The voice on the other line started to soften up Preston. It was the voice of his mother! “Hey son! I hope that you aren’t talking to your wife like that. I’m sure that I raised you better than that. And I know that you aren’t talking about getting an abortion of one of MY grandchildren. But, anyway you know she couldn’t wait to tell us. Ha! Ha! Now you know I need to remain neutral between the two of y’all so don’t put me into the middle of any of your crap! All I want to know is are the kids are okay and if you knew yet?” Mama Brown always got a kick out of the drama the kids were going through during their young adult years, because she once lived her fair share of soap operas and was able to talk others through their own miseries. That was one thing Preston could not understand. He never could figure out why Delight always called HIS mother and talk her ear off. But that’s what women did. Women are more emotional, full of detail, and in times of distress, there had to be a sense of love and listening ears surrounding them.
Preston’s tone quickly changed and he kept silent as his mother from birth voiced her opinion and position. “I hear you mom, but she knows that I don’t want her and I’m doing other things so I don’t know why it is so hard to get that through her thick skull. Why doesn’t she go get on someone else’s nerves? Don’t you know she even went as far as calling my supervisor over here and telling him EVERYTHING? I tell you what, I thought there was some chance for reconciliation, but there is no chance whatsoever after she pulled that stunt. I can’t even look at her the same anymore. She looks so ugly to me right now!!!!!!” Preston was filled with hostility and anger and at that point there was nothing Mama Brown could do with a grown-man that was filled with intense anger.
“Well, Preston the best that I can tell you is to pray about it and thank God for the legacy of children that you do have. I just hope that you can keep contact with the kids and that we can still see them that’s all. Try talking to your older brothers and see how they are doing. They would like to hear from you sometime. Love you and talk to you later, son.”
Was she starting to take her side now? What was really going on? After all of this time, has his mother taking the side of the opposition? Preston knew when his mother was trying to speak to him constructively and how women somehow formed a bond to persuade men other than their initial intentions.
It was already 3 o’clock in the afternoon and the only person Preston didn’t speak to was Lustray so he dialed her up to see what was going on with her. From the way things were going he didn’t put it past Delight to call her and tell her all of the “good news”. As the phone rang he brain stormed about how he would open up the conversation. Should he sound thrilled or calm? Serious or jokingly? Worried or secured?
“Hello, Preston and what do you want now,” Lustray answered irritably.
“Hey, hey, hey, what’s the entire attitude for? I call you to find out why you didn’t call me this morning and what was going on?”
“I don’t Preston, you tell me. After all your wife felt that it was okay to call me and wake me up to let me know that you two are having another child together. I was just trying to figure out why I was just finding out. You were the one telling me that you were done with her and that everything that you were doing was simply to get yourself right to get away from her and be a family with us. But I guess you were just being typical old Preston up to your selfish ways. Oh and by the way I found out that we’re having a son after the ultrasound with the doctor today.”
“Did everyone go to the doctor this week,” Preston couldn’t believe he just said that out loud. “Look, she’s just doing that so that I can get back with her. You know how women are; they go crazy when they find out someone else is in the picture. That’s all she’s trying to do and you are falling right into that trap. Don’t let her get in your head, that’s her game and she does it to everyone. Just calm down and let it play out.”
“So did you have sex with her?”
“I’m married to her, what do you think we did the entire time, stay celibate? Of course we had sex!”
“No Preston, I’m talking within the last two months!” Now Lustray started to sound a little more forceful with her interrogating techniques and downright fearful.
Preston started to get a headache and decided it was time to end the conversation. He swallowed the lump in his throat and proceeded, “Yes, I did it was shortly after everything was let out and her emotions were running high and she got me while I was laying down in bed.”
“So, what? You just decided to get hard and make a baby while you two were arguing?”
“Look it’s just a man thing that you could never understand. It didn’t look like I was going to get back with you any time soon and all of the sex between her and I was legal.”
“So you decided to go in bareback with no protection? For a man with your intelligence that is just retarded!”
The young minister couldn’t take anymore insults for the day so he abruptly stated, “Hey the pastor needs me to get some more work done, so I’ll get back to you tonight, okay?”
“Whatever, bye.” Lustray hung up the phone and Preston was so relieved that she did it instead of him, because he would have never heard the end of it if it were to happen vice versa. He was in no hurry to call back so he finally got back to his commentaries and books to preach on the book of Hosea.
XVI
Lustray could not believe what she was hearing from Preston or Delight. “Maybe they were meant to be together,” Lustray thought to herself. “They both are some lyin’ asses.”
She was determined that she would not play the fool anymore. She could not rid the images of Preston rolling in the bed with Delight and then coming over to her bed to do the same exact thing. Why did men have to be so immature and selfish? There had to be some decent black men in the world somewhere. “So, if he wants to keep lying to me along with his toothpick wife, I’ve got something to get rid of the both of them out of my sight,” her nerves were so shot that all she could do was pace throughout the house with her belly hitting every corner that she turned in the house.
