Sex & The Immortal Bad Boy

by Stephanie Rowe

  “You’re a virgin? How is that possible?”

  Paige shrugged. “Satan created me, I went through Rivka training, got caught up in a battle to save the world, then discovered I was poison to anything I touched. I’ve been a little busy.” She paused. “So, now you see why our kissing is a bad idea? Kissing leads to sex, and then sex with you, Mr. Damned, would pretty much cancel out the last pure thing in my being.” She made a face. “So, your virtue is safe with me. Which is too bad, really, because that kiss was awesome.”

  Jed leaned forward. “In that case, I have to warn you.”

  His voice had suddenly become husky, and something curled low inside her. “Warn me about what?”

  “I like touching you. Kissing you, too.” His gaze was dark again, his jaw tense. “I’m not going to try to seduce you, but if you throw yourself in my arms and wrap those long legs of yours around me like you did earlier . . .” His gaze settled on hers. “I’m not made of steel, sweetheart.”

  RAVES FOR STEPHANIE ROWE’S IMMORTALLY SEXY SERIES!

  HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME HOT

  “4½ Stars! TOP PICK! Wacky and downright funny . . . Snappy dialogue and offbeat humor zip this paranormal romp along. It’s definitely the author’s best book to date and one guaranteed to make you laugh and gasp.”

  —Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine

  “I am positive that paranormal fans . . . will find this a delightful, funny book.”

  —TheRomanceReadersConnection.com

  “A lighthearted romp . . . filled with plenty of action. Fantasy romance fans will enjoy the latest amusing battle of the souls (soulless?) on hell and earth.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  “5 Stars! Becca and Nick are thoroughly engaging; it’s been a long time since I’ve read a romance where the leading couple were so perfectly matched.”

  —CurledUp.com

  MUST LOVE DRAGONS

  “Hilarious . . . Rowe’s wacky secondary characters are back in full force: the shape-shifting Goblet with attitude; a lovesick Satan; Iris, the touch-me-not object of his affection; and Becca, Satan’s right-hand woman. Rowe’s blissfully bizarre paranormal romance works well on its own, but libraries will want the entire series.”

  —Booklist (starred review)

  “A fun romantic fantasy . . . Stephanie Rowe writes perhaps the ultimate star-crossed romance as the dragon and dragon-slayer fall in love.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  “Hilarious romp . . . hot . . . funny, and entirely satisfying. If you want sexy paranormal with a twist, this is definitely a book for you.”

  —WantzUponaTime.com

  “Stephanie Rowe has penned another fun-filled escape into her hilarious world of imagination. Fast-paced with a marvelous cast of characters.”

  —ParanormalRomanceWriters.com

  “4 Stars! Pure escapist fun!”

  —Romantic Times BOOKclub Magazine

  “The zany characters . . . populating Date Me, Baby, One More Time all reappear in Must Love Dragons, and they’re just as much fun to read about the second time.”

  —CurledUp.com

  DATE ME, BABY, ONE MORE TIME

  “This is escapism in full force!”

  —Romantic Times BOOKclub Magazine

  “Magically mirthful! Laugh-out-loud . . . a breakneck plot, delightfully bizarre situations, and the quirkiest of quirky characters. A hilarious paranormal treat.”

  —Booklist (starred review)

  “A righteously funny . . . can’t miss, lighthearted romantic comedy.”

  —RomRevToday.com

  “A hilarious underworld romp.”

  —Katie MacAlister, New York Times bestselling author of You Slay Me and Fire Me Up

  “Rowe carves out her own niche . . . with this freewheeling series kickoff. [Her] wit and imagination make this a strong start for what should be a refreshing series.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Flat-out fun . . . a diamond at the bottom of a Cracker Jacks box of romances. Keeps you hanging on and laughing out loud into the wee hours of the night.”

  —NightsAndWeekends.com

  “Just what the paranormal genre needs—a zany romantic comedy with a twist.”

  —Lori Handeland, USA Today bestselling author

  “Many laugh-out-loud moments . . . very entertaining.”

