Sex & The Immortal Bad Boy

by Stephanie Rowe

  Paige began to move faster, and there were trickles of sweat on her chest, sliding down her stomach. “Jed—”

  “I’m with you. I’m right here—”

  And then her body tensed, and her muscles clenched around him and the force of her orgasm slammed into his gut, into his soul, and he felt his own body respond, catapulting over the edge. Darkness rose around them, and he knew he was about to merge with her.

  I can’t do this to her. He threw all his energy into his shields and pulled himself out of his body. Not quite into shadow form, but close. He pulled his spirit into a protective shell as his physical body exploded with the force of the orgasm, driving into Paige as she clung to him. But it wasn’t real to him. It was a distant echo, kept from his senses by the shields he had erected. He was there, but not there. Not at all, and it was breaking him. God, I want to be in this moment.

  But he held back. Had to hold back.

  He could feel the sensations pressing at him, but they couldn’t reach him. His heart ached as he felt her soul reaching for him, crying for completion, but he didn’t release his shields. The tremors subsided from their bodies, and he gradually allowed himself to reenter himself, drinking in the residual tremors of the moment, opening himself up to what was left between them, desperate to feel what he’d removed himself from.

  Paige slumped onto his chest and kissed his collarbone. “You left.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, pressing his face into her hair. “I had to.”

  “It felt different when you left. Empty. Lonely.”

  He cursed. “I’m sorry. I wanted it to be perfect—”

  “Oh, it was.” She lifted her head to look at him. “It was. When you were there, I felt . . .” She trailed her finger over the stubble in his chin. “I felt complete for the first time in my life.” She frowned. “It wasn’t just sex, was it? It was more. Or it was until you left.”

  He kissed her softly. “Yeah, it was.”

  She cocked her head to look at him. “Did you . . . were you able to . . . did you stay long enough?”

  “I stayed long enough.” Long enough to know that he’d never, ever wanted to leave.

  She narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t, did you?”

  He sighed and smoothed her hair back from her face. “I stayed as long as I could. Any longer, and you’d be a wraith.” He studied her face. “I’m sorry I ruined it by leaving. I wanted it to be so amazing—”

  “It was amazing.” Her eyes were bright, and he sensed her honesty. “It was just that when you were there, it was so much more than amazing. So, when you left, I felt it.”

  He frowned, and trailed his fingers through the rivulets of sweat on her chest, humbled by the fact she’d trusted him with her life.

  She snuggled against him. “You know, I was thinking about what I almost said earlier, that I loved you?”

  His breath caught in his chest. “Yeah?”

  “Well, I was thinking that I was wrong.”

  He closed his eyes against an unexpected wave of pain. “You don’t love me?”

  “Well, yes and no.” She propped her elbows up on his chest, and he opened his eyes to see her staring down at him. “See, I love you . . .”

  Something blossomed in his chest, something he didn’t recognize.

  “. . . but it’s like how I love Becca. It’s love, but it’s not Love.”

  The light died and he frowned. “You mean, you love me like a friend?”

  “Oh, no.” She grinned. “I love you like a hot manly man who makes my womanly parts soar.”

  He heard the unspoken hesitation. “But . . . ?”

  “But I was thinking that I love you, but if it comes down to tomorrow night, and you’re trying to convert me to save your brother, I’m going to fight you to save myself.” She rested her chin on his chest and eyed him. “That’s not true love. That’s not the kind of love I want. I want the kind of love where I love you more than I love myself, where I’d sacrifice myself for you.” She grimaced. “I don’t see that happening. I could never just walk into the darkness. It’s against my instinct, and everything that I believe in. I want to live, you know?”

  He hugged her tightly, pressing his face into her hair. “I know.” God, he knew.

  “See?” She sighed and pulled back from him. “I know nothing about love. I want to Love, dammit, and I don’t have it in me! I throw around words like that, but it’s nothing. I love you, but would it transcend being a wraith? No. Because it’s not Love.”

