Chosen

by Jessica Burkhart

  Almost an hour later, my phone buzzed.

  Taylor:

  Awake now, lol. What’s up?

  Lauren:

  Can u talk now? I rlly, RLLY have smthing 2 tell u!

  Taylor:

  Yeah, call me. I want 2 hear ur news.

  I picked up my catalogs, notebook, and pen and went outside to the pool deck. There was a slight coolness to the early-morning May air. I put down my stuff on a table and dialed Taylor. Unable to sit—the news too exciting!—I paced barefoot on the deck.

  “Hey,” Taylor said, answering after what felt like ninety-seven rings.

  “I’ve been going crazy waiting to talk to you,” I said, cheerful.

  “Sorry.” Taylor yawned. “I was with the guys yesterday and they stayed over playing video games until really late. I didn’t want to call too late and get you in trouble.”

  “Oh.”

  It stung a little that he couldn’t have left his friends for a minute or two to return my call. But he was talking to me now. What was the point in being mad now? I was too excited!

  “So, what’s the big news?” Taylor asked, still sounding pretty sleepy.

  “It’s really big,” I teased. “Yesterday, my parents told me they were giving me a present for graduation and for getting into Canterwood.”

  “So . . . what’d they give you?”

  “They haven’t given it to me yet. It’s something I have to pick out. They’re giving me a horse!” My voice rose several octaves every time I said that.

  “Lauren! That’s great. You’ll be completely ready for your new school now. I know how much you’ve always wanted a horse.”

  “Isn’t it the best gift ever?” I was squeaking so loud, I scared a squirrel. It darted through the grass and up a tree, stopping to chatter at me, as though it was scolding me.

  “That’s really awesome—like getting your first car. I’m really happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Tay. I’m starting to look tomorrow—and I’m going insane attempting to stay busy.”

  Taylor laughed. “I bet.”

  We talked for a few more minutes before agreeing to BBM later so we could figure out a day next week to go out.

  And I spent the rest of the day prepping for Canterwood in every possible way. By the time I went to bed, I had so many lists, they covered my bulletin board completely.

  I fell asleep wondering what my new horse would be like.

  ZERO CHEMISTRY

  “IS THIS IT?” I ASKED FOR THE HUNDREDTH time.

  “Yep,” Dad said, looking at his GPS. “We’re here.” He made a right turn and we drove a short distance down a country road before I saw the fences.

  Horses dotted the pasture. We turned down a driveway under a silver sign that said WILDEN FARM.

  Mom had work this morning, so Dad had driven me to the stable. I’d Chatted with Brielle and Ana on the drive over, writing @BrielleisaBeauty & @AnaArtiste Wish me luck!! 9:02 a.m.

  A new Chat symbol appeared on my phone just before we’d reached the stable.

  @LaurBell *tons of 4 leaf clovers* 9:24 a.m.

  I smiled at Brielle’s message. Ana was at a weekend art class, so I doubted she had her phone on. I put mine away, looking up.

  “There’s Kim’s truck,” I said, pointing.

  Dad pulled the SUV next to Kim’s red truck and we got out. I’d dressed in breeches, a T-shirt, and paddock boots. I tucked my helmet under my arm, walking next to Dad as we headed for the stable’s entrance.

  “Hi,” I said, spotting Kim inside.

  “Hi, Lauren,” Kim said. “Hi, Gregg,” she said, shaking my dad’s hand. “This is Jeffrey. He owns Wilden Farm, and he’s got a couple of horses for Lauren to try out.”

  “Hello,” I said, offering him my hand to shake.

  Jeffrey, looking surprised, shook my hand and Dad’s. He was an older man, probably in his fifties, and he had a kind smile.

  “Polite young lady you’ve got there,” he told Dad, nodding at me.

  “We try,” Dad said, laughing.

  “Kim told me about your experience,” Jeffrey told me. “I kept that in mind when choosing horses for you to ride. They’ve already been checked by a vet, I’ve got the paperwork to show you, and Kim’s given them both a careful look.”

  “Wonderful,” Dad said. “It’s important that I find the exact right horse for my daughter.”