  —FreshFiction.com

  Also by Stephanie Rowe

  Date Me, Baby, One More Time

  Must Love Dragons

  He Loves Me, He Loves Me Hot

  For all the wonderful people at the Rose City Romance Writers. You guys are the best!

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you as always to my fantastic editor, Melanie Murray, for her insightful editing and her support. You rock! And thanks to my agent, Michelle Grajkowski, who never stops believing in me. And of course, my deepest thanks to JR and AR for their support, without which I couldn’t possibly spend hours and hours buried in my stories. And to my mom, who is, quite simply, the best mom in the world.

  One

  Hot damn! An angel!” Paige Darlington jerked upright and slammed her grande, nonfat, easy whip caramel latte down on the table as a lanky redheaded guy strode into the Starbucks she and her two best friends had been haunting for the last week. He was wearing ironed jeans and a blue oxford shirt, and he had that white aura she’d been desperately searching for. “Finally.”

  Her salvation had arrived. About time. The blackness of her soul was making her calf ache almost constantly, and it was apparent she needed some angel cleansing as soon as possible.

  Paige’s heart started pounding as her friends inspected the man while he sauntered up to the counter and politely ordered a double hazelnut caffè mocha with extra foam.

  “Really? He’s an angel?” Theresa Nichols-Siccardi, an immortal dragon with a curvaceous human body that she made sure men lusted over, sounded skeptical. “He doesn’t even have a halo.”

  “Oh, it’s there.” One of the benefits of being created by Satan was that Paige could identify the occupants of heaven and hell. Or so she’d hoped. Until she’d actually seen this guy, she hadn’t been certain she would know an angel when she saw one. But she had. Major relief. “He’s definitely got heaven on speed dial.”

  Her other friend, the newly single Dani Rawlings, took a sip of her iced coffee, her brown hair shoved up in a messy ponytail. She was in an anti-man phase, which was best for all of them, given the fiasco that had occurred the last time she’d gotten involved with anyone. “He looks rather ordinary to be an angel.”

  “Yeah, he does, doesn’t he?” Paige ran her fingers through her hair like she’d seen Theresa do and watched him move to the side to wait for his order. “How long do you think it will take to convince him to help me?”

  “Well, he’s a man and you’ve got a great rack and gorgeous blond hair that men are such suckers for, so . . .” Theresa eyed her. “Maybe one minute?”

  “One minute? That’s all?”

  “Try to appeal to his nurturing side,” Theresa suggested. “Men love to feel all manly and tough. Protect the weaker sex.”

  Paige frowned and tapped her foot restlessly. “I don’t want to be protected. I’m way too much of a badass to be protected by some wimpy angel.”

  Theresa raised her eyebrows at Paige. “That kind of attitude isn’t going to make him fall all over himself to help you. You have to convince him you find him wildly attractive and masculine. Men can’t resist being around women who make them feel manly.”

  “Manly, huh?” Paige eyed the angel as he accidentally bumped into a pair of teenage girls and apologized profusely. Duh. Didn’t he realize they’d bumped into him on
purpose to get his attention? Hellooo. Get some backbone, dude. He flipped open his navy nylon wallet to count his cash. “He looks a little gentle to be manly.”

  Hellfire, this sucked. She didn’t want a wimpy angel in her life. She wanted some hot, macho stud who would throw her up against a wall and dominate her, not being at all intimidated by the fact she could throw fireballs and turn him into a pile of ash in less than a second. Who didn’t mind that she did contract work for Satan harvesting souls, or would, as soon as she reclaimed her soul.

  Yep. She wanted a hottie who wore black leather and guns. One who had five-o’clock shadow and piercing blue eyes that could penetrate a woman’s soul. One who could kill an innocent at a hundred yards without hesitating. A man who would love her so fiercely he’d throw himself into an acid pit just to retrieve a lock of her hair.

  Yeah. That was the kind of man she wanted.

  Sigh.

  She drummed her fingers on the sticky tabletop and eyed the angel, inspecting his narrow shoulders and wrinkle-free polyester shirt. She had to find a way to convince him to help save her soul.

  “Paige?”