  He grabbed her face. “You do have it in you; you’re just smart enough not to waste it on me.”

  She pursed her lips, then said, “If you hadn’t been ruined by your life, if you weren’t damned and evil, do you think you might have loved me? Like the kind of love where you’d dive into a vat of hell acid to retrieve a lock of my hair? That kind of love?”

  There was a vulnerability in her eyes, but also a strength. A conviction that didn’t need him to tell her he loved her just because they’d made love. She just wanted to know. His throat tightened, but he shook his head. “I’m not capable of that.”

  “But if you were, would it have been me?”

  He hesitated, then gave her the truth. “Yeah, I think it might’ve.”

  Twenty-six

  Ahigh-voltage smile lit up Paige’s face, and zapped him right in the chest.

  He groaned. “Paige—”

  She put her hand over his mouth. “No. Don’t say anything else. That’s enough for me. I’m going to tuck it into my heart and keep it with me no matter what happens. Don’t take it back. Don’t qualify it. Just let it be.”

  He cupped her face and kissed her, unable to articulate a response.

  She smiled and returned the kiss, her tongue dancing with his, searching for him, needing him as much as he needed her.

  A heavy pounding sounded through the apartment and she jerked to a sitting position. “Damn him for interrupting me just when I’ve got you where I want you.”

  He frowned at the sudden hostility in her voice. “Paige? You all right?”

  “The rat bastard Jerome’s back,” she said. The smile had dropped off her face, replaced with a slow fury, and he felt his body begin to tingle everywhere she was touching him.

  The wraith was back, and it was strong. And suddenly, as if it had jumped on the chance to ride the wave of her hostility toward Jerome.

  Jed grabbed her wrist as she started to get off him, ignoring the fact that his hand went numb almost instantly. “Keep it together, Paige. I’m not giving up on you yet.”

  “He almost killed Dani, he allowed the Men in White to try to murder me, and he did something horrible to your brother,” she growled. “He deserves to die.”

  “Not at the expense of your life.” He sat up, so he was level with her. “You have to shield your emotions. Forget that you don’t like him. Think of him only as a man with possible answers.” His thigh was now completely numb where she was sitting on it, and he gripped her wrist more tightly. “Paige! Look at me!”

  She did, and he cursed when he saw that her eyes had gone black.

  He pulled her back down on the bed and wrapped himself around her, touching skin to skin everywhere he could reach. He bent his head so his lips were against her ear. “What does love feel like?”

  “What?” She gripped his forearm where he had it wrapped around her chest.

  “What does it feel like?” His entire body was beginning to go numb, but he didn’t release her.

  “Love?” She sounded confused, but it was a step up from murderous, so that was good.

  “Yes.” Little zings of pain began to shoot through his muscles from her wraith invading his body. “What does love feel like? Your love for me. What’s it like?”

  She was quiet for a minute, and he willed Jerome not to knock again, not to remind Paige of his presence until she’d gotten herself back under control. “I feel this ache in my heart,” she said. “It feels like sunshine
, and like pain at the same time.”

  “Can you make the sunshine touch other parts of your body?” His quad began to twitch, and he gritted his teeth against the pain.

  “Maybe.” She fell silent, and gradually he began to feel her body relax.

  “Good job,” he whispered. “Focus on that.”

  “I’m focusing.”

  Jerome knocked again, and Paige didn’t flinch. “Sunshine. Love,” she said. “I’m feeling the love. Not Love, but love.”

  “Good girl.” He kissed her forehead and then tried to release her, but couldn’t get his muscles to work. “Let’s get dressed.”

  She carefully eased out of his grip, ran out into the living room to grab their clothes, and brought them back. She tossed him his jeans and yanked on her own pants.

  Jed lay on the bed, waiting for his body to come back to him.

  Paige frowned as she pulled her shirt over her head. “Are you coming?”

  “I think so.”

