it. Now was the time. The moment I had been waiting for. To finally confess my love for Blake to our family.

  “Dad, I—”

  “No, of course not,” Blake interrupted and laughed nervously as he sat up. “Tayia came in and saw that I was upset about Grandma . . .” When his voice trailed off, my father filled the silence.

  “Yes, yes, I see. Well, Charlene will certainly be missed.” He stared into the distance reflectively. “I suppose it would be good for everyone to get out of the house for a little while. We’ll see you both downstairs in a bit, hmm?” He turned and disappeared into the hall, leaving the door wide open. As his footsteps faded down the staircase, I turned to Blake with fury.

  “What the hell just happened?” I whisper-yelled.

  “We almost got caught. That’s what,” he whisper-yelled back as he stood and immediately started pacing in front of the window. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

  My insides began to grow cold. “I thought we were going to tell them, Blake. You promised.”

  “Are you insane right now, Tayia? After everything that’s happened? Do you really think now is a good time?” The reality was that it probably wasn’t, but would there ever be a good time?

  “So, what are you saying?” I asked as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “Are we just not going to say anything to them?” Blake ran a frustrated hand over his face then through his hair but didn’t answer. His unspoken words revealed the truth I knew deep down inside. He never planned to say anything.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  “Come on, Tay. My grandmother just died. My mother is a wreck.”

  “I get it,” I called over my shoulder as I walked to the door. I knew the timing was horrible, but selfishly, I still wanted him to stick to our plan. To want what we have together despite it all.

  “Jesus, why does everything have to be about this?”

  “You mean us?” I spun around. “Why does everything have to be about us?”

  His eyes held mine, and I knew he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words. He loved me. I was certain of it, but there was always something standing in our way. Our family, Lucy, and even the town we lived in. It wasn’t his fault that we just weren’t meant to be. It was time I accepted that it was impossible to be together.

  “It doesn’t have to be about us, Blake. Not anymore.”

  When I left the room, my lungs felt like they were going to explode as I held back tears of disappointment and despair. Every part of me wanted to resist, to fight against the inevitable, but it was a lot harder to do that all by myself.

  Shouldn’t he be fighting for us, too?

  Chapter Fifteen

  “I don’t know how somebody can just lie like that and not think they’re gonna catch on fire.” Ms. Annette tsked with a hand on her hip, examining the jukebox.

  “What’s wrong, darlin’?” Mr. Hal asked as he walked up to stand beside her.

  “This dang thing was supposed to be fixed.”

  “Let me take a look . . .” Her husband stepped forward to help but was interrupted.

  “No, no, I’ve got this.” She punched a few buttons on her cellphone and put it to her ear. “Hoyt Abernathy! This is Annette Fox. Yeah, the one you just swindled three hundred bucks out of.” She paced the floor and waved her free hand around as she gave the man on the other end an earful.

  “Uh huh. Yes, it’s plugged in. You think I’m some kind of ninny? What? Where . . .? Back here? Oh, I see.” She reached behind the jukebox, flipped the switch, and instantly the machine lit up. Ms. Annette's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as Mr. Hal shook his head at her before walking away. “Well, I’ll be. Yeah, uh, sorry about all that. Come in tomorrow and I’ll fix you one of those bacon and egg sandwiches you like so much. On the house. Okay, Hoyt. Merry Christmas, ya hear? Bye bye now.”

  My dad, Maggie, and Grandpa were seated at the table near the Christmas tree quietly dining while Blake sat at the bar sipping something brown in a small glass with ice. He and I hadn’t spoken since we left the house. I rode in the car with our parents and he drove himself to Catch. I knew my dad was suspicious, though he never said anything. I wasn’t sure if I was grateful for his silence or frustrated by it. It was hell keeping the secret inside sometimes. How could something so obvious and undeniable go undetected by everyone else? I had half a mind to tell our parents anyway and worry about the consequences later. The only drawback would be that it would force Blake’s hand. Once everything was out in the open, he could no longer deny what we had, and I didn’t want him that way. It had to come honestly and from his heart. That was the only way it would be right.

  As the commotion died down, Jonna’s mother moved to chat with my dad and Maggie. Harley refilling my water glass brought me out of my thoughts.

  “Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. Why don’t you sit down and have something to eat?”

  “Nah.” She shook her head and looked around but didn’t move. I sensed that something was up with her.

