The Darkness of Perfection

by Michael Schneider

  First published by The Writer’s Coffee Shop, 2011

  Copyright © Michael Schneider, 2011

  The right of Michael Schneider to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000

  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The Writer’s Coffee Shop (Australia) PO Box 2013 Hornsby Westfield NSW 1635 (USA) PO Box 2116 Waxahachie TX 75168

  Paperback ISBN-978-1-61213-024-8 E-book ISBN-978-1-61213-025-5

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the US Congress Library.

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  www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/mschneider

  Michael, the mother of three girls, has been married to her high school sweetheart for 28 years. A central Texas native, Michael lives in a small town outside of Austin with her husband, teenage daughter and two cats. She and her husband also have two grown daughters.

  When she is not busy writing, or balancing the role of wife and mother, Michael can usually be found quilting or gardening. She also enjoys watching science fiction movies and visiting area antique stores with her friends and family.

  To my husband, Robbie and my beautiful daughters: Caitlin, Rachael, and Meagan and our Katie.

  Thank you for talking me off the ledge when I was frustrated and ready to pull my hair out. I owe you all so much for putting up with me through this novel and for asking you to wait for my undivided attention. I love y’all!

  To everyone who helped polish this novel: Lea, Andrea and Caryn. Thank you for putting up with me.

  And last but not least, my undying gratitude to my friends; Jenny, Jo, Pat, Michelle and Erin. Thank you for taking time out of your life to help me with plot problems and cheering me on to the finish line.

  The wiper blades swept across the windshield, clearing the glass momentarily before the steady rain immediately blocked my vision again. Forest lined either side of the lightly traveled highway, the only light coming from my headlights and those of the occasional passing car. The temperature had been dropping steadily as we drove farther away from Houston.

  I looked again at the rearview mirror, checking for anyone suspicious following us, and glanced at the dashboard clock before focusing on the road again. We’d been traveling for sixteen hours with no sign of pursuit, stopping only for gas and food along the way.

  The car I’d purchased wasn’t pretty, but it had none of the tracking devices I’d been hearing about and was nondescript. I just hoped the salesperson was too happy with the new BMW I left on his lot, and the additional cash that lined his pocket, to remember anything about the car if anyone came asking.

  I’d more than likely brought trouble to his doorstep, and it made me feel a pang of guilt, but when it came to my daughter I would do anything and sacrifice anyone to save her. Besides, the guy was a rip-off artist who took advantage of my plight. The car I traded in was worth more than this one, and yet he still wanted cash to let me use his computer. I guess later, when we’re safe, I’ll think about whether that made me just as evil as the men I was running from, but I had to believe God would understand and forgive me. Just to be safe, I said a prayer that he wouldn’t be leaving behind a family that needed him.

  They probably had other ways of tracking us, since they had a lot of money, but I’ve done everything in my power to hide us from them. What I knew about the outside world was probably outdated. I hadn’t been a part of that world since I was twelve years old. What knowledge I possessed came from blending into the woodwork and keeping my ears open. Men were arrogant and full of their own self-importance. No one paid attention to the mousy little wife who flitted around in the background pouring coffee and serving food.

  We crossed the Oklahoma state line a couple of hours ago, and my stomach was in knots as I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress. I had no idea Texas was so big, since I’d never been out of the Houston area. It took most of the day just to get out of Texas, yet hardly a blink to cross Oklahoma into Colorado.

  That’s when I realized my mistake; we were supposed to be headed to Springfield, Missouri not Springfield, Colorado. I didn’t even know there was more than one Springfield. I had heard talk about Springfield, Missouri and knew it should be a big enough city for us to disappear in. I didn’t know anything about this place and could only hope having the same name meant it was just as big.

  After so many hours on the road, I started to feel the first stirring of hope that we might actually have gotten away, but I’d probably never stop looking over my shoulder. Men like Richard Harrison had a long memory. In his eyes, what I had done was considered stealing, and in doing so, I had signed my death warrant. If he caught me, he’d kill me without even thinking about it.

  But how can it be stealing if she came from my body? I stroked the soft head of my daughter sleeping in the seat beside me. As traumatic as this last year had been, she didn’t fully understand what was in store for her. I wanted to keep it that way. No man, woman, or child should ever experience the nightmare I lived. I would die a thousand deaths before I let that monster have my child again.

  I’d always thought my husband loved our daughter. He treated her like a princess, his greatest treasure. He brought her little souvenirs from his many business trips, and even watched cartoons with her when time allowed. He always made sure she wore the finest clothes and he never raised a hand to her. It was a foolish dream I’d held onto since the day the midwife placed her in my arms that somehow my daughter would have a better life than I’d had. Wasn’t that every mother’s dream?

