Just Perfect! (Persaud Girl)

by Teisha Mott

  One loan tear squeezed between her eyelids and coursed down the side of her face. For the first time, she really was totally alone. At least she still had Caitlin, she thought. Her poor little daughter who could come any day now with no father to love her.

  “It’s okay, Caitie,” she whispered. “We may have lost your daddy, but you still have mommy. She isn’t perfect, but know that she loves you, and she will do her best for you. I know it’s just us, now, but we’ll be fine, baby. We’ll be just fine…”

  Samantha pulled the sheets over her head, realising that she had lied to her unborn baby. They were not going to be fine. She had now really truly lost Jeremy, and there was nothing she could do about it.

  ***

  Friday, November 26

  It was morning, and the sunlight was streaming into her bedroom. Samantha closed her eyes to the morning glare, and tried to forget the nightmare she had. She dreamt she was in New York with her baby, and she had been walking from the apartment she had shared with Bridget and Nikki to Jeremy’s apartment in SoHo. She had Caitlin wrapped up in her arms as she walked along, but when she made the right on Lafayette Street, Jen jumped out and grabbed the baby and ran. She tried to chase Jen, but she was wearing Aunt Phoebe’s sequinned Christian Louboutin snake skin sandals, and she could not run in them. Jen had taken her baby. Jen was a thief. She had not only stolen her baby, but she had stolen Jeremy, too.

  The clock next to her bed told her it was nine thirty. Theresa would soon be coming up with a tray. She wondered whether Nursey had indeed reported to her mother that she had ignored Dr Creary’s bed rest warnings and had gone out with Micah. She really was not in the mood for a lecture.

  Samantha sat up in bed and immediately closed her eyes against the strange pounding in her head. It reminded her of the migraine she had woken up with the morning of her birthday. She felt woozy and nauseated. She took a deep breath. The feeling would pass, she thought. She just had to give it a moment.

  She gave it a moment. Then two, but the feeling did not pass. Her room was going around and around. This did not feel right. She wondered whether she would pass out. She did not want to pass out. She remembered what Dr Creary told her at the end of every visit. If she had any blurred vision, headaches or nausea, she should call right away. Now, if only she knew where to find her phone. She had to reach her phone…

  “Morning, Sam!” Andie burst into her room without knocking. “Wait until I tell you what Nathan…” She looked at her sister. “You look weird. You alright?”

  “Andie, can you help me find my phone?” Samantha asked, her voice sounding strange to her own ears. “I need to call Dr Creary.”

  Andie’s eyes opened to the size of saucers. “Oh my God! Are you in labour?”

  “I don’t think so, but I don’t feel too good…”

  ***

  Jeremy entered the lobby of the Madison Avenue high rise that housed Persaud Financial Services. He pulled off his rain coat, stomped his muddy boots on the carpet, and shook his umbrella, ignoring the look that Roger, the security guard was giving him. It was pissing rain outside, and Jeremy realised that he really hated rainy days in New York City. It had been brutal trying to get a taxi back to the office, and three women had almost knocked him over, and one that was eighty-five, if she was a day, and had pretty much body slammed him into a wall and whacked him with her oversized umbrella.

  It had been a helluva a morning. He had woken up late and hung over, after staying out too late with Jen the night before. Then, he had spent the entire morning at the offices of Premium Digital, going over the figures for the valuation of the company with a mousy looking Financial Analyst who probably thought the universe would implode if she raised her voice above a whisper. Jeremy glanced at his watch. It was a few minutes before twelve, which meant it was almost time to have lunch. He pushed that thought out of his head. With his desk looking the way it did, he would have to work through his lunch hour again. He had a cup of instant Ramen and some Saltines in his desk drawer. He would have that for lunch while he made the necessary amendments to his initial figures. He hoped to have something concrete to present to Phillip before he left at six. And sometime during the course of the day hehad to call Samantha. It was time, he decided, to stop being a punk and talk to her -- properly. There was so much he had to say, but he would start at “I’m sorry”...