  “Is everything all right, Harley?” I asked, knowing that she probably wouldn’t confide in me, but was surprised when she motioned with her hand before spinning around and disapp
earing onto the deck.

  When I stepped outside, her back was to me as she stared out at the water. As soon as I reached her side, she let out a long sigh.

  “I’m not one to get into your business, but seeing as we live in the same house and all . . .” She looked over at me and twisted her mouth in contemplation. “Okay, I’m just going to ask it. What’s going on between you and Blake?”

  “Whaaa . . . what?”

  “You know what I mean. All the time you two spend together doesn’t go unnoticed. Did you forget that you confessed to me that you had a thing for him?” She raised an eyebrow and I winced. She knew more than anybody else the secrets that Blake and I tried hard to hide.

  “It’s complicated.” I shrugged.

  “Trust me, I know a lot about complicated. I also know that the two of you are miserable. I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I’m still trying to figure out my own shit. The only thing I can offer is this. I wasted a lot of time with things I thought were complicated when it turned out the choice was simple. I followed my heart and it led me here.” An unexpected tear fell down my cheek.

  “I really wish I were more like you, Harley. Bold and brave.”

  “Brave? Hell, I’m scared of everything. I spent so much time hiding from my life before I realized that all the running in the world wasn’t worth a life without Drew in it.”

  “It’s not me. I want to be out in the open. It’s him.” My shoulders slumped. “He promised me that we would tell our parents, and when we had the opportunity, he chickened out. He thinks the minute the secret is out it will be the beginning of the end for us. That nobody will understand—not even our family—and it would tear us apart.”

  “Do you agree?”

  “No, but even if people don’t agree, it shouldn’t matter. It should be about what we want.”

  “Yeah, but it’s a little more complicated than that, don’t you think? There has got to be a happy medium. You both need your family.” What she’d said was true. I couldn’t ask Blake to choose between his family and me. Maybe I was being naïve and not really understanding the gravity of it all. I did know that nothing was going to be resolved tonight.

  “Harley, I—”

  “Listen, I don’t want you to feel like I’m judging you because I’m not. I really hope the two of you can work something out. You and Blake are very important to me and have put up with my crap for the past few months.”

  “Well, you’re not so bad.” I nudged her with my elbow.

  “I’ve heard worse.” She smiled briefly before leaning forward on the railing. “I never imagined this would be my life. You want to know where I was this time last year?” I nodded, wanting to know more about her life as a drifter. “Sleeping on a chair in a bus station somewhere in Florida.”

  “Florida? Why were you in Florida?”

  After a long pause, I was certain she wasn’t going to answer. She reached into her apron and pulled out something flat and white. As she held the object between her thumb and forefinger, I realized it was a piece of paper. She flapped it up and down, staring at it with an unreadable expression.

  “What is that?” I asked.

  “A letter.”

  “A letter from who?”

  “My mama."

  I knew the story of Harley’s parents, Kurt and Lizzie Wyatt. They were the infamous Love Bird Bandits. They’d gone on a ten-year crime spree involving intricate cons that had made them very wealthy. This also made their fall that much harder once they were captured. I couldn’t imagine how much Harley was affected by it. Having that sort of history to deal with in a young life was hard to escape.

  I reached for the letter and she loosened her hold. When I unfolded the paper, I immediately noticed the address on the envelope was from a prison facility in Florida, dated from the previous year.

  “Your mother wrote you a letter?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How did she find you? I didn’t think you stayed in one place very long.”

  “I don’t know, but I can’t imagine it would be too hard to find me if you ask the right people. Besides, it was delivered to my job.”

  “So, you went to visit her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How did it go?”

  “I never went inside. I rode the bus all the way down there and chickened out. So, I spent Christmas in the bus station feeling sorry for myself.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I tried to put myself in her shoes, and I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be after all the time that had gone by.

  “Now’s my turn to butt in. I know our circumstances are different, but having lost my mother when I was young, I would give anything to see her one last time.” My mind went back to me twirling my finger around a lock of my mother’s soft brown hair and the scent of fresh flowers. That memory I knew for certain was mine. “I know your mother probably feels sorry for missing out on so much of your life. I can’t pretend to know what you’ve gone through, but I would at least hear her out. You shouldn’t hold on to that kind of resentment forever because when she’s gone, she’s gone.”