Lustray knew exactly where Preston was serving and who he was endorsed by to provide ministry. So she went on the internet to look up exactly which synod sponsored him and all of the points of contact from the top down. She gathered every e-mail that Preston ever had written her and all of the intimate text messages and voice mails that she saved all along. She didn’t know exactly when she was going to use it, but she knew for sure that the next time that she saw him she would let him have it.
Right after gathering everything, Preston sent a text stating: I WILL B THERE NEXT WEEKEND SO BE READY! It was just what she was waiting for. This was the perfect opportunity for her to play the jokes on Preston and that she meant business! She has dealt enough with the lying, emotional abuse, and the delay in her schooling fooling around with him even though she knew he was married. Why was she holding onto him? What did he have that no other man had that she was involved didn’t? This was the beginning of the end and to spice it up even more. She needed answers…she needed to talk to Delight!
She snatched out her phone and dialed Delight’s number on speed dial. It was a good thing that they exchanged numbers and acted buddy-buddy for the time being so she could dig up as much information as she could.
During the conversation Lustray played the victim and they both shared every knick and cranny Preston ever did with the both of them. Some points were more exaggerated than others, but it was all part of the game to get one leg up over the other. The conversation lasted more than a couple hours and there was more to dig up within the coming week.
Before the conversation closed Lustray concluded, “Delight, I just want you to know that I will be having him sign papers to never contact me and that if he does I will notify the proper authorities and I am more than sure will crumble his career and reputation that he has developed over the years. He is not to be involved with me or my son if we are to be seen in public. And, this is not
a competition, he is supposed to be here on Saturday and I will give him the papers then and I will be making sure that he signs and gets a copy as well as giving my friend Brandon a copy so that I do have a witness if tries to break the rules that I set out.”
There was no dispute on the other line and Lustray felt empowered and could not wait for Preston to make that nine hour ride so that she could serve him “Lustray style!”
XVII
Preston was enjoying his study as he prepared for his sermon the next day. The conversations with Delight and Lustray have been minimal and honestly, it’s the best he has felt in a long time. He was able to concentrate, focus, and do what he loved to do best and that was to dig into the Word of God. He loved to break down Scripture and display his knowledge of the etymology of words. He was an expert at parsing Greek and Hebrew verbs and he did it effortlessly. He was able to read in between the lines and make stories out of stories and it showed in his devotion to continuous study.
“Man, Hosea was a true soldier to obey God like that. I would have never in my life been able to stomach some of the stuff that she did to Hosea. It doesn’t say but I would bet that all of the children Hosea cared for were not even his biological children. That takes a lot of soul searching and a strong faith to do such an act, but it is noble and he found his reward in the end. It’s really never about what we want, but it’s about what God wants and the fruits will come. Whew, to stay married, you really do need God.”
As he meditated on his Scripture reading it made him think of Delight and how she was ready to dive in head first and be a step mother to his unborn child. But, Preston couldn’t do that to Delight. In some ways he felt that he was better off just moving somewhere else and just paid child support while he lived humbly for the rest of his life. He knew deep down that for the next few months he would be living a life of survival. He could remember Longs going through a divorce in seminary for over two years and how miserable he was until it was over with. Even then Preston felt like he was still missing something. Divorce had to be a demoralizer in some respects and at this point, this was the risk he was willing to take. He figured if he kept praying God will let him know where to be in the end and it would be alright. But right now his soul was hurt and he couldn’t find any answers. Furthermore, the more that he studied the more he felt like a phony. He felt like one of those televangelists that use to manipulate innocent people on television on Sunday mornings. “I at least owe the people a faithful word from God and not me.” For some odd reason he just felt compelled to get down on his knees and pray and ask for some more help:
Lord,
You know my circumstance and I am really struggling right now. I’m trying to pick the lesser of two evils and I am not sure which one is which. I believe that I put women before you and I know that you are a jealous God. So please steer me in the right direction as I try to be a better father and example to ALL of my children, born and unborn. I know I’ve been wrong, but through you I know there is a way to make it right. I’m just in a flux of reason and pride and I’m so messed up now that I can’t distinguish the two. Please don’t treat me like I’m not your people, but I do thank you for giving me the right mind to call on your name.”
Preston was bent so far down on his knees that his feet lost circulation. It was one of the most quiet Saturday nights he’s ever had and it was a sad lonely feeling to be by himself instead of the enjoyment of family that he use to have. “Well, I guess those days are over and I might as well start getting use to such a lifestyle. I guess that’s where my dad found his peace when he chose to live by himself for all of these years. I’m my daddy’s son and there is just no way around it. Maybe that’s why he was so forceful about keeping life simple and placing all of my eggs in one basket. Now I’m paying the price. This is horrible.”
