Major Karnage

by Gord Zajac

  A young man sat on the bench, watching the screen raptly. Another lay motionless in a pool of blood on the floor. The man on the bench glared at Karnage as he entered the room. He sneered.

  Karnage nodded. “Howdy.”

  The man ignored him. He turned his gaze back to the screen. The steel doors opened, and a young woman emerged from the darkness.

  Miki’s voice poured from the screen. “And now here’s Stephanie Blyskosz, readying for her meeting with The Worm.”

  The doors shut behind Stephanie with a loud boom. She jumped, then put on a brave face. She waved to the stands. The crowd cheered.

  Paco’s voice joined Miki’s. “Stephanie was our highest scoring female contestant this year, as well as the highest scoring on record.”

  A giant shadow overtook her. She looked up. Her eyes went wide and she screamed. The video cut out as an angry, squiggly screech shook the entire complex. As the screech faded, the video signal came back. Stephanie was gone. Nothing but churned earth remained at the base of the doors. The crowd cheered wildly.

  The young man snorted and shook his head in disgust. “Pathetic.”

  The screen changed to show Miki and Paco standing on the arena floor, wearing headsets and holding clipboards.

  “I think she just set a new record,” Miki looked at his clipboard, “for the shortest-lived contestant, lasting for a grand total of five point six seconds.”

  “I thought for sure she’d last longer than that,” Paco said.

  “As I think everybody did. But, as always, The Worm has the Final Word.”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow, Miki. Mama-oo-pow-pow.” Paco turned to the camera. “We’ll be back after this.”

  The screen changed to a shot of Melvern staring into the distance, as his voice-over extolled the virtues of a life dedicated to Spragmos. The young man finally looked away from the screen. He stood and faced Karnage. A Worm-shaped nametag stuck to his shirt proclaimed him to be Ajay. He looked Karnage up and down. “So, you think you’re Worthy, do you?”

  “I’m the Lightbringer,” Karnage said.

  “Yes,” Ajay nodded at the screen. “I saw your little performance.”

  Karnage nodded at the body near Ajay’s feet. “What happened to your friend there?”

  Ajay barely glanced at the corpse. “He dared to question The Word. And Spragmos judged him accordingly.”

  “Spragmos killed him?”

  “No,” Ajay said. “I did.”

  “Does that make you Spragmos?”

  Ajay smiled. “You mock me.”

  “I do,” Karnage said.

  Ajay shook his head. “I pity you. Your Worm lies in a deep slumber. I can sense it. One wonders if it will ever waken.”

  “And your Worm’s awake, is it?”

  “It is. Thanks to Andy.” Ajay looked down at the corpse and smiled. “Spragmos had a role for him to play. He was sent here to test my faith. To try and fill my head with lies and doubt. But I have passed this test. Walked through the fire as Spragmos decreed and emerged reborn. My Worm is truly awake now. And Spragmos will judge me Worthy.” He puffed out his chest. “For I am the real Lightbringer.”

  “No you’re not,” Karnage said.

  “I am,” Ajay said.

  “I’m the Lightbringer,” Karnage said.

  “No! I am the Lightbringer!”

  “Just cuz you say it’s so don’t make it true,” Karnage said.

  Ajay bared his teeth. He looked as if he were about to attack Karnage. Karnage hoped he would.

  The door to the Green Room opened behind them. Homski stuck his head into the room. “Ajay? It is your time.”

  Ajay closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. He opened his eyes and smiled at Karnage. “You are not Worthy. Spragmos calls for me now. I go to become one with The Worm. And once He has judged me Worthy, it will be your turn to meet your fate.”

  Ajay turned and left. The door slammed shut behind him.

  Karnage had barely sat down before the door opened again and Tristan sashayed into the room.

  “Oh good, you’re still here,” she said.

  Karnage sprang to his feet. “How the hell did you get in here?”

  “Keep your voice down,” Tristan hissed. “If I’m caught in here, it’s the end for us both.”

  “As opposed to just me?”

  “What ever are you talking about?”

  “Do I look like a Messiah to you? Your plan didn’t work. Melvern saw right through it!”