  “Baby?” Fox opened the door to the patio, letting all the laughter escape from inside. “You okay?” He took a step forward with concern on his face.

  “Yeah,” she replied as I handed her the letter. After tucking it into her apron, she quickly wiped at one of her eyes before spinning around. “I’m okay, Drew.” She flashed me a sad smile. “Thanks for listening.”

  I watched the two go back inside. I wasn’t the only one with a heavy decision to make.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Leave me alone, Blake,” I hissed over my shoulder once I’d closed the register and handed the customer his receipt.

  “Tayia, you haven’t been home in two days.”

  “I’m an adult. I can sleep wherever I want.”

  “You can’t keep avoiding me forever. I want you home tonight. If I have to come out to Jonna’s place and throw you over my shoulder, I will.”

  “Hmph.” I stepped away from the counter, distancing myself from him. I liked when he got all alpha with me, except I couldn’t afford to give in just yet. “Well, you know what you need to do to change this situation.”

  “You know why we can’t,” he growled.

  The chiming of the bell at the front door interrupted our heated exchange as Jonna appeared in a flurry of wild blonde curls, her face splotchy and her eyes bloodshot. Instantly, I stepped around Blake and rushed to her side.

  “Jonna? Honey, what’s wrong?”

  “Mack . . . er, I mean Adam.” She hiccupped. “I’m not on his list.” I furrowed my brow at her, confused by her statement.

  “List? What do you mean?” I knew Jonna wasn’t a racer, and I couldn’t imagine what other list she was referring to.

  “The visitation list. He has a list and I’m not on it.” Then understanding dawned on me. A few weeks ago, King was arrested just before he was set to race Knight. The whole thing smelled of a set-up, and it had taken Jonna a while to figure out where they’d taken Mack.

  “Well, that doesn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t you be on his visitation list?” The two of them had been pretty hot and heavy for weeks, which was the reason I hadn’t seen much of her. It was as if any free time away from Catch was specifically designated for Mack. While I was happy that she was happy, I also missed my best friend.

  “Mack doesn’t want me to see him as a . . . prisoner.” She looked around as she whispered the last word like it was shameful.

  “So what if he is? You don’t care about that.” My voice came out a little louder than was probably necessary.

  “I know!” Jonna shrieked and threw her hands up. “That’s what I said, but Brando wouldn’t listen.”

  “Brando? Who’s Brando?”

  “You know Brando. He’s Mack’s brother.” I took a second to recall the name and was able to place him as the guy with the tattooed forearms and messy black hair from th
e night Mack and Jonna met.

  “Oh, yeah. I remember him.”

  I spent the rest of the evening with Jonna, soothing her. She was really gone for King. I was genuinely happy for her because I knew exactly how she felt.

  It was late by the time I arrived home and the entire house was dark. Music was coming from the garage, and I knew Blake was in there. Part of me wanted to go in there while the other part told me to stay away. Life had become a constant battle of my brain versus my lady bits.

  The faint sound of giggling caught my attention and my heart stopped. Was he in there with another girl? My pulse quickened and it became hard to breathe. I wanted to burst in and do . . . well, something, but I knew I had told Blake to leave me alone. Was it fair to be hot and cold?

  Before I knew it, I was swinging open the garage door to see Blake and Fox standing next to the Nova and Harley sitting on the couch with a beer bottle in her hand.

  “Yeah, man, but with Knight in control of the fuckin’ list, it’s gonna be tough . . .” Fox stopped speaking as soon as Blake’s eyes shifted to me. When I stepped into the garage, everyone looked at me with mixed expressions. Fox gave me a relaxed smile, Harley was gnawing nervously on her thumbnail, and Blake was looking everywhere else but at me.

  “Hi, Tayia,” Fox said and walked to sit down on the couch next to Harley. “We were hoping to see you before we left.” His eyes softened as he wrapped an arm around Harley. “We wanted both of you here when we made the announcement.”

  Blake and I exchanged confused glances. “Announcement?” we asked in unison.

  Fox gave a proud smile. “Harley is going to move in with me.” He placed an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. Harley’s leg began to bounce up and down as if she were ready to bolt at any second. Fox gently placed a hand on her knee to calm the shaking. “Isn’t that right, baby?” he said in a softer voice that was only meant for her. Harley’s body relaxed as all the anxiety diminished from her face and a dreamy smile formed as she stared back at him.