When Stars Go Out

by Grey, Ransom;

  This was on his mind one evening as he walked with Lucy, Nathan, and Katy back from supper at the Mushroom. Dusk had fallen over the city below, and shadows crept up the Hill as the sun sank behind a bank of clouds, turning the wispy shrouds to a spread of crystalline orange and pink, like the frozen sherbet bar Nathan was finishing. As they turned up the North Stairs, Reed glanced out over the western glory, burying his hands in the warmth of his coat pockets.

  “You know,” he said suddenly, “it’s really weird how many people around here act like they know Elijah. I mean, he moved off a while ago, and there are so many people here. I don’t understand why anybody still knows who he is.” Reed wiggled his fingers in the flannel lining of his pockets. “Funny thing, most of what I hear about him has Reagan mixed in somewhere, too. I thought they ran with different crowds.”

  “Hmm…” said Lucy. She was gathering her golden hair with both hands to keep the wind from tossing it about her face. “They usually did, but some factors can’t be helped.” She glanced at him. “Has Reagan told you about the way things were before you got here?”

  Reed shook his head. “Not really.”

  “Interesting.” She gave up, shaking her hair loose in the cold breeze. “I thought you would have figured it out by now since it kinda involves you.”

  “Yeah, kinda,” Nathan agreed, licking a melted stream of orange off his thumb. “Might as well go ahead and tell him.”

  Reed eyed them in the fading light. “Tell me what?”

  Lucy hesitated before explaining. “Well, before he moved out with Cody, Elijah was kind of a celebrity in the Dorms. You know, he’s good-looking and super nice and all that. He was actually more popular than Reagan.” She reached the top of the steps and turned to face him. “In fact, Elijah was Reagan’s other roommate—the one you replaced.”

  Reed stopped dead at the top of the staircase and stared at her. “What? I’m not their first one?”

  “’Fraid not,” Nathan affirmed, sucking his Popsicle stick clean. “It was Reagan, Riley, and Elijah in a room till the end of last year.”

  Reed was thunderstruck. He looked away, opening his mouth and then shutting it again. “Elijah and Reagan as roommates? I don’t even know how to process that. I bet all the girls…”

  “They did,” said Katy, stepping aside to let a group pass down the stairs. “That’s one of the reasons Elijah moved off. It was intense. He was getting hit on non-stop.”

  “But he left? Why in the world?”

  “He didn’t want it,” said Nathan simply. He tossed his empty stick into a nearby trashcan and turned to meet Reed’s bewildered eyes. “He’s like that. He loves people, and people love him; but he doesn’t like being turned into an idol. Everybody knew him back then and kinda worshiped him. You know how the Dorms are about looks and appearance.”

  “Oh,” said Reed. He moved into a walk again, still not sure what to think. “I imagine Reagan enjoyed it, though.”

  Lucy coughed. “You better believe it. He and Elijah got so much attention. You just hear about them together a lot because they lived in the same room. They were actually total opposites.”

  Reed was still musing over this new information a few minutes later as he mounted the stairs to his hall. It was a surprise to say the least: someone he’d thought to be a random nobody was actually the biggest icon the Hill had ever known.

  And roommates with Reagan? It was like putting two characters from different fictional universes together. Why had no one ever told him? Elijah had said nothing about it; Reagan never mentioned it. Reed frowned. There was something else in all this, something nobody wanted to tell him.

  He opened the hall door to find a large crowd of boys blocking his way. They didn’t notice Reed as they talked and laughed at something he couldn’t see. Something in the center of the group held their attention; curious, Reed pushed his way in.

  In the middle of the hall, a boy crouched on the floor with a can of spray paint in his hand, demonstrating his artistic skills on the tiles. Reed studied the artwork for a moment before he recognized an unfinished attempt at a portrait of Director Connors, the face blown ridiculously out of proportion and done in a sickly green and black. Reed couldn’t tell who the artist was, however, until he looked up. It was Sam. Reed instinctively rubbed the back of his neck.

  The crowd was enjoying the show. Even Reagan stood nearby, throwing in occasional critiques and grinning. Reed had to admit the picture was an obvious but ludicrous likeness. Still, he couldn’t believe Sam’s stupidity. He shouldered his way into the crowd and called out over the noise, “Sam, what are you doing?”