  I hadn’t seen the plans he’d had for her all along. She was his greatest treasure and one he’d planned to exploit. She was a beautiful baby from the moment she was born, with blue-green eyes and a full head of soft brown hair with blonde tips. David named her Jayden. I’d thought it was a sign that he loved me because her eyes would probably turn the same shade of green as mine, but I learned afterward that it was his boss that decided her name. And her fate.

  My husband, David Rogers, and his boss, Richard Harrison, grew up together, learning and growing in the underworld in which they lived. Richard went from a devious bully into a heartless man, filled with pure evil; a vicious viper who would strike without warning. He exuded power with his tall physique and carried it well on his broad shoulders. His cool exterior masked a quick temper and an even quicker hand in judgment and vengeance. With the charisma to charm even the staunchest of men, he was destined to run his family’s underworld empire. Of course, if you couldn’t be bribed or coerced, then you were simply eliminated.

  David’s stature was unassuming: average height, black hair, hazel eyes. There was nothing special that stood out about him, which made him perfect for this life. He blended in like a piece of furniture. His whole appearance was nonthreatening until his opponent dropped their guard and it was too late to run.

  Then he would finally show his true nature and attack. I’d spent the last seven years in constant fear of his violent mood swings.

  I wish I’d known there was more to life t
han I’d been led to believe. There were no expectations beyond those taught to me by the men who ruled my world. Women were taught that our sole purpose was to keep a man happy in whatever capacity they demanded, and I was prepped for this life from the time I was old enough to reach the stove and push a vacuum cleaner on my own. I hadn’t even known the term “white slavery” when I was given to my husband. It was just the way life was. I believed the propaganda that “all men are created equal and women had no rights.” The only women I knew were just like me, bought or given to a man as reward for going above and beyond in the Harrison’s empire.

  It wasn’t until the death of a dear friend that I began to question there was something inherently wrong with my life. My husband’s actions confirmed it.

  My parents were uneducated and completely dependent on the Harrisons for the roof over our head and the food on our table. Father managed the grounds of their country estate while my mother cleaned their mansion. I often saw David and Richard in the distance when I would bring my father lunch or help my mother clean in preparation for one the Harrisons’ grand affairs. They were in their twenties and I was still a teenager and just another servant. David spent a couple of years in prison after he took the fall for a drug bust at Mr. Harrison’s order, to test his loyalty to the family. When he was released I was given to David for his sacrifice. I was only fifteen. Jayden was born a year later.

  David always thought he’d stand beside his friend and run the Harrisons’ empire as his right hand.

  Instead, upon the senior Mr. Harrison’s untimely death, Richard elevated someone else to that position and David remained a ‘grunt man’, never rising to the status he’d always dreamed of. His envy and resentment grew over the years, and what I hadn’t realized was that he’d found another way.

  We’d been invited to spend the weekend at the Harrisons’ country home. There was a party for their youngest son the weekend before that we’d been unable to attend because Jayden had the flu. David was livid that she’d gotten sick, but Richard extended the invitation to the following weekend instead.

  Jayden had just celebrated her fifth birthday. What David failed to tell me was that he would also be delivering on the deal he made five years earlier. That bastard traded our daughter for his dream.

  I think I surprised everyone by fighting. I’d never once stood up to my husband, or any man for that matter, but I would for my child. I bit, slapped, kicked, and threatened, all the while screaming for Jayden. In the end I was beaten unconscious and when I woke she was gone.

  Five years of raising and loving my daughter to have her snatched from my arms nearly destroyed me.

  I don’t know how long I spent locked away in isolation before David let me out again. When he did, there was nothing left to show she’d ever been born. He’d erased her from our life, but I plotted and planned to find a way to rescue Jayden while fantasizing of all the horrible ways my husband and Richard could die.

  As a woman trapped in this life, I had very little recourse or allies. I didn’t trust the police because I had no way of knowing who was honest and who worked with them. Richard Harrison was a very powerful man and had many cops on his payroll. My only hope was to find some opening to allow me to see my child and take her from them. One year, four months, two weeks, three days, seven hours and twelve minutes. That’s how long it took to finally see my child again. They had already begun brainwashing her. She wouldn’t look at me and clung to that boy any time I came near her. That horrible boy, the one she thought of as her friend, treated her like a pet. She followed him around like a lost puppy, performing ‘tricks’ for his amusement.

  Her once bright, inquisitive eyes had dimmed and were wide with fear. I stifled a cry as I thought of it, not wanting Jayden to wake up and see me crying.

  Then, in the midst of her nightmare, God had given my baby an angel to watch over her, who did her best to keep my memory alive for Jayden and remind her how much I loved her. An angel who helped us escape.

  I took my eyes off the road to look at my daughter again as I brushed her hair from her innocent face.

  She would maintain her innocence, never knowing the depravity she’d escaped, and I’d do everything in my power to help her forget what went on in that house, and always protect her.