  The elevator dinged, and he got out, almost bumping into Phillip’s secretary, Wendy.

  “Jeremy, where have you been?” She screeched.

  “I—I-- …He was taken aback.

  “Phillip has been looking all over for you!” Wendy grabbed his arm, and began dragging him down the hall to Phillip’s office. “Why weren’t you answering your cell phone?”

  “I was at a meeting!” Jeremy explained, wondering what he had done to piss off Phillip this time. “I turned it off…”

  “And clearly, you still haven’t turned it back on!”

  They got to Phillip’s office. Phillip was standing behind his desk, the telephone at his ear. “Yeah, Mom, he just got here! I’ll call you back.” He said, before replacing the receiver. He glared at Jeremy. “Where the hell have you been?”

  “At Premium Digital,” Jeremy explained. “Remember I told you two days ago that I’d be there this morning, and I sent you an e-mail…”

  Phillip silenced him with a wave of his hand. “Go home! Right now…”

  Jeremy was in shock. Was he being fired? What the hell for? “Phillip, what…”

  “You’re going to Jamaica!”

  “Jamaica?” Jeremy questioned. “Why? And what about the MarsBender project? And what about…”

  “My mom has been calling me every ten minutes for the past hour,” Phillip told him. “Samantha’s in the hospital. Something about high blood pressure and preeclampsia… They are taking Caitlin out by caesarean tonight.”

  The floor fell out beneath Jeremy’s feet. He felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. “What?”

  “I don’t know what happened,” Phillip continued. “My mom didn’t give me the details, but whatever the case, you need to go, or you’re going to miss your flight.”

  “My flight?”

  “Well, you can’t exactly walk to Kingston!” Phillip looked at him as though he was a complete idiot. “Wendy booked you on the 2:20 direct to Kingston, so you don’t have much time…”

  “Is Sam okay?”

  “No. I just told you she’s not okay. You need to go, now!”

  “But what about…”

  “Dude!” Phillip cut him off. “I just told you that Sam has a life threatening condition and she’s in the University Hospital in Kingston and your kid is going to be born tonight. What about what? I’ll cover your projects. Just get the hell outta here, and go take care of my little cousin, and quit worrying about work!”

  NowJeremy did not know if he was fish or fowl. He couldn’t move. All he could do was stare at Phillip.

  “Why the hell are you still standing here?”

  “Phillip, I…”

  Phillip looked at him. He looked as though he was about to faint. “Are you having a stroke?”

  “No, I – I don’t …”

  “Jeremy, just calm down. Go home, throw a few things together, grab you passport, go to the airport and get on your plane. That is all you need to do. That’s all you need to think about right now. Would you like me to send Wendy with you?”

  “No,” Jeremy shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I – I…”

  Phillip was looking at him. “What?”

  “I’m really sorry, Phillip.”

  “Sorry for what?”

  “For all of this. For Samantha and me, and – and -- and what happened… for lying to you about it…”

  “Hey, that is all water under the bridge. What’s important now is that you go be with Samantha, okay? Call me when you get there. I need to know what’s happening.”

  Jeremy looked at him. He looked like the Phillip he us
ed to know. There was no angry glare. Just a look of concern – for Samantha and Caitlin and for him too. The idea crossed his mind that maybe Phillip was not being hard on him because he was being spiteful, but because pushing him was how he learned. There was so much he wanted to say, but there was no time. He had to go home and be with Samantha.

  “I will. Thanks Phillip!” He turned to leave.

  “Hey!” Phillip called, and Jeremy turned around. “When next I talk to you, you’re going to be a dad. Congrats, man.”

  “Thank you!” Jeremy said, feeling a bit nauseated.

  “You take good care of them!” Phillip warned. “Both my cousin, and your little girl. Don’t screw this up like the last time I asked you to take care of her, or this time, I will kill you!”

