by Bekah Clark
As my eyes settled on her, my heart fluttered with our blossoming friendship. Softly, I said, “I want to stay here longer with you. However, when Torric says we must leave, I must leave. I promise you that I’ll come back here and finish teaching you. You have a good understanding of the plants as well as how to mix them properly. The deeper understanding is learning to realize what a person needs. This will take time.”
She lit up under my praise. I wondered how often she had received it in the past. But the truth was, she did a very good job. She was conscientious and took pride in her work. The few times I took her to the healing hall, she was also very gentle with the patients. But beyond all of that, I liked her. I had never had a female friend before, not a real one, anyway. I was beginning to feel she was my first one. Just as Torric had become my first male friend, and so much more.
Timidly, she stated, “I know it’ll take time, but I really want to learn this.”
I tried to hide the smile that flirted with my lips. “Then let’s move on to the next formula.”
We worked like that for a few more hours. I was just starting to feel hungry when there was a knock on the door, and Torric walked in.
Kayla’s eyes went wide and started to roam over his body before she quickly turned to carefully avoid looking at him. I hid a smile and walked over to Torric. “Picking me up already?”
“It’s dinnertime. What’s been going on while I’ve been away? Have you been eating?”
I rolled my eyes and Kayla laughed. “Of course she eats. She’s been making me eat more, too. She said that strength is important because you never know when a patient will need you.”
Torric hauled me into his arms. “Well, she’s right, of course.”
I beamed up at him and then turned back to Kayla. “I think we’re done for the day. If you have time, study the book. I’ll try not to be late tomorrow.”
“No promises,” Torric rumbled. I laughed and Kayla blushed as she put things away. I went to help, but Torric drew me out instead and headed for the dining area.
“So I take it you still aren’t telling me about your mission.”
He frowned. “I was hoping you’d forgotten about that, lass.”
I glanced up at him. “Tell me when we get to our room tonight.”
“I will,” he said, his voice tinged with frustration.
I folded my arms as it dawned on me. “Keig doesn’t want me to know.”
Torric paused a long time. Just as I started to think he wasn’t going to confirm it, he softly said, “Yes.”
“I don’t want secrets between us. I—”
Gently he said in my ear, “Neither do I. But sometimes,” —he stopped us just outside the door and pulled me to him, staring at me intently, as if he was trying to make me understand something more—“sometimes you have to wait for the right time to tell something.”
My eyes searched his. There was something hidden there, something else he wanted to say. He opened his mouth and at that moment, Keig walked up.
“You two are just on time.”
With a faint smile, I said, “We are.”
When we walked in, I noticed Vonn’s arm wrapped up in a splint. The need to heal swelled through me. Turning to Keig, I asked, “Why was I not called?”
“It’s just a broken arm,” Vonn said.
I turned to him. “And if you’re attacked, you’d only have one arm to use.”
I reached for him, but Torric slipped his arm around my waist and dragged me away from Vonn. I looked up at him and frowned. “I told you before not to—”
“I’m not telling you not to heal him. But I’d much rather you eat your dinner. You can heal him after, and I’ll bring you to bed.”
The three men snickered.
Immediately, Torric growled, “To sleep.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Vonn quipped.
Taking a deep breath, I sat down. But the itch to heal Vonn wormed into me. I barely tasted my dinner because my eyes were on his arm. Several times, Torric tried to engage me in conversation, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away from the broken arm. My body shook slightly as pain from resisting the healing wiggled through me. That was the hardest part—trying to keep Torric from noticing that it was hurting me not to heal. He had no idea that it caused me pain, and I wanted to keep it that way.
“Are you always like this?” Vonn asked.
I shook my head and pried my eyes off his arm. “What?”
“When someone is wounded, are you always like this?”
“Yes. I can’t help myself. The need to heal fills me. There are only a couple of things that can deflect it.”
“Oh? What?”
“If the person is too close to death, I feel an intense need not to touch him.”
With great effort, I turned myself back to my meal. It was only then that I realized it was an excellently roasted turkey. There was even gravy on it, and I loved gravy. I took a bite and smiled. Now that I focused on my meal, it was very good.
“What are the other things?”
I swallowed and looked up. I found all of their eyes on me. There was really only one other thing. A flash of the past cut through me—my mother, teaching me a lesson I’d never forget. I didn’t want to talk about it. Torric had said that sometimes things needed to wait for the right time, and I decided that this was one of those things.
Smoothly, I said, “It’s forbidden. So I shouldn’t speak of it.”
Torric turned to me, and I stared back into his eyes. I knew he was curious, but after what we had just said, I knew he would not push me.
Keig, on the other hand, was very curious. He wasn’t going to let my words stop him. “What things?” His demanding tone grated on my nerves.
“Keig,” Torric’s voice was hard with determination to put an end to the discussion, “a healer is entitled to her secrets.”
My hand slipped to his under the table and I squeezed. His returned grip shot warmth through my arm and straight into my now rapidly beating heart.
I returned to eating and said breezily to Keig, “We healers have secrets because we’ve been hunted so terribly. Back in Renth, I’d be dead in any village other than Vella. You’ll forgive me if I keep our forbidden histories to myself?”
