The Bright Side Brigade

by Elaine White

  Me too, was sent back, which didn't surprise him.

  Hadn't Romany been talking all night about how his dream job was to work with cars and restore them? Hadn't he said his dream car was a Lamborghini?

  Karsyn hadn't told him about the garage offer, because he wanted to use it on Anonymous first and see what reaction he got. He felt confirmation in that two-word reply. Maybe, after you come out, you could come work with me? he suggested, only able to imagine what it would be like to see Romany in that setting.

  That would be a dream, Anonymous said, with what he could only hope were the same wistful images that were going through his head.

  It's late and we have school tomorrow, so go off and dream about being with me. We'll talk more tomorrow, he promised, pretty sure those thoughts of a greased up mechanic version of Romany would have him sleeping like a baby.

  I love you, Karsyn, he said, rather brazenly.

  Karsyn loved it. I know. And I could love you, if you only let me, he vowed, trying to quietly challenge that lack of self-confidence in him. It didn't matter really; he would see him in person and tackle it there. Where he couldn't run off.

  Chapter 8

  Two Days Later

  By the time Saturday arrived, Karsyn was on edge. Ryder was coming over in an hour to watch some movies and he would have to make sure he understood they were just friends. To make it worse, or better, he wasn't sure, Romany had come over the day before straight after school. That was the good part.

  He'd been chatting to Anonymous all day, throughout his classes, then they headed home at quarter to one and he suddenly went silent. No texts, no notes, no IMs and he felt pretty sure that it was because Romany was Anonymous and they were together at the time. He could hardly sit with his phone in his hand, sending off messages at the same time that Karsyn was sitting in the same room receiving them. Not while keeping up pretences that he wasn't Anonymous.

  The annoying part was that, although he loved Romany's company, he was withdrawn. He didn't say much about himself or anything overly personal when they were together. Yet, Karsyn knew that if he was his Anonymous friend and they were IM-ing or texting, then he would open up. He just wished he could have both at the same time.

  It did, however, seem to be confirmation that Romany was Anonymous and that thought had troubled him all night. Once he got rid of Ryder and made himself clear, he was going to tackle the issue head on. He could only hope that he was right and didn't insult Anonymous by guessing wrong and driving him away. Even if Anonymous wasn't Romany, he wanted them to stay friends.

  Karsyn sank onto the sofa, with a DVD in the player, and patted the seat beside him. Jareth came bounding over and curled up beside him, placing his head on his knee.

  He was waiting for Ryder to show up before playing the movie, Die Hard. In the meantime, he lifted a can of Coke from the coffee table and settled back in his seat to wait. When an advert came on for a new 'How to' cooking show, he grabbed the remote and added it to the planner so that it would record the entire series for his mother. From what he saw in the advert, she was going to love it.

  The doorbell interrupted him, just as he pressed confirm. He waited until the recorder was set and backed off the planner before going to the door.

  Ryder was there when he opened it, in tight jeans and a white shirt open at the collar. He looked a little dressed up for just watching movies, and suddenly Karsyn wondered if he should have made an effort; he was only wearing joggers and a jumper that was too big for him. He liked to be comfortable when lounging on the sofa.

  “Hey.” Ryder smiled brightly, as he walked in and headed straight for the sofa. He, rather rudely, pointed to Jareth, then the floor. “Down, doggy.”

  “Um, he's okay,” he objected, too stunned to be more forceful. Jareth looked at him as if to ask who the hell Ryder thought he was, coming in and removing him from the sofa. Karsyn had to agree.

  “But if he's there, then there's no room for me,” Ryder complained, turning on what he had once thought was an adorable pout. Now it was just whiny and annoying.

  “Sure there is.” He went for placating him rather than getting mad. He closed the door and took his seat on the sofa, only for Jareth to instinctively get up and walk across his lap to the other side. The side, he noticed, that was as far from Ryder as he could get without getting down. It was just like him to refuse to give Ryder what he wanted. “There.” He smiled up at his old friend and patted the seat beside him.