  Jeremy believed him. He left the office, feeling a hundred times more mortified and confused than when he was supposed to fly from Mobay to Kingston when Andie had first told him that Samantha was pregnant. That seemed like just yesterday, and now… Samantha had preeclampsia? How? What the hell had gone wrong with her. She had told him some weeks ago that she was on bed rest because her blood pressure was high. As he settled into his seat on the Air Jamaica lovebird, all the worst case scenarios started running through his mind. Severe preeclampsia. That could lead to eclampsia. That came with seizures and a myriad of other complications – placenta previa, stroke, coma and death. Jeremy found he could not breathe. He felt trapped in the plane, and totally helpless. He was not a praying man, but this was a good enough moment as any to start.

  God would not make anything bad happen to her, or Caitlin, he decided. He thought about how they had gotten into that situation in the first place. Every moment leading up to today had been totally random. Samantha was his dream. He never thought being with her would be a reality, and she certainly should not be pregnant with his daughter. All this seemed like providence – like a force greater than either of them was at work. A force like God!

  Jeremy recalled the Saturday over the summer that Nathan had dragged him to church. The Minister had been talking about Joseph, and the providence of God. He mentioned that every moment of Joseph’s life – from the time his brothers had dumped him in the pit, to the time he had been falsely accused by Mrs Potiphar and thrown in prison -- God had been working behind the scenes.

  “When an event has been ordered by God,” the minister had said, “nothing that man can do can derail his plan. What is meant to be can never be altered by minor setbacks. Aye, dreams don’t have to die in prison!”

  Jeremy had not been listening properly. He had been stuck on the Minister’s confession that he had seen ‘A Low Down Dirty Shame’ ten times. But now, as the words came back to him, he had to think whether they only applied to Joseph, or whether they could be applied to himself and Samantha. He wondered whether they were meant to be; whether Micah was meant to break her heart and whether they were meant to get drunk in Club Infierno and whether despite his best efforts, she was meant to get pregnant. He didn’t think God would have taken that circuitous route to bring them together. And from the little he knew, God did not condone getting drunk in a nightclub and fornication. But He was God. Not because he didn’t condone it, didn’t mean he wouldn’t bring a blessing out of it. He didn’t condone throwing siblings in pits, faking their deaths, selling them into slavery and lying to parents, either. But look how He had worked that out. More of the Minister’s words came flooding back. “God was the master of creating beauty out of ashes… Anything broken could be fixed as long as God was doing the mending”.

  Jeremy accepted the snack plate the flight attendant presented him, still deep in thought. God had brought him and Samantha together, but he had made pride and anger tear them apart. He felt awful when he recalled how badly he had treated her over the past few months – how he refused to talk to her, except to ask her about Caitlin. When she had told him she was on bed rest, he had tried to be sympathetic, but had zoned out when she mentioned something about Micah keeping her company so she was not bored. He had decided in his mind that Samantha was selfish, but the truth was, he was the selfish one. Andie had been right. He was a spoiled, selfish, sorry excuse for a man. If he had lost her to Micah, it would be his own fault. Well, God was the master mender. Certainly he could fix this. And even if he didn’t right away, he could make sure Samantha and Caitlin were okay. Jeremy decided it was time they had a conversation.

  “God, please let her know I love her!” He whispered. “And most importantly, please take care of her and Caitlin.”

  He opened his eyes, wondering whether that was enough. He hoped it was. He hoped when he got to Jamaica, he would learn that the earlier panic had been much ado about nothing, and both Samantha and Caitlin were fine. And he hoped he could apologise to her and tell her he did not care who she was friends with, as long as she loved him, just like Nathan had told him to do. He hoped she would forgive him and allow him back into his life. He hoped he would have a second opportunity to be with her. He hoped, he hoped, he hoped…

  ***

  Samantha looked around the drab, depressing, paste white room at the University hospital. The walls were bare, and the incessant beeping of the myriad of machines in the room – she was actually hooked up to a few of them – were rather off-putting. It had been quite a day, and the best was yet to come. She had been in the hospital since ten that morning, and it was now coming up to one in the afternoon. The dizziness; the headache, the nausea had all meant one thing – her blood pressure had gone through the roof, and both she and Caitlin were in mortal danger. Dr Creary was not taking any chances. Caitlin was coming out tonight, no ifs, ands or buts about it. The procedure was scheduled for six-thirty that evening. In five short hours, Samantha realised, she was going to be a mother, and that thought scared her more than the thought of getting a stroke, going into a coma and dying.

