Long, Tall Cowboy Christmas

by Carolyn Brown

  “I’m seeing a therapist for PTSD.”

  “Okay. Which doctor?”

  Nash rattled off her name and address. “It’s a preexisting condition I brought home from the last mission I was on and has nothing to do with this accident.”

  “If you have any of the symptoms on the papers I sent home with you, call me immediately. I’ll clear you today to drive and go back to whatever lifestyle you had before, but I do advise that you continue to keep your appointments with the therapist.”

  “Yes, sir.” Nash almost saluted the doctor.

  “No more falling off ladders,” the doctor said with a smile. “And thank you for your service, son.”

  Nash smiled and shook the doctor’s hand, then headed back toward the lobby, where he found Emma and Silas entranced in a cartoon on the television while Kasey flipped through a magazine. He’d admit it—he’d had feelings for her when she was nothing but a picture of another man’s wife, but that had been nothing compared to what he felt now when he held her in his arms. Living with her had been a breath of fresh air shot into a dark cell. But in all honesty, he knew he wasn’t right for Kasey. The army had already taken one husband from her, and for her to lose two would be cruel beyond what the heart could stand.

  So you’re going back as soon as you can? asked the voice inside his head as he stared his fill of the woman of his dreams from across the room.

  No, I’m not, he answered quickly. But if something happened to me, she’d still be losing two husbands.

  Thinking of leaving her put a lump in his throat and another one of those heavy rocks in his chest, but he had to think about her, not himself. She was an amazing woman and mother and she meant too much to him to see her hurt.

  “Nashie!” Silas squealed and ran toward him, his chubby little legs a blur.

  Emma was right behind him, twirling and dancing like a mixture of a ballerina and a swing dancer. “Watch me dance, Nash!”

  Nash stooped low enough that he could gather both of them up in his arms. “Were you good? Do we get to go to the café for burgers and ice cream on the way home?”

  “We’s good,” Silas said.

  “That’s great,” he said, but his eyes were on Kasey, who’d laid down the magazine and was coming their way, laden with a tote bag and three coats. “Let’s set you down and get you bundled up so we can get on the road.”

  The sun had peeked out from behind the dark clouds that had been spitting freezing rain thirty minutes before. Nash helped Kasey get the kids situated in the backseat of the van and then held out his hand.

  “Doc says I’m cleared for anything I want to do, including driving,” he said.

  She shook her head. “I’ll take us home.”

  “But I can drive now, Kasey.”

  “So can I, and it’s my van.”

  “What’s the matter with you?” he asked. “You haven’t been yourself all morning and it’s more than that little slip on the ice back there. What did I do wrong?”

  She got into the driver’s seat and snapped the seat belt with a dramatic flourish. “If you don’t know, then I’m damn sure not tellin’ you.”

  “Bad, bad.” Silas shook his finger at her.

  “I’m tellin’ Granny Hope,” Emma declared.

  “Peanut butter or burgers?” Kasey snapped.

  “Don’t take your pissy mood out on the kids,” Nash said.

  “They’re my kids. Just because they think you walk on water doesn’t make them yours,” she shot back.

  * * *

  Lord have mercy! What in the hell was wrong with her? Granted, Nash had been standoffish for a week, but that didn’t give her the right to act like a shrew, and damn it, she was so angry at him.

  He wouldn’t understand if she tried to put it into words. She felt used and discarded. Kiss her, have sex with her, dance with her, and then hardly even speak to her for five whole days.

  “I’m sorry,” she said but there was ice in her voice.

  “No, you aren’t. Just take me home and then you can get on back to your life. I can drive myself now, so you don’t have to feel obligated to stay on my ranch,” he said.

  “No! Café,” Emma said.

  “Take me to the ranch and then you can bring the kids back to the café. You don’t want to be with me anyway. Thanks for all you’ve done, but I’m a grown man who can take care of himself.”

  He folded his arms over his chest and stared straight ahead out the window. His teeth were clamped tightly and his full mouth nothing but a thin line. Anger radiated out of him like heat waves on the highway in July.