  Sam glanced up and brushed his hand across his forehead, leaving a streak of green through his blond hair. “What does it look like?” he grinned.

  Reed pushed past the last few boys and crouched down next to the picture.

  “But why?”

  “’Cause Dylan said it would be really funny.” Sam bent back to his work. “And he’s the second coolest guy on the hall.”

  Reed pondered that for a moment. “I thought you said Will was the second coolest guy.”

  “Not after that stunt Dylan pulled two nights ago,” Sam retorted. “He’s awesome.”

  Reed stood up slowly. Sam’s last shenanigan and Riley’s response suddenly made more sense. He stepped back into the crowd; he was in no mood for this tonight. He turned to leave. As he did, he almost bumped into someone behind him. It was Hunter. Reed had kept up with the other boy after their chance encounters, and Hunter now spent a lot of time on Reed’s hall. Reed couldn’t blame him; most people avoided Dorm One when they could. Hunter caught Reed’s eye and smirked.

  “A dumb thing to do, but not bad, eh?”

  Reed snorted. “He’s not known for his intelligence.”

  “I’ll say. Idiot, he’s made the glasses too round!”

  Reed didn’t answer. He turned and shoved through the crowd toward his room.

  He was never sure how word of the incident found its way up the chain of command but, by that night, everyone on the Hill had heard it. The next day when Reed entered the hall, he found Sam again on the floor, this time scrubbing up the dried paint. Michael supervised from the doorway. According to rumor, Director Connors imposed several other consequences as well.

  The episode was forever attached to Sam’s name. Apparently, he was notorious for a number of idiotic exploits in the past, but this latest one topped them all. The mere mention of his name was enough to bring a sneer or a laugh.

  At first, Reed shied away from all the talk. The blatant ridicule and mocking laughter made him uncomfortable. But then, he reasoned, it was the truth—most of it, anyway. And some of it was really funny. Besides, nobody else was hanging back; they all thought it was great. It was like having an inside joke with everyone on the Hill. Besides, it wasn’t like he particularly cared for Sam anyway.

  He “tested the waters,” so to speak—hesitantly at first, but then more boldly as he warmed to the idea. Everyone else was doing it, so why shouldn’t he? It didn’t bother him as much as he’d thought it might, and he found he could enjoy it.

  But his pleasure was short-lived.

  Chapter 16

  It was a Saturday, barely a week after the paint incident, that Reed ran into Elijah in the Dorms. Winter was beginning to loosen its grip on Nature’s throat, and the earliest forerunners of spring were appearing on the Hill. Tiny flowers of timid purple and yellow peered out of the dead turf, and early buds sprinkled a few of the trees. Though the cold still held the upper hand, the early afternoon had warmed to a milder temperature than normal. Reed was outside catching a little sun when he spied the other boy.

  Elijah was alone, taking the sidewalk that cut through the center of the Dorms, dressed in jeans and a navy hoodie. Reed had never seen him outside the straight-from-work setting at the apartments. It was a rare opportunity, perhaps the chance to get some answers to the many questions Reed had about him.

  “Hey!”
he called, quickening his pace. “Mind if I walk with you?”

  Elijah turned and smiled. “No, not at all.”

  Reed caught up and fell in step beside him. “What’re you up to?”

  “I was going to visit friends outside the city. You’re welcome to come if you want.”

  Reed had been hoping he would ask. He had nothing else to do, and he’d been looking for an opportunity to find out more about Elijah. They had never spent time together apart from the rest of the group.

  He looked out over the valley and pursed his lips as if weighing his choices.

  “Sure,” he said at last. “Why not? If you don’t mind, I mean.”

  “Not a bit.” Elijah slid his hands into the stitched front pockets of his hoodie. “I hope you don’t mind walking. It’s a pretty good ways.”

  Reed didn’t mind.

  They turned onto an adjoining sidewalk that ran north and east off the Hill and out of the city. But, before they were even out from between the Dorms, someone called out behind them.

  “Yo, ’Lijah!”

