Superstar

by Roslyn Hardy Holcomb

  “I wasn’t off-beat, that’s how we wrote it.”

  “That’s not how it was written, you’re way off,” Thad said.

  “How the hell would you know?” Jon asked. “You weren’t even with the band when we wrote this song.”

  “You’re just defending him because you’re off too,” Thad said. “Who the hell added "Night Train" to the playlist anyway? We never play it live.”

  “You did!” Twist and Jon said in unison. “And what the hell is your problem?” Twist continued throwing down his drumsticks and walking over to Thad.

  “I don’t have a problem, except that suddenly you guys are playing like shit,” Thad said. “How the hell are we supposed to have a sound check when you sound this way?”

  “Damned if I’m putting up with this crap from you, kid,” Jon said and he put his guitar back in the rack before storming out of the room.

  Thad stared after the usually mild-mannered bassist. "What's his problem?"

  “What did you expect? You’ve been acting like a dick for the past week,” Twist snapped back.

  "Yeah, but it's never bothered him before."

  "Well, he's going through some changes of his own. I think Cinnamon wants a divorce," Twist said.

  "What? That's crazy. They've been together forever."

  Twist shrugged. "I might be wrong, but something's wrong. Speaking of, what the hell is wrong with you?"

  “I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong, just play your parts right and there’s no problem,” Thad said.

  “No problem? You just managed to piss Jon off for fuck’s sake,” Twist said and Thad had to admit maybe he had gone too far, but damn it he had been off.

  Bryan hadn’t made it down for the sound check yet. For some reason Thad, Twist and Jon were early. Normally they got along fine, but Twist could be mercurial at the best of times and today Thad was in no mood to be diplomatic.

  “Jon’s got a problem and I don’t think I’m it,” Thad said.

  “I swear, for a man who’s getting laid on the regular you’ve been grumpy as hell.”

  “Well, that’s never helped your personality any. Assuming Naysa hasn’t finally come to her senses and kicked your ass out,that is” Thad snapped back.

  “Naysa and I are getting along fine,” Twist said.

  “Now isn’t that a miracle?” The two of them rarely went more than a few days without an explosive argument. Thad was amazed their relationship had lasted this long. Thinking about relationships set his mind adrift with the vision Sioux had been on the boat. The sun burnished her bronze-toned skin making her glow like some ancient love goddess. It still amazed him that she'd pulled away. He was so far gone he was really going to make love to her on an open boat! In that moment he simply hadn't given a damn. Sticking to his resolve was getting harder and harder. It was only a matter of time before the two of them would tangle naked on cool crisp sheets. Reminiscing burned a sensual visual through his brain so strong it almost brought him to his knees.

  Twist snapped his fingers in Thad’s face to get his attention. “See what I mean? One half the time you're not here and when you are you're such a jerk everybody wants you to go away. What the hell is your problem? Did you and Sioux have a fight? Did she cut you off?” Twist asked.

  Thad stepped away and began pacing the stage, wondering where the hell Bryan was. Technically speaking, as lead guitarists there was no reason for either he or Bryan to be there yet. Typically they checked the rhythm section first. But he'd awakened that morning wrapped around Sioux like Schroeder with his blanket. It was either get out of that room or lose his mind. The sound technician was in his booth adjusting dials and knobs. Either he couldn’t hear their conversation or wasn’t interested. “We didn’t have a fight and she didn’t cut me off because she never cut me on. I told you there’s nothing between us.”

  “Oh really? Then why have I seen her leaving your room early in the morning more than once?”

  Thad raised his eyes heavenward. He’d forgotten what a morning person Twist was. Sioux always left his room early. They weren’t trying to keep their friendship a secret, but she usually tried to get in a meeting and a workout as soon as possible each morning. “We sleep together, but we’re not having sex.”

  “What?” Twist grabbed him by the arm and he stopped pacing. “What kind of friendship is that?”

  “Well, you know she’s got issues. Touring is hard, she’s never done it by herself before and she doesn’t like to be alone, so she comes to my room sometimes. It’s no big deal.”