  I turned to the road again as something caught the corner of my eye. I screamed and quickly pressed on the brake, causing the tires to hydroplane on the wet road. The deer darted in front of us and I turned the wheel, frantically trying to stop spinning but hitting the deer in the process as the car careened off the road and down the embankment at an angle. It flipped twice before there was the sickening crunch of twisted metal and Jayden’s screams. Then the car came to a shuddering halt against a tree.

  I don’t know how long I was unconscious before I heard someone shout that help was coming while they beat against the doors and windows, trying to save us. It took a moment for me to comprehend the gravity of our situation, suddenly realizing I couldn’t take a breath or move my legs or left arm. I felt something warm and wet on my face as I strained to focus through a red haze that clouded my vision. This car had none of the safety features of the BMW I’d traded in; there were no airbags to save me from the steering wheel now crushing my chest.

  I tried to reach for Jayden crying beside me, but was held fast by the steering wheel. “Jay-” I said, swallowing the blood pooling in my mouth. “Jayden, whe-where do you hurt, baby?”

  I feared the answer, while some small part of me almost wished she was dying with me. How could I protect her if I wasn’t going to be here? What would become of my baby now? Who would raise her and love her? Who would teach her to dream? And worse, how could I stop the monsters from finding her? Our false identification was in my bag, but Jayden wouldn’t know to give her new name. It was the only protection I could give her now.

  “Mommy,” she cried, and then there was the faint click of the lock as she released her seatbelt and she clasped my hand, scooting closer. “Mommy, my t-tummy h-hurts and my-my foot hurts. Kiss it better?”

  “I know it hurts baby.” I inhaled and winced as the sharp pain in my chest worsened. “Jayden, I need you to listen very closely to Mommy; this is important. We’re going to play a new game. You’re going on an adventure.” I wanted to sob when she cried out in fear. She had spent over a year living in terror and I could only pray that God would watch over my baby for me if I didn’t make it out of this alive. As the sirens got closer, I realized, one way or another, I was almost out of time. “Jayden, I know you’re hurt and scared, but I need you to do this for Mommy, okay? Can you do this for me, please?”

  “I d-d-don’t wa-want to g-go by myself. I w-w-want you to g-go with me!” she screamed. “I want you, Mommy!”

  As the pain radiated from my chest, she clutched frantically at me as she tried to crawl her way into my lap. My vision turned black and I came close to fainting as the burning of bile and blood filled my mouth again. I swallowed continuously, pushing it back so as not to scare Jayden any more than she already was.

  “Jayden, I need you to do this for Mommy. Please baby, it’s very important.” The wail of the sirens stopped suddenly, and then people were shouting. I was out of time. I held her to me and blinked to clear my vision, if only for a moment, to see my daughter one last time. I was greeted with her tearstained face and bloodied nose as she cried, and I could only hope her injuries weren’t severe.

  “Sweetheart, you’re going to go on a grand adventure. You’ll see new places and meet new people who will take very good care of you.” I prayed I was right, because I was telling enough lies right now.

  “The only thing is you can’t tell them who you really are or where you come from. If anyone asks, your name is Jayden White, and it’s just you and me. You don’t have any other family.” The roar of a saw and the screech as it made contact with the car’s frame startled us, making Jayden clutch me tighter.

  “Promise me, Jayden, that you’ll never tell,�
�� I stressed. “Promise me!”

  She shrieked and covered her ears as the rescue workers tore through the twisted metal. With wide, frightened eyes, she stared out the window at the firefighters in their full yellow and black gear before looking back at me again.

  “Promise,” I said again, faintly.

  “I p-p-promise,” she whispered, nodding slowly.

  Then she sank back into the seat curling up against my side. As she slipped her small hand into mine, I held it, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time.

  Every bedtime story or fairytale begins with “once upon a time” and ends with “they lived happily ever after”. No matter the title, the story remains the same. Only the names and faces have changed.

  There is always a princess who needs to be saved from the evil stepmother or firebreathing dragon and there is always the strong but gentle prince who slays the monster and rescues the princess from certain doom.

  My life didn’t begin with a fairytale or “once upon a time”. While my mother strained to bring me into the world, another waited in anticipation of my birth. While she nursed me at her breast, two men shook hands and my destiny was set. When I was five, I learned what my destiny entailed.

  Daddy’s boss had invited my family to his big house in the country for the weekend. Daddy said it was a party for his son, Nicky, becoming a man. He took me and Mommy shopping for new clothes for the weekend and warned us to be on our very best behavior or he would be very angry. Daddy was very mean when he got mad at Mommy. One time I asked Daddy why he didn’t hit me, too, when I was bad and he said it was because I was special. I wish he thought Mommy was special, too.

  “I’m scared,”I cried. “I’ll drown.”

  I stood trembling on the edge of the diving board, staring down at the pool’s shimmering water.