  Reed recognized the voice immediately, and a soft groan escaped his lips. He didn’t want to turn around, but he did, only because Elijah did first. Sam was coming toward them, trying to look nonchalant and failing miserably.

  “Hi, Sam.” Elijah smiled. “How’s it going?”

  Reed was a little surprised these two knew each other. He wondered how Elijah could sound so genuinely pleased to see the other boy.

  “Oh, ya know, I’m hanging.” Sam shrugged. He was trying to sound cool. Reed didn’t think it went so well. “I haven’t seen you in a while. I guess we’ve both been busy.” He reached them and pretended to notice Reed for the first time. “Oh, and it’s Reed, too! This is quite a crowd.”

  “Two’s company,” said Reed dryly.

  “Whatchya guys up to?” Sam hung a pair of bug-eyed sunglasses on the front of his striped shirt, apparently missing Reed’s remark. Reed felt slightly disappointed.

  “We were just headed off the Hill to visit some friends,” Elijah explained, half unzipping his hoodie and pushing up his sleeves. “How about you? You got something planned?”

  “Oh,” Sam waved a hand, “nothing much. I’ll probably work on a special assignment my boss gave me. He said nobody could do it like I could. After that, I’ll probably just hang with the rest of the cool peeps. I got asked to go to the Boulevard later with some of them. Did you, Reed?”

  Reed blinked, stung. “No, actually,” he said. “I thought I’d stay here and graffiti the floor with the other losers.”

  The jab was unmistakable. Reed felt Elijah’s eyes on him, but he chose to avoid them. Sam, however, grinned.

  “Really? I might be able to give you a painting lesson sometime. Ya know, Michael said mine would have been pretty good if it hadn’t been painted on the floor. Maybe I’ll do it on the wall next time. Anywho, I’ve got places to be. See ya.”

  “Sure, Sam,” Elijah answered. “Take care.”

  Sam swaggered off, and Reed and Elijah turned back onto their original course. They walked in silence. Reed was beginning to wish he hadn’t made that comment in front of Elijah. Reagan and his friends would have thought it was hilarious, but it seemed out of place now. He watched his feet and tried not to step on the cracks in the concrete.

  Elijah finally spoke. “That wasn’t very nice, Reed.”

  Reed kicked at the sidewalk. “I know. But he kinda started it. And besides, he’s just Sam.”

  “You think he was insulting you? I think he genuinely hoped you were going to be there. He admires you, Reed. It’s really obvious.”

  “Sam? Me?” Reed was taken back at the suggestion and stepped on a crack by mistake. “You mustn’t know him! Did you hear what he was saying? Everything was all about hisself and how cool he is.”

  His grammar always slipped when he got worked up or very uncomfortable.

  “Exactly,” said Elijah calmly. “He wants to make you think he’s cooler than he is. He talks big about himself because he feels inferior and scared. He wants to impress you.”

  Reed wasn’t sure how to respond to this idea and even less sure that he liked it. He pulled at his ear in agitation. “But it’s not just me. He’s so annoying to everybody! He’s always doing the stupidest stuff, and he sucks up to somebody different every day.”

  “That’s because he’s looking for affirmation.” There was something sympathetic and sad in Elijah’s voice. He was looking away at the ring of misty blue hills surrounding the valley. “It’s all a front. He wants to fit in so badly that he tries all these different ways to get attention. He gets it, all right, but it’s not the kind he wants.” The blue eyes turned to Reed’s face. “Reed, he’s so unhappy. People like him always are. Whenever somebody’s rattling and making that much noise, it means there’s something broken on the inside.”

  Now Reed really wasn’t sure how to respond. He tugged at his ear again. “But why me? Why doesn’t he go after Reagan or somebody like that?”

  “Maybe he just wants to be your friend. Maybe he thought you were different. Everybody else ridicules and scorns him, and perhaps he thought you wouldn’t.”

  Reed kept his eyes down.

  Elijah added softly, “Just because everybody else is doing something doesn’t mean you have to do it, too.”

  Reed stuffed his hands into his pockets. “But he didn’t seem to care about what I said,” he tried.

