Loving Control

by Ann Jacobs

  “I’ve known I was a Dom for about fifteen years, since I was nothing but a green kid exploring his sexuality. I get off being in control sexually.” He paused, his words hanging between them as though he expected a response. “I was married briefly when I first started my residency, to a woman who wanted nothing but plain vanilla sex, and since then I’ve had subs who’ve provided everything but plain vanilla. Until now, I’ve never found a sub with whom I could imagine sharing a life. Maggie, I’ll never interfere with your career or humiliate you the way I’m guessing your last Master may have done. But I want more than a fuck buddy on weekends. I’m hoping you do, too.”

  She did, even more than she needed the control he offered. Somehow he’d known intuitively her misgivings, her fears. He was wrong about her old Master being cruel but right that she’d dreamed of a Master with whom she could share everything—not just sexual kinks.

  “I’m thirty-seven years old, and part of me apparently is ready to settle down. I’ve learned that just any sub won’t satisfy me any longer. I want a woman to love. To share more with than just this.” He lifted her face, made her stop sucking him now to meet his gaze. “I want you. Even before I guessed you hid a submissive nature behind the armor of reserve you wear, I ached to have you. You gave me wet dreams, made me want you so much that I was even willing to restrain the dominant side of me. I’d planned to do that the other night. I want you 24/7. I want to walk into your office and kiss you any time I feel like it, in front of anybody who cares to look. Maggie, tell me you’ll let our relationship come out into the open.”

  When she looked into his eyes, she saw desire. More important, she sensed he was sincere. She loved the idea of a partner, almost as much as she yearned to have her Master. But that longing terrified her as much as it aroused her. One part of her wanted to run as fast as she could, escape the trap of commitment. Another larger part of her brain admonished her to stay and hope Eli would never want to let her go.

  “Well, will you? Don’t keep me guessing. I don’t give a damn whether you wear my collar when we’re not alone, but I expect you to wear my ring.”

  “I’m wearing that already.” It tickled and tingled, reminding her it was beneath the dressing over her clit. Reminding her she belonged to him.

  He lifted her left hand to his lips and sucked the third finger into his mouth. “This is the kind of ring I’m talking about. The kind that goes here, where everybody can see.”

  What? She hadn’t dreamed, hadn’t dared to even consider Eli might want that kind of commitment. Not now, probably not ever. Maggie wanted to say yes. Instead, she took advantage of the fact he’d let her go when he picked up her hand to duck her head and close her mouth over his thick cock head. Using her tongue, she rotated the barbell in his piercing. He let her do it, though from his stillness, she wasn’t going to get away with it without a response. But she had to be careful, consider all the changes being his full-time slave would entail. Visualizing a life with her Master being a big part of her professional life—an omnipresent reminder of her subservience—troubled her even as the prospect intrigued her.

  “Well?”

  From Eli’s husky growl, Margaret surmised that she’d managed to get him even hornier. But he still expected an answer to his proposal—a verbal one. That became obvious when he laid his hands on her shoulders and said, “Stop that for now, baby.”

  “You want us to live together?” She couldn’t even consider marriage at the moment, even though the mention of a ring implied that.

  “I want you to marry me. Eventually. We can just live together for a while if that’s what you want.” He slipped his arms around her, drew her up onto his lap. “We’ve been friends for ages. We’re professional colleagues.” His gaze softened. “And you can’t deny we’re damn good together in bed. What more could you ask for?”

  She didn’t know. “I’m Jewish,” she blurted out, grasping for any reason to say no.

  “So what?”

  “Our parents—they may not approve.”

  “Maggie Berman, quit making excuses. I’m not going to interfere with your religion, and I doubt you’re going to mess around with my beliefs. Don’t worry. My mom will love you. She’s been angling for me to find a good woman and settle down ever since I finished my residency and moved back to Texas.” Eli paused, and his expression turned serious. “Don’t tell me your parents would object to you marrying someone who doesn’t share their faith.”

  They would, but then Margaret hadn’t spent a lot of time during recent years trying to please her sober, academic-minded and very demanding parents. Long ago she’d found that making the effort was futile. “Yes, but I’ve spent most of my life disappointing them, even when I tried not to. It’s…it’s just… Oh, I don’t know.”

  “Baby, I can’t imagine you ever disappointing anybody. Particularly your folks. Damn it, parents are supposed to love kids as they are, and not very many could ask for more than you’ve already given them. College. Med school. You’re doing great in a specialty residency program that’s rough for anybody to get into.” Eli’s expression was fierce, as though he truly couldn’t fathom her parents feeling anything other than pride in her accomplishments.

  Come on, Eli. Take away my choice. Order me to marry you. He had no problems ordering her to service him in any and every manner imaginable. No difficulties making her come at his command, bombarding her with more erotic sensations than she’d ever felt before. Truth be known, he had no problem making her heart go mushy with emotions having nothing to do with his mastery of her in bed.

  “Can’t make up your mind, Maggie girl?”

  “I…I—no. No, Master.” She couldn’t control the tremor that went through her body when she realized she’d displeased him.