  “On the contrary,” Tristan said. “He played right into it.”

  Karnage scowled. “What do you mean he played right into it?”

  Tristan looked at him and blinked. “You mean you didn’t think I knew this would happen?”

  “Of course I didn’t think that! What the hell was I supposed to think?!”

  “Admittedly, that was exactly what you were supposed to think. But once things didn’t go as planned, I thought for sure you would have assumed that I was playing a deeper, more Machiavellian game here. Frankly, my good Major, I’m a little disappointed in you.”

  “Disappointed in me?! Goddammit, I thought you were bein’ straight with me!”

  “I was straight with you. I said that so long as you do as I tell you, you will make it out of this alive. You’re still alive, aren’t you? Have some faith, Major.”

  “Faith?! You set me up!”

  “I did nothing of the sort.”

  “You could have warned me this was gonna happen.”

  “And risk compromising your performance? I think not.”

  “My performance?!”

  “The camera doesn’t lie, Major. I needed to ensure you were authentic. And what better way to ensure an authentic performance than if you are simply being authentic. That Melvern is a snake. If I had told you the entire plan, he would have sensed something was up right from the start, and you would have ended up as worm food.”

  “It sounds like they’re gonna make worm food outta me anyway!”

  “Ah, but the difference is context, my good Major. Before, you were just worm food. Now, you are worm food with upward mobility! You have now been declared Worthy. That makes you a serious contender for Melvern’s job. All you have to do is defeat The Worm, and Melvern will have no choice but to accept you as the Lightbringer.”

  “And how the hell do I defeat The Worm?”

  Tristan smiled. “My dear Major, have you never wondered why Melvern has not fed me to The Worm? He’s afraid that I’ve discovered his secret. That I know how to defeat The Worm.”

  “And do you?”

  “Of course I do. We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Honestly, Major, I had you pegged for a better strategist than this. Do try to keep up, please.”

  “Fine. How do I defeat The Worm?”

  “Ah,” Tristan smiled. “Killing The Worm is both simple and complex. You must break off its horn.”

  “That’s it? That’s all it takes?”

  “Trust me. It’s enough.”

  “What’s the catch?”

  “The Worm is big.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean big.”

  “Okay.”

  “Really, really big.”

  “I get the picture.”

  “No,” Tristan said. “You don’t.”

  The screen above them changed to show Miki and Paco back in the arena. “Welcome back to Arbiter’s Day, folks. We’re coming to the end of the Finale, and have we ever saved the best for last.”

  “We just got word that Andy Rudyk passed peacefully while waiting in the Green Room.”

  “Apparently the mighty Spragmos was keen to ensure our Top Ten stayed a Top Ten, Paco.”

  “Papa-oo-mow-mow, Miki. Papa-oo-mow-mow.”

  The shot changed to show the arena. The doors opened, and Ajay emerged from the darkness.

  “And now here’s audience favourite, Ajay Joseph entering the ring.”

  The doors slammed shut behind him. He didn’t even flinch.


  “No one has ever scored as highly as Ajay did in the preliminaries, Miki.”

  He turned to the crowd and threw his fists into the air.

  “Listen to those fans. The crowd really loves him.”

  A shadow loomed up over him. A squiggly screech pierced the monitor’s speakers, and shook the arena right down to the Green Room. The monitor screeched out, and when it came back again, Ajay was gone: nothing but a greasy smear left to mark where he had been. The crowd let out a gasp, then a cheer.

  The shot changed to Paco and Miki again. They were smiling gleefully.

  “Looks like Spragmos begged to differ. What was the final time on that, Miki?”

  “Three point seven seconds. That’s a record all right, but not quite the record any of us expected.”

  “The Worm has had the Final Say, and that Final Say is nay.”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow, Paco. Mama-oo-pow-pow.”

  “Looks like Ajay’s now one with The Worm,” Karnage said.

  “No he isn’t,” Tristan said. “He’s just dead. Try not to follow his lead.”