  “It’s a pretty big fucking deal, dude. It’s making you cranky as hell. Have you tried to get with her?”

  “Hell no. I mean, she tried…”

  “Say what?”

  Thad closed his eyes briefly. He was really going to have to have his tongue removed. “She was interested in having sex, but I’m not.” From the expression on Twist’s face he knew he should’ve shut up several sentences back. Or maybe not even got out of bed at all. His mind drifted away briefly on that thought. He’d left Sioux in his bed, all soft and silky warm cuddled against his back, her honey aroma now seemed to permeate everything he owned. He couldn’t get rid of it even if he wanted to. He was brought back to reality by Twist’s exclamation of disbelief.

  “Dude, have you looked at that girl? I mean, if Naysa didn’t have my balls on lockdown I’d be all over that. What’s the deal?”

  Thad snorted. “As if she would have you.” Then he sighed. “I don’t know. I mean. You know what could happen to the band."

  Twist frowned. “She’s not in the band.”

  Thad raised his eyes heavenward in annoyance. “Yeah, that's what she said, too, but still it would be a bad situation. Besides, I don’t want it to be a casual thing.”

  “Why not? You’ve done casual before,” Twist said with a shrug.

  “That was a long time ago, and you saw how crazy that shit ended.”

  “Well there is that, but that’s no reason not to try it again.”

  “Look who’s talking. Naysa’s the only woman you’ve ever slept with. What the hell do you know about it?” Thad asked.

  Color rose in Twist’s face. Paired with his bright hair and freckles he glowed like Vegas at Christmas. “I do know you either need to sleep with Sioux, or somebody else. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of women around. And you might want to stop that sleeping together shit. That can’t be helping. You’re horny as hell, and sleeping with a woman you're not sleeping with is not helping.”

  Thad sighed, knowing Twist was right but the problem was he liked sleeping with her. Sioux was so sweet and cuddly and he loved having her in bed with him. Crazy as it sounded and he knew it sounded crazy, she helped him relax and unwind after a show. Even with the daily sexual frustration he slept better with her than without. But given the way this conversation was going he had no desire to reveal that fact to Twist.

  “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea,” he said as the rest of the band members began filing in. Sioux came in a little later looking surprisingly tired. He knew she'd slept well, so he wondered what was troubling her. He definitely planned to ask.

  Sioux felt the tension in the room almost immediately. That wasn’t unusual; most of the band members were strong-willed and fights weren’t uncommon, especially when Twist was involved. But she could tell by the way Thad wouldn’t meet her gaze that they’d been fighting about her. She wondered what the problem was. She and Thad hadn’t talked all that much since leaving Chicago. So if there was a problem it must have cropped up since then. Thad wasn’t one to keep such things to himself. Wanting to get the sound check over as quickly as possible she started toward the sound booth only to be stopped by Bryan.

  “Have you seen the stories today?” he asked.

  She shook her head, her day had begun late as their schedule had gone wild once they left Chicago and she was determined not to miss her meeting. She hadn’t been online or even answered her messages that morning.
/>   He pulled his phone out his pocket and showed her the headline on one particularly nasty site. The photo was an old one from the book release party they’d attended several months before. She hadn’t realized it, but apparently a photographer had taken what seemed to be a very incriminating photo of her and Bryan at that event. She didn’t even remember grabbing his arm and leaning in close to him. She had only been trying to be heard in the noisy room, but the camera angle and the digital removal of Thad from the photo altogether made it seem that they were about to kiss.

  Sioux Bags Her Man

  Sioux Dupree, late of every drug rehab in the Western Hemisphere has been chasing after Bryan Spencer of Storm Crow for more than ten years. She’s opening for the band on the North American leg of their red-hot tour. From what we can see in the picture we’re wondering what else she’s been opening for bad boy Bryan.

  Oh my God. The dizziness welled up as she stared into his vivid blue eyes.

