How Do I Get Out of Here

by Ahmad Aleem Williams

  Lustray was very thankful for being able to get her little one in the Title XX program. That afforded her the opportunity to have some child care for only a few dollars a week and if she wanted to take the day off from school there would be nobody in the house except her to care for. It was just such a pain in the butt to have to provide the county office with her school schedule every quarter. “I wish I could sit my tail down at home and be a stay at home mom just like Delight Brown. Why should she get to have the glamorous life? Why should she get to sit and I have to struggle all around campus? After all, he did come to my house and said that he wanted to be with me! That girl has to go!” Lustray threw on her flower skirt, high heels and got the girls out of the door.

  “Mommy, mommy, we see Mr. Brown’s bags here! Is he coming back,” the girls jumped jubilantly in unison.

  “Darn it, they weren’t supposed to see his stuff,” Lustray scolded to herself. “He just needed somewhere to put his bags until he finds a place to live.” She wanted her and Preston’s situation to be incognito until it looked like the relationship was solidified. First, she had to get her divorce finalized with her estranged husband in Georgia and then graduate this coming summer. Thank God for the pro bono attorneys at Capital University. There would just be no way that Lustray would have been able to afford the costs of any legal proceedings on a day care salary and student loans.

  All of the kids were strapped in the car and as the Acclaim got started in its remote fashion, the kids always acted like they were playing bumper cars every time that car tried to get started in the morning. Even though Lustray hated the way that she got around, her girls never ceased to amuse her when the “amusement park” was in motion. She truly loved her kids and there was no way she would ever let anyone take away their happiness, including Mr. Brown himself!

  IX

  Two weeks have gone by and Preston felt a little more at ease with himself. He began to gain some sort of trust back from Lustray. It was an all night debate about why Preston didn’t come back to her house that night. For some reason she just couldn’t accept the fact that Delight wasn’t letting him go easily.

  “So you mean to tell me Preston, that your wife knows that you have another child outside of your marriage and she willingly wants you back inside the marriage.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you? She knows and no I didn’t do any begging to make her think otherwise.”

  “I don’t know Preston, I don’t know any other woman out there who would stay with their husband after they find out that they have a kid outside of their marriage.”

  “Once again, I keep telling you she says that it is the God in her that makes her want to keep the marriage together. Now look I don’t understand it, but I’m here and she’s there. If you need to ask all of these questions you’re going to have to ask her, I’m sure you know the number.”

  Preston liked the fun times, like the movies, cooking together, and the deep academic discussions; but if there were anything he couldn’t stand about Lustray was the fact that she couldn’t believe him even when he was telling the truth! Nevertheless, Preston made it a point to be back at Lustray’s on time whenever he watched the kids on nights that Delight had class. As long as he made the correct strides, he was sure that over time he would be back on her good graces and once his divorce was done, everything would be fine.

  But there was one thing that was a consistent road block for Preston. It was the fact that he had to keep turning off his cell phone. If Delight wasn’t calling in the morning she was calling at night. If she weren’t calling at night it was a crazy text in the afternoon. Then his mother would call him trying to find out what was going on between him and Delight.

  That’s was an emotional cut to Preston. It was the fact that his mother who worked so hard for him in his formative years had to be dragged into such chaos on his part. “I guess I will just have to stop answering phone calls from mama for a little while. This is what I did and I’ll just have to live with it until I die,” Preston contemplated with tears welling into his eyes.

  “Preston we need to take a trip downtown and file your divorce papers,” Lustray blurted.

  Preston looked at the time on his cell phone and it was Delight blowing up his phone again. Although, the phone was off Lustray could still hear it interfering with the radio waves as the radio played soft music throughout the night. With a bewildered expression, Preston opened his hands in grace and said, “Now you of all people know just like I know that divorce costs money. And even if I went pro bono with those people from the college I wouldn’t even be considered until the beginning of the school year, because the waiting list is so long.”

  Lustray rolled her eyes, pulled her hair back into a ponytail, and huffed, “All I know is that you better do something, because I am completely fed up with some older woman acting like a little teenage girl calling here at all hours of the day. Nice to know that you actually keep your cell phone on silent now instead of off.”

  “Wow, you must have been up all night thinking about that for hours to come out like that. Anyway, I keep it on just in case there is an emergency.”

  “Oh, so you can just run up and cater to her every request all over again!”

  “No…….we have children together and I just can’t forget about them that’s all.”

  “Look Preston, you partially raised one who you barely knew about, so there really is no reasoning behind trying to pick up the pieces.”

  Preston shook his head in disbelief, “Where is all of this gibberish coming from? We just had a good time all last night and now you want to come out like you’re not on my team! Don’t you think that just for a second there is something wrong with that?”

  “You know what, just get out, get out of my bed right now,” Lustray began to kick Preston in his back repeatedly. “You have no backbone, that little slut has you wrapped all around her finger. You and your friend Longs have no intestinal fortitude.”

  “What’s Longs got to do with any of this? All he does is help me out.”

