Laelia

by Ruth-Miriam Garnett

  “They’re lovely. You’re lovely. How long did it take to arrange everything?”

  “A few hours. How was your drive?”

  “Pleasant. No. I could barely stand it.”

  “There was traffic?”

  “No. You have to understand.”

  For several seconds neither spoke. Then Leighton spoke again, his voice rasping.

  “Rebecca. You have to understand. I have wanted to see you so badly. When I first saw you, I knew I belonged with you. I couldn’t explain it to myself, let alone to you. When you called, it was like my life started over. I know I can’t force you to do anything, to want me back—”

  “I do want you, Randall.”

  Rebecca took Leighton’s hand and led him to a windowless wall at the back of the greenhouse. Leaning against it, she pulled him against her. He immediately began kissing her while holding her face. His hands began roaming over her broad shoulders and down her back while he kissed her neck. When his lips glided down her throat to her neck, she found both his hands and placed them over her full breasts. Drawing back from her, he looked into her eyes. Her gray irises had darkened to midnight blue, and her tan skin reddened to bronze. She smiled at him, her lips parting to release even, heavy breaths. As he continued to gaze at her, he held her with one arm around her waist. With his free hand, he untied the cord around her dress and, reaching under the gauzy white cloth, raised the hem of her skirt above her hips. Leighton gasped as his hands felt the naked roundness of her hips, then again, as Rebecca forthrightly undid the clasp of his belt.

  By the end of their lovemaking, Leighton fell exhausted against Rebecca, his head leaning against her shoulder. Rebecca’s eyes darted in disbelief at how transformed the large, familiar space seemed to her. The white half-walls were barely visible in the dim light, and she could barely see the view out of the long windows into the backyard. Suddenly, thunder railed across the sky, followed by heavy rain.

  “This is the second time you’ve brought us bad weather,” Rebecca teased him. Leighton remained silent.

  “Randall.”

  “Yes, Rebecca.”

  “We really can’t do this on a regular basis. I want to, but I’m still married to Jake. We’re going to be divorced before long. I plan to divorce him, but for now, I need to make sure he’s comfortable where he’s going. I suppose you think I’m terribly dishonest.”

  “I don’t think anything, Rebecca. I’ve had three wives. I know how things can be in a marriage. I would never judge you. I have no right. I know how I feel about you, and I’m willing to wait awhile. Will you be able to come to see me soon?”

  “Yes, I’ll come. I wish I could fix you something to eat, but Lucy is in the house all day. Will you be all right?”

  “I’ll be all right. But I have to see you soon.”

  “Then we’ll make it soon.”

  Rebecca walked Leighton to his car and waved as he drove off.

  That evening, Rebecca soaked for a long time in a pine-oil bath. She scrubbed herself with olive soap, recalling Leighton’s scent and the release she felt after being with him. The clean smells filled her nostrils, adding to her feeling of calm. For over an hour Rebecca luxuriated in the warmth, then sat on the edge of the tub watching the water swirl slowly down the drain. She scooped up a handful and lifted it to her nose, reluctant to relinquish the smell that was so pleasurable for her.

  Rebecca lay in her bed, not yet sleepy, when she heard Claudia outside her door faintly calling to her.

  “Claudia? Come in, honey. I’m awake.”

  Claudia walked in, her outstretched hand holding a page of linen paper.

  “Rebecca, I wanted you to see this.”

  Rebecca took the page out of Claudia’s hand and began to read.

  My Darling Reuben,

  I cannot hear this anymore; I will not. As long as I have breath, you will not leave this house. It is hard enough for me to think of your leaving on that final day. Do you think I can bear to have this come any sooner than necessary? Nursing you is a burden I will gladly bear as long as I can see you smile at me and hear your voice. Your big girl Rebecca won’t hear of it, either. She works tirelessly, and besides herself, trusts only me to look after you. Do you honestly think there is any way I could convince her otherwise? You are my fate, and I am glad of it.

  Your loving wife,

  Mattie

  Rebecca glanced up and saw that Claudia’s eyes were wet. She placed the letter on her night table and pulled her sister beside her in bed.

