Blinding Mirror

by Shelley Halima

  “That’s good,” said Sofia. “We really want to find out more about our family. I’ve found out some things online but I know there’s so much that can’t be found on a computer and only our family can tell us about.”

  “I’ll tell you as much as you want to know when you get here. When I came back here I had to become reacquainted with my family and our traditions. I used to think that being progressive meant moving away from that.”

  “Grandmother, I can’t wait to meet you,” said Sofia.

  There was silence on the line for a moment and Sofia thought perhaps she’d been a little presumptuous to call her grandmother.

  “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to call me that. You don’t know how good it sounds.”

  “Isabella and I are twins and it will be our birthday when we arrive there. I can’t think of a better way for us to celebrate it than with our family.”

  Isabella wrote down the address information before they wrapped the call. They told their grandmother they would call her after making firm travel arrangements.

  “That went a lot better than I thought it would,” Isabella said, after they ended the call.

  “I know! I’m so relieved she didn’t curse us out or something.”

  “She’s sounds really articulate.”

  Sofia looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I can’t believe you said that.”

  “What? I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “I know you didn’t but it sounds so patronizing. If she were white would her speaking articulately even get a mention?”

  “You’re right.”

  “Well, let’s begin our preparations to meet our family.”

  Chapter 73

  As Isabella drove down El Cajon Boulevard, Sofia pointed out their grandmother’s street. Sofia spotted the address but there was nowhere to park in front of the house or in the driveway. Isabella drove down about three houses to a vacant spot. They gave each other reassuring looks before getting out of the car. Sofia’s heart was racing. Isabella hadn’t said anything, but Sofia was willing to wager she was equally nervous. The yard was full of children playing and adults standing about talking and laughing in front of the modest but well-kept Spanish Craftsman home. The bushes in front were decorated with streamers and balloons. Sofia and Isabella exchanged huge grins when they saw a huge homemade banner that read “Welcome Isabella and Sofia - Happy Birthday!” As they got to the walkway leading to the house, everyone turned to them. A little boy ran up to them.

  “Are you Isabelle and Sofia?” he inquired excitedly.

  “I’m Sofia and this is Isabella.”

  “Isabella. Hi! I’m Eber.”

  They took turns shaking his tiny hand.

  An older woman who looked to be in her sixties came up to them.

  “Look at what lovely young women you are! I’m your Aunt Adriana from your grandfather’s side.” She gave both of them a warm embrace.

  Soon others gathered around and Aunt Adriana made introductions.

  “This is Felix, you met little Eber, Thalia, Rafael, Karen, Benjo, Oscar, Heather, Suezette, Marycela, Tim, Javier.”

  “My boyfriend is named Javier. It must be a good name for handsome men.” Sofia smiled as she saw the teenage boy blush.

  Aunt Adriana continued introducing everyone who was outside. Sofia was amazed at the mixture of cousins, great aunts and uncles that were a variety of hues.

  “Now let’s go inside and so you can meet your grandmother.”

  As soon as they got to the front door, Sofia saw a woman standing inside the door who she was sure was their grandmother. Her short curly hair was mostly gray, and she appeared physically smaller than in the photograph. When they spoke on the phone again, she mentioned to Sofia that she’d contracted diabetes years before and had to change her diet. She was steadying herself with the use of a cane as she opened the door.

  “Sofia and Isabella?”

  “Yes, I’m Sofia and this is Isabella.” They took turns giving their grandmother a warm embrace.

  “You both are so beautiful! Come in, come in. You’ve got more family here to meet.”

  They followed her into the kitchen where more introductions were made. There looked to be literally two dozen dishes made and placed in serving dishes on the long kitchen table.

  “We can’t tell you all how much we appreciate your going to all this trouble for us,” announced Sofia.

  “Don’t even think about thanking us,” chastised Aunt Adriana. “This is what we do for family. And that’s what you are. Pepe, tell everyone to come inside, we’re about to start with dinner.”

  There was not enough room at the dining table for everyone so many spilled into the kitchen and living room.

  Inès stood from her place at the table and held up her glass.

  “I want to give a quick toast.” She paused as she gathered her thoughts. “I lost my daughter years ago but it is still in my prayers that I get to see her one day. One of the best days of my life was when I found out that I have granddaughters. I thank God for bringing them into our lives. Here’s to Sofia and Isabella!”

  The room was filled with “Salud!” and the clinking sound of glasses touching in cheers. Sofia decided to stand and say something as well.

  “I just want to thank you all for giving us such a warm welcome. And I really look forward to getting to know all of you and about our family. This is my first time here but I feel as if I’m home.” She sat back down as she was greeted with applause and cheers.

  Sofia and Isabella were both curious about the names of the dishes being served. Their Aunt Adriana let them know they were, pozole, enchiladas de mole, ceviche, nopalitos salad, carnitas, arroz a la poblana, chiles en nogada and frijoles a la poblano. There were still more dishes in the kitchen. The girls tried to sample as many of the dishes as they could and barely had any room for the tres leches cake that was brought out for dessert.