  Ryder stared at it for a moment before shrugging and sitting down far too close. He decided not to move away; Ryder was already in a strange mood, so Karsyn wasn't going to tempt fate.

  During the movie Karsyn wondered if there were two sides to Ryder. They talked a little about the plot and their favourite and not so favourite scenes, they talked about how the series was never really over, because there was always talk of a new film. They even laughed and joked together over popcorn and cans of Coke. He relaxed so much that he almost didn't see it coming when a hand slipped onto his knee.

  Karsyn froze, not sure if it was there just because Ryder was talking and gesturing so animatedly that he never noticed what he was doing, or if it was a deliberate thing. Either way, he felt cornered rather than accepting, as he would feel if it was Romany. He laughed at his joke and discretely gave Jareth the signal to get up and go towards Ryder. He looked sceptical, but his boy got up and did as he asked, walking across his lap and heading for his friend.

  “Oh.” Ryder jumped back when he realised Jareth was close to his face, and his hand disappeared from Karsyn's knee.

  With a sigh of relief, he slipped off the sofa. “Come on, you. Let's go get your lunch.” He laughed, as if he found it funny. “Sorry about that, he's just hungry,” he apologised weakly.

  Ryder nodded and stayed well away from Jareth, even as he turned on the sofa and jumped off to follow him into the kitchen. He knew the golden word 'lunch' would grab his attention, no matter how much he didn't like Ryder being on his sofa.

  When he pulled a tin of dog meat from the cupboard, Jareth knew better than to jump up on the counter. “Good boy.” He patted his head as he pulled the ring-pull with the other hand. To his surprise, Ryder walked into the kitchen and leaned his hip against the counter close to him. They shared a smile as he gave Jareth his lunch, then set about getting another two cans of juice from the fridge.

  When he closed the door, Ryder was far too close for comfort. He moved to take a step back, but Ryder caught his shoulders to stop him. As soon as he moved in to kiss him, Karsyn took a step back.

  Shit. Anonymous had been right. This was one of those unofficial dates where things were expected to be private and cosy. And he'd once again been oblivious, too preoccupied, and too much of a coward to do the right thing.

  Confusion and anger reigned in Ryder's eyes, but he said nothing; he cocked his head and tried to lean in again, so Karsyn moved to the opposite side of the kitchen.

  “Look, I'm sorry you got the wrong idea, but I'm not interested in being more than friends,” he apologised, hoping that would be enough.

  Ryder frowned at him, as if he really didn't understand, and looked away. “No…I-I'm sorry. I…I shouldn't have…” he said. It was strange; it didn't sound as if he was stuttering because he was nervous or embarrassed, but because he was confused and didn't know what else to say.

  “I didn't know you were–”

  “I'm not!” he snapped, glaring at him.

  Karsyn raised his eyebrows in surprise; if he wasn't gay then what the hell was he doing trying to kiss him? And why was he trying so hard to flirt with him? “I'm sorry. I just thought–”

  “I don't really know why I did that,” he explained, passing it off with a wave of his hand that said it wasn't important.

  Karsyn wondered if he did this a lot; tried to kiss random guys and then made out like it was nothing when they backed off. Or was he bisexual, so he didn't want to be labelled gay, but wasn't ready to admit that to
him either?

  “It's okay,” he excused it, in case he was in the closet and didn't want to admit that he wanted to kiss him.

  “No, it's not.” Ryder glared at him again and, this time, he believed him. “I'm sorry. I…I have to go,” he said, leaving the kitchen and heading for the living room.

  Karsyn followed as far as the kitchen doorway to see him grabbing his coat and leaving the house. Jareth sauntered over and nudged his wet nose into his hand. “I know. That was so weird,” he agreed, not sure what had just happened.