  “No, no, no it’s every time you’re not man enough to make your own decisions you have to run over to him like a little adolescent to get some coaching. As a matter of fact you and Delight just might be the perfect match for each other, because the both of you don’t know how to do anything on your own! Get out!”

  Preston held his hands up in the air like a basketball player having no intention of fouling as he received his Asian foot massage from Lustray. He walked his way out of kicking range, looked her in the eye and said, “I know we didn’t start off on the right foot and that I messed some things up, but I’m trying to fix it. Right now I don’t have the money for a divorce and I am going to have to get some things straight financially before I can do anything like that. I go on my internship here in a couple weeks and I will be able to make some decent money while my housing is paid for. Now you have to go through the same thing, so let’s just work this out together.” Preston knew the power of using a calm voice in stressful situations; especially for women. Women have what most would call a need for security and with all of the pastoral skills Preston developed he knew just when and how to use those skills.

  Lustray broke down and cried. “All I want to do is graduate from college and make my way on to graduate school so that I can get on with my life. I hate this city, I hate it! I can’t wait to take me and my kids out of here!”

  As Preston was getting dressed he raised his right eye-brown in skepticism. The thought of her now wanting to move away with their child made it more than difficult for Preston to fathom that he would be giving up his marriage and children for naught. Why does she always have these sudden outbursts and in a little while she acts as if nothing has ever happened? All Preston knew was that he only had a couple of weeks for Delight to think that he is still at Longs and for Lustray to feel comfortable before he left. After all, the baby would be due in two months and something needed to happen fast!

  Xr />
  ONE WEEK LATER

  It was Preston’s last week in Columbus, so he decided that he wanted to spend the day with his kids during the week. Within the week Delight got a job through her friend Vashti and was starting to make some decent money. Now Delight was working from 9-5 and going to night school.

  Rolling out of Lustray’s bed, Preston checked to make sure that Lustray and the kids were gone for the day. When he discovered there was no one in sight he made his way over to his cell phone to call over to the house.

  Preston prayed that Delight wouldn’t turn a two minute call into a long, drawn out phone conversation. “Hey Delight, it’s me,” Preston posed.

  “Yeah, I know who you are. If you are trying to get the kids you better hurry up from Longs so that I can get to work. I tried calling you, but you want to be Mr. Ignorant and not answer your phone.”

  This was not the conversation Preston intended on having so early in the morning, so he just hung up the phone abruptly, got dressed and figured he would just eat at Delight’s house. One thing Preston could be sure of was that with all of the food stamps they were eligible for there would not be anyone going hungry at all. As soon as he got dressed he jumped in the car and hit the highway speeding!

  Preston arrived at the house in less than 20 minutes. He could see the kids through the window playing at the table and wresting around with the dog as the early morning sun began to make its peak. So he got out the car, approached the door and before he could twist the knob….

  Delight swung the door open… “We have counseling with Pastor Palmer tomorrow morning, I already told my job and the pastor so you have no excuses for not being there.”

  Preston knew that this threw a damper in his plans with Lustray, because Lustray loved to spend mornings with him on days she didn’t have to do student teaching at the local schools. Preston threw his hands up in there air in benign fashion, “First of all, who said I agreed to go to counseling? And number two who the heck is Pastor Palmer? Do you really think that some counselor is going to make me change my mind? I’m already trained to say whatever he’s going to say, I’m the damn counselor!!!”

  Delight poked her finger in Preston’s face. “Boy, the Devil has such a hold on you, you don’t even know. We are going to this CHRISTIAN counselor so that you can get some good biblical advice and think about what you are doing to this marriage.” Delight threw on her earrings and slammed the door behind her as she stomped out in her business office attire and heels.

  “Okay, okay, okay. If you really need me to go to this counselor so that you can find out how much you really don’t mean anything to me I will be sure to go there and tell the pastor just that so that you can finally leave me alone,” Preston released with a mild and calm tone. He just couldn’t believe the abrupt audacity she had to schedule something on her own that involved the two of them and expected him to be alright with it. As far as Preston was concerned, by the time they got out of counseling she was going to need counseling and he was going to make sure of that.

  Preston you have to realize that her world has been turned upside down over night and that she is just looking for anyone that would listen to her. Wouldn’t it be all the same if you showed some type of humility? Why be so vague? The situation already isn’t the prettiest and not to mention costly. This is not only costly financially, but look at how your home is being torn apart. Fighting with everyone, arguing all hours of the day? Don’t you just want some peace?

  His hands tightened as he listened to his conscience, “Hell no, she made me mad as hell trying to dictate what a brother is going to do on her account!”

  “Dad, who are you talking to,” Squire asked as he sat on his back in the living room throwing the palm pilot in the air.

  “Uh, no one son. Just thinking.”

  “Thinking about what? Mom made you mad again?” Preston couldn’t stand how nosy his son was sometimes, but figured he always knew the right questions to ask at the wrong time.