  After dinner everyone went back outside where some chairs had been set up in the yard. Sofia found out from her grandmother that the music playing from the huge portable radio was called Norteño.

  “You know, I just realized I have no idea what the two of you do,” said Inès to her granddaughters.”

  “Yes, what is it that you both do?” inquired Aunt Adriana.

  “I own and run a spa with my friend Grace.”

  “A spa?” asked Inès.

  “Yes and you both are invited to come to Georgia any time you want. I would love for you to have a day of pampering.”

  “That’s so sweet of you,” said Inès. “I would enjoy that very much. What about you, Isabella?”

  “I run a property management company that our father started.”

  “That’s great. Sofia, you mentioned your father passed away,” said Ines, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Thank you. He died from a brain aneurysm. It was very sudden,” Sofia replied. “One day we were planning a trip to Europe and the next he was gone.”

  “That’s terrible. What about my other granddaughter, Lourdes? What does she do?”

  Sofia gave Isabella a quick glance.

  “Um, she’s between jobs.”

  “I wish she could’ve made it. I wanted to meet her, too.”

  Neither of the girls had the heart to tell their grandmother that it wasn’t very likely to happen.

  “I’m so proud of you. You are so young and yet successful businesswomen. Later on you’ll meet your other cousins Lynette and Maria who have run their own businesses as well. You have another cousin named John who is planning to run for Senate in Corpus Christi. This generation in our family is doing things we only could dream of and you make us proud.”

  “Thank you,” Isabella and Sofia said in unison.

  “Do either of you happen to have a picture of my daughter?” Inès asked softly.

  Sofia looked to Isabella.

  “I still have one in my wallet. I’ll go inside and get it.”

  Isabella sa
id “still” because she had meant to take the photo out of her wallet. She went inside to retrieve the picture and was back a few minutes later.

  “I’m sorry it took me a minute. I stopped to talk to Uncle Fredo. “Here it is.”

  Isabella handed over the picture to her grandmother.

  “This is my Oliva?”

  “Yes.”

  Inès began to cry. Sofia stroked her arm and shoulder to comfort her. Aunt Adriana leaned over to see the picture.

  “Heavens, I haven’t seen her since I came to visit when she was only around five-years-old.”

  “She was still just a teenager when I last saw her.” Inès continued staring at the picture.

  “You can have that if you’d like, grandmother,” said Isabella.

  “Thank you,” Inès whispered. She became lost in her thoughts of past incidents and her regrets over them. There were so many things she would do differently if she could. She’d been back in San Diego a year when she fell into a diabetic coma. When she came back around she began to re-assess her life. She finally went to church with Adriana who had been begging her to go for months. After her niece, Karen convinced her to seek counseling, she eventually came to grips with the pain she’d been holding in about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father and also how that pain was inflicted upon her child. She always told herself that besides a few incidents where she lost control with Oliva she wasn’t nearly as bad as her father. Then she realized that withholding her love and affection was just as damaging, if not more so. There were times when she wished she had continued to hold everything in because the reality of her actions was almost too much to bear. What was most painful was she knew she would never have from her daughter what she wanted most–her forgiveness.

  Sofia and Isabella decided to try and dance and they ended up laughing over Isabella’s complete lack of rhythm. They decided to stand to the side and watch some of their relatives dance. Isabella put her arm around Sofia’s shoulder. Sofia was surprised by the gesture.

  And in that moment she realized how rare the moments of affection between them had been that her sister placing an arm around her shoulder could catch her off guard. She put an arm around Isabella’s waist. As they looked at each other, they both understood that not only were they discovering a new family, but also each other.

  Chapter 74

  Olivia’s head jolted up as she snapped awake. She was lounging on the patio outside the bedroom she was occupying during her stay in the Hamptons. The home was nothing short of spectacular and was located right off of Gardiner’s Bay. The past few weeks had done wonders for her mentally and physically. Because she was a bit older, it took her longer to heal from her surgery than if she’d done it when she was in her twenties. But now she was back to normal and in her own estimation, looking even better than ever. She still felt a touch of sadness over what happened with Isabella, but there was nothing she could do about the situation.

  Things were looking up for Lourdes. She’d met a man the night before at Lizzie’s party. She called the house and had Charlotte relay a message to her that she wasn’t coming home until today. She also told Charlotte to tell her mother “100 plus” which was their code word for a man whose net worth exceeded one hundred million. She couldn’t be happier for her child. She hoped everything would work out to Lourdes’s advantage. Of course, she would guide her the best way she could and make sure Lourdes didn’t get duped by men the way she had been.

  She had more than enough time to rest on her laurels. It was time for her to get back to work and stake her own claim on Mr. Fauntleroy. She would have her travel agent make reservations for Chicago and leave within the next day or so. She rose from the lounger and went inside to take a long soak.

  Just as Olivia was drying off she heard a knock on the door. Before she could respond, Lourdes opened the door and peeped in.

  “Mother, hurry and get dressed. I want you to come downstairs and meet who I hope will be your future son-in-law.”

  “And hello. How are you today?”

