“There’s just too much drama over here and my now ex-husband doesn’t need to know where I live right now. He’s going to come and try to take away my daughter, he’s crazy and I don’t want to jeopardize her safety.”
Preston wasn’t one to step into the other divide of domestic issues, but he honestly thought that she was wrong for not letting the father of her youngest daughter not have a relationship with her. It seemed like she did more harm to her daughter than she would ever know. Preston stared at Lustray for awhile and said, “It’s late and I have some fun things planned so let’s get some rest before I have to hit the road again in about 36 hours.”
Lustray shrugged her shoulders, “Yeah, you’re right there’s no point in talking about all of this crazy stuff right now so let’s just call it a night and wake up for a better and brighter day.”
Preston felt the vibe of “no-love” already and he began to think about his kids. It really did feel weird to him that he was in the same city as his kids and didn’t even think about knocking on the door of their residence. Preston was starting to develop a feeling that he never thought he would ever experience in life. He began to feel COLD. He began to turn cold emotionally and spiritually. He now knew that this would be his defense mechanism to cope with life as his brand new survival tool.
The late night moon shown so bright in between the lines of the blinders that instead of going upstairs to sleep with Lustray he decided to stay downstairs and sleep on the couch. At least that way he wouldn’t have to listen to all of Lustray’s questions and constantly deal with the “cold shoulder” attitude and the rejection of every flirtatious move. Ultimately, he began to feel like he never should have made the trip at all. “If I knew it was gonna be like this I would have stayed in Georgia saved some gas money and save some stress.” He was concerned about the baby being born and what names were probably going to be used. Preston began to feel like he wasn’t being involved in any of it. “Oh well, it’s best to get some sleep before I drive myself crazy. As he turned over in his bed he whispered to himself like he always did as of late, “Good night boys and Daddy hopes to see you soon.”
XIX
It was finally morning and Preston had the biggest kink in his neck from sleeping on that couch in the living room. The apartment was still quiet to be ten in the morning. Usually her kids were running around and getting one another’s nerves, but there was no sign. He decided to go and freshen up to see what movie they were going to watch. He popped up his laptop on the coffee table searched the Fandango website to find appropriate times and the right type of movie to watch to optimistically loosen up the mood. “Aha, perfect! Tyler Perry’s, Why did I Get Married? I heard that was a good movie to see and I didn’t hear anything bad about in the reviews I read. This will definitely light it up for the time being.”
Lustray burst through the door. Preston didn’t even realize that she had left. “Oh, hey where did run off to so early in the day?”
Lustray rolled her eyes at Preston, “Uh, hello genius, what else did you think I was going to do with the girls? I had to drop them off over Brandon’s house so that we could be alone.”
A slight grin began to come visible on Preston’s face, “Oh, okay girl I see you! See I knew you were smart, I knew I picked you for a reason,” he teased. “You know I was thinking back to our previous conversation and I didn’t know if I was tired or not; but did I hear you say ex-husband?”
“Yes, you heard correctly. And if it weren’t for Longs I would still be married. I had to throw on this huge girdle to hide the pregnancy and my girlfriend’s car wouldn’t start so I called your “Savior” to help me out as a witness, because there was no one else to call. Obviously, I couldn’t depend on you. And you know what?”
“No, what,” Preston wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer or not.
“I was divorced before I even got in the court room. Come to find out he had already filed in his home state of Georgia and I didn’t have to be in there at all. Now it’s your turn.”
Preston knew that was coming. “Now, like I told you before, it costs money and I have been doing all that could to put myself in a position to do so. I mean come on, look at you. It took you a year and a half with a pro bono lawyer. At least give me some time. It’s not that easy and you know that. I don’t know how you think that I am the law maker and I can just speed everything up at the drop of a dime. Come on, I have a nice day planned out for us and let’s just enjoy this beautiful Ohio weather and get on with this summer. But, the good thing is that we don’t have to worry about the baby having your husband’s last name anymore.”
Lustray just huffed, “You always want to change the subject when it is convenient for you, but I’m going upstairs to get some other clothes on so we can get out of here.”
Lustray wobbled up the stairs and Preston followed behind so that he could get dressed for the day and conduct some personal hygiene. The clock was ticking and he had a lot to fit in only a few hours.
XX
The day went by so fast and Preston couldn’t believe that it was already almost time for him to hit the road again. He thought the movie was great, but on second thought he felt that maybe it wasn’t such a good choice. He didn’t realize there would be so much talk about the “other” woman and he knew that Lustray would be sensitive to that. On the way back to her apartment he couldn’t take all of the questions: So am I only 20%? Is Delight the one? Do you really believe that Delight’s youngest is really your son? Preston just kept his mouth shut the entire way back with both his hands glued to the steering wheel.
Once they got back into the apartment, Preston felt it was time to make his move. “There is no way that I’m going to come all of the way up here and not get any,” he thought to himself. As she prepared food in the kitchen he decided to go in and try to sneak a kiss and got turned down. Lustray just grunted and turned her head away from him. She told him to go sit on the couch and that she would be right back.
Preston didn’t know what that was all about and he was definitely not the one to go and try to rape someone. Never have and never will. He would rather play with himself before it ever got that far. But, that was only a last resort and Preston knew for sure that he had at least a few hours to “work his magic”.