  Karsyn sat back down on the sofa once Jareth had eaten and been out, letting his sweet boy lie across his lap. He was watching the second film absently, not sure what to think about Ryder's exit or attempted kiss. He wanted to get his head together before he took the risk of inviting Romany over and tackling the whole 'Anonymous' issue with him.

  He wanted answers. Now.

  His phone pinged on the table and he picked it up instinctively, wondering if it was Ryder trying to apologise for being so strange. Instead, he saw the name Anonymous and his heart fluttered.

  How are you? Enjoying your date? he asked.

  Yes. He's gone and he only just escaped a broken nose, he confessed. He tried to kiss me, but I dodged in time. Seems all my rugby training came in handy, he joked lightly, unsurprised by the reply he got.

  That's a shame, he said.

  He wondered if that was because he was so jealous of Ryder being in a position to kiss him that Anonymous wanted him to get a broken nose, or if it was just that he didn't like Ryder. Which, he hoped it was, because that would tally up with the obvious tension between Ryder and Romany at the cinema.

  Karsyn decided this was his chance. Romany. He sent the name on its own, to see if he would deny it.

  There was silence for a good few minutes, so he felt safe sending the next text.

  Do you want to come over? he asked, hoping he would. He really wanted to settle some of the awkwardness between them.

  There was silence for so long that he was afraid he'd insulted Anonymous by getting his guess wrong and he would never talk to him again. Or that he'd frightened Romany off by guessing correctly and now he would be scared to go near him.

  Karsyn was an emotional wreck, as he sat on the sofa waiting for his phone to ping.

  Ten minutes passed, then fifteen and he almost slapped himself when he realised he was crying. He didn't want to lose Romany or Anonymous, even if they were separate people.

  Then the doorbell rang.

  Chapter 10

  Karsyn turned to stare at the door, a little shocked, a little hopeful and full of nerves. He slowly got up and walked to the wooden barrier between him and the one person who could be 'the one'. He took a deep breath and fixed his hair, to make sure he was presentable; then he noticed his baggy, stupid clothes and he wished he'd taken the time to think this through.

  Finally, he opened the door and there was Romany, tears in his eyes and looking guilty. He couldn't help but smile; they were both crying from fear and it was so silly. Karsyn didn't think, he just reacted on instinct. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Romany in the tightest hug he could possibly give.

  Romany hugged back just as hard. “Sorry I'm late. I…it wasn't safe to drive,” he said, with a crack in his voice that said he'd been unable to drive for crying.

  He hated that, but loved it too. He hated that it hurt him so much to be found out, but he loved that they both knew how important this was. “Come on in.” He smiled as he stepped back, moving out of the way.

  Romany walked straight over to the sofa, where Jareth was already curled up. He smiled at the dog, lightly ruffled the topknot on his head, which was something Jareth loved. His boy returned the affection by licking Romany's hand and lying back down again.

  Karsyn loved that the two got along so well, but he already knew that. When Romany had come over yesterday, he had been amazing with Jareth; helping feed him, letting him out, playing with him. And then he remembered what Anonymous had said; he had a Chinese Crested, so he'd be comfortable around dogs.

  He walked over and sat next to Romany, gently running his hand over his back. He was surprised to see that he not only couldn't look at him, but Romany leaned his elbows on his knees and ranked his hands through his hair, as if this was the worst moment of his life.

  “You're safe here, Romany. You're safe with me,” he promised, rubbing his back, trying to soothe him as best as he could.

  Either because he knew he was being honest or because he already knew it was okay, Romany turned and pulled him into his arms, breathing hard.

  Karsyn could tell he was trying not to cry again, but that was okay too. “Does anyone know?” he asked, since he had a suspicion that no one did.

  Romany shook his head, holding him tight as the dam burst and he finally let himself cry into his shoulder. Karsyn understood; it must have been so hard keeping such a big secret from his own parents and friends. What a burden that must have been for him. At least Karsyn's parents knew, even if Freddie didn't, yet.

  Karsyn put his full focus to Romany; sitting back and pulling him further into his arms where he knew he was safe.