  Lourdes let out a laugh. “I don’t have time for formalities. Hurry! We’ll be in the dining room. Charlotte has to go to a cocktail party but she’s having her maid serve us up some lunch. Now come on!”

  “Okay! Just let me get decent. I’ll be down in ten minutes tops.”

  Lourdes gave her a wink and closed the door.

  Olivia walked through the living room to the dining room. Lourdes and her new conquest were at the table laughing and talking.

  Lourdes noticed her mother and waved her mother into the room. “Mother, I want you to meet a very special man.”

  He stood up from his chair and walked over to Olivia with his hand extended. There was something familiar about him but Olivia couldn’t quite place him.

  “Hello,” she greeted him with a smile.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Tony. Tony Carvalho.”

  Olivia drew her hand back as if it had touched a fire and stumbled back a step. Tony looked at Olivia, confused by her reaction. He turned to Lourdes who was equally perplexed.

  “Mother, what’s wrong?”

  Olivia began to tremble uncontrollably. Like a blind woman, she felt her way to a nearby chair, never taking her eyes off of Tony as she sat down.

  In an instant something clicked inside Tony. It had been a little over twenty-six years but he suddenly remembered the shabby but beautiful young woman. She now sat before him sophisticated and classy–older but still the same exotic beauty. She would’ve faded from his memory long ago had it not been for his sister who’d commissioned a painting to be done from a photograph of her. It was a picture that still hung in Pilar’s living room above the fireplace. It can’t be.

  “Oliva? Is that you?”

  Olivia didn’t respond. Her lips quivered and pools of tears formed in her eyes.

  Tony turned to Lourdes again. He remembered she told him her age the night before and he mentally did the calculations. A wave of nausea fell over him.

  “Oliva, puh-please tell me she isn’t my...I gave you money to...”

  When Olivia bowed her head and sobbed, it was all the answer he needed.

  “Oh, God!” He went to the living room where dropped down on one of the sofas.

  “What is going on, Mother?! You and Tony know each other?” Lourdes went over to her.

  There was something in the exchange between her mother and Tony that frightened her. What scared her more than anything was her mother. She’d never in her life seen her mother break down as she was doing at that moment. It was almost as if darkness had settled in the house. They obviously knew each other but something told her there was so much more to the story. She shook her mother’s arm. “Tell me!”

  “Lourdes, you know how much I love you.” She covered her face with her hands and cried.

  “Mother, tell me right now what’s going on?!”

  Olivia slowly removed her hands from her face. She knew what she was about to tell her daughter would destroy her but the cruelest of fates had removed the choice from her hands. There was no way out of it.

  “He, he’s your father.”

  Lourdes stepped backward until she was against the buffet table. She shook her head.

  “No, that’s not true. My father is dead. You told me that.” She jabbed her finger in her mother’s direction. “You told me he died. You told me. You told me...” Lourdes looked to the living room where Tony was now sitting with his head in his hands. The events of the last few hours swirled in her head. “Nooo!!!” Lourdes screamed. She grabbed the carving knife from the platter with the rack of lamb. She then lunged toward her mother, grabbing her by the neck of her blouse. With almost Herculean strength she lifted Olivia up with one hand and threw her to the floor. Lourdes pounced on top of her.

  Olivia looked into the wild, enraged eyes of her daughter and winced as she felt the sharp point of the knife being held just beneath her chin.

  “How could you do this to me
?! I overlooked all of your lies, Mother! I made excuses for them! But this—I’ll never forgive you! Do you hear me?! Don’t you realize what I’ve done?!”

  Olivia exhaled sharply as the tip of the knife punctured her skin slightly but she didn’t try to fight. One of her biggest deceptions had been revealed and the effects were nothing short of horrendous. All she wanted at that very moment was for her daughter to sink in the knife because death would be welcome. Neither one of them would recover from the effects of her deceit nor did she believe she would be able to live with herself knowing she could have saved her daughter all this anguish if she’d just been truthful.

  “Just do it,” she whispered. “Please.”

  As her daughter drew back the knife, preparing to plunge it into her flesh, she closed her eyes and waited for an end so she would no longer have to bear witness to all the madness she caused.

  Tony finally snapped out of his stupor and saw what was happening in the next room. He rushed in and managed to wrestle the knife from Lourdes’s hand. Lourdes stared down at her mother. She got up and went into the living room and retrieved her purse. Without so much as a backward glance to her mother and Tony, she walked out the front door.

  “How could you?!” Tony shouted. “You were supposed to have an abortion! Why didn’t you tell her about me or me about her?!”

  Olivia only stared up at the ceiling as she continued to lie on her back. Tony was standing right over her and screaming but he may as well have been miles away. She wished she had kept Lourdes over in France. Then none of this would have happened. Her true identity wouldn’t have been revealed and Lourdes wouldn’t have gone to that party last night. She would give her life if she could go back over the last few weeks and redo everything.

  Chapter 75

  The incessant ringing of the doorbell awakened Sofia. She glanced at the clock and saw it was three a.m. She got up and grabbed her robe from the bottom of the bed and headed out the room. Isabella met her in the hallway.