  “Aren’t you happy they had that much?”

  “I am, Rebecca. But I am so selfish. I envy them. Maybe I don’t deserve to have a love like they had.”

  “That’s not for you to say, Claudia. Believe me, we get what the universe sends us when we open our hands.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Rebecca wasn’t ready to tell Claudia about her afternoon with Leighton. It was too fresh and private still. But she wanted to convey her awe of what had happened to her through no concerted effort of her own. After she had told her sisters it was possible for all of them to have what they desired, Leighton had come to her. In trying to keep their spirits up, she had achieved the far reaches of her own faith.

  “I always feel that if I plan carefully what I want to happen, I can make it happen. But some things we need we can’t plan or control. That doesn’t mean we can’t have them. It just means it’s out of our hands, in more powerful hands. It has nothing to do with being capable. You have to let go. Your faith is your power.”

  “How do you know this, Rebecca?”

  “I haven’t always. But I wouldn’t be telling you something I didn’t believe, now would I?”

  “No, you never have.”

  “Just don’t rule anything out. You’ll see. Go to sleep.”

  Rebecca kissed the already sleeping Claudia’s forehead.

  • • •

  Reverend Wilson’s sermon the next morning confirmed for Rebecca that he did not yet understand she had prompted a sequence of events intended to lead to his ouster. Without connecting the dots between Rebecca’s visit to his home, Claudia’s announcements, and Gracelyn’s play, he preached about women upholding their wedding vows “in sickness and in health,” and encouraged the women of the church to stand by their husbands in later years. Once she got the drift of his message, Rebecca tuned him out and began making plans. She knew intuitively she needed to coalesce a strong group of women at the church.

  The next morning at breakfast Rebecca instructed Claudia to announce an afternoon tea for the churchwomen at the Cates mansion.

  “We’ll have a whole gala that weekend, with the play on Saturday and the tea the next day. Lord knows, we need some lighthearted moments to share with our sisters in the faith.”

  “Yes, that is the Lord’s truth,” Claudia agreed. “Rebecca, I will use your very words when I make the announcement. And since Gracelyn will probably need to rest after her theatrical debut, I’ll take care of all the preparations.”

  “That’s so sweet of you Claudia. I’m sure Gracelyn appreciates that.”

  “Well, I appreciate what she’s doing with the children, using her talents that way. Anyway, you know I’m good at those little tea sandwiches with the crusts off the bread and the pink-and-green cheese spread and the thin cucumber slices. Rebecca, can we afford caviar? I imagine champagne would be a little worldly.”

  “We’ll save the champagne for when Wilson’s gone,” Rebecca said flatly.

  Gracelyn’s large eyes lifted to meet Rebecca’s, shifted briefly to Claudia’s, then went back to her oldest sister.

  “You think he’s really going to go?”

  “I think he’s really going to go. Now, don’t fret about it. Get that play finished and then get yourself some rest. Those creative juices need pampering.”

  Gracelyn smiled at both her sisters. “I couldn’t have done it without you both believing in me.”

  Rebecca smiled back, th
en continued her instruction to Claudia.

  “The weekend Gracelyn does her play and we have the tea, it will be three weeks since we took Bernard in. The week before, at morning service, you announce we’re taking Timothy up to Briney Memorial. That way, any fallout we can put to rest because the women will be guests in our home that afternoon. In case some of them want to start gossiping about us, it will be better to have them on our home turf. We’ll leave two days following, on Tuesday, get Timothy settled, and just make a week of it in Chicago. Gracelyn can relax at that book sale and you can do some shopping. I’ll be happy just to know when we come back our home will be peaceful.”

  “What about Jake?” Gracelyn asked earnestly.

  “Jake’s time is coming. No need rushing. The weeks go by fast.”

  “They sure do. It seems like Bernard just left here. But it’s been a lot longer, more than a few weeks. Isn’t that strange?”

  “Probably because you’ve been so busy. We’ve all been busy.”