  “He’s been cut down so many times that he’s learned to hide his feelings. He didn’t look like it, maybe, but he cared. Words always go deep, especially cruel ones from people we don’t expect.”

  Reed bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. He was starting to see the point. Suppose Elijah was right. What if Sam actually had hoped Reed would be in that group tonight? To get a thrust like that from a supposed friend... He looked at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s good, but it’s not me you need to say that to.”

  “I know.” That was all he said, but Elijah seemed to understand.

  By now, the Hill and the city had fallen behind them, and they were walking a gravel country road instead of a concrete street. Bare woods lined the way, broken by stretches of brown field and white board fence. An occasional house dotted the landscape, but they were few and far off the road. The two were alone with the early spring.

  Elijah inhaled deeply and broke off a twig from a nearby tree. “It’s wonderful to be out of the city, isn’t it?”

  Reed dared to glance at him for the first time. “Sure,” he replied.

  After a few more minutes of silent walking, they turned up a white rock driveway thickly overhung with trees.

  “So exactly who are we visiting?” Reed had neglected to ask this before.

  “It’s a family we met in our first few weeks here,” Elijah answered, flicking the twig from between his fingers. “They have a small farm and, well, not much else. All of us in the group come out here whenever we can ’cause they need help around the place and we need to get out of the smog.”

  They emerged from the tree-lined driveway into a spacious yard, brown but sprinkled with tiny white flowers. A wall of woods blocked out the rest of the world on three sides. In the center sat a little gabled house—low, brick, and simple. Behind it lay a farm, mostly sloping fields and tree-lined fencerows. Not far from the house, a weather-stained barn and white board fence presided over a large pond. It was a pleasant place.

  “Yijah!” cried an excited voice.

  A small figure shot around the corner of the house and bounded across the yard toward them. Without a word, Elijah dropped to his knees and threw open his arms. A boy, perhaps three or four years old, flung himself upon the teen, throwing his arms around Elijah’s neck. “I knew you woulds come,” he said in a lisp. “Mommy said you mightn’t.”

  “Of course I would!” Elijah loosened the boy’s arms so he could breathe. “How are you? Have you been a good boy?”

  The
child pulled back and looked him gravely in the face. “I twying,” he said somberly. “But… but I not always. Mommy says I been a good boy today, though.”

  Elijah’s expression matched the boy’s in solemnity. “Well, that’s good. You just keep working at it till you grow up.”

  The little boy pondered this, and a look of shy sweetness stole over his face. “When I grows up,” he lisped, “I wants to be just yike you.” He tightened his grip and buried his face in Elijah’s shoulder.

  Elijah grinned and wrapped both his arms around the boy. “Aww… that’s so nice! But, when you grow up, I want you to be just like Jesus.”

  The little boy nodded, his face still buried in the navy hoodie. “Him, too.”

  Reed stood off to the side and watched this little scene, feeling awkward. He didn’t like kids, and he wished Elijah wouldn’t make a big deal about this one, even if he was fairly cute. Dark hair set off a pair of wide brown eyes, and his features were adorably serious. He and Elijah made quite a pair. Watching them, Reed felt the familiar sensation stealing over him that he was locked outside a bright window, looking in.

  The little boy at last lifted his face away from Elijah’s shoulder and caught sight of Reed for the first time. He blinked, mouth slightly ajar, at the unfamiliar figure.

  Elijah suddenly remembered his guest and turned back to him. “Reed, I want you to meet my friend, Ethan. Ethan, Reed came to help us today.”

  “Hello,” Reed said obligingly.

  The little boy put two fingers in his mouth and looked down.

  “Aren’t you going to say something?” prompted Elijah. Ethan shook his head and hid his face again.

  “Well, fine then,” Elijah laughed, and he hoisted the boy up in his arms.

  As he did, a slender silver chain dropped out of the collar of his white t-shirt. It had been invisible, hidden under the material, but the movement swung it out in plain sight. A pendant of some sort dangled down in the V of Elijah’s unzipped hoodie. It caught Reed’s eye immediately; Elijah didn’t seem like the necklace-wearing type. The pendant was an odd shape, too, unrecognizable at first glance.