  “If that’s what you want, then fine,” she said.

  What is this fight all about? It was definitely Lila’s voice in her head. It’s not about who is driving. That’s just the excuse.

  Kasey flipped her hair back over her shoulder. Without a word, not even to correct Emma when she tried to boss Silas, she drove straight to the Texas Star and parked in front of the house.

  “Is this the way it’s goin’ to be, chère?” he drawled out the endearment like it was a dirty word.

  “Don’t call me that when we are fightin’ and yes, this is the way it’s goin’ to be, Captain Lamont,” she said.

  “So be it.” He got out of the van and stomped into the house.

  “Hungry to death, Mama.” Emma sighed dramatically.

  “Nashie?” Silas asked.

  “He’s goin’ to eat peanut butter.”

  “Nashie bad?” Silas’s eyes widened.

  “No, he just has to check on the sheep, but we’ll go to the café and have burgers.” Kasey fought to keep her voice even and held back the tears as she turned the van around. “How about we eat and then go spend the rest of the day with Lila and Uncle Brody?”

  “Yep!” Silas yelled.

  Paul and his old running buddy, Fred, were in the café with a big basket of french fries between them. Silas ran right to his grandfather and Paul slid out of the booth and pulled up a high chair to the end.

  “Let me take care of this one. You and Emma grab that last booth and have a girls’ lunch,” Paul said.

  “Thank you,” Kasey said.

  “You okay?” Paul asked.

  “Fine. Just a stressful day.”

  “Where’s Nash?” Fred asked.

  “We just got back from the doctor, and he’s been released to drive. He needed to get back to the ranch and I’d promised the kids that we’d eat at the café if they were good,” Kasey said past the lump in her throat.

  “Well, that’s good news.” Fred nodded.

  Daisy waved from behind the counter. “Be with y’all in a minute. Well, look at who’s comin’ in the door.”

  “Lila!” Emma let go of Kasey’s hand and ran across the floor. “Eat with me?”

  “Sure thing, princess,” Lila said. “I was runnin’ ranch errands and saw your van, Kasey. Thought I’d stop and have a burger. Where’s Nash?”

  “Come sit with us.” Kasey nodded toward the booth in the back corner.

  “Your usual?” Daisy raised her voice above the noise of more than a dozen conversations.

  Lila and Kasey both nodded at the same time.

  “I’ll get our drinks, Mama,” Lila said. “Looks like y’all are busy.”

  “Thanks, kiddo,” Daisy said.

  Lila brought two tall glasses of sweet tea and a small one with a lid on it filled with milk to the booth. “Okay, talk, sister. You look like you’re about to cry. Sadness or anger?”

  “A little of both.”

  “What was the fight about?” Lila asked.

  Kasey sipped the tea. “Lettin’ him drive home from the doctor’s office.”

  “Who won?” Lila asked.

  She stared out the spotlessly clean window at the parking lot filled with trucks and cars. “He didn’t drive, but I didn’t win.”

  “Okay, then what’s the fight really about?” Lila asked.

  Daisy brought three red plastic baskets fille
d with burgers and fries to the table. “Good to see you, Kasey. You ain’t been out much but then you’ve had your hands full with all this holiday stuff and with Nash, right?”

  “You got it.” Kasey forced a smile.

  Daisy made the telephone sign with her thumb and pinky finger. “Holler at me later, Lila.”

  Lila removed the paper from her burger and bit into it. “Nothing like a good old greasy burger.”

  “Yep.” Emma took a bite of hers.

  “Real argument?” Lila asked between bites.

  Kasey’s appetite faded after the first bite. “Build up and then let down. Little corn has big ears.”

  “Later?” Lila asked.

  “We’re comin’ to see you today,” Emma said.

  “That’s great.” Lila raised a dark brow toward Kasey.

  Kasey shrugged. “Thought we might spend the night and maybe even the weekend. Help get the ranch Christmas party in gear.”

  “We can use all the help we can get,” Lila said. “And we’ll talk later over a bottle of wine.”