  “How are you feeling?” Bianca asked, fussing around the room.

  “Tired,” Samantha admitted. “Where are my mother and Andie?”

  “They went to get lunch!” Bianca responded, checking her IV. “They’ll be back soon. And Klao is coming to see you after class.”

  Samantha nodded. Lunch sounded like a wonderful idea, but she wasn’t allowed to eat anything before the surgery. She looked at the IV bag. “What are you pumping into me?”

  “Magnesium. It is to prevent seizures and any other complications.”

  Samantha closed her eyes. “Seizures? That’s not good!”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Bianca assured her. “All mothers with mild to severe preeclampsia get magnesium.”

  “How come you are here?” Samantha asked.

  “You’re on my rotation.” Bianca told her.

  “Really? I thought you were on Paediatrics rotation!”

  “Well, I was, but I asked for a switch, and now I’m here! I have a couple classes, but aside from that, for the rest of the day, I will be at your beck and call!”

  “Lucky me!” Samantha smiled, and Bianca smiled back. She sighed. “This is really happening tonight, isn’t it?”

  “It certainly is,” Bianca confirmed. “But you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Dr Creary can perform a C-section in her sleep. And remember that she said the only ‘cure’ for preeclampsia is delivery.”

  Samantha sighed. This was all her fault, she knew. She had not done what her doctor told her. She should never have gone to that stupid party with Micah last night. Her stupidity could have cost her life and Caitlin’s life too.

  “Bianca, is Caitlin okay?”

  “She’s fine!”

  Samantha was not convinced. This morning, everyone had been in a panic, and Dr Creary’s voice had been normal for way too long. “Are you sure?”

  “Look here,” Bianca motioned to one of the machines. “This is a foetal monitor. We are watching her very closely and she is in a much better condition than you!”

  “So she isn’t going to die?” Samantha asked hopefully.

  “
No, she’s going to be perfect.”

  “What about me? Am I going to die?”

  “Sure you are!” Bianca joked. “When you are 92, surrounded by Caitlin and your other children and grandchildren. And knowing you, you are going to give them a long, vapid speech about making smart decisions and excelling at life and being perfect at everything they do before you go! Hopefully I’ll be dead before then, so I don’t have to listen to you give it!”

  Despite herself, Samantha smiled. “I love you, Bee. I’m glad you’re here.”

  “There’s nowhere else I would rather be, S!”

  That was really nice to hear, Samantha thought. If only Caitlin’s father had the same idea. It was not that she did not want to do the caesarean. She just did not want to do it without him. He had to be there. But she wondered whether he would come, or he was too busy being Jen’s boy toy to be worried about her and Caitlin.

  “Bianca, did anyone call Jeremy?”

  “Yes, your mother did,” Bianca assured her.

  “Is he coming?”

  “I honestly don’t know. It’s not like he’s coming from across the street, but I’m sure he’ll try his best to come.”

  “If he doesn’t come, will you come in with me?”

  Bianca smiled. “Sweetie, whether Jeremy comes or not, you’d need a restraining order and a security detail to keep me out of that theatre!”

  “Jeremy has to come, Bee!” Samantha whispered, tears filling her eyes. “I don’t want to do this without him.”

  “He will come,” Bianca promised. “He loves you and he loves Caitie, too.”

  Samantha was not quite sure about that. Last night proved that there was something phenomenally wrong with her that caused men to fall in and out of love with her on a whim. But she prayed he would come – even if not for her, but for Caitlin.