  She looked at her friends, and felt her heart tighten at the concerned expressions on their faces. “I love you guys.”

  They both smiled. “We love you too,” Theresa said. “Now go over there and turn that angel into a lovesick wuss already, okay?”

  “No problem.” Paige stood up and flexed her hands behind her back, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her left calf.

  She stepped around a double stroller with screaming twins, then eased toward the angel, trying to sway her hips across the floor in that one-hip-at-a-time seductive walk that Theresa had been teaching her for the last week. She heard Dani giggle and she abandoned the walk with a sigh. Sexy and seductive wasn’t her thing. Yet. But she’d master it. Really, she would.

  She sidled up to the angel and cleared her throat.

  He turned his head slightly and she caught his glance at her chest. Then his gaze slowly traveled up her body to her face, and she gave him her best smile. “Hi, I’m Paige Darlington, and—”

  “You’re from hell.” His eyes widened, and he took a step back.

  She bristled at the look of disgust on his face. Ignorant jerk. Weren’t angels supposed to be nonjudgmental and supportive and all touchy-feely? Idiot. How dare he treat her like she was pond scum? “For your information,” she snapped, “I’m not from hell.” At his disbelieving look, she added, “Anymore.”

  He began to back across the store toward the door. “I don’t need that coffee anymore,” he called out to the girl behind the counter. “I’m so sorry to inconvenience you, but I must be leaving.” He glanced at Paige again, and his left eye twitched in fear.

  Oh, crud. He looked like he was about to wet his pants.

  You’re scaring him, Paige. Be nice.

  Right. Nice. She could do that. She summoned up her best smile again and injected a cheery tone into her voice as she jogged after him. “See, it’s really quite simple. My life force is no longer linked to Satan so I’m a free woman, but my soul had already started to turn black before I was freed. If I don’t reverse the process before I’m consumed by darkness, I’ll lose the ability to love and care about all my friends, so I need you to cleanse my soul.” Anxiety tugged at her chest as he reached for the door, and she grabbed for his arm. “No, please don’t go. I really, really need your help.”

  He twisted out of her reach before she could touch him. “I can feel the evil in your soul already. It’s too late. Stay away from me.”

  “No!” She was unable to keep the desperation out of her voice. “Please! You’re the only angel I’ve managed to find, and I need help—”

  He whirled to face her. “Get away from me,” he growled. “You’re tainted.”

  Paige swallowed. “That’s a little harsh, isn’t it? I mean, I’m trying to clean up my act . . .”

  He spun around and marched out the door, slamming it in her face.

  She immediately threw it open and followed him out onto the sidewalk. “What kind of an angel are you, anyway? Shouldn’t you be trying to save me? Isn’t that your job?”

  He didn’t even turn around, just threw up his arm to flag down a yellow cab, like she wasn’t even worth his consideration. God, how insulting was that? She grabbed his arm and spun him toward her. “Listen, you arrogant—”

  His face contorted into this mask of pain, and he shrieked. Then his skin turned black and he crumbled under her touch, disintegrating into a cloud of charcoal flakes, leaving her with black dust on her hand and a horrible burning sensation in her leg.

  “What the heck was that all about?” She stared at the remains of the angel as they mixed in with the exhaust from the New York City traffic, rubbing her right foot over her left calf to try to ease the pain that was about fifty times worse than it had been before she’d touched the angel.

  “Holy shit.”

  Paige glanced back over her shoulder to see Theresa and Dani standing outside the Starbucks. Theresa looked startled, and Paige’s gut sank. Nothing ever rattled Theresa.

  But it was Dani that made her skin crawl. Dani’s face was pale, her hand was over her mouth and her eyebrows were scrunched up in horror. Not blank horror. A knowing horror. The kind that said she knew what had just happened and she was scared shitless.

  Paige whirled around and grabbed for Dani’s arms. “What happened?”

  “No! Don’t touch me!” Dani jumped out of Paige’s reach, tripped on the curb, and went down hard on the street. She scrambled to her feet, holding her hand out as if to ward off Paige. “Don’t touch either of us. Just stand there.”

  A chill crept down Paige’s spine. “What?”