He nodded, but I could tell he didn’t like it. Yet, what choice did he have? Torric looked between Keig and me. I’m sure he sensed the tension. I knew Keig still didn’t like the way I spoke about Ahn, even if he realized the truth of what I said. After all, he’d known her for a lot longer than he’d known me, despite her intentions. Plus, he was worried that I had some ulterior motive when it came to Torric. That last part irritated me.
“The compulsion to heal is immense. Although it’s possible to resist with great effort, it still has ruled my whole life. But I like healing people. I like knowing that I can help them. I like waking up and knowing that I did some good. I’m sorry if you don’t like me keeping secrets from you, Keig. But the truth is, I don’t answer to you, and I don’t feel as if I have to tell you everything. Just as I’m sure you’re not telling me everything.”
Torric laughed. “She’s got you there, Keig.” He studied his friend for a long moment, eyes narrowing. When he turned to me, I avoided his penetrating gaze. But when he spoke, I could hear the grin in his voice. “Let me guess—you questioned her while I was gone. Just as I asked you not to.”
Keig frowned. “Maybe.”
“No maybe. I know my woman. She’s trying to be civil, but she feels she’s got a bone to pick with you.”
My eyes widened in surprise as they slid to Torric. In all our time together, all the times I chattered to him, I hadn’t realized how much he was observing me. A blush heated my cheeks. I should’ve known. My own observation of him had shown a keen mind, one of the things that had begun the love for him that was now dwelling in my heart. “Torric, it’s nothing.”
“Nothing?”
I bit my lip a moment. Finally, I said, “Keig and I had
a… misunderstanding. There’s no reason to get upset about it.”
I could feel Keig’s eyes on me and so I met his gaze. Understanding must have dawned on him that I had not told Torric. He suddenly let out a chuckle. I returned his laugh with a smile. His eyes moved to Torric. “Your woman, huh?” Keig said and then glanced between the two of us expectantly. Once again, I felt that I was missing something.
Torric frowned and Keig rolled his eyes. Vonn and Zeer kept eating, carefully avoiding what was happening between Torric and Keig. Other than the topics of my healing and being Torric’s woman, everyone was surprisingly silent. I wondered what it was that had happened on their mission.
However, it looked like I wasn’t going to get any questions answered that night, because once the distraction of eating was gone, the need to heal Vonn once again overwhelmed me. Before Torric could stop me, I reached over and touched him. I let the healing flow through me and knit his bones back together. The toll for knitting bones back together took a lot more out of me than knitting flesh, and because of that, I fell asleep faster.
As I passed out, I was confident that Torric wouldn’t let my head hit my plate.
Chapter Twelve
The next morning, I awoke in Torric’s arms. He slept heavily beside me, and for a time, I laid there, softly tracing his features. His cheekbones were prominent and his jaw strong. His lips were full, sensuous, and I smiled, remembering the tenderness they often showed me…not to mention the heat of passion. I knew for a certainty that I loved him. And because of that, I made a decision.
Rising quietly, I slipped into the bathing chamber to wash. Sinking into the tub, I stared out the window to watch the colors of dawn play across the sky in rich hues of dark purple, orange-red, and then, finally, sky blue. I was content here in this fort, but I knew I’d leave soon and face the king I had to heal. Torric cared for him, and his words made me believe that the king was an honorable man. Yet, everyone I knew would revile me for this act.
All my life, I had been taught that the people of Glane were savages. My experience told me otherwise. My experience also taught me that the people of my own village were cruel. Still, I found it hard to hate them. If I were to be honest, a part of me missed them.
Well, maybe not Senna.
“You didn’t wake me.”
I turned to find Torric standing naked in the door. My eyes slowly ran up his body, taking in every defined muscle. I’d never seen a man like him before. And even though the warriors of the fort were strong and powerfully built, none of them inspired the emotion and desire in me that this man did. His presence invoked a sense of safety that I had never known—along with intense fire and desire. I wondered briefly if this was how my mother felt when she met my father.
He walked over to me and gently caressed my face. His impassioned gaze lingered on my partially submerged body before roaming deliberately. Smiling up at his wandering eyes, I said, “You looked too peaceful to disturb.”
“Care to share?”
I laughed. “Only if we genuinely bathe. I promised Kayla I’d work with her today, and I know that if you get your way, I’ll be in bed all day.”
He grinned wickedly. “Not just the bed. There’s an interesting wall I wanted to show you.”
Chuckling and trying to hide my blush, I adjusted myself to make room for him in the large tub. He slipped in and dragged me into his arms. Quietly, the two of us held close and soaked in the warmth of the water and each other. Gently, I let my fingers run over the hard planes of his chest. He tugged me closer and held me tighter. “About my mission…”
“I don’t want to know.”
I could feel the curiosity in him and turned to meet his questioning eyes. Smiling, I slid my body up to kiss the corner of his mouth gently. He turned his mouth to mine and deepened the kiss for a long moment before he drew away and stared down into my eyes.
“Want to tell me why?” he asked in a husky tone.