Lustray went upstairs and came back down with a few papers in a folder and a pen. Preston didn’t know what to think, but he patiently waited to see what all of the formality was about. Lustray sat next to Preston on the couch and her hands started to shake with nervousness and her voice started to quiver like there was something inside of her burning to get out. She looked him in the eye and began her speech. “Preston, you put me through a lot and you have displayed a lack of self control and deliberately lived a life of deceit and vulgarity. You have taken away my independence and you have done nothing but had your cake and eat it; and you got fat off of it. Here I have some papers for you to sign that states that I will not let you have any contact with me ever and that you have maintained a relationship with Mrs. Delight Brown. All you have done is lied your way into the relationship and repeatedly told lie after lie. It also states that if you try to get in touch with me or our son, no matter if we are in public to say hello, you will be reported to your entire ministerial branch and everything that you have worked for will be disintegrated.” She held the papers up at eye’s view and every phone number listed on there that Preston could see was very accurate. She even had all of their e-mail addresses and cell phone numbers.
Preston just deflated inside. His mouth began to dry out and his mind just drew a blank. He didn’t know what to say or even describe to himself what he was feeling. Maybe he shouldn’t sign it. But, then again if she was serious enough to go through all of that work to dig up that information she was more than serious about protecting herself. Preston had a hunch that she would pull something like that. After all, she was doing it to her own little girl and who would think she would treat him any different? Some peopl
e were just satisfied with being sick and when things got tough they resorted to what they were use to.
Preston knew that he messed up and in a major way, but this would just kill his pride. All he knew how to do well was be a father to his children. Now he was in a position to lose that appointment. Of course, he didn’t want to sign those papers, but what else was he to do? If she were serious or not he would never know. All he knew was that the ministry was all he had. There was no job he could get with his undergraduate degree and all of the debt he went into would be a waste. “The Devil sho’ do know how to isolate you and destroy purpose,” Preston pondered to himself as he signed those papers with deep regret. He felt like a funeral was starting inside of him. Just after he thought he was as low as he could possibly go, life’s surprises never ceased to amaze him. Here he was signing his life away to someone he wasn’t even married and forfeiting all of his child’s birthrights.
Lustray kept her lips tight and her face straight until all copies were signed. “Preston now I’m going to take a copy over to Brandon’s so that there will be one over there and I am going to get my girls. If you want to sleep here you can, but other than that I hope that you do right by your family. I already told your wife what I was doing and I told her there is no reason for us to ever have any more contact again once this is done.”
Preston didn’t really know what he wanted to do. He thought that getting away from town for a while would help out, but he found that no matter where you go whatever issues one didn’t take care of, they would be sure to follow anywhere. Where was he going to go? It was too late to hit the road and he was already mentally exhausted. There was no way that he could go back to Delight’s after the way he treated her before he left and he already signed a new lease for her and the kids to move into another subdivision. Preston felt there was no way out. He was trapped like a black man with a slave mentality. Children he wants to see, but can’t and one that he probably will never see in his life.
Ultimately, Preston decided to sit in the living room and just think about what he needed to do in order to get his mind back on track. “Well, I have to go back to Georgia and control what I can control and let the chips fall where they may. I’m grown and I accept that, but this pain is killer. How do I get out of here?” He was glad Lustray was gone for the time being and that he had some time to think to himself in silence. In fact, Preston just called it an early night, took a shower, and did everything he needed to do before he hit the road the following morning.
Lustray walked back through the door with her girls and the girls came up to Preston to give him a hug. “Mr. Brown are you back to stay with us,” they asked in unison.
“Sorry girls, not today, I’m just visiting for the weekend. I’m just getting a little bit of sleep before I have to take a long trip back to Georgia.”
“Hey girls, tell him you will see him later and go upstairs and get yourselves in the shower so that you can get in bed.”
The girls did as they were told and Preston felt like him and Lustray were complete strangers. He wanted to offer some words of reconciliation, but figured there was already too much damage done for that to take place at the time. Preston laid down on the couch and tossed and turned for the remainder of the night and early morning.
XXI
Morning felt as if it blended into the night. Sleep wasn’t good and all there was left was to say good-bye one last time to Lustray. So he made his way upstairs to see Lustray and let her know that he was leaving. He cracked the door open and whispered to her, “I’m leaving now. Uh, I don’t really know what else to say, but that I wish things worked out differently. Before I leave could I at least get a hug?” Lustray rejected the notion with a slow head shake. Preston held back his tears and asked, “Please let him know that he comes from good people and that his Dad loves him.” Preston closed the door, put his set of apartment keys on the lampstand and drove off with the bag of Preston’s leftover possessions that Lustray packed. Preston knew at the moment his life would never be the same. In that instant he was even more enticed to drive by the house and see if Delight was really pregnant.
TO BE CONTINUED……..
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR BOOK CLUBS
1. If you were Preston would you have agreed to go to counseling with Delight even though you weren’t interested in what the counselor had to say?
2. Do any of you know anyone who is in the same position as Preston? Or, know someone who is pregnant by a married man? After reading this what advice would you give them?
3. Do you agree with the pastor telling Preston not to worry about his unborn child? How would that decision tie in with all of the Father Initiatives going on across the country that the government pushes for when there are pastors out there that give that type of guidance when it comes to taking care of our broken youth today?
4. Even though Preston was wrong, do you think that he wasting his time praying to God? Have you ever struggled with a situation and tried to talk to God anyway? Did it just feel like the right thing to do or the only thing to do?
5. What are you doing in your present relationships now to prevent such measures of embarrassment that could result in more pain down the road? Are you setting boundaries? If so, what are they?
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