  She narrowed her eyes and peered at him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He gritted his teeth and tried to move again. This time, his body responded, and he sat up, excruciating pain blasting through every muscle in his body. “I just wanted to watch you get dressed.”

  She grinned. “That’s so cute.”

  Jerome pounded on the door again. “Hello? Are you in there?”

  “Coming!” Jed yelled.

  Her smile faded. “You should probably get that. I’ll hover in the distant background.”

  “Right.” He leaned over to pick up his jeans and bit his lip to keep from groaning. He stood up slowly, trying not to wince as he made his body bend over so he could put his jeans on.

  Paige stood watching him, with her hands on her hips.

  After a second, she walked over and helped him get dressed, chewing on her lower lip as she did so. Neither of them commented on the assistance, but he had a feeling she’d figured out that her wraith had taken a serious toll on him.

  Once his jeans were zipped, he brushed off the shirt. “Forget it. Let’s go.” There was no way he was going to be able to lift his arms over his head yet.

  “Okay.” She dropped the shirt on the bed and stepped back to make sure she didn’t brush against him as he headed toward the door.

  So he caught her hand in his and took her with him.

  Paige hugged her knees to her chest as she sat on the couch next to Jed, across from Jerome.

  To his credit, Jerome did look like hell. His clothes were dirty and rumpled, his hair was messy, and he had a frazzled glaze in his eyes. And he was so restless he was making her dizzy. Tapping his foot, shifting his weight, glancing at the big windows, picking at the lid to his coffee.

  The guy was a strung-out mess, and she was glad to see it.

  He hadn’t met her eyes since he’d come in, and that was helping her ego as well. Nice to see him cowed before her. Made her feel a little less driven to destroy him.

  She slanted a glance at Jed, who looked fairly recovered from the incident in the bedroom. He’d saved her, she knew he had. She’d been so mad at Jerome for interrupting their moment after Jed had made that amazing declaration, and she’d nearly lost control. But Jed had taken the hit: enough blackness to have killed a regular human for sure.

  Was she getting that much worse? She flexed her hand, felt the pain even at that slight movement. Yes, she was.

  Jed draped his forearm over her knees, drumming his fingers on her thigh. She smiled and entwined her fingers in his. Even if she went wraith, she’d remember making love with him. She’d always be able to recall his supreme effort when he’d pulled himself back to keep them from merging.

  She knew that Jed would do his absolute best to keep from turning her. And if he did turn her, he’d be destroyed forever, even if he saved his brother. She rubbed her fingers over the back of his hand, tracing the veins. I will not let Jed suffer anymore. She had to find a way to save all of them. Had to.

  “Is Raphael working for the Council?” Jed asked.

  Jerome nodded, and took a drag of his coffee. “Since angels are completely unkillable, the Men in White were stressing about how Paige had managed to kill one. They finally decided that it didn’t matter, and that she was too dangerous to be kept alive.” His gaze finally went to Paige. “I told them you were an innocent, and they didn’t care.”

  Despite her animosity toward Jerome, she almost smiled at him in appreciation. After all she’d done, he could still consider her an innocent? Two men who thought she was good. Somehow, after looking into the bleakness of her wraith future, being considered an innocent . . . well . . . it just didn’t sound so bad anymore. Jed had made it sound like an okay thing to be.

  “Since you’re a Rivka and had some kind of deadly killing technique, no one wanted to risk their enforcers by trying to kill you,” Jerome continued. “So they decided to recruit outside talent.”

  Jed’s body tensed. “Rafi.”

  Jerome nodded. “It’s my fault, and I’m sorry. When I got your message, I immediately called an emergency meeting to see if anyone could verify Bandit’s claim. Unfortunately, when they heard about Rafi getting tapped and realized how badly he needed to get free, they knew they could coerce him into agreeing to anything in exchange for his freedom. Sadly, I doubt he had any idea what he was agreeing to when he took the deal, but that didn’t matter.”

  “Rafi was alive,” Jed growled. “How could they put him in the Afterlife?”