  Rebecca’s brow furrowed momentarily before she spoke again.

  “Claudia, you make the point in your speech about Gracelyn wanting to witness to being a hospice widow when the women are gathered. And be sure to say that Pastor cannot be expected to take up all of the congregation’s time with our concerns.”

  Claudia’s concise nod let Rebecca know she had rapidly processed these instructions.

  As the week went by, Rebecca indulged her fantasies, her mind fully registering her feral desire for Leighton. She caught herself smiling at frequent daydreams, and by Thursday decided to call him. Pleased that he sounded so happy to hear from her, she invited him to come see her again Saturday morning. Both her sisters would leave the house early, Gracelyn off to her play rehearsal and Claudia to the dry cleaners and hours of shopping.

  Leighton’s car arrived at the Cates mansion at 10 A.M. Saturday. Following Rebecca’s instruction, he drove far down the driveway and stopped adjacent to the house, leaving room behind him for additional cars. Rebecca expected Wayne to arrive at noon and spend a few hours inspecting the hedges for parasites. Leighton’s car would not be noticeable even after Wayne left, as it was parked in the shadow cast by the house.

  Rebecca pulled swiftly back from Leighton, who enfolded her the moment he stepped through the front door.

  “Follow me,” she said softly but firmly, and turned to mount the front stairs.

  Rebecca climbed briskly, pleasantly aware of Leighton close behind her, his body warmth and smell increasing her excitement.

  “Here,” she directed, once they achieved the third-floor landing. Taking his hand, she led him the short distance down the hall.

  At first, Leighton’s eyes took in the tall, wide windows and sparse furnishings of Rebecca’s bedroom, then quickly returned to her face.

  “Everything looks like you. Beautiful and strong.”

  Rebecca, her gray eyes darkening, reached for his face, laying her open hand alongside his jaw. Taking her wrist, Leighton noted her thumping pulse.

  “Do we have time?”

  “I think we do. Lucy has Jake and Timothy out back. I told her I needed to rest today. She won’t disturb us. My sisters are out. They’ll be gone all day. No one will know. Are you comfortable here?”

  “I have nothing to hide.”

  Rebecca smiled at his frankness.

  “Randall, I do. It’s different for women. I have to be careful.”

  “I respect that, Rebecca. I’ll leave whenever you say. This time. You called me Randall. I love hearing you say my name.”

  Leighton kissed Rebecca slowly, letting his tongue spread over her lips, then loll inside her mouth. She sucked it in as far as it would go while he began unbuttoning her shirt. His large hands traveled inside the starched cotton caressing her shoulders; then the tips of his fingers ran lightly over the edge of her brassiere. Pulling back from her, he undid her buttons and allowed the garment to slip to the floor.

  “Do you ever wear lace?” he asked pointedly.

  “Never,” Rebecca responded flatly.

  “What about silk?”

  “No.”

  “If I brought you some things, would you wear them?”

  “I might.”

  “I would like you to.”

  Leighton slid both hands around Rebecca’s back and undid the clasp of her brassiere. Looking at her large round breasts for the first time, he drew an audible breath.

  “Only goddesses look like you, Rebecca. Did you know that?”

  “I want to lie down.”

  “I do too.”

  Their lovemaking lasted through the morning. Rebecca guided him, saying, “Here. Move your hand here. Put your mouth here.” Leighton touched her body as though he were creating it, molding her breasts, stomach, and thighs with his hands. They were able to climax together by the second time he entered her, and she stroked his back after he fell onto her, soon to be asleep.

  Rebecca knew that at noon Lucy would lock Jake and Timothy in their rooms and head downstairs to make sandwiches for them. She would rouse Leighton when Lucy was still in the kitchen. They could shower quickly, and when she heard Lucy mount the stairs with the lunch tray, Leighton could leave unnoticed. Rebecca thought how strange it was for her to be so calm, given their risk of discovery. But she was grateful for the peace she felt, and that everything between them could be tender and unhurried following their fierce coupling.