  Theresa frowned at Dani. “Yeah, what?”

  “It’s true. Holy crap. I can’t believe he really did it.”

  “Did what?”

  Dani took a deep breath, then looked at Paige. “You’re in deep trouble, girl.”

  “For hell’s sake, tell me what’s going on. Last I heard, angels didn’t turn into soot on a regular basis.” Paige hugged herself and ran her hands up and down her arms, suddenly cold.

  “When I was dating Satan Jr., he told me he’d heard a rumor that Satan was trying an experiment. A new kind of Rivka.”

  Paige tensed. “What do you mean, a new kind?”

  “Well, they still have the ability to throw fireballs, harvest souls, and transport themselves by melting through the floor, and they still have to obey Satan’s every command, but Satan wanted a better weapon. Apparently, he was getting a little intimidated by Satan Jr.’s talents and—”

  “Skip the history lesson. What’s different about the new Rivka?”

  “Well . . .” Dani glanced at Theresa, then back at Paige. “I don’t know exactly. I just know that it was bad. I wasn’t really listening at the time. I was, um, you know, occupied . . .”

  “For God’s sake, Dani,” Theresa snapped. “You have to learn to think while having an orgasm. No smart woman turns off her brain during sex! It’s the best time to gather secrets on your man! Yeesh.” She turned toward Paige. “Okay, girlfriend, you need to get your butt down to see Satan and find out the scoop. Capisce? No plans can be made until we know.”

  Paige looked at her hand, and then looked at where the angel had been. “Yeah, I guess.” Then she frowned and set her hands on her hips. “You know, this is ridiculous. I couldn’t have killed the angel. It was probably some fancy new thing they can do. Self-defense or something.”

  “You’re right.” Theresa marched up to Paige. “There’s no way you’ve acquired the touch of death in the ten minutes since I last touched you.” Theresa snapped her fingers. “Hold out your hand.”

  Dani grimaced. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. What if she blows you up?”

  Paige felt a stabbing sensation in her calf, and she had a sudden vision of launching herself at Theresa, hurting her, killing her . . . of wanting to h
urt her. She took a step back. “I’m with Dani. There’s something weird going on.”

  “I’m immortal,” Theresa scoffed. “You know, three drinks from the Goblet of Eternal Youth and all that fun stuff. You can’t hurt me.” Theresa reached for her, Paige ducked, and Theresa’s fingers grazed over her ear. “Squirmy little—Holy mother of hell!” Theresa jerked her hand back as the need to kill slammed through Paige’s heart, and she lunged for her friend, no longer able to stop herself.

  “Back off, hell girl!” Theresa stuck out her leg and swept Paige’s feet out from under her, sending her crashing to the sidewalk.

  Paige yelped as her chin smacked the asphalt, sending a crack through her head. She tried to stand up, but was so dizzy she crashed back to the cement again, banging her head with another smack. She groaned with relief and pain and rolled onto her back, sprawling on the sidewalk as she felt the urge to kill retreat back into her leg. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” Theresa leaned over her. “That’s what friends are for. Need me to knock you out?”

  “No, I’m good. My head hurts so much that I think I’ll pass out if I stand up.”

  “Excellent.”

  Dani leaned over next to Theresa, her brow furrowed. “You should have seen your face when you were going for Theresa. You were like a total psycho from a horror movie. Creepy.”

  Paige groaned and rested her forearm over her throbbing head. “Did I hurt you?”

  Theresa winced. “I’ll be fine.”

  Paige frowned. “What happened?”

  “Show her,” Dani said. “She needs to know.”

  “Really, it’s not a big deal.” Theresa stuck her hand out. “Mona will heal it right up and—”

  Paige forgot to listen to Theresa as she stared at the shriveled blackened stump that used to be Theresa’s hand. “Oh, God.”

  “Seriously. Don’t worry about it.” Theresa tucked her hand back out of sight. “It’s not serious enough to be permanent, and it gives me a good excuse for a new manicure.”

  Paige closed her eyes again and wanted to shrivel into the sidewalk. “What’s happening to me? I burned up my friend?”