SUNDAY MORNING
Once again, Preston hated the feeling of waking up by himself and not talking to someone everyone morning that he got so accustomed to. It helped him realize that time with God was more important than anything and it really made him feel a little lighter on the inside.
He preached an awesome sermon and the parishioners were actually requesting sound recordings and podcasts. It took him back to what his preaching teacher revealed to him once in seminary; that in order to preach, you need to have your butt whooped! That was exactly what Preston was experiencing. He never thought of himself to be an emotional preacher in the pulpit, but there was no way that he could hold back his feelings and how the Word preached pierced through his heart as it did those that were on the edge of their seats trying to catch every word that rolled off of his tongue as he elaborated on every verse and brought it from ancient times into the contemporary.
After the service the pastor gave him a favorable nod with a grin and just walked away like he was some sort of angel dropping off blessings and spreading them all over the world. As he drove home and looked at the trees down the road he uttered, “That word hit me like a comet. It’s a shame that I messed up so bad. Well, I might as well go home and start laying out my plans for the upcoming weekend since I have off. The liberty of preaching feels so good, now I’m reduced to going back into the sinner’s pew because I’m not worthy of such a noble position. It seems like every where I turn there is a road block. How in the world do I get out of here? It’s as if there’s an invisible force field blocking me from happiness. I don’t know how men that have five “baby mamas” deal with it. You have to have a very cold heart to just let a seed of yours go into the world fatherless.”
XVIII
THE FOLLOWING WEEK
Preston was excited to be packing his bags and getting ready to hit the road. It was so lonely sitting in a room and just reading and studying all day. Preston needed a thrill, something to be excited about. Life didn’t feel right to him without “it”. He had the whole weekend planned out with Lustray. He wouldn’t get there until 1 a.m. so the first night he would just crash and rest up for the next morning. The following morning he would eat breakfast lounge, and talk about plans for the baby coming in the next coming weeks. Then later that afternoon, they would go out to lunch and a movie and Preston couldn’t wait for them to get together and do what they did best later that evening. He would explain to her how he’s already got a studio apartment lease set up for the Fall and how he could be available to watch after his son and spend time with him if she needed a helping hand. He was so excited that she would be graduating from school in the summer since it was something she’s been trying to do for the last seven years after working and bad relationships that have had her all backed up. But, no matter what the circumstance, nine months pregnant and all she still made it through.
Preston made sure that he had all bases covered before he made his way onto I-20. He bought a fresh new set of clothes, cell phone was fully charged, and CD’s were all lined up in playing order. “This weekend is going to be great,” he thought to himself. Throughout the week all he could think about was a full body massage and relaxing while someone else cooked for him. For Preston to cook for himself and being lazy most of the time; he usually reduced himself to eating fast food at times. Fast food was not one of the favorite parts of Preston’s diet, but whenever he did eat out he was good about ordering something with baked chicken or fish.
Finally, Preston hit the road with his shades on and music blasting. Even while in the Carolina and Virginia hills he still maintained an eight five miles per hour average speed. He didn’t want to be on the road any longer than he needed to. He made it to Lustray’s apartment in seven hours and thirty minutes flat!
He still had a key to the apartment so he let himself in while the apartment was very dark and quiet on the inside. He could see Lustray’s curvy silhouette in the doorway as he entered with his travel bag for the weekend. “Hello...you could put your bags over there in the corner and food is in the microwave. Once you do that you can crash.”
Preston looked at her with a stank face, “Oh, so that’s it
? You ain’t give me no huggin’ or kissin’ or nothing? I know you’re still not trippin’ over that whole thing about Delight? I’m here talking to you and I drove all of this way to see you and not her. Can’t you at least see that?”
Lustray’s expression did not change. She just stood there with her belly sticking out in her maternity clothes. She just looked like the walking dead; just mundane and apathetic looking. “You’re just too complicated and I can’t take the stress while I’m pregnant. It’s just not healthy at all.”
Her hair was down like she just got out of the shower so that cracked Preston’s ice breaker of complimenting her on her hair. So he came out with, “So school is almost done aren’t you excited about that?”
“Not really, because now I have another mouth to feed and I have to find a graduate school to go into for teaching. Then, I have to find another job in order to show proof of income so that I can move to wherever I’m going to.”
“Well, why don’t you just go on at Ohio State and finish since you are already there? That way you don’t have to worry about moving the girls into a new district and all that extra stuff,” Preston campaigned. It really didn’t sound like Lustray had Preston in her immediate future plans and it was the weekend so he wasn’t really in the mood for any hostility so he kept it to a minimum.
How Do I Get Out of Here Page 8