  “Nah, what I am mad at is you throwing that dang palm pilot up in the air in my living room,” Preston lied boldly. See what I mean Preston? This whole thing has you even lying to your children.

  Preston was so exhausted that all he could do was lie down on the couch for the time being. He just had to get some more rest. But why? He went to sleep early last night and slept well. He ate what he was “supposed” to eat and didn’t have sex with two women on the same day. As Preston lied down on the couch he could only manage to look at the cartoons on Nickelodeon for ten minutes. All of the mental stress just made him tired very easily. Preston didn’t have anything planned to do with the kids until noon so he set his cell alarm for 11:30 a.m. and passed out.

  XI

  The day turned out to be splendid. Preston went to the park with his boys, to the mall, and ate all types of junk food at CiCi’ Pizza buffet. He barely got any calls from Delight which was a good thing and Lustray was already busy in her own right, so he didn’t receive a lot of text messages. He couldn’t believe that in a week he would be on his way out of here. It seemed so far away and here it was. Preston leading a church towards God! The sound of it felt bittersweet in Preston’s heart. But after all, what else was he going to do? He spent thousands of dollars in his theological education and there is no room for a resume to look at only preaching experiences during a recession. So the best thing for him to do was push on with where he thought he needed to be. No matter if it felt fake, because there was literally nothing else to do.

  Delight got back home as Preston dropped the kids off and dashed out of the door.

  “Mr. Brown, don’t forget about tomorrow,” Delight yelled at him through his side view mirror. Preston wished that he could argue, but he knew that he had to beat Lustray home and he only had a few minutes to race down the freeway to beat her and the girls. Once again, it was gas money that was dwindling from Preston’s pocket very fast. His spiritual and monetary wealth began to slowly diminish.

  Darn! Preston thought. Lustray is already at the house and the girls are already unloaded, so they must be settled in. Oh boy, here we go!!!!!!!!!!! It was already bad enough that she thought he was already creeping around town with more than one female and to be back late to the house was just another piece of red tape Preston would have to try and cut in order to get any respect from her.

  Before he approached the door he replayed every answer to every possible set of interrogation questions that could possibly spew out of her mouth. He knew had to be on point and not miss a beat.

  Preston pulled out his newly “issued” apartment key and opened the door. It was quite the opposite of what he expected. The girls were eating at the table and Lustray was sitting on the couch watching Entertainment Tonight; since she couldn’t afford cable that and Jeopardy were probably the two highlights of television during the day besides American Idol.

  “Hey stranger,” Lustray stated with a smile on her face, like an old friend from way back. Preston couldn’t believe that she actually sounded happy to see him after being M.I.A. for an extended period of time.

  “Heeey,” Preston replied with his eyes looking at the ground as he dropped his bags in front of the stairway of the apartment as he took his shoes off before stepping onto the carpet. “Maybe she’s just playing it cool before I leave in a couple of days, because she thinks I will jump on somebody else if things aren’t popping off over here the right way,” Preston pondered.

  “Well, uh there’s some food on the stove if you want some and I made that lemon pepper chicken that you like,” Lustray said with a smile.

  “I think that she is just overjoyed that I will be getting out of the distance of Delight so that she knows I will just be talking to her while I’m gone. I’m not really interested in women at this point. All I want to do is get my life straight and I hope that Jesus blesses me that way as He sees that I’m walking correctly and not having the intent to fool around anymore,” Preston reflected to himself.

  Preston ate
some chicken, sweet potatoes, and some grilled corn on the cob! As Preston loaded his plate he expressed a big grin on his face and knew that he would go to sleep comfortably. All he could think about was the possibility of some good sex after the girls went to sleep and a good glass of wine (what Preston liked to call “Jesus water”) before they got started.

  As eight o’clock approached, Preston got excited because he knew the girls were going to bed soon. The wine began to absorb his body and he was feeling as smooth as magazine paper!

  “OK girls time to go to bed, give me kisses,” Lustray called out to the girls as they played upstairs before bedtime. Preston sat in the couch watching the new show, So You Think You Can Dance. His eyes were so low that he could have been mistaken for smoking some type of illegal substance. He looked like Al Bundy, with his pants unbuckled to loosen up his waistline. The girls ran down to give Lustray some kisses and for the first time gave “Mr. Brown” a hug goodnight.

  “Wow, where did that come from,” Lustray questioned with a surprised expression. “Maybe you smelling like females all of the time just attracts even the little ones.”

  “Hold on, hold on now I don’t even know how you’re going to trip like that and not even knowing what I was doing, which you did not care to ask about.”

  “Why should I have to ask you what you were doing? You should be willing to tell me whatever and whoever you were doing. Oops! Did I just say that?”

  “Maybe if I were doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing I would go through the agony of arguing with you, but I’m going to sit here, enjoy my wine and pass out like a happy black man in America.” Preston gave cheers to himself and gulped down the rest of his glass like it was a bottle of water, belched obligingly, crossed his legs, and focused on the show on the little 15-inch television set.