  Kasey pushed back her basket. “Wine sounds wonderful, but there’s not much to tell.”

  “Oh, honey, I’ve done already walked the road you’re on, and I think there’s lots to talk about. Especially if it’s taken your appetite. S-E-X, yet?”

  Kasey blushed.

  “Yep, we need to talk.”

  * * *

  Christmas truly had to be a time of miracles and magic.

  Kasey spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen with Hope, Valerie, and Lila, and no one questioned why she was back at Hope Springs. She had told them that Nash could drive, so she and the kids were going to spend a couple of days away from Texas Star. Of course, Valerie was probably thinking that Kasey was coming home for good, and she might be right. And Hope needed the help for the ranch Christmas party on Saturday night, so she was too busy to question anything.

  It was close to midnight when Valerie and Jace went home to Prairie Rose and when Hope said good night to everyone and went to her little house located at the back of the ranch. She’d moved into it when she turned the ranch over to Brody, Nash, and Kasey the spring before.

  Brody said he had about an hour of phone calls to make and disappeared into the office.

  Lila waited until she and Kasey were alone before she brought out a bottle of blackberry wine. She didn’t bother with fancy flutes but poured it into a couple of recycled jelly glasses and motioned for Kasey to follow her into the living room. She handed Kasey one and then touched it with hers.

  “To a long talk about why you’re really here. So talk, little sister,” Lila said.

  “He was so sweet after the fight when he told me about knowing Adam and then so, so romantic on Monday night.” Kasey went on to tell Lila the details of what had happened after the school program. Then she stopped and drew her feet up on the sofa and sat cross-legged.

  “And the next morning?” Lila pushed for more.

  “He was coldly indifferent, like nothing had happened between us. Every day has been the same. He stays in the barn or out on the ranch, only coming in for meals.”

  “Evenings?” Lila asked.

  “He watches television or helps with the kids until they go to bed and then he disappears into his room until breakfast,” Kasey answered.

  “And you let him? What in the hell is the matter with you, Kasey? This isn’t the red-haired spitfire that I know,” Lila said.

  “If he doesn’t want to spend time with me…” Kasey defended herself.

  Lila didn’t let her finish the sentence. “Talk to him and figure out what he’s thinkin’. Make him use words, and even if you think you can read him, don’t let him get away with that. Brody tried it with me a few times. I asked him if he thought I was a damn mind reader.”

  “I don’t have that right,” Kasey said.

  “Bullshit!” Lila fussed. “You’ve been over there takin’ care of him and his house and helping on the ranch, so you have every right. Plus you slept with him. If he was just playin’ you for a night of sex, then make him say it outright and then slap the crap out of him for it. If he really cares for you, then make him say it. You should go home after the party tomorrow night and walk in there like you own that ranch and you’re royally pissed.”

  “But—” Kasey started.

  “Would you have let Adam get away with that?”

  “Hell, no!”

  “There’s the attitude I know. Get your stompin’ boots on right after tomorrow’s party. We need you until then and he needs to think about things but then you’re going to march in there and shoot the elephant that’s in the room with y’all.”

  Her glass made a clunking sound when she touched it to Kasey’s again and they both downed the rest of the wine.

  “Now.” Lila’s dark eyes twinkled. “Tell me about the sex. Any good?”

  Crimson filled Kasey’s entire face.

  “That good? Wow! And you’re lettin’ that get away because you’re afraid to stand up for yourself?”

  Kasey divided the rest of the wine between them, almost filling the two glasses. “I guess anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

  “You’re preachin’ to the choir for sure, darlin’.” Lila laughed. “Your whole family, except Jace and you, hated me and thought I was going to be the complete ruination of your brother.”

  “Yep.” Kasey raised her glass. “And they love you now, but Mama is so against me even being over there with Nash because Henry was kind of strange.”

  “She’ll come around.” Lila winked. “And now I’m going to bed with that sexy cowboy I married. Keep me posted?”

  “Sure thing.” Kasey nodded.