  Jeffrey nodded his understanding. “Come this way,” he said, gesturing with a callused hand.

  We all followed him to a large indoor arena. Inside, a groom held two horses that were already tacked up. My eyes didn’t know where to look first! One horse was a chestnut mare with a stripe. The other was a blue roan gelding. Both were taller than Cricket, and my practiced eye took in their near-perfect conformation. They stood perfectly still, both flicking an ear forward as we approached.

  “What are their names?” I asked, smiling at the well-behaved horses.

  “The chestnut is Baylee and the gelding is Walker,” Jeffrey said. “They’re both four, so they’re a little green, but I don’t think you’ll have any trouble with your experience.”

  “Have they competed?” I asked, unafraid to be as direct as possible. “I’m looking for a horse to show—my specialty is dressage.”

  “They’ve both shown,” Jeffrey said. “Baylee has done more dressage work than Walker. Perhaps you’d like to try her first?”

  “Okay.” I put on my helmet and walked up to Baylee.

  I patted her neck while the groom offered me her reins. “Thank you,” I told him, gathering them in my left hand. I put my toe in the stirrup iron and swung into the saddle, settling lightly on Baylee’s back. She stepped forward as if I’d signaled for her to go before I’d even gotten my other foot in the stirrup.

  “Whoa,” I said, my voice firm.

  I gave the reins a short tug, halting her.

  Bayleee snorted and put her ears back, but listened. I kept my body relaxed in the saddle, mentally preparing myself for anything she might throw at me. Baylee was either having an off day, acting out simply because I was new to her, or she was a little greener than I’d thought.

  The mare and I made several laps around the arena. I strained to hold her at a trot and not let her break into a canter. Her mouth lathered with foam in just a few short minutes and her neck bowed under the reins. My arms shook from holding her back.

  This wasn’t working. Disappointment coursed through me even though I’d known better than to expect to fall in love with the first horse I rode.

  I eased her to a walk and turned her back toward Jeffrey, the groom, Kim, and Dad.

  “I’m very sorry,” I said. “I don’t want to put her through this anymore. We’re just not clicking.”

  “No need to apologize,” Jeffrey said, taking her reins so that I could dismount. “Not every horse and rider mesh. You’ll find one—whether it’s at my farm or from someone else.”

  Jeffrey was a good guy. Since Kim recommended him, I knew he would be. Another horse dealer could have tried to talk me and Dad into buying the first horse I rode—regardless of whether or not we were a match—just to sell the horse. But Jeffrey seemed to really care about making the right match between horse and rider.

  “You gave it a shot,” said Kim. “Lauren, why don’t you give Walker a try?”

  I mounted the roan. Walker was the opposite of Baylee. I had to ask him several times for a trot. For being four years old, he seemed to behave like a much older school horse who’d already been jaded by arena work.

  Walker listened to every cue, moving through serpentines, a working trot, changing leads, and cantering around the arena.

  But that was the problem. He actually felt too willing. There was no fire coming from him.

  I eased him over to the group, patting his neck.

  “He’s so sweet,” I said honestly. “I think he’d be perfect for a less experienced rider—he behaves quite mature for this age.”

  Kim turned
to Jeffrey. “Lauren needs a horse who’s a bit more of a challenge.”

  Jeffrey rubbed his bristly beard. “Okay,” he said. “That’s very helpful. I feel as though I know more about what you’re looking for now, Lauren. I’ve got a few more I’d like you to consider. Would you be willing to come back later in the week and try them?”

  I nodded, grateful.

  “I’m sorry you had to get Baylee and Walker all ready,” I apologized to the groom. Bryan, I’d heard Jeffrey call him.

  Bryan smiled, shaking his red head. “It’s my job. I’m Bryan, by the way. It was nice meeting you, Lauren. Good luck with your search.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I said. “I’ll probably see you later in the week. How long have you worked with Jeffrey?”

  “I’ve worked here after school for a while now—I’m saving up for my first horse,” Bryan said. “So I understand completely how important it is to find the right one.”