  • • •

  Sunday morning, Claudia pulled a crisp, short-sleeved linen dress from her closet and pulled it skillfully over her head without mussing her makeup. Turning back and forth in front of her full-length mirror, she decided a little extra blush on her cheeks would complement the lavender color of the dress and look nice with her just-begun tan. Primping usually helped with her nervousness, but she noted with mild surprise that this morning she had none. She mulled over her announcement, completely comfortable with Rebecca’s instructions and confident that she would remember everything.

  The church people were eager for her to stand up now, just as Rebecca had predicted. She was amazed how warmly they received her, and wondered why it took her so long to realize that her chic wardrobe and quiet glamour could work for her or against her. It seemed that now, with her reaching out to the congregation almost weekly, people saw past the things they had once envied and distrusted and fully embraced her. Claudia felt powerful for the first time in a long time. She was grateful to Rebecca for opening this path to her.

  Claudia was excited about this morning, as well as the remainder of the week. Next Saturday morning she would go hear Hillary Clinton speak, and that evening, Gracelyn would put on her play in the church’s basement auditorium. The following afternoon, on Sunday, she and her sisters would host their tea for the church women at the Cates mansion. She didn’t remember being this excited since she left Chicago. Claudia realized that along with her excitement she had begun to feel a new affection for the people of her home community. She was always polite, but her shyness had sometimes kept her from extending herself to people. Since making the church announcements, she had grown more confident, noting how the somewhat plain people of her hometown responded to her movie-star bearing. Her style created a small sensation for her audience, and for them her presentations were a fashion event. Claudia noticed the two or three women who began to copy her simple hairdo, hatless style, and the subtle neutrals of her dresses and strong colors of her accessories. During her years in Chicago, she had relished being noticed and setting trends. Having the same thing happen for the first time in Peoria delighted her.

  “Brothers and Sisters,” a fully composed Claudia began her statement, “my sisters and I have another heartache and we need you to pray with us and for us. We are blessed that my brother-in-law Bernard is resting comfortably in his last days, but now, under the advisement of his doctor, we’re faced with placing my own husband, Timothy, in a rest home. Next week, we’ll be traveling to Chicago and would appreciate having your prayers f
or our safety and for the courage to face this transition in this phase of our lives. We appreciate every kindness you have shown us, and in return would be so honored to have the women of our church attend an afternoon tea in our home next Sunday. This will be the day following my sister Gracelyn’s play, and I hope it will not be too much activity for all of you. Gracelyn is happy to give of herself to our young people, but in her heart she also desires to witness to the women of our church about being a hospice widow. Perhaps, when we are gathered, there are others of you who have hearts that need unfolding in the company of caring fellowship. We feel this is one way we can minister to each other, since we know that Pastor cannot be expected to take up all of the congregation’s time with our concerns.”

  Upon hearing her sister’s speech, Rebecca leaned her head forward to cover a slight smile. This was perfection beyond even her high expectations of Claudia. Timothy’s impending committal to Briney Memorial would be submerged in the excitement of the play and a luxurious tea the next day at the mansion.

  Rebecca was sure the women grasped the point that they were left to comfort themselves, their pastor engrossed in other priorities. “Like his wife’s breast size,” she muttered inaudibly.

  Sunday evening, the Cates women ate a meal of chicken, which Gracelyn had marinated in garlic and wine vinegar and covered with a rich tomato sauce flavored with Dijon mustard and white wine. She spooned the savory mixture over wide, flat egg noodles on a serving tray and prepared another tray with asparagus covered with fluffy wine-enhanced egg whites.

  “Gracelyn, this is wonderful,” Claudia said, trying the main course and the asparagus eagerly.

  “I thought you would like it. I know we’re in Provence with the chicken, and I think we’re still in the south of France with the asparagus, but don’t ask me to swear it. Anyway, we deserve pampering today. I have a feeling everything is going to be spectacular for us very soon. What do you think, Rebecca?”

  “If this meal is any indication, we’re on a serious roll. I’m praying for all of us, even the men. Gracelyn, honey, you go put your feet up after we finish. I’ll do the cleanup this evening.”