  Eventually, Romany sniffed and wiped his eyes on his jumper before pulling back and staring at him. “How did you know?” he asked, his voice incredibly sexy with that intense emotion in it. It made him smile as he realised that he was finally going to get the answers he needed.

  “Little things. How sad you were the day after we were texting. The way you perked right up after we talked in class. You didn't seem surprised that Ryder was coming over today when you found out, or that I was going to the movies with him,” he confessed quietly. “I wasn't sure I was right until today. Mostly, it was hope. I was falling crazily in love with you and Anonymous. The only way I could have what I wanted was if you were the same person,” he admitted, refusing to lie when Romany was sitting there with his sultry green eyes full of tears.

  “So I wasn't as careful as I thought?” He laughed derisively at himself, but he wouldn't allow it.

  Karsyn reached out and brushed the tears from his cheeks, eliminating all evidence of them, before taking both of Romany's hands in his. “You were. I was just watching you really closely,” he promised, repeating his own words back to him.

  “Why?”

  “I was worried about you.” And that was the truth. Being so worried about why he wasn't the life and soul of the party all the time was what had started it all. It was what brought them closer together, what gave him the confidence to guess who Anonymous was.

  Romany fell into his arms again, as if deflated. But he didn't see it as a bad thing; he wrapped his arms around him and hoped that this meant they could move on. “What do we do now?” he asked.

  “I don't know. But you mean so much to me; I won't leave you to go through this alone. We're in this together. I promise,” Karsyn swore, holding him tight and trying to figure things out. It was clearly too soon to suggest a relationship, but he would give Romany all the time he needed to adjust.

  He could only imagine that, for him, being outed as Anonymous was just as frightening as being outed as gay. So, Karsyn would take a step back and let him breathe, while being there to offer friendship and support. Then, when Romany was ready, he would bring up the little matter of them being in love with each other.

  Later that night, after watching two movies and having a pizza for lunch, as any other friends might do, Romany left. Not with a kiss or a profession of love, but with a tight hug and a promise to speak to him soon. Romany had barely left his arms all afternoon, still crying a little to himself as he left.

  Just as Freddie walked in the door, back from hanging out with one of his friends, Karsyn's phone buzzed with a message from Anonymous;

  Thank you for today. This is why I love you. But I need some time. Romany. Xx

  It was probably one of the sweetest texts he had ever had from him, but he understood what it meant. He needed time to proce
ss what was happening, to come to terms with everything, and Karsyn was more than okay with that.

  They had already agreed that if they were going to date then they wanted to come out first, so they could be open about their relationship. Now that he'd discovered Romany's secret, the timeline for coming out had just been moved forward. So, wanting Romany to be safe and happy, he'd sent back his reply.

  Take all the time you need. I love you enough to wait.

  Freddie slouched over to the sofa and sank onto it with a huff of breath. “How was your day?”

  “Fine,” he answered absently, frowning as his phone rang with the name Anonymous as the caller. “Sorry, let me just take this, then I'll be back,” he promised, offering his kid brother a smile.

  Getting up, Karsyn pressed 'accept' and walked over to the kitchen to answer the call. “Hey, what's up?” he asked, only to worry when there was the sound of crying on the other end.

  “Don't be nice to me. I can't take it right now,” Romany complained, only to sniff and let out a long, harried sigh. “Look, I'm not the macho guy everyone thinks I am. Just because I play rugby, it doesn't mean I'm made of stone. I cry, okay! A lot. And I freak out and I panic. I really like you and I hope to God this can work out, eventually, but you have to stop being nice to me!” he demanded.

  Karsyn couldn't help but laugh a little. “No chance. For all the reasons above and more,” he argued quietly. “I like you, I care about you...as a friend and as Anonymous...so you're just going to have to accept that I want to take care of you when you freak out and when you cry. I don't give a shit if you're emotional, a weirdo or if you cry every minute of every day. As long as you're happy with who you are then I am too,” he promised.