  “I’ll do my best,” Karnage said.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Homski and a pair of sentries led Karnage from the Green Room into a giant antechamber. A pair of massive metal doors stood before them. Karnage could feel a slight breeze coming through the crack. There was a toxic smell to the air reminiscent of creeper and pinkstink. Karnage wondered if it was the plants or The Worm. Guess I’ll find out soon enough. He cracked his knuckles.

  Homski studied Karnage from the corner of his eye. “Is it true you are the Lightbringer?”

  “I am,” Karnage said.

  “The High Prophet thinks you are a fraud,” Homski said.

  “And what do you think?”

  Homski furrowed his brow a moment, then shook his head. “It matters not what I think. Spragmos will show the way. The Worm is The Word.”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow,” Karnage said.

  Homski shot him a look. A voice crackled over Homski’s headset. Homski nodded and turned to Karnage. “You will enter the arena. There is a spot marked with an X. You will stand on it, and wait for the High Prophet to finish his speech. Only then will you be allowed to face the Arbiter.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then once Spragmos is done with you, you will have to face the technical director.”

  Homski pulled a switch. The doors swung open. The orange light of the rising sun blinded Karnage. Once his eyes adjusted, he stepped through. The door slammed shut behind him.

  A vast wasteland of pockmarked earth opened before him. The ground bore the scars of a thousand and one weapons tests: blast craters and blackened earth stretched out in all directions. Bits of old military hardware were strewn everywhere. Massive trails of freshly churned earth crisscrossed in all directions.

  Mile-high concrete walls fenced him in on all sides. Lines of observation decks wound around the walls of the canyon like a giant corkscrew. Thousands of faces pressed against the glass. Tens of thousands of D-shaped lenses flashed and flickered in the morning sunshine.

  A crude X had been scratched on the dirt in front of him. Karnage stood on it. The High Prophet’s voice echoed out from every wall as it was broadcast from every D-pad in the compound.

  “There are those who say the end of the world is upon us. That our time upon this scorched earth is fast coming to an end. And they are right. This world is dying. Listen closely, and you can hear it gasp its last shallow breaths.

  “But all is not lost! For as the Scriptures say, this is not The End Time. This is the Time For A New Beginning!”

  The crowd cheered. The High Prophet waited for the cheering to die down, then continued. “Spragmos has shown us The Way. Spragmos has given us The Word. And The Word . . . is The Worm!”

  The crowd chanted: “Mama-oo-pow-pow! Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  “And The Worm will show us the way. And one day, we will all awaken The Worm within. But the question remains: is that day upon us? The Scripture speaks of the Lightbringer. He who will show us the Light and illuminate the True Path. And now, there is one among us who claims to be this bringer of Light. But is he indeed the one of which the Scripture speaks? I have heard you ask, ‘Is this the Light Spragmos speaks of?’

  “And I say to you: I am but a man. It is not my place—nor any mortal’s—to interpret the meaning of the Scriptures. But there is also no need. For in the end, there is only The Word. And The Word . . . is The Worm!”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow! Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  “Now, let us pray.”

  There was a mass shuffling as thousands of heads bowed. Melvern’s voice echoed across the canyon. “Mighty Spragmos, we ask you to help guide us through these troubled times. Send us Your Messenger and show us The Way. Mama-oo-pow-pow.”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow,” the crowd replied.

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  A blood-curdling screech tore across the arena—a thick, jagged line of sound that ripped through the canyon. It slammed Karnage in the chest so hard he stumbled back. The noise ricocheted off the walls and echoed back across the arena, slowly fading into silence. The air itself grew still. The entire world was gripped by a sudden, terrible fear. Karnage wanted to scream into the void to break its spell.

  That’s when he felt it.

  It started as a slight tremor at his feet, like the dull vibration of an approaching train. The tremor grew stronger and became a deep rumble. The ground shook. The earth beneath his feet churned and boiled. Karnage leaped off the fast-rising earth. He tumbled over the teeming mass until he found firmer ground. He turned just in time to see the expanding mass explode. A skyscraper shot out of the ground with lightning speed, sloughing mammoth chunks of earth in all directions. A dark shadow overtook Karnage, travelled the length of the arena, and shot up the full length of the wall behind him. Karnage found himself enveloped in cold, merciless darkness, as if the thing had risen up and swallowed the sun. Karnage craned his neck up, squinting into the sky.

