by Ava Manello
She looks disgusted at the idea but doesn’t say no. I think she’s resigned herself to just doing what she’s told today. I miss the fire of her usual retorts.
I head back to my room for my own shower, although mine will need to be a cold one. My hard on didn’t dissipate all night knowing that beneath that blanket she was wearing nothing more than a strip of black lace. I’m seriously in need of releasing this tension.
Chapter Thirty Six
Sally
I’ve got a few minutes before Alex comes back to escort me to breakfast so I log onto the dating site to see if I have any more messages.
There are a couple of new messages from guys I’m not familiar with and they get quickly deleted. Do they not read profiles? They’re after one night stands and are a bit too graphic in what they’d like to do with me. I block them while I’m at it.
I smile when I see another message from James.
Morning beautiful, hope you slept well. How’s Edinburgh treating you?
I tell him that Edinburgh has treated me to my first, and last whisky hangover. He sends an ‘lol’ message in return. Very helpful James. Not. I send a ‘pffft’ in response. We’re normally much more articulate than that.
I’ll be back in York in a week or so. Think you will be too. Do you fancy meeting up for a quiet drink?
Shit. How do I respond to that? Part of me wants to meet James. We connect on so many levels, have a lot of things in common, and share the same sense of humor. But part of me feels safe and confident behind the screen. Would that translate into meeting him for real?
I’m not sure. I love our chats on here, but I still don’t even know what you look like? You could be Quasimodo for all I know. Lol. x
I hope he takes that the right way. He hasn’t replied by the time Alex knocks on my door to take me to breakfast. I’m not sure whether that makes me relieved or disappointed.
Chapter Thirty Seven
Sally
Tiny is a little the worse for wear as well this morning, as are most of the guys with the exception of Alex. Even the normally sober Eric looks a little green around the gills today.
Because he’s hung-over Tiny decides to hit the heavy weights in an attempt to sweat it off. That means he delegates my training to Alex.
Alex is wearing a tight white vest, and short black shorts. I may be hung-over, but I’m not dead and my internal voice is having a field day telling me what she’d like to do to that body in bed.
This is going to be a long session. I groan. Luckily Alex mistakes it for a hangover groan.
We’re fine starting the routine off as normal with the treadmill and the cardio stretches. I’m even starting to feel slightly less embarrassed about them now. That’s partly helped because I’m already starting to look a little more toned than when we started, and for some reason there are a lot of large people in the gym this morning.
Alex passes me the boxing gloves and puts the pads on his hands. This might not be too bad. Perhaps I can use this boxercise set to exorcise some of my sexual frustration.
I think I must have misheard Alex, so ask him to repeat himself.
“I’m not Quasimodo you know.” What the hell does he mean? I continue punching side-to-side trying to figure out what he just said.
He realizes I don’t understand him and continues.
“I’m JamesT89.” My punches slow a little as understanding begins to dawn.
“But you can’t be!” I state. I increase the speed of the punches, but now I’m putting a lot more force into them.
My brain is too messed up to understand what he’s trying to tell me. It can’t be what I think it is.
“We’ll be back in York in a week, and I can ask you out properly then.”
It can’t be, but it is. Alex is JamesT89, the anonymous guy that I’ve been chatting to on the dating site for the last few weeks. That’s why he has that funny expression on his face whenever the dating site is mentioned. That’s why he doesn’t have a profile photo. I go back through our conversations, trying to see how I didn’t spot it. He was clever; he never lied. I just interpreted a lot of what he said in the wrong context.
Then another thought dawns, just as I’m hitting an upper cut thrust to the pads.
“But you can’t be. You’re gay!” I state confidently.
Alex drops his hands at the word gay, surprised. Unfortunately for Alex my brain hasn’t quite caught up and my left hand continues the path of the upper cut movement it was in and connects with his chin. The force knocks him backwards into the wall. He bangs his head and slides down the wall into a heap.
Oh my god! I think I’ve killed him. I stand there looking down at the crumpled form and start screaming for Tiny at the top of my voice.
Chapter Thirty Eight
Sally
Tiny comes rushing over just as Alex is trying to rise to his feet.
“What the hell happened?” Tiny asks me. I flinch under his stare. He looks furious. He helps Alex the rest of the way to his feet. Alex is rubbing the back of his head where it hit the wall.
“I hit him.” I whisper.
“I can see that Sally, but why?” I’m still a little too shocked to understand quite what just happened.
“He moved the pads.” I offer petulantly.
“She thinks I’m gay.” Alex mutters. I’m so relieved I haven’t killed him I sob.