  “Oh no. I’m so sorry,” she whispered her throat so tight she could barely force the words out. Her stomach soon followed suit and she feared she was going to lose her breakfast at any moment. This was just the sort of thing she’d feared would happen. It would give Bryan an excuse to throw her off the tour. Not that he really needed one.

  Thad joined them. “What’s the deal?” Bryan silently passed him the phone. “That sucks man. They were saying for a while that she was after me.”

  “You know they’ll say whatever gets them the clicks. I guess I should’ve been expecting something like this,” Bryan said.

  Sioux shook her head. The tabloids were just a normal part of the business, but this story was particularly nasty. “Callie doesn’t think…”

  “Of course not,” Callie said as she entered the stage, her tiny newborn nestled in a sling against her chest. “Bryan leave the poor girl alone. She didn’t have anything to do with this. We know better than most how awful those sites are.” Bryan’s wife had just joined them the previous evening. Though she normally traveled with the band, the arduous tour was too much for a newborn so she was popping in only on periodic stops.

  “I know she didn’t have anything to do with it, I wasn’t attacking her, just wondered if she knew. What are you doing down here anyway? We got in so late last night I know you’re tired,” Bryan asked, his expression immediately softening in an intimacy so readily apparent Sioux felt compelled to look away.

  Callie gestured toward the little baby. “I had intended to sleep in, but your offspring had other ideas.”

  Sioux couldn’t resist. She had an enormous soft spot for babies. She walked over to Callie and peeked into the sling to see tiny little Zadie Spencer looking up at her. Her enormous round eyes stared out boldly into the world.

  “Oh Callie may I hold her?” Callie happily handed the baby over and Sioux took her gingerly into her own hands.

  “I just love babies. I’ve been waiting forever for one of my friends to finally have one, but no dice so far,” Sioux sighed, inhaling the unmistakable sweetness of little Zadie’s baby smell.

  “Why wait for one of your friends? What about you?” Callie teased.

  “Oh no. I don’t think I’m mommy material.”

  “Really? You look pretty maternal to me,” Callie said, eyeing the way Sioux was holding the baby. “I’d say you look like a pro.”

  Heat rose in her face as Sioux shook her head again then looked up to find Thad staring at her with the oddest expression on his face. She wasn’t sure what the look meant but she felt the warm regard of his gaze and felt the heat rise in her face in response. She quickly lowered her eyes to the baby’s sweet little face.

  Thad couldn’t take his eyes off the sight of Sioux with the baby. Babies were not something he’d ever given much thought to, at least not his babies. Bryan and Jon both had kids so they were always underfoot and while he enjoyed them he’d never had a response like this. Like he wanted kids. With Sioux. He almost welcomed the distraction when Bryan drew him off to the other side of the stage while Callie and Sioux were talking.

  “So you decided not to listen to my advice, huh?” Bryan said.

  Thad finally managed to tear his gaze away from Sioux. “What advice?”

  “Sioux.”

  “What about her?” Thad asked through gritted teeth.

  “You’re sleeping with her,” Bryan said.

  “Why all of a sudden is everybody interesting in my sex life? Who told you?” Thad asked, making no effort to hide the exasperation in his tone.

  “Twist.”

  Thad glared at Twist who was behind his drum kit wearing a head set apparently oblivious to how close to death he was at the moment. “Seriously one of these days I’m going to have to kick the shit out of that guy.”

  Bryan shrugged. “I’ve done it lots of times. It doesn’t help. He’s a dick and always will be a dick.”

  Thad knew that, but still… “I am not. I repeat, not, sleeping with Sioux.”

  “She’s comes out of your room every morning. Hell I’ve seen her, so has Callie. You two are together all the time.”

  “I’m with you guys all the time and we’re not sleeping together,” Thad snapped.

  “Obviously you haven’t read some of the fan fiction out there about us,” Bryan said.

  “There’s not enough eye bleach in the world. I’m not sleeping with Sioux. We’re friends, and we’re working on some songs. She’s pulling together a CD.”

  “Do you plan to produce her?”

  Thad shrugged. “She hasn’t asked. I’ve never produced anyone.”