  The Worm towered over Karnage like a freight train balanced on one end. Hair covered a body that gyrated and pulsed like a sea of quivering tentacles. Its face was nothing but a giant mouth framed with row upon row of shard-like teeth spiralling deep into its gullet.

  And jutting from the tip of its head, just barely visible against the orange-tinted sky, was a single, stubby horn.

  “Well, shit,” Karnage said.

  CHAPTER TEN

  A ripple ran down The Worm’s body, and it toppled towards Karnage. As it fell, its hairy tentacled worm carcass became a crumbling mass of steel and concrete, and a voice called out from behind him.

  “Tower’s comin’ down!” It was Cookie.

  “Run!” Velasquez shouted.

  Karnage’s men started running in all directions. Panic hit him hard.

  This was where it all went to shit. Where they lost everything. Not this time. He wouldn’t let it happen again. “No! This way! Follow my lead!” Karnage turned and ran away from the surging tower at a forty five degree angle. Blood pounded in his ears, drowning out the raging roil of concrete and metal as it hurtled closer and closer. His soldiers followed closely behind. He could feel their urge to turn and look, to see if they would make it.

  “Don’t look back, soldier!” Karnage shouted through the cacophony. “Don’t look back! Keep running! Keep running, goddammit!” Things would be different this time. He could feel it. He’d save them. He’d save them all—

  The Worm’s mass smashed into the ground, just missing Karnage by inches. He was thrown across the arena and crashed into the remains of a crumpled old jeep, his wind knocked out. The last remnants of New Baghdad were swept away by the mammoth flood of stars pouring across his vision. The crackling explosions were replaced with the fevered chants of the Spragmites.

  “Mama-oo-pow-pow!
Mama-oo-pow-pow!”

  Karnage hugged his knees to his chest, wheezing, trying to catch his breath as the last few stars in his eyes turned to fading embers. Keep it together, soldier! Keep it together! His ribs burned. He hoped he hadn’t broken any of them.

  Karnage gripped the jeep’s rusted fender and pulled himself up. The fender ripped off, leaving an edge of gleaming sharp metal. Karnage hefted it like a machete, and turned to face The Worm.

  The Worm was on the other side of the arena, just coming out of a turn. It barrelled back towards him like an angry bullet train, its teeth circling its open mouth like a carnivorous black hole.

  Karnage vaulted out of the way just as The Worm bore down on him. He reached out and grabbed a handful of tentacles as it blurred past. Pain shot through his arm as he was wrenched off his feet. The tentacle-like hairs whipped and lashed at his arm, wrapping around his limbs. Their grip was weak enough that Karnage could break it. In fact, rather than impeding him, they gave him better purchase on The Worm’s flank, allowing him to stick to its side like velcro.

  The Worm twitched and writhed, trying to throw Karnage off. Karnage felt like a mouse riding an epileptic elephant. He’d had to free solo climb before, but never on an angry rock face that was hellbent on bucking him off.

  The world suddenly spun and Karnage saw the ground hurtling towards him. Karnage dove off The Worm, just clearing its massive girth as it slammed its side into the ground. Karnage tumbled away as The Worm rolled and writhed on the ground like a dog trying to scratch its flea-ridden back. It flopped back onto its belly with frightening speed, and shot clear across the arena.

  Karnage struggled to his feet. He watched as The Worm banked and turned; the hard-packed earth bucked and roiled in its wake. Wrecked military gear flew in all directions as The Worm ploughed through it, barrelling towards Karnage. It’s too fast, Karnage thought. It’s too damn fast!

  Karnage hefted the torn fender in his fist. His ankle throbbed. Probably twisted. He couldn’t run anymore. He stood his ground, rusted fender at the ready. The Spragmites screamed and hollered. Karnage stared deep into The Worm’s serrated maw. The whorl of teeth grew larger and larger, taking up all of Karnage’s vision.