  Jerome took another drink, and Paige realized his hands were shaking. “Satan Jr. bribed the Council originally. And since they’re the ones who locked him up, it was simply a matter of unlocking the door to let him out.” A bitter smile curved Jerome’s lips. “It was easy to reverse it.”

  Jed dropped his head to his hands. “Easy. It was easy. And I was going to let him die.”

  Paige scooted next to Jed and slipped her arm under his so she could nestle against him. He pulled Paige onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist as if he was afraid she’d fly away. His body was hard with tension, his muscles like rocks. “So, what did you do to him? He’s not pure shadow warrior right now.”

  “Well, no. He couldn’t kill Paige if he was pure shadow warrior. We enhanced him.”

  “How?”

  “A little bit of this, a little bit of that. He’s now a deadly killing machine. A joint venture by the Council and the Men in White.” To his credit, Jerome sounded disgusted by it. “I tried to stop them, and they locked me out. I don’t know exactly what they did to him.”

  “Or how to undo it?”

  Jerome shook his head. “I’m working on it, but I’m currently on administrative leave as of two hours ago.” He tightened his grip on his coffee. “I thought I could clean things up, but I’m buying my own ticket to hell instead.”

  Jed pressed his face into Paige’s hair for a minute, then lifted his head, his voice deceptively calm; she could feel the tension radiating everywhere they were touching. “So, how do we break my contract with Satan Jr.?”

  Jerome drained his coffee, tossed his cup aside, and grabbed another one. “You can’t. Those things are impossible.” He looked at them both, and Paige saw him gather his resolution. “I’ve learned a lot more about Paige’s condition, and I came here tonight to talk to you guys.”

  Paige sat up. “You know how to stop it?”

  Jerome shook his head. “You can’t stop it. You’re going to turn. It’s inevitable.” He leaned forward. “I know this is personal to both of you, but you have to understand that this situation is bigger than both of you. All mortals and Otherworld beings will be in serious trouble if Paige goes wraith, no matter who she’s loyal to.” He looked at both of them, his gaze intense. “The greater good must take priority here. Paige, you have to die before you change.”

  “But—”

  Jed’s arms tightened around her. “No.”

  Jerome gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “I know, I know. If you k
ill her, then she’ll be dead, because she was created as part of the Afterlife, so she has nowhere else to go. And Jed’s brother will be recalled to Junior’s hell for an eternity of torture, as will Jed. I get it. It sucks for all three of you. But I’ve looked at all the scenarios and there is no way out of it.” He looked at them both. “Three lives sacrificed to save millions, to preserve the fragile balance between heaven and hell, is nothing. It may be personal to you, but in the grand scheme of good and evil, you three can’t look at yourselves as individuals. You’re part of the big picture, and like the thousands who have given their lives to preserve our freedoms, you three must do the same.”

  Paige swallowed the lump in her throat. “But if I can get into heaven and purify myself . . .”

  Jerome snorted. “No chance. You can’t get in, and even if you could, the cleansing moat is under armed guard. Not to keep you from saving yourself, but to keep you from trying to save yourself and blowing up heaven in the process.” He gave her a challenging look. “There’s no way to stop the change, but once you change, you’ll be unstoppable. You have to die before you change. Do the right thing.”

  “But Rita said if we got to the third gate—”

  “Who’s Rita?” Jerome interrupted.

  Paige sagged with sudden realization. “She’s working for Satan,” she admitted. “She’d have incentive to want me to destroy heaven.”

  Jerome reached out to touch her, then dropped his hand before he got too close. “I’m sorry, Paige. I know you don’t like me, but you’re Dani’s best friend, and I would do anything I could to save you.” He looked at Jed. “You have to kill her.”

  “No.” There was so much force in that one word that Paige actually turned to look at Jed. His face was hard, his gaze unwavering, and he looked scary as hell.

  And she loved it.

  “No?” Jerome shot him a look of disgust. “Then you’re going to turn Paige wraith? What exactly do you think the world will become if Paige is turned?”