  She tipped up the glass and finished off what was left. She wanted another glass—hell, maybe another bottle—but she didn’t need a headache the next morning. “Adam, you could help me out here,” she whispered as she checked on the kids and made her way to the bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and pushed a button to turn on the radio on the nightstand.

  Tears started to flow as soon as she heard the first piano notes of “Go Rest High on That Mountain.” Vince’s sweet voice left no doubt that the message was from Adam. Like the lyrics said, Adam’s life had been trouble and that he wasn’t afraid to face the devil. Adam had faced more demons that he could ever talk about, but the words said that his work on earth was done.

  “Okay, I get it. I should move on.” She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

  Her phone pinged and she checked the message. It was from Nash, and once again it was only a link to a song. She hit it and Blake Shelton’s voice filled the room with “God Gave Me You.”

  She sent a text: We’ll talk tomorrow after the party.

  She got one back immediately: Fair enough.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kasey was making the rounds among the newest guests at the ranch Christmas social when Emma tugged on her skirt tail. “Mama, where’s Nash? I miss him.”

  “We’re going home tonight, and you can see him before you go to sleep. Where’s Silas?” Kasey blinked half a dozen times but it didn’t change the fact that she’d called the Texas Star home.

  Emma shrugged.

  “Where’s Rustin?” Kasey asked.

  Emma pointed toward the Christmas tree where Rustin and his friend Kyce were huddled around a tablet playing a game. “Boys!” She sighed.

  “Is Silas with Uncle Brody?” Kasey scanned the room and located Brody and Lila talking to Gracie and Paul. And there was Jace sweet-talking a pretty blonde in a cute little blue velvet dress. Hope was with Fred and his wife, and Valerie was discussing something with the caterers.

  “Silas is gone to get Nash,” Emma answered.

  “How? What? Are you sure, Emma?” A double dose of adrenaline hit Kasey, making her heart sound like a rock band’s drums.

  “Yep, that way.” Emma’s finger shot up toward the kitchen door.

  She crossed the room in a h
urry and grabbed Jace by the arm. “You’ve got to come help me. Silas has run away. Emma says he went to get Nash.”

  Lila laid a hand on her shoulder. “What’s goin’ on? You look like you’re about to faint.”

  “Will you watch Emma and Rustin for me?” She went on to tell her that she and Jace were going to search for Silas.

  “We can have everyone in this place combing the ranch for him in five minutes,” Lila said.

  Jace shook his head. “Let’s not ruin the party. We’ll probably find him in twenty minutes or less.”

  Kasey slung a coat over her little black dress, changed her high heels for a pair of Lila’s cowboy boots sitting by the back door. She was already going out of the yard gate when Jace caught up to her.

  “Call Nash,” he yelled. “Tell him to start toward us.”

  “My phone is at the house in my purse,” she said.

  Jace tossed his toward her. “Use mine.”

  Nash had programmed his number into her phone and she didn’t know it from memory. She stopped in her tracks and shut her eyes tightly, trying to remember the house phone number for Texas Star, but nothing came to mind.

  “I’ve got to go get my phone,” she said.

  “I’ll run back and grab it. You keep walkin’ and I’ll catch up to you.” Jace disappeared into the darkness.

  “Silas!” she screamed and counted off five steps and yelled again. It seemed like she’d walked a hundred miles before she heard the crunch of dead leaves as Jace jogged back toward her.

  “Had to hunt down your purse,” he said. “You take the fork toward Texas Star and I’ll go to the barn.”

  Hero bounded from the path leading to the springs and yipped at Kasey, then whipped around and returned back the same way. She called Nash on the run and he picked up on the first ring.

  “Hello, Kasey,” he said.

  “Where are you?” she asked, breathlessly.

  “On Hope Springs property. My sheep found a way out of the corral and I’m tracking them. It looks like they’re headed toward the springs. What’s wrong?”

  “Silas is missing. Jace is going toward Texas Star looking for him. Silas told Emma he was going to get you,” Kasey said.