“Because you don’t want me to know. And if it’s something I can’t live with, what will I do?” My voice hitched, “I don’t want to be angry with you or fight with you over things I can’t control. I—”
“It isn’t what you think.” His gentle voice cut me off.
I turned my eyes up to him—now I was curious, and all thoughts of letting it rest fled. “It isn’t?”
Kissing my brow, he said, “No. There have always been border skirmishes between Renth and Glane. Always. They’re once again doing so, but it isn’t anything new. Renth doesn’t have much of a standing army. You’re all scattered with little villages here and there and very few warriors.”
Frowning, I asked, “Then what has you so worried?”
He gently stroked back my hair. I could see in his eyes he didn’t want to upset me. Leaning up, I kissed him softly before I asked, “Please?”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “I thought you weren’t going to ask.”
“I wasn’t, but now that I know you’re not going to war with Renth, I want to know.”
His arm tightened around my waist and we rested in the tub as the water slowly cooled. When the water was, at last, a bit chilly, he rose, lifting me, and setting me on my feet. Wrapping myself in a bath sheet, I started to dry off. I kept myself quiet. When he didn’t continue, I walked into the other room and went about getting dressed.
“You’re angry.”
“I don’t know what I am. But there are things I’ve not shared with you, so I best get used to you not sharing everything with me. This being just another thing.”
“Another thing?”
I froze. I hadn’t meant to say that. I knew Torric was keeping something from me, but I wasn’t ready to push him for answers. Quickly, I finished getting dressed. Turning to him, I smiled. “I’m hungry. Can we go get some breakfast?”
He stood there, still. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to pursue it. Then, thinking better of it, he turned to his own clothing to and got dressed. I let my eyes wander over his body—strong, powerful, and without an ounce of excess weight. He dressed in his usual dark brown jerkin and pants. I smiled as the irritation vanished. When we had been on the road, he didn’t have a shirt. I decided I missed that.
The next three days were full of my teaching Kayla. My evenings were lonely because Torric was busy with Keig, Vonn, and Zeer. When he’d arrive at our room, we’d make love, and he’d hold me through the night. He never spoke of what was going on, and I didn’t press him. I didn’t want him to ask me about the forbidden thing that healers could do.
Each day with Kayla, I felt more confident in my choice. She now had the most important recipes memorized, and when she’d mix them, she did an impeccable job. In addition, Ahn never bothered us again. I was content with my work and was happy to pass on what I knew. I realized I’d miss this place and those I had come to care for.
On the fourth day, Torric came to me just before lunch. He smiled at Kayla before he kissed me soundly. Eyes twinkling at him, I said, “What’s going on?”
“I want to have lunch, just the two of us.”
I grinned up at him and turned to Kayla. “I’ll be back in an hour. Get yourself something to eat.”
When I noticed the flash of red across her cheeks, I smothered a smile. Torric slipped his arm around me and led me back to our room, where I found a meal of roasted chicken and vegetables waiting for us.
I tilted my head and then turned my eyes up to him. “We’re actually eating?”
He laughed and dragged me to him. His deep kisses stole my breath as he crushed my body to his for a long moment. After he left my lips delightfully bruised, he rested his brow on mine and looked into my eyes. His emerald gaze once again captivated me. Like mine, his eyes were green, but the color was so different. Before I met him, I never thought I would grow to love green eyes. Back in Vella, they made me feel so separate and alone.
“We’re actually eating. I want to talk to you as well.”
After he seated me at the small t
able in our room, he sat and we started in on the chicken. It was perfectly seasoned, and I got the urge to go to the kitchen and ask the cook what her secret was.
An affable silence filled the room as we ate, drinking a sweet wine with our meal. I didn’t drink often, but this particular wine was delicious. When we finished, I cleared away the dishes and left the tray outside the door. I had learned from Torric the few times we ate in our room that the servants in the fort would take them away. When I returned to him, he pulled me to sit sidesaddle on his lap. He grinned at me and planted a soft kiss. Smiling back at him, I waited. I knew he wanted to talk to me. The question was, what did he want to say? For a time, however, he just held me close.
“What’s going on?” I finally asked.
“We’re leaving tomorrow.”
A mix of emotions ran through me as I said, “That’s good. The sooner we go, the sooner we get to Donner.”
He stared at me for a long moment. “You don’t want to leave.”
“I’m enjoying training Kayla. I’ve never had anyone so eager to learn my craft before.”
“I’ll bring you back. I promise.”
I nuzzled into his neck, inhaling his rich woodsy and cinnamon scent. I could live on it. In his arms, I felt at peace and a sense of belonging. I didn’t think I had known what I was missing living in Vella until Torric had come into my life and shown me warmth and tenderness. Even here, in this fort, most people treated me with dignity and respect. No one looked at me as if I was going to bring them harm. I could have been content to live here.
“So is that why we have to meet alone?”
He smiled. “We’re leaving in the morning, and Vonn is coming with us.”
I grinned at him. “That’ll be fun.” And then the meaning of his words sunk in, and my voice sank. “And we’ll never be alone.”
I let out a long sigh and he hugged me to him. “At least with two of us, it’ll be easier to keep you safe.”
“Why is he coming?”