  I liked Bryan. The adults were deep in conversation about the next step. I was glad to have someone closer to my age to talk to.

  “It’s harder than I thought it would be,” I confessed, rubbing Baylee’s neck. Now that I wasn’t on her back, the mare was very quiet. “I feel bad saying no to any horse—I want all of them to go to a good home where they’ll be treated well and be loved. But at the same time, I have to find a horse that works for me.”

  “Absolutely, and don’t ever worry about Jeffrey’s horses. He always makes sure they’re paired with the right owner. Unless you’d come back a couple more times and had amazing rides with Baylee or Walker, he wouldn’t have sold them to you.”

  “That makes me feel a lot better,” I said. “Thanks.”

  “Lauren?” Dad walked over to me and Bryan. “Let’s head out so Jeffrey and Kim can get back to their days. We’ll come back later in the week so you can try a few more horses. Okay?”

  “Sounds great,” I said.

  I thanked Jeffrey and Bryan again, then waved good-bye to Kim.

  Once Dad and I got in the SUV, I let out a quiet sigh. I knew I should just be feeling grateful to have such an amazing opportunity. Still, I’d been waiting for this day with crazy anticipation. I couldn’t help but feel a little down.

  “Sorry I kept you away from work this morning,” I told Dad. “I tried but neither of them felt right.”

  “Oh, honey, don’t apologize. Kim told me this was going to take time—and I never want you to settle. You’ll know when you find the right one. And we will.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I smiled at him. “So, what day are we coming back?”

  “On Thursday,” he said. “It was the next time Jeffrey and Kim were both free at the same time. But in the meantime, Kim mentioned she had a horse at another farm that she wanted you to try tomorrow.”

  I grinned, relieved that we had another horse to go see so soon. Thursday felt like such a long ways away.

  I’d ride horses all summer long and wouldn’t stop until I found my horse. I knew the one for me was out there—I just had to keep trying each one until I found the exact match.

  I looked at Dad. I was so lucky that he was willing to drive me around trying all the horses I could. Not to mention Kim was there making sure everything went well no matter what farm we went to.

  I was excited about tomorrow, but something in my gut told me that it would be one of Jeffrey’s horses that would eventually work out for me. He’d listened closely and watched to see to what I’d wanted. Now that he’d seen me ride, I felt sure he’d be able to use that to find my match.

  When I got home, I BBM’d Brielle and Ana. There were already messages from them, waiting to hear how it had gone.

  Lauren:

  I tried 2 horses—a green mare and a trail horse. The 1st was 2 much and the other wasn’t enough.

  Ana wrote back a few minutes later.

  Ana:

  Sorry But at least u r out there looking.

  Brielle:

  Xactly. & u don’t want 2 settle.

  Lauren:

  Def not! I’m going out 2mrw 2 another farm & back 2 Wilden on Thurs.

  Brielle:

  Kim will find u the perf Canterwood horse. Try not 2 feel down abt today.

  Lauren:

  Did @ 1st, but I had 2 be real—I knew I wouldn’t find *the* horse on my 1st day looking.

  Ana:

  It’s going 2 b that much better that u tried so many horses when u find the ONE.

  Lauren:

  Thanks, A. I rlly think I’ll find the right horse @ Wilden eventually. But I’m still giving 2mrws horse a shot, obvi.

  Brielle:

  Good! And I totally agree w Ana . . . ooo! Want us 2 come w/u on Thurs?

  Lauren:

  OMG, I’d love that. U guys would be so much help!

  Ana:

  I’m totally free—I’ll be there!

  Lauren:

  Yay! Thx guys. TTYL.

  Once we said good-bye, I sat still and listened to the commotion around me. Charlotte flew in on Wednesday, so Mom had Ellen here today to clean. Mom had even taken the day off work, which made her nervous since her BlackBerry was usually superglued to her hand. She was readying Charlotte’s old room one door down from mine.

  Ellen had been asked to stay overtime to clean the house from top to bottom, which she graciously agreed to do. Mom wanted to make everything perfect for Charlotte’s first day home.