Tiny just looks confused. “But you are gay you daft lad. Let’s get you looked over.” He reaches for Alex’s arm to guide him to the front desk but it’s rudely brushed away.
“What the fuck?” Alex splutters. “Why does everyone suddenly think I’m fucking gay?” He’s a bit cross to say the least.
Tiny ignores Alex and starts to drag him to the front desk, asking for their first aider.
The first aider quickly arrives and takes Alex and Tiny into the coffee area to check out Alex’s head. I’m left standing in reception looking like a lost soul.
“Are you alright miss?” the employee on the desk asks me.
“Erm. I think so, just a little shocked and surprised is all.” I’m trying to peer through the tiny window set in the door but can’t get the angle right.
“Don’t worry about it. It happens all the time, simple slip of concentration. He’ll be fine.” She assures me. “Go on through, grab yourself a coffee with plenty of sugar. It’s good for the shock.” She gestures towards the coffee lounge where they’ve taken Alex.
I’m not sure I can go in there right now. I’m struggling to take in what Alex told me just before I almost knocked him out. He can’t be James. James is a guy on a dating site. James isn’t gay.
Suddenly it all becomes too much for me. I need to get out of here. I grab the contents of my locker and head off back to the hotel; I’ll shower there. I can’t be here right now.
I’m almost back at the hotel when my mind starts playing tricks on me again. I’m convinced that I see Gary walking towards me, a scowl on his face. I blink to clear the vision. He’s disappeared, if he was ever there.
Instead, rushing towards me from the hotel is Guido.
“Sally, thank god you’re okay.” He sounds so relieved. “What possessed you to come back on your own? You know you need one of us with you at all times.”
“Oh fuck off, Guido. I’m so sick of all this macho bullshit you lot keep coming out with. I’m a fucking grown woman who’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.” I’m furious. I know even as I’m saying the words that they’re too harsh and I see the truth of it as Guido’s face falls. I know I should apologize, but I can’t. Right now I just need to get back to my room and try and work out what the hell is going on.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Sally
The pounding on my door won’t go away. I try and ignore it but it just keeps going on and on. I hear Tiny’s voice above it.
“Sally, open the bloody door. I know you’re in there. Sally.”
Reluctantly, I give up. He’s not going
to go away and the sooner I get this over and done with the better. I know he’s going to be furious with me, first for hitting Alex so hard he almost passed out, and then for leaving the gym on my own.
I open the door slowly; it’s too slow for Tiny as he pushes against it to get into the room quicker.
“Nice to see you too.” I mutter sarcastically.
“I could kill you, you stupid woman.” He glares at me. “Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again. Do you know how scared I was?” Oh, he’s chosen to lead with that rather than me almost knocking his friend out. That’s interesting.
“I’m a grown woman Tiny. I can take care of myself. I’m tired of being treated like a bloody naughty child. I’ve done nothing wrong, and yet I feel like I’m being continually punished.” I glower.
“Sally, we’re just trying to keep you safe. We care about you is all.” His face falls a little. Damn. I hate it when he looks like that. It makes me feel like a right bitch.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it. I just couldn’t stay there any longer.” I feel the bed behind my knees and collapse down onto it.
“Aren’t you going to ask how Alex is?” he looks at me.
“Nope, I assume he’s fine or you wouldn’t be here berating me.” I still sound like a petulant child.
“He’s going to be fine. He’ll have a bit of a bump on the back of his head for a few days that will be a bit sore but he’s lucky you didn’t give him a black eye.” He laughs at that last bit. “Eric would have killed him for turning up to a show with a black eye.”
I giggle, but it’s more of a relieved, nervous giggle than anything.
“Good.” That’s the only word I can think of right now. I’m still trying to get my head around the whole Alex/James scenario.
Part of me is relieved that they’re one and the same but the other part of me, that other part is furious at the deception.
“That’s all you’ve got to say? He told me what happened. I think you two need to talk.” Tiny stands in front of me, towering over me as I’m sat on the bed.
“There’s nothing to talk about. He deceived me and he’s gay. I’ll get over it.” I huff.
“Yeah. Well. Turns out I might have been misinformed.” Tiny looks guilty as I look up at him.
“Misinformed about what?”
“Misinformed about the fact that Alex is gay.” He mumbles. “Turns out he’s absolutely not gay and has it pretty bad for you.” Tiny laughs. I look up at him in surprise.
Did he really just say that Alex isn’t gay? I must have misheard him.
“So, will you talk to him? Please” Tiny pleads.
“What is this? Some kind of playground fun? Your best mate fancies a girl and sends you to tell her?” I’m a little indignant now. The whole thing just smacks of the school playground boys mentality. “Not today, Tiny. Not today.” I mutter. “Not anytime soon. Can you leave me alone now please?”