  “I think you should. You’ve got the chops. Expanding into production would be good for you. Good for your career too. You need to do more writing. I keep telling you, publishing is where the longevity and money is in music.”

  Thad nodded. They’d had similar conversations before. Bryan was a prolific songwriter and producer and he encouraged Thad to do the same.

  “That still doesn’t explain why she’s in your bed,” Bryan said just when Thad thought he’d successfully changed the subject.

  “Because she wants to be. Can we drop this? It’s none of your business, man.”

  Bryan stared at him for a long moment, but didn’t say anything, then turned to walk away, but Thad grabbed his arm.

  “By the way, what did happen at the VMAs?” Thad asked.

  “What?” Bryan turned toward him with a distracted frown.

  “You know, Sioux coming on to you. Did you take her up on it?”

  “Didn’t I already answer this question?” Bryan said.

  “Sure, but that was in front of B.T. and the guys. I just wanted to be sure…” Thad let the sentence trail off not sure what he wanted to know if anything.

  “Why don’t you ask Sioux since you two seem to be attached at the hip these days?”

  Thad rolled his eyes, but didn’t fall for the bait. “Because she doesn’t remember.”

  “You mean she claims it didn’t happen?” Bryan’s eyes widened in disbelief.

  “No, she doesn’t claim that at all, she says she doesn’t remember.”

  Bryan stroked his chin. “Well, I guess that’s hardly surprising. She was blazing. I was amazed she was able to stay on her feet at all.”

  “That’s what she said. So did you?”

  “Did I what? Let a minor who was wasted out of her mind blow me?”

  Thad nodded. Despite Bryan’s intense glare he was determined to know.

  “Aside for the moral issues raised by such a question, do you really think I’m an idiot? I’m no fan of prison.”

  “So, what did you do?”

  Bryan sighed. “What do you think I did? I took her to her mama.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “And for a man who’s not into a girl, you sure as hell are interested in her sex life. You’ve got it bad man. You’ve got it bad,” Bryan said, then he turned and walked back over to where Callie and Sioux were still chatting. Thad stood watching for a while, not re
ally wanting to deal with the implications of what his band mate had just said. And definitely not wanting to have anything else to do with Sioux and a baby, he walked over to pick up his guitar.

  Chapter Five

  “My boyfriend thinks this AA stuff is crap. He doesn’t think I’m an alcoholic and I can start drinking again.”

  Sioux tried to recall the name of the woman who was standing and speaking to the group. Annie? Emily? She was a pixieish redhead who wore her hair in a gamine cut. She shifted nervously from foot to foot as she faced the group of nine, including Sioux. This was Sioux’s second meeting with this group in Seattle. Thanks to Storm Crow’s adding shows in almost every city, she had enjoyed the luxury of meeting with some groups twice and the Chicago group three times. Last night had been particularly tough. It always was when she was tired. Their flight out of Chicago had been delayed twice. Finally Rocky had had to charter a plane for them. Small engine planes were Sioux’s absolute least favorite mode of travel. It had been nearly three in the morning before they arrived and they had a ten o’clock sound check. She tuned in as their leader Charlotte addressed the woman’s declaration. Amanda. That was her name, Amanda.

  “You told us what your boyfriend thinks. What do you think?”

  Amanda shoved her hands into the pockets of her loose-fitting jeans. Worn with a pair of high top sneakers and a tank top, her outfit accentuated her slim figure to the point of making her look like a young boy. “I don’t know. I mean, I think I should be able to have a glass of wine from time to time.”

  Sioux sighed. She knew this story all too well. Last night she would have killed for a glass of wine just to take the edge off the incredible stress she was under. But that was the scariest part of being an addict. Knowing she could never touch drugs or alcohol again. Though she really didn’t want to, she spoke up and said what she knew every other person in the room was thinking.

  “I don’t know about you, but I know for me that I can’t do it. I’d have a glass of wine and before the night was over I’d be looking for a connection.” Other heads around the group nodded in agreement. Now the pixie turned vicious. Amanda, who Sioux suspected was younger than herself, though she looked considerably older, turned to face her.