  Thinking about spending the summer with my older sister in the house made me a little nervous. I’d gotten used to it being just Mom, Dad, Becca, and me. Charlotte came home for holidays, but they’d always been short and there hadn’t been time enough to find a reason for us to fight. Last year, though, Charlotte and I’d had a big blowout.

  Just thinking about it didn’t make me feel especially eager for her to come home. I imagined that she probably felt the same way about me.

  I remembered it vividly. Charlotte had been packing to go back to school after coming home for spring break and had been hanging out with her old friends from high school.

  “Dad said to tell you that he’s taking me to my riding lesson and he’ll be right back,” I’d told her dutifully.

  Charlotte sighed. She turned and tugged her long, straight blond hair out from its messy ponytail. She was gorgeous—the only blonde in our family, with pool blue eyes to match.

  People always assumed that she was the pretty girl with tons of boyfriends (which she was) but they also assumed pretty was all there was to her. They were wrong. Charlotte had graduated with highest honors and had gotten early acceptance to Sarah Lawrence. For every hour I put into riding, she put that much time into studying.

  “Of course Dad’s taking you to a lesson,” she said, adding, “right before I leave,” just under her breath.

  “What does that mean?” I asked, stunned. “I can’t drive myself.”

  She tossed a sweater into her suitcase. “Whatever, Lauren. I’m over it. I’m just glad I don’t live here anymore.”

  It felt like she’d slapped me.

  “Why?” I asked. “What did I do to you?”

  “Please,” she spat, facing me. “I’m so sick of everything being about you, Lauren. Did you ever think about how it was for me and Becca when either Mom or Dad—or both—were a thousand miles away at your fiftieth horse show? Or how it felt when they missed all my school stuff because they were out supporting your little hobby?”

  “It’s not a hobby!” I screeched defensively. “I’m a professional rider, Charlotte. You know that. You’re so immature. Becca is way younger, but she actually gets it. She understands how important this is to me. You’re my sister—I thought you understood, too.”

  Charlotte folded her arms. Her cheeks were cherry red. “You’re not even going to apologize?”

  “For what?” I asked. I honestly didn’t understand why she’d gotten angry so quickly.

  Charlotte laughed. “Forget it. Forget everything. What a little brat. I can’t wait to get back to schoo
l, start classes again, and forget you and your idiotic horses even exist.”

  Do NOT cry! I told myself. I held back my tears and glared at my sister. I was always jealous of how gorgeous and smart she was. I worked three times harder than any of my classmates, just so I could be as smart as Charlotte one day. “I can’t wait until you’re gone,” I said. “If you can’t support me like a real sister would, then why are you even speaking to me?!”

  For the first time, she looked ugly to me. So ugly, I couldn’t bear looking at her old piggish face for another second. Suddenly, I whirled around and slammed her door so hard, it rattled the doorknob.

  Mom and Dad had come upstairs when they heard the door, but I was in my room, refusing to speak at all, let alone about what my own sister had said to me. Charlotte wouldn’t talk about it either. Becca came into my room. Eventually she rubbed my back while I cried into my pillow. I’d never wanted to take anything away from Charlotte and I certainly never meant to hurt her. But she’d never spoken to me about any of it before that day. I didn’t realize I’d done anything to hurt anyone. Had I really been as selfish as Charlotte claimed? I felt sick, her words going around on a loop in my head.

  I never loved Becca more than in that moment when she continued rubbing my back and reassuring me that she didn’t agree with Charlotte at all, once I was finally able to get out what had happened.

  I didn’t want to think about Charlotte anymore. It made me too stomachache-y and anxious. Instead, I picked up my phone to BBM Taylor. He’d asked me to let him know how horse shopping had gone.

  Lauren:

  So I just got back from trying 2 horses!

  He wrote back immediately.

  Taylor:

  How was it??

  Lauren:

  Not so great. They were good horses, but not the right fit for me.

  Taylor:

  Aw, sorry, Laur. But u r going to try more, right?

  Lauren:

  Yep! 2mrw and Thurs.

  Taylor:

  R u upset that u didn’t find 1 2day?