My head is still fuzzy from last night’s alcohol. That must be it. In fact, I almost convince myself I’m dreaming this whole silly episode until I pinch myself. Ouch. That bloody hurt.
“Sally.” Tiny is pleading with me. This huge giant of a man is pleading with me. I stay resolved.
“No. I don’t want to see anyone right now. I’ve got some thinking to do.”
I stand and gently push Tiny towards the door, grateful that he allows it. I’d not be able to move him otherwise.
“Just give him a chance Sally.” He begs. “It’s bad enough his friends made such a huge mistake. Don’t let him lose you as well.” He places a gentle kiss on my forehead as he leaves the room.
Chapter Forty
Sally
I must have dozed off as I’m woken by the ping of the message app on my iPad. Part of me doesn’t want to open it. I suspect I know who it will be, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it.
I’ve lusted after him since almost the first time I met him. But lusting after someone you think you can’t have is a whole different ballgame to lusting after someone who apparently wants you too. That makes it scary. That makes it real.
Sure enough it’s a message from James.
I’m sorry. I didn’t know the guys thought I was gay! I just didn’t want to rush you and scare you away. I wanted to wait until we were home and we could do this properly. I never meant to deceive you. Please talk to me. xxx
I don’t know how to reply. Right now I’m scared. I’m scared that for once in my life I might actually have a chance at being happy. And yes, that is scary. Because if I’m honest with myself, I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy before.
I’m scared that if I turn down this opportunity, then I might never get another one. I’m torn.
I pick up the phone and dial the internal extension. He answers on the second ring.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
“I’ll be right there.” He hangs up.
Moments later there’s a knock on my door. I open it to let Tiny in. He looks at me with such compassion in his eyes that a stray tear starts to fall down my cheek.
“I don’t know what to do.” I cry.
“It’s okay sweet girl. We’ll make it right, I promise.”
He pulls me into a hug, and in his large, muscled arms I feel safe and loved. I know if anyone can help me sort this out, this bear of a man can.
He sits on the bed and draws me onto his lap. We spend the rest of the afternoon talking; all the while he’s running his hand up and down my back, soothing me like a scared child.
He reminds me that Alex is a good guy; obviously his friends got it totally wrong. Tiny is beside himself that he misjudged his friend for so long. He can’t even remember who told him that Alex was gay in the first place. But Alex doesn’t go off with women after the shows, he never talks about women in fact, and Tiny as he puts it, put two and two together and came up with five.
He also explains that it was him, Tiny, who warned all the guys off around me. He was only trying to protect me, and hadn’t got a clue Alex liked me. That’s why Alex had been contacting me as James on the dating site. He wasn’t breaking Tiny’s rule, he was just waiting till the tour was over and he could approach me without betraying his friend.
“Why James?” I ask.
“It’s his middle name. It was easier for him to approach you anonymously. He was scared you wouldn’t feel the same and it would be less humiliating if you knocked him back and didn’t know it was him.”
I can understand that.
“I don’t know what to do Tiny? Help me?” I beg.
Tiny looks at me. “Do you like him that way?”
“A lot” I nod my head as I answer.
“Then my advice sweet girl is go for it, see what happens. It might not work out, but then again it might. Life’s too short. If you get a chance like this then seize it with both hands.”
It’s good advice. Tiny hesitates before asking the next question.
“Can I ask? Does it bother you that he’s a stripper?” I take my time to think about it before I answer.
“If you’d asked me before I came on this tour if I’d date a stripper, I’d have said hell no. But you guys are different. I mean I wouldn’t go near Guido with a barge pole, I’d be scared I’d catch something nasty, but I don’t think of Alex as a stripper. He’s more of a dancer to me. I’ve watched him rehearse. What he does is art, not sleaze.”
Tiny lets out a breath of relief. “Then give it a shot girl. You’re two of my favorite people. I think you’d be good together.”
I give Tiny a hug as he leaves. I feel more settled now. More confident in what I’m about to do.
When I open the door to let him out I find Alex slumped against the wall next to my door.
“How long have you been there?” I ask.
“Since Tiny came in. I followed him down.” He looks defeated.
“Oh.” I don’t know what else to say.
Suddenly a thought pops into my head. “If you’re not gay the
n who was the skank leaving your room the other morning?” I remember back to the scantily clad female I’d seen leaving his room.
Alex looks confused for a moment, and then recognition lights up his features.
“She was here to do a sports massage. I was suffering a bit after spending so much time in the gym with you and Tiny.” He smiles.
His smile lights up his whole face. His eyes sparkle when he smiles, and there’s almost a dimple there as well.