  “Baby, I won’t hurt you. Ever. The only way I’ll punish you is by denying you this.” He lifted and turned her to straddle him, then rubbed his cock against her through her sweats. “And that would be awfully hard to do.” With a gentle hand, he cupped her breast, then lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I never want to make you cry.”

  “So, it’s either marry you or lose you as a master?”

  “I wouldn’t say that. But I want us to be together, as friends and lovers to our colleagues and friends, and as my much-loved sex slave when we’re alone. Be honest. You want that, too.” He slid a hand inside her sweats, stroked her wet, hot slit. “Your cunt’s telling me yes, but I want to hear it from your pretty lips, too.”

  She wanted him. It wasn’t just her weeping pussy. With every bit of her being she screamed for Eli to take her now. He’d said he wanted a woman to love, but did he love her? How could she ask for that declaration this soon? But it wasn’t too soon. It felt as though they’d known each other forever, and truth was, she loved him. But… Say you love me. Me. Not your resident. Not your friend. And not your sex slave, either. “I can’t. Not yet.”

  “I want you too much to let you seal me off into one corner of your life. I want it all.” He stroked her hand, his touch incredibly gentle, incredibly arousing. “Think about what we’ve got together. Do you really want to lose it by saying no?”

  What is love if not desire…and respect? Margaret didn’t think she’d be able to argue with her body or her heart. She couldn’t see him every day at the hospital and not want to throw herself into his arms. He’d said he would give her time, but she had a feeling seven years wouldn’t be long enough to alleviate her worries.

  Damn it, she was a surgeon. She made split-second decisions in the OR, usually with decent results. Why not make one now, reach out and take what she wanted more than anything? She took a deep breath, drew on the courage that had let her step up and try to snatch a patient from the jaws of death. “I don’t need any time to decide. Not if you love me.” Then she fixed her gaze on their joined hands. Waited. Seconds ticked away, along with her ability to breathe, to hope…

  Then he spoke, his voice quiet, confident, compelling. “Baby, I love
you. Never thought I’d feel this way again, but I do.” Eli’s smile turned as warm as a summer day, though the breeze had picked up and she’d just been shivering despite having on his warm sweats. “I do. Now, let’s enjoy our weekend. We’re going to have a busy time making wedding plans.”

  She couldn’t help laughing. Her Master didn’t waste time here, any more than he did in surgery. “I just said I’d marry you, and you won’t give me a little time to get accustomed to the idea?”

  “Nope,” he said, grinning back at her. “I’m not giving you time to change your mind.”

  Damn, but she liked having a Master who knew what he wanted and wasn’t shy about going after it. “All right. Now may I finish sucking you off, please?”

  “Feel free, baby. I’m not about to tell you no. But first, let’s go back in the house. I want to taste every inch of your luscious body and make you come. You’re mine now. All mine.”

  * * * * *

  Inside, seductive music caressed her ears. Music Margaret hadn’t noticed was playing when they’d gone outside an hour earlier. When Eli lifted her in his arms and carried her not to the dungeon but upstairs to the loft where they’d slept, she felt…loved.

  Not merely wanted.

  The sweet scent of vanilla rose in the air when he tossed bath oil crystals into the Jacuzzi tub. Fat candles flickered in the windowsill, their reflections bouncing off the angled window and skylights.

  “You have beautiful breasts,” Eli murmured when he’d lifted his sweatshirt over her head. “Tempting.” He bent, kissed each aching nipple, then straightened and caressed her cheek. “I do love you, you know.”

  She sensed something different in his touch, a promise of devotion she’d never recognized in his deep voice before. It was almost as though he were seducing a beloved innocent, not mastering his slave. “Please, Master. Make me…”

  “You don’t need bonds. Not now. Trust that I’ll take good care of you. That I’ll make you come for me.” He slid the sweatpants down her legs, his large hands caressing her, massaging her calves and thighs. Kneeling, he examined the dressing on her pierced clit, his touch gentle. Arousing. “The dressing’s waterproof. Come on, join me in the tub,” he said when he stood and stripped off his own clothes.

  The tub was deeper than it looked, Margaret realized as soon as she stepped in. Warm bubbles tickled her breasts as they burst against her body. Eli settled behind her, his erection a fiery probe nudging the crack of her ass. Would he…

  She spread her legs, inviting him in, eager for the stretching feeling of pleasure-pain when he’d penetrate her anus with his huge, hot cock. No. Not her body but his, to do with as he would.

  “No hurry, now. Come, sit on my lap.”

  Her cunt clenched with anticipation as she settled on his hard thighs. His erection nestled inside her labia, hot and throbbing. His hands cupped her breasts, squeezing and tugging at them until the nipples tightened and poked insistently at his palms. “Oh, yes, Master. Please.”

  “Like that, don’t you?” Shifting, he took each nipple between his thumbs and index fingers and rolled them, pulling them to where they barely broke the fragrant froth on the surface of the water.

  Her cunt clenched, and a sense of urgency began to grow in the pit of her stomach. The pressure and the tiny kisses of breaking bubbles of oil on the tips of her nipples helped her arousal build to a fever pitch. She wriggled, as if she could take his cock inside her on her own, soothe the urgent need to be filled. Taken.

  “Please. You won’t hurt me. I need you inside me. Don’t make me wait any longer. Fuck me now.” She didn’t care that he might punish her. She had to have him inside her, filling the throbbing emptiness…giving her his hot semen…triggering her own climax.

  “Relax, sweetheart. You know I don’t dare fuck you now, or play with my clit ring the way I want to.”

  “You won’t hurt me. Not as much as it will hurt if you refuse.” She clamped down on her lips, waited for her punishment. “I’m sorry, Master. Do with me as you will.”

  Eli felt her body tense, as though she expected a rebuke. She’d agreed to marry him, but he knew it would take more than a ring on her finger to allay doubts born of previous relationships and maybe even of the family she thought she could never please. He looked forward to being the doctor who’d heal those wounds, teach her to trust and love. Accept him as her Master again. And he’d start proving it now. He chafed her nipples once more, then set her off him. “Sit right here. And tell me if I hurt you. If you don’t, I’ll redden your pretty ass.” Stretching out so he could brace his feet against the other side of the tub, he lifted her until her hot, wet pussy cradled his cock.

  “Lean back,” he said, guiding her down then lifting her enough so he could take her from the rear. Reminding himself to go easy, he grasped her hips, lifted her and positioned his cock at the welcome entrance to her vagina. “Like that? I thought you would.” He helped her slide down on him, take him in. “That’s it, baby. Take me slow and easy. Feel yourself stretching, accepting me, taking my cock and making it your own.”

  “Oh yes, Master.”

  She was hot and wet. And so tight he was almost afraid to move for fear of hurting her, but she gave him no choice. Once she’d taken him in, she began to move up and down, setting the water in motion. Its gentle waves caressed his arms, his chest, his back. When she spread her legs further, he reached between them and stroked her incredibly smooth pussy lips, mindful not to brush against her clit.

  Her delighted moan told him she was close. So was he. Pressure built in his balls. He fucked her carefully as she fucked herself on his cock. With his free hand, he reached up and fed a finger to her mouth just as she screamed out with ecstasy. He couldn’t hold out longer. As her cunt clenched around his cock, he came—hot, fast spurts of semen that seemed to fuel her own climax.

  “I never came before when I wasn’t confined.” Hours later Maggie smiled over at Eli as they lay in bed, an amazed look in her beautiful eyes.

  He smiled. “You’re confined. With or without the ropes and cuffs and toys, and your mind knows it. It knows I’m your Master.” He rolled over, cupped her face between his hands as he leaned over her. “But I’m as bound to you as you are to me. For the first time in my life, I’ve been mastered by love.”

  Epilogue

  Once Maggie had agreed to a lifetime commitment with Eli, things started moving like a tumbleweed across a barren field. Nothing would do Eli but to spread the word—now, not later—to everybody they ran into once they got back to San Antonio. Within a day, they’d moved her few possessions to his spacious new condo unit not far from the Riverwalk.

  No one, not even the hospital administrator who could have pointed out that attendings weren’t allowed to fraternize with residents, seemed to mind that she and Eli had gotten together so suddenly. His partners welcomed her to their group, and their wives embraced her as one of them, without the slightest hesitation. Lynn Blackstone and Shelly Silverman even managed to squeeze a surprise engagement party into everybody’s busy schedule in a matter of three days.

  Maggie was happy but exhausted from the flurry of activity. She’d smiled until her face felt frozen, accepting congratulations from everyone at the hospital, from senior attendings to the pretty Mexican woman whose job was to tidy the surgery lounge.

  Now all they had left to do was inform their parents. Maggie was sure Eli had saved that for last because she was so certain her parents would raise objections.

  “I’ll go first,” he told her, sitting in front of the phone on a glass-topped cocktail table.

  “Thank you, Master.” She sat, snuggled against his powerful body, on the large brown leather sectional that took up most of the living room in his condo—now her home as well. Trying to calm her nerves, she looked at framed photos of Eli’s weekend cottage and one of the Medina River that she thought must have been taken at sunrise. The photos brought memories of the dungeon where they played, the peaceful sound of
forest animals outside the cabin, the gently running water tumbling over limestone and some fallen tree limbs only a few hundred feet from the front door. One visit there, and she loved the place because it told her good things about who Eli was, setting aside the obvious facts that he was a gorgeous specimen of a man, a loving master and a surgeon with compassion as well as skill.

  It didn’t work, trying to take her mind off facing her parents. Although she tried hard to squelch the fear that was building in her gut, she was pretty sure that Eli sensed her discomfort.

  “It’s all right, sweetheart. Mom will love you just like she loves me.” He put the phone on speaker and brought her left hand to his lips. One at the time, he kissed each finger, finishing up with the one where he’d put a perfect diamond solitaire last night